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This Poem was Submitted By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2003-11-26 12:54:35 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Missing

I miss him most on holidays and my birthday or when I eat pie I miss him mainly on Fridays but Sundays sometimes make me cry I've noticed night-times are bad because my bed always seems to grow larger I miss him in summer just a tad but winter's chill inflames my ardor I miss him when pines whisper and streams ripple or when I make pancakes I miss him at noon but more at supper the years go by but never my heartaches

Additional Notes:
Holidays are bad for the widows among us

This Poem was Critiqued By: Sandra J Kelley On Date: 2003-12-07 19:18:16
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.05556
Marilyn, this poem is very beautifully written. The details of your life and the moments when you most miss your husband are very touching. I like how you touch sound as well as sight in your poem and appeal to multiple senses. When I eat pie is my favorite line just because it seems like such an innocent thing to do but you have made it poigent and loaded with memory. Nice job with this one. Sandra

This Poem was Critiqued By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2003-12-07 17:26:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.72727
Hi Marilyn, Again, I see you as the “Weeping Widow” and again, I can feel the long burden you are carrying through this time. Though I enjoy again your use of adjectives and words to fill this poem, I can feel the real depths of it. You just know how to balance your poem, both entertaining and inspiring. You provide us with amusement but with profundity. The use of “tad” and “ardor” are clever yet suitable! We understand your truthful feelings Marilyn, and our hearts is with you. Thanks for choosing and trusting TPL as your gateway to reveal and release your sentiments. May our critiques and remarks console and comforts your fragility in this matter. Good day with you Marilyn! I would just like to drop by and say how inspiring and honest your words here! I really appreciate it! :) As always, Erzahl :)

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2003-12-03 15:07:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.94444
Dear Marilyn: This is such a personal poem of loss. Your conversational language makes the poem's impact even greater. Holidays are hardest for me, too. I don't think we ever 'get over' the loss of a beloved spouse, child, or parent, but merely get used to the anguish. Your detailing of the everyday things missed most and the lasting heartache makes this a deeply moving and poignant work. "Sundays sometimes make me cry" The line above could be a song title or an alternate poem title. I smiled at the rhyme of "pie/cry" because it is for such ordinary things that we yearn most. Probably you baked wonderful pies which he enjoyed and you recall his pleasure and appreciation of your baking. After my son's death, a friend brought over a pan of lasagna, and I surprised her by bursting into tears. That had been his favorite meal, along with garlic bread. I've noticed night-times are bad because my bed always seems to grow larger I miss him in summer just a tad but winter's chill inflames my ardor I love the slant rhyme of "larger/ardor" and feel the contrast of "chill/inflames" adds greatly to the intensity of this piece. It is clear that it is heartfelt. I recogize the irony of "just a tad" because, of course, you must miss him enormously all of the time. But those times of cozy snuggling under warm covers were especially intimate. Our bodies remember the physical presence of the lost loved one, and especially with the changes of season, I believe. I miss him when pines whisper and streams ripple or when I make pancakes I miss him at noon but more at supper the years go by but never my heartaches You've got me crying again, Marilyn. What has helped me some, with my own losses, is believing God can shine through the opening, the ragged hole in a heart ripped open by death. It is this grace which shines in your poem. Another title might be "When Pines Whisper." Somehow, I wanted a more glorious title for this splendid poem. However, it is perfect 'as is' for it reaches into the reader's heart with its honesty and sorrow. May God continue to bless and heal your pain. All my best, Joanne

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2003-11-30 21:03:37
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.63333
Dear Marilyn, Today in my bible study class, we said a prayer for all widows and anyone in mourning during the holidays. It's such a hard time of year to be alone. I lost my Mom 6 years ago the week after Christmas and I always miss her most at Christmas time. What a bittersweet sentiment you have here with "Missing" and what an apt title for this one. The structure is pleasant with three stanzas of the A/C, B/D rhyme scheme. The repetition of "I miss him" gives this reader a very good picture of what your thoughts are. You pretty much miss him every day, all day long, and all night too from what I can tell. This is a beautiful thought:"I miss him when pines whisper and streams ripple" You honor his memory with this poem and with all the ways you keep him in your memory. The hardest thing would actually be if you ever did forget him. I'll include you in my prayers during the holiday season. Blessings, Jennifer

This Poem was Critiqued By: Sherri L Smith On Date: 2003-11-27 22:10:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.75000
Dear Marilyn, My heart aches for you. I recognize the pain that you feel. I haven't had this experience yet, and I hope not for a long long time. My Steve is the best of the best, I want another 10 or 20 years with him. 10 years is not enough. Bless you Marilyn during this holiday time, and I will keep you in my prayers. Sherri

This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2003-11-27 11:24:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.56250
Marilyn--Apt title with bittersweet descriptors. Without the help of additional notes or a profile, this poem is a straight forward open textbook of a longing for a departed loved one. The stating by the plain language, simple tasks, and everyday activities are succinctly put (realism). Most of the end rhymes for your alternating lines are rather interesting and quite conviencent(pie/cry, larger/ardor, whisper/supper, pancakes/heartaches); and still hold true to the theme of their preceeding verbiage (great recognition that "true or end" rhymes are really not based on spellings, but sounds-kudos). A melancholy piece written from the heart; timely presented for this part of the year and a very nice read. Thanks for sharing such a personal account with TPLers. TLW

