This Poem was Submitted By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2010-01-06 15:33:51 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Jumbled words caught in thought Prisms of sound's refractions Squeezed from the tube of insight Ideas flare sporadic bright Concepts pondered, weighed, crossed  Awareness exposed then lost Modified, as could be the case Comment's poised to be replaced Syncopated and separated  Intermingled with intentions I write, to perhaps explain myself…

Copyright © January 2010 Dellena Rovito

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2010-01-25 09:17:17
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dellena, I love the word combinations in this, the actual thought patterns that produced this poem. Excellent in flow and meter and as it moves us to the end I find myself saying, yes-- bravo. Perhaps the epiphany comes with your closing line-- "I write, to perhaps explain myself...", and all the lights come on. This poem is envigorating and uplifting and I applaud you... throwing roses your direction. Lora

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2010-01-18 01:06:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
Stay out of your poems, Dellena. Good poetry is not about you. It's about us. Tom
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2010-01-17 21:36:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Dellena, What a way to start 2010 ! This poem is rich from beginning to end with a depth that is matched only by its richness in words. I like how you have thought through this, carefuly choosing your words and steering it all to a finish that nails it. I liked this a lot. Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Terry A On Date: 2010-01-17 03:41:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Dellena, I enjoyed this lark into how thought functions, done high-speed. You've suceeded in telling the readers something and showing it at the same time by your choice of words and how you've joined them together. "Squeezed from the tube of insight /Ideas flare sporadic bright, is delightful and astute, as is the rest of the poem. And your almost trademark last line- always to bring the poem to its purpose. Good to see you back here, and hopefully well. Terry
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2010-01-08 22:50:21
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.33333
It is so good, my dear, to have you back and cranking. We've all missed you and your poems. I suggest changing the second line to, Like prisms of light's refractions. Sound neither effects prisms or is refracted. All else is fine. I especially like the line, "I write, to perhaps explain myself..." Yes indeed, mostly to ourselves. You have read about the contest, I presume? If not, read my submission, Please Read. JCH
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2010-01-07 10:25:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.00000
Welcome back Dellena, seems you & I had our share of medical issues over the course of the past few months. This is good, really good. Writing is the best form of self-expression to all poets, and this is clear in your poem. Each verse spells out clearly what is intended for the reader to grasp, and hold on to. Every word you've chosen boldly stands out in this piece - and I especially like the way you ended it, Simply -but a great end to a good piece. Hope you are feeling much better, blessings, Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2010-01-06 15:47:00
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
Hello Dellena, I have read your poem more than once and enjoyed it each time. The lack of punctuation works well here. You have done an excellent job of letting the line breaks word for you. Your line, "Squeezed from the tube of insight" is marvelous and charmingly different. Your last line is the frosting on the cake of a fine poem. I can offer nothing that should be changed or altered. Well done. cheyenne
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