This Poem was Submitted By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2003-12-25 20:38:11 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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japanese verse 35 (Manger)

In that borrowed crib God offered His precious gift Wrapped in swaddling clothes

Copyright © December 2003 Erzahl Leo M. Espino

Additional Notes:
Jesus - God's love and humbleness revealed. Merry Christmas to all! Peace!

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2004-01-05 10:49:17
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.57895
Lovely in sentiment - perfect in count. Unusual subject for a "Japanese" verse - but that is what makes it extraordinary. Happy New year Ezrahl

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2004-01-02 04:04:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Erzahl, This is The Truth! Your japanese verse simply tells about the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ which is so pitiful because He was only born in a borrowed crib. This can bring tears to the readers eye. The birth of our Lord Jesus Christ is really a mysterious one. Who can imagine that a King is born in a manger? But it is simply the truth. God is undeniably humble, He offered His precious gift wrapped in swaddling clothes. The adjective you used here is indisputably appropriate! I just spent my Christmas in our province. Thank you for giving me the totality of the spirit of Christmas through your poem. Jordan
This Poem was Critiqued By: Irene E Fraley On Date: 2003-12-27 19:36:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.56250
Oh Thank You Erzahl! This is beautiful and just what it should be. Don't change an atom of it! It isn't often here that a poem brings tears of gratitude to my eyes, but your haiku managed to do it. The simplicity of your verse says so much in such a little space, but then again, your subject holds so much in such a little body. I think He would be pleased with this offering, Blessed Christmas to you. Irene Fraley
This Poem was Critiqued By: Sherri L Smith On Date: 2003-12-27 11:38:04
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.54545
Dear Erzahl, This is another wonderful example of the wonderful work you do in haiku. You inspired me and when I wrote the one and only one, it seemed to flow from my pen without any effort! This is a wonderful tribute to the season and for the greatest gift of all, God's son. Your imagery is wonderful, keep up the good work! Happy New Year. Sherri
This Poem was Critiqued By: Darlene A Moore On Date: 2003-12-27 02:09:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Thank you Erzahl for your succinct Christmas message. So few words, so much meaning contained in measured syllables.
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2003-12-26 19:43:23
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.69231
Hi Erzahl, This haiku is so beautiful in its simplicity that I have read it several times just to drink in the words and their message. I love "borrowed crib" I have never heard the 'crib' described as borrowed... but of course it was and the word borrowed explaines in one word how poor Mary and Joseph were. Not able to sleep or give birth in the Inn they did the only thing they could for the birth of their beloved Son. "Wrapped in swaddling clothes" was all they had but the clothes they wrapped their Son in, not only covered Him literely but they also wrapped him with their love. All your writings are wonderful in content but this one just grabs this readers heart. It isn't fancy nor does it use complicated is just simple in it's beauty which, after all, is the essence of our Lord. Thank you for giving us this lovely reminder of the Lord Jesus' birth. So much of the time we get so caught up with buying gifts for our loved ones we forget the real reason why we are doing it. Peace...Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2003-12-26 15:37:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.55556
That is a perfect Haiku. Never have I seen one better. continue to amaze me. The title is perfect, and the story does not cause me to wonder..."huh?" Thanks, and have a happy season forthcoming.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2003-12-26 14:05:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.83333
Erzahl--In these
words you've retold the greatest birth story ever! No other title would have work quite as well as this one. As always your technicals are impeccable. This piece is more than timely, it's easily the essence of our salvation and the main theme for our Xmas celebrations (although lost in the commericalism of the season). Your descriptors creates imagery that defies the simplicity with which they are written: what if there had been room in the Inn? what if Mary had more time before the delivery? what if the couple had not been traveling? what if there had been relatives in town? No, there is no other way for this event to have taken place. This birth was meant to take place exactly the way you stated! As usual you've taken this art form and bent it to do your will. I along with all the other TPlers keep marveling at your ability to continue to produce works at this level with such consistency. Thanks for sharing this profound piece. TLW
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2003-12-26 11:10:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.94444
Merry Christmas, Ezrahl! What a lovely Christmas Verse you have here. It's also very thought provoking. When you think about the humble beginnings of Jesus,from the borrowed manger, right down to the geneology, it is impressive to realize that when God planned our gift of salvation, He made Jesus fully God and fully Man. Just His lineage alone illustrates that anyone, no matter what they have done can gain forgiveness and salvation. There in His geneology is the blood of many people, from a king, to an adulterer and adultress, to a prostