This Poem was Submitted By: James C. Horak On Date: 2011-02-14 07:13:57 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!

Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!

Pretty Things

We've a harbor, where treasure, where pleasure                                    abounds. Like stolen moments shared at soul passing,    feeling something leaving, something untied now. Better than a stone upon a mound, a covered vessel                          curiously shaped Like an arm draped around a loved life seeping. Where we tie a thread that stays tied, to even moving                                  bullets. Where knowing is not traded for ceremony  And Where love stays in the air...until breathed in     the next breath out smells of new rain Cap and bells, the poet's trade, the rattle of a tin cup    settle on the mind like morning dew the sun takes up The touch of a hand becomes here the warmth of winter                                                fire While cold only plays to purpose the sun will never tire.

Copyright © February 2011 James C. Horak

Additional Notes:
For your Valentine's Day, my "cap and bells".

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2011-03-06 16:29:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
JCH, I like your way of writing. Using internal rhyming or ends. Is this considered free verse or what? I'm with you for liking the style. Hope your doing well and busy as usual. always......d

This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2011-02-27 10:46:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
Hi JC, interesting poem. You always manage to instill quality to each of your poems with choice of words, imagery and a message that pulls each one together. Valentines Day is all about love, yet these few words, mounds, bullets, and stone made me hesitate in this write. I completely agree the touch of a hand becomes warmth, the emotion of love should always be warm, along with respect. As I said before an interesting write - light verses, mixed with metaphors - and an quick apology for not critiquing sooner, on your Valentine's Day poem. blessings, Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: David Keesey On Date: 2011-02-26 09:25:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.35294
This reads almost like stream of consciousness with many inside jokes or alludings. There are many lines like "Cap and bells, the poet's trade, the rattle of a tin cup," that have strong melody yet others like "Where we tie a thread that stays tied, to even moving bullets," that fall flat. I think "soul" in L3 should be possessive. Should "seeping" in L7 be "sleeping?" Many fine images. The poem ends stronger than it begins. Kindest regards.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mandie J Overocker On Date: 2011-02-19 21:13:09
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
James, What a delight to find a post of yours on my list. Your writing is beautiful, seems effortless and paints a wonderful descriptive image of the poet/artist/human soul. I love the line "Where we tie a thread that stays tied, to even moving bullets." Though I must confess I may not know your full intent upon the meaning of this line, it has much meaning to me at least here at TPL. You are a true poet my friend, and a joy to read anytime. Thanks for the pleasure! Mandie
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2011-02-16 08:30:59
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
James, so nice to see one of your poems and such a delightful poem. Full of romance and the wonders of the heart coupled with and easy smooth flow this poem gives the reader that wistful "perhaps" feeling. The gentle rhymes and alliterations make this a pleasure to read. One small suggestion: L10= drop the word "and" to the next line thus giving your enjambment a better kick...just MHO. I luxuriated in your choice of words and felt the pleasure of having this treasure of true poetry--to read. Happy Valentines to you also. Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2011-02-14 11:51:08
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi JCH, I was most pleased to see you had posted a poem and a fitting one for lovers. We've a harbor, where treasure, where pleasure.........good internal rhyme abounds. Like stolen moments shared at soul passing, feeling something leaving, something untied now.......excellent alliteration of 's' sounds Better than a stone upon a mound, a covered vessel curiously shaped...............Wish I penned these two words Like an arm draped around a loved life seeping..........a bit of melancholy here Where we tie a thread that stays tied, to even moving bullets...............what is more untied than moving bullets? Where knowing is not traded for ceremony And..........I would have dropped 'and' to the next line but Where love stays in the air...until breathed in........that's just me the next breath out smells of new rain.................beautiful line Cap and bells, the poet's trade, the rattle of a tin cup settle on the mind like morning dew the sun takes up The touch of a hand becomes here the warmth of winter fire While cold only plays to purpose the sun will never tire......this last verse is my favorite. The rhyming ..............................................................couplets work well and the word choices ..............................................................couldn't be more perfect for Valentine's day. All in all an accomplished poem. Hope you linger here awhile and grace us with more poetry. Best wishes, cheyenne
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

Click HERE to return to Database Page!