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2003-11-27 04:41:44
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.76923
Oh, Marilyn, I can feel your sadness! Without this poem, I wouldn't know your state in life. But please don't be so sad, have other people (your children, relatives, friends) replenish the miss you have with your late husband. I don't know what happened to his disappearance on you, but I could feel how important he is and how he planted unforgettable memories on you. Anyway, so much of the emotions here (SMILE), your poem is simply effective to carry out the atmosphere, the tone and purpose. The humongous emotion is enough to be brought out in three stanza, thus laconically written. The application of a nice rhyming pattern is signifant to alleviate the sad emotion. It is appreciated most because I can see no restraint in expressing your emotions. It simply flows with ease and freedom. I can surely see your intimate relationship with your husband as his presence is rememered when eat a pie. Maybe, before you shared the pie sweetly. I can visualize a picture you and your husband having good times eating pie (SMILE). I can see a poetic device you used here "my bed always seems to grow larger" --it appears to me as an idiomatic expression which is an appropriate highlight for the emotion to be vividly felt. The ending is quite moving. It satisfatorily tell to the readers the emotion you want to share. Thank you so much for sharing with us, I hope you somehow alleviated with your sad feelings as you shared this poem to TPL. Hope the good memories of your husband would haunt you this Holiday and would make you feel not the sadness but a feeling of acceptance and release that would make you smile. Jordan.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne Duval Morgan On Date: 2003-11-26 16:57:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Marlyn, Really like how you incorporated the rhyme, it all reads so smoothly. Yes, missed all the time, no particular day or circumstance, miss one the smallest words can can speak columns.. Your certainly touched my heart, made me hold my breath as I easily identified with the movement this poem created, miss him, yes, yes, yes. Could use the soft stroking hand over my shoulder and arms, just that hug that let me know he was there. The Holidays are always difficult, my companion of inner secretas, not even spoken but felt,this poem more then asaquately speaks for me. Wish I could type more, but ity's like hot pokers being shoved into the should and arm to try and continue. This widow thanks you for saying how much, every minute of our existence was based on our foundation, and that is gone, and at times can really make a person pretty morose, and sad, it would be a much happier existence with him here. Wonderful soft spoken, truthly and simply stated. Have the Happiwat Thanksgiving ever, sourround yourself if glorious memories and you will feel his arms arounf you.....Love, Jo Morgan

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2003-11-26 16:21:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.54000
Death has a way of stealing our hearts and for some unknown reason when you have loved the best you do not fill that void left when he or she departs.......Holidays are for most a time of the year when family shared the traditional family dinners, gift giving, hugs , kisses and the best part of being together.....when your life's partner is no longer here to share those times with you indeed the pain comes to full surface view........ You list so many times of the year when you miss your dear husband, your irthday, holidays, Sunday or Friday......memories bring him to life whenever you want him to be there with you.....take those early morning walks holding hands you strolled through the woods, stopping now and then to perhaps gaze into each others eyes, a hug, a smile, a gentle kiss,..all present in that early morning walk and now, only a memory.....still my friend, those memories are there to hold onto, to cherish, to bring to life when and only when you want them.....so this Thanksgiving Day, when your heart yearns to be with that man of yours, take a walk outside before any guests arrive or if you are invited out, before you have to leave home, don't be afraid to talk with him either for he will be there by your side, he will allow you to feel his presence in the form he presently is and your heart will warmth knowing he is there with you......God is love, His love is the entension you will feel when you feel the presence of your husband for he too is in heaven watching over you.....he feels your pain, your sorrow and your tears as they fall and I know in my heart he wants you to put the pain, sorrow and tears aside......he does not want you to ever forget him for you shared a most beautiful love.......and you know at times it might not have been smooth sailing though you always weathered those storms and saw the sunlight fade as it set in the evening sun....... I felt your pain my friend as I read your lines.....I thought you structured it well, your words did rhyme and bring forth images that have created in my heart the above gift to you.........life is a gift, death is a journey we travel by ourself........but they do go together in keeping your spirits alive, together, for eternity. Be safe, thank you for posting and sharing your emotions with us......you are in my prayers and I look forward to more of your work.....God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2003-11-26 16:09:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.77778
Holiday Cheer: A new Widow Washer Kit is now available at WWK.com. Attach to your garden hose, fill the little bottle with the solution in the box, and spray them 'til they shine. No wiping necessary. Sorta like those new diapers, only better. Seriously, your poem is poignant, and moving. Keep your chin up, and keep these comin' !! Happy Holidaze.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Gerard A Geiger On Date: 2003-11-26 16:00:10
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.57143
Dear Marilyn; A beautiful and sentimental ode to the daily loss of attentions needs and sharing experienced through missing a soul mate. Sad and Poignant...I especially like the reference in: I miss him when pines whisper and streams ripple or when I make pancakes. Know that he hears you through this wonderful poem, Marilyn, and Thanks for sharing these heartfelt feelings. It is a beautiful work. Gerard

This Poem was Critiqued By: Elaine Marie Phalen On Date: 2003-11-26 14:25:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Marilyn, This expresses very simply and clearly the loneliness of the bereaved. Your use of specific scenes and occasions is effective because it pinpoints the moment of greatest grief. To some extent the mourning becomes, I think, partly a seasonal sorrow triggered by special events that once were shared with the loved one. The changes that continually occur in Nature also serve as reminders. Favourite foods - pie, pancakes - awaken fresh memories. One can accept such a loss, over time, but it keeps recurring and will never entirely ease. This is a loving tribute to what was obviously a special and strong relationship. I know that you get hit with the double-whammy of Thanksgiving and Christmas, close together. That must be especially rough! (Our Canadian T'giving is long past). May you find joy in friends, family and the renewing grace of this new and holy season. Take Care, Brenda

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