This Poem was Submitted By: Andrea M. Taylor On Date: 2004-04-06 22:19:27 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Passion's Pardon

outstretched arms of love gave beyond humanity Saving sorrowed souls

Copyright © April 2004 Andrea M. Taylor

Additional Notes:
There is enough blame to go around for all of us. I put down my rock awhile ago, but I am guilty of carrying pebbles.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Sherri L Smith On Date: 2004-05-02 16:15:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.73684
Dear Andrea, You touched on the very thing that I hoped people would remember. We can't blame all Jews for what happened in the past, just as we cannot blame all Germans for what Hitler did. We are never without our own blame in the scheme of things. This one touched me, and I am sure that it will many others as well. Sherri S

This Poem was Critiqued By: Sherri L. West On Date: 2004-04-12 13:38:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Andrea, In this piece, you have very succinctly stated the whole truth. You do not identify whose souls are "sorrowed" and by that omission, hopefully, all readers can understand that salvation is intended for all who "believe and receive." I especially like the phrase "gave beyond humanity" because, certainly, Jesus' sacrifice is totally beyond our capability and comprehension. Thank you for this very thought provoking offering. Blessings, Sherri
This Poem was Critiqued By: G. Donald Cribbs On Date: 2004-04-11 22:42:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
This haiku is such a picture to me. I admit I'm influenced by the word "passion" in the title...nowadays I'm seeing that as an allusion to Gibson's "Passion of the Christ." If you've seen the movie, you'll get this more deeply, and so as not to give away a plot point, I'll be purposely vague: There is a scene which is in flashback, referencing the woman who was about to be stoned and Jesus bent down and wrote in the dirt. No one knows what he wrote, but it led the people to drop their stones and not stone the woman. Jesus said, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." To the woman, he said, "Woman, has no one condemned you this day? Then neither do I condemn you." I hope I am not presuming to think this is the correlation and parallel you wish the reader to make? The tension in the word "outstretched" is in seeing beyond an invitation for a hug or embrace, but seeing Christ on the cross, crucified, arm pulled out of socket. Now, that's love. "Beyond humanity" correlates to the conquering of sin and death as Jesus spent the days he was dead in hell, defeating his enemies (Satan, Death, Sin). The last line holds a lot of weight for me. Yes, he saved us all, he took all our sin, even the sins of those who did not and will not accept his free gift of salvation. The aliteration is nice here, the 's' sound is appropriate, smacks of satan, sin, salvation, seeking, and all the words which are magnetically linked to the few words you use here. Very profound. Thank you for sharing it with us. Warm regards, Don
This Poem was Critiqued By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2004-04-10 05:19:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Andrea, Capturing that moment of the “Cross” is what I see here. Very clear and imaginative! The message “outstretched” beyond that moment and goes beyond to our faith and mission on the call. “outstretched arms of love” --- I can see the suffering of Christ outstretched from his left to right hands that symbolizes His unconditional love. gave beyond humanity --- The scope of love is incomparable! Beyond “beyond”, beyond any given time! Saving sorrowed souls --- At first, I enjoyed the alliteration “S”. But the depth of this line is touching…touching the very heart of every Christian who experienced that joy from the Lord. And hope to touch those “sorrowed souls”. Amen! Thanks for this wonderful message! As always, Erzahl :)
This Poem was Critiqued By: Marcia McCaslin On Date: 2004-04-09 22:40:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Well, Andrea, you know me--I love the title aspect--(it actually works like a fourth line, doesn't it, letting the reader in on just a little more information. I am sitting here, studying this, and realize you actually have 2 poems--one in haiku and one free verse about the rock and the pebbles. Interesting that you see yourself as carrying pebbles. I can go either way on this--I think I do or have tended to carry pebbles, as though it's a lesser sin, but of course it's the thought in the heart that counts anyway--pebbles? bullets? hate? I see myself in your additional notes but honestly feel that I have let the pebbles go because they were--well, you know what they do. Saving sorrowed souls in a lovely singing line, perhaps with minor chords. I do wonder why there are little letters on outstretched--gave--but a captal S on saving. Is this a subconscious yearning on our parts to accentuate the Saving aspect? Sorrowed souls we are--but joy lives within the same walls as sorrow, I've found. I guess if you live long enough, you finally get something through your head. Anyway, Andrea--a poignant expression for this Holy time of year. I thank you for posting! Marcia Hi Andrea--this is weird--I just did a whole critique--pressed something and it's gone. It's always hard to re-cap with exactly the same thought processes but am going to try. I had said that there are actually 2 poems/expressions here--both equally interesting--the haiku that is poignant and thought-provoking, very timely for this holy time of year--and the additional notes--which tells us volumes itself! We're all guilty in our way of carrying pebbles--but I have found that they are a tremendous burden that my physical body cannot endure. Are they "little sins" that we think are ok? My body told me no--let them go. My body told me, if you don't let them go, I will get very very sick. Well, I learn everything the hard way--but sometimes a pebble works its way into my pocket anyway and I have to consciously drop it and leave it behind. But then that's me. I had wondered why this powerful, alliterate sentiment has a small letter on the 1st and 2nd lines, but has a capital S on the 3rd? Is it because Saving sorrowed souls IS the power at the ending and cries to be noticed? It intrigues me that perhaps it was subconscious. It is the Saving that I cling to always and even though this is a wrenchingly sad theme, joy weaves its way throughout, like the sunrise at Easter and the joy of the Resurrection. Now that's hard to capture in 3 lines but you have done it--I guess it's because of the sunrise weaving itself through and between the lines. My best to you, Marcia
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2004-04-08 12:39:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 6.00000
Pebbles can hurt too
This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2004-04-07 12:45:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Andrea--Your Senryu has captured the entire essence of the Gospel's Passion: such profound and poignant insights in a simple, direct and compact verbiage; all produced in 17 syllables-incredible! This stupendous effort needs to receive the widest possible dissemination. Forgive any misstatement on my part for your intentions. TLW
This Poem was Critiqued By: Wayne R. Leach On Date: 2004-04-07 11:43:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.85714
Andrea, A sensitive and definitive senryu. I'd like a little more transition at the end of L1 or L2, usually required of this form. Also, I would question the one capital "S", if only to discover the reasoning. Could it be that this "Saving" actually refers to the Almighty? If so, then it doesn't really fit for it appears to have a gerund-like use here, modifying the "arms of love". Maybe a little more hesitation after L2 with a hyphen or ellipsis? An interesting submission, and I hope not to be a discouraging voice. Write on in peace. wl
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