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This Poem was Submitted By: James C. Horak On Date: 2010-10-09 02:18:52 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Abandoned

Abandoned, dropped from high twisted to the side showing wear Somehow matching minced pie half eaten with crumbs. The wait minutes of hours, days of lumbering seconds Hiding strangeness while in cradle of morose tenderness Abrupt turf traffic tying meeting places too clinically To enjoy gentle rain on the face

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2010-11-04 17:29:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
JCH, I've sort of been waiting to come up with something significant to say, or else something more than, "hey, how have you been? This is deep." But the paint might or might not dry. So . . . Hey, how have you been? This is deep, like abandoning and being abandoned. I tried. And it is deep. And I liked it. MSS

This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2010-11-01 09:05:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90909
James, I believe you've stumped me with this poem. I've read it a few times to get a feel of what the message is - and I keep coming up with "change" - as in people changing over time. If I'm wrong - forgive me - you have some unique verbiage, the poem reads well, and leans towards sadness and regrets to me. blessings Deni

This Poem was Critiqued By: kevin Dunn On Date: 2010-10-29 22:59:37
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
I was once told that "Art is never finished, only abandoned" Do I get the impression that this was "abandoned" a bit too soon? I guess I am showing my ignorance when I ask, what the hell is this collection of words all about?

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2010-10-29 16:34:25
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
James, Sounds like life is petty serious! I know at times things appear desolate and too much to bear. I feel also that way and try hard to get by it any way possible. I'm so overworked at this time, I could patience [ha!] my hold momentarily. There seems soooooo much to bear. If the rain were clean on my face, it could be gentle, but it's not! What to hold sacred? You got me going again my friend..... d

This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2010-10-22 20:59:38
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
My god I have missed your verse. I know the feelings caught. I know the need. I don't know (if you don't speak of yourself) who your charecterize, but I know you have capture me at times. More than any of that; thank you for posting. You have no idea the void here when you and MSS don't post. Thank you for the clinitians view of desire.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2010-10-17 21:57:44
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi James, It is so good to see a post from you after a very long time. I take it that you've been very busy. I liked this poem of 'abandonment' and it speaks on many levels. Back here in India, there isn't a day that goes by when a newly born baby suffers the fate of being discarded by its parents (as if it were from another world but mostly because it is a girl). I'm more inclined to look at this from the level of alien abandonement though I'm not sure if that's what you intended or if I've misread. I especially liked the line - 'Somehow matching minced pie/ half eaten with crumbs.' Hope all is well with you. Duane.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2010-10-14 19:44:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Wow, James--this is packed with emotion, frustration and has that feel of wanting to throw their hands in the air! It sometimes seems that no matter how one tries, things seem to stagnate...definitely leaves one with the feeling of abandonment wondering if anyone out their actually thinks, sees or really gives a damn. Great stuff here, much to ponder packed in a concise write of power packed verbiage....Excellent and most enjoyable read. Lora

This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2010-10-11 16:29:59
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi JCH, No doubt I shouldn't attempt a critique of this poem as I missed the mark badly on the last one of yours I critiqued. However, I am undaunted regardless! I believe this poem has a political flavor that limns the lines. Your lines....lumbering seconds & of morose tenderness...are lines I wish I had written. Especially...lumbering seconds...which is a clever and unique way of saying time stands still or how it drags on and on. I think it is your last three lines that makes me think of politics that are dragging on adnauseam until one feels like screaming...enough. I do hope I haven't fractured your wonderful poem and if that is the case I apologize. Best wishes, cheyenne

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