This Poem was Submitted By: James C. Horak On Date: 2009-09-25 01:06:55 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Blood

He gathers, the poet has, to wipe despair    the bandage of words, covering The bright red spill painting there Wondering has he hidden what he would                         reveal In illusions that drape too well horror                         until A voice whispers, “I am there and know                           you care.”

Copyright © September 2009 James C. Horak


This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2009-10-04 22:37:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.95455
Hi James, Beautiful. This flows like life giving blood, unadulterated and pure. You capture the essence of the nature of the poet and his art, remarkably well. Duane.


This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2009-10-04 21:20:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90000
JCH, I don't know where this was hiding. I is all a poem should be. Lovely and the title is intriguing. A lot of us care as well. very nice. Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2009-09-29 09:14:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.88889
full of power right from the start along with images allowing the reader to go where he or she may want....the title Blood is so right for this one and I like the whispering voice....."I am thre and know you care"......thanks for posting and sharing, God Bless and good luck with this months contest. Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2009-09-29 09:14:10
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.88889
full of power right from the start along with images allowing the reader to go where he or she may want....the title Blood is so right for this one and I like the whispering voice....."I am thre and know you care"......thanks for posting and sharing, God Bless and good luck with this months contest. Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2009-09-28 23:06:17
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.94737
Strong write; first verse pushes with power - the scene, feelings & emotions intended. Second verse amazes me with such insight - Wondering has he hidden what he would reveal - Tell me the poet wants his message displayed, yet the illusion to find it gives more pleasure when writing the poem - Nice! Last line threw me off just a little; because I'm not really sure - about the whispering voice - in ending this piece. Whose voice - the writers, the readers? an imaginary line, an illusion to end the poem. Now I need to know, about the voice, blessings, Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2009-09-28 16:58:25
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
JCH, The reason I like this so much is that it is a departure for you of sorts. From the very elemental, simple and direct title, "Blood," down through the simplicity of diction, this poem is a movement away from "formal" complexity, one of your tendencies. Some chant "simplicity" like a mantra . . . and I don't want to be confused with such. A less contrived (and I don't mean that in a bad way, but in the sense of "fashioned") mode of expression, such as you've utilized in this poem, can only serve you well in the future. And that is the only reason I am hitting on simplicity. Many great poems are complex formally speaking, and many are simple formally speaking. The call to "simplify, simplify, simplify" can kill as many poems and poets as a tendency to too much baroque complexity. Simple is good for this poem and as an exercise for you, the poet you are. The theme of this poem strikes me personally, for various reasons . . . which you, my friend and astute critic, know very well. A very important theme, and a good poem on it that reverberates for me. MSS
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2009-09-25 05:38:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.94118
JCH I experienced this as a "stopper". Your opening line did it: "He gathers, the poet has" gives me -- in addition to the sense of a craftsman gathering his materials -- a distinct sense of the poet gathering himself. And an equally distinct sense of his (ladies please note: I'm using JCH's gender choice!) uncertainty. I doubt, however, that the uncertainty of the poet is quite so easily assuaged. But at least we know you care: you've said so, very elegantly. MAH
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