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This Poem was Submitted By: Lynda G Smith On Date: 2004-08-23 18:44:16 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Wading with the muse

I’m addicted to this high that floats my mind upon a sea of soul. I wade through thoughts in hypnotizing ripples finding echo in my blood to flood some crazed theme in schemes none can suspect. For I alone within this mara-thought of muse rue and fear what’s left behind upon the dock of deference, reference to what’s framed and stored, unused abused and lost forever. Give me pain, that driving fuel, that feeds and seeds the power of creation. Draw me, paint me, sing me, write me, send me skimming over waves to dip my staves in passions’ water. For all the agony of apprehension inspired invention of the image the song, the writ, will buoy me to the next.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2004-08-30 13:23:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.83871
Lynda–You and I, as well as other fellow poets have our own passions/reasons for writing poetry. Yours are relevantly displayed in these precepts which indi- cates a reserve of imagination and insight. A fresh combination of nonliteral words/phrases and rimes (blood/flood; theme/ schemes; deference/reference; unused/abused; feeds/seeds; waves/staves; apprehension/inventiion) serves quite well to showcase your motives/inspiration for what comes from your mind and pen. The same language also create vivid imagery and produces rhythmic tones. My favorite of all the colorful descriptive verbiage is, “Draw me, paint me, sing me, write me, send me skimming over waves to dip my staves in passions’ water.” This bit, in my humble opinion, is the absolute crowning of “Wading with the muse” and is exquisitely stated. And, after all that, I still have a very, very small nit: placement/arrangement of this into some type of strophes/stanzas would allow for a less jumbled (easier) flow/read.This small criticism does not however, distract from a superb offering. TLW

This Poem was Critiqued By: Wayne R. Leach On Date: 2004-08-27 19:47:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.88000
Lynda, a very interesting read, almost syncopated with those interior rhymes following the end rhymes (call it enjambment - or clever):>). Unusual, but effeective imagery in places. I like that, too. I see a lot of consonance, assonance and alliteration used which shows the skills you possess. I suggest nothing at all for changes - for none are necessary IMHO. I liked the central portion of: ".... Give me pain, that driving fuel, that feeds and seeds the power of creation. ..." - and - the plural "passions' water." was ever so effective. Very nice work. Best wishes, and kudos. wrl

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jana Buck Hanks On Date: 2004-08-25 10:29:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Lynda, I want to tell you that this poem is beautiful and the message is so close to my heart. The rhyme scheme is such that it will make a fantastic song lyric...think about that! I think the enjambment works even though you have not pulled this apart into stanzas, it still flows pulling the reader down the page. Your diction is perfect for this piece. I love all of this poem but I think the following is my favorite section: Draw me, paint me, sing me, write me, send me skimming over waves to dip my staves in passions’ water......this I see as the artist's calling the muse Bright Blessings Jana

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2004-08-24 13:08:32
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Lynda: This is the second 'ars poetica' I've read this month, and it fills a hunger. You artfully write of what takes place within you and that sparks something in me, feeds my hunger for inspiration to write, points out how alone each of us is with our own creative processes. Better than any writing workshop, because nothing here distracts me from absorbing your words, marveling at your lyrical poetics. This is a poem, as Rick Barnes might say (would say) that "just IS!" The IS-ness of this poem possesses me as a reader in a way that I will carry with me all day. If I write a poem today, you deserve credit for stirring the fires within. But to specifics. . . I love the way you have formatted the piece, flowing down the page without separating into stanzas. The first line seems like a confessional, and what reader wouldn't be drawn in to find out what the speaker's 'addiction' is? And it is a holy addiction, that floats her mind "upon a sea of soul." I can't go further with this without telling you that I am "high" with you -- elated for your expression of one of the core pleasures of my own life. But the "sea of soul" is exquisite, and I want to stop and float my mind in it for a while before going on. Oh "to flood some crazed theme" - Yes! You continue with the sea metaphor: I wade through thoughts in hypnotizing ripples finding echo in my blood to flood some crazed theme in schemes none can suspect. For I alone within this mara-thought of muse rue and fear what’s left behind upon the dock of deference, reference to what’s framed and stored, unused abused and lost forever. "Blood" and "flood" and "mara-thought" inflame and cool, provide the contrasting images of flow. "mara-thought" -- a root word for sea combined with thought -- brilliant, fresh, original, say I. Give me pain, that driving fuel, that feeds and seeds the power of creation. Draw me, paint me, sing me, write me, ---WONDERFUL! send me skimming over waves to dip my staves in passions’ water.--the rhyme of "waves/staves" is thrilling For all the agony of apprehension --you show how very 'worth it' all experience is inspired invention of the image the song, the writ, will buoy me to the next. I *love* it! Without doubt, this belongs with the winners, and it goes, now onto my voting list. My only complaint, quite honestly, is that I didn't write it. :>) That being said, what a lucky reader I am to have found it, because you've given me some high-octane "driving fuel" -- that gold for aspiring poets. Brava, brava, brava! This one is a 'keeper'! My best, always Joanne

This Poem was Critiqued By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2004-08-24 11:09:21
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.92857
a passionately writen poem, That for me at least flowed off the brain very well. My fav lines: send me skimming over waves to dip my staves in passions’ water Thanks for letting me read it.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2004-08-23 22:34:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
I think this is more than wading with the muse – I think it is it is diving right in! Olympic diving at that! I’m addicted to this high that floats my mind upon a sea of soul. “sea of soul” amazing turn of phrase I wade through thoughts in hypnotizing ripples finding echo in my blood to flood some crazed theme Love the way you sustain that metaphor of sea movements in schemes none can suspect. For I alone within this mara-thought of muse [not sure what that word }mara=thought means] is it cognate with marathon? It is neologism =a sort of a city-state of mind rue and fear what’s left behind upon the dock of deference, [love it] reference to what’s framed and stored, unused abused and lost forever. Give me pain, that driving fuel, that feeds and seeds the power of creation. Indeed = the muscle soreness of creation and creativity! Draw me, paint me, sing me, write me, send me skimming over waves to dip my staves in passions’ water. [I think either passion’s water or [passions’ waters] for this amazing section For all the agony of apprehension inspired invention of the image the song, the writ, will buoy me to the next. Excellent ending which brings home the sea metaphor with a resounding radiant splash! Brava Lynda

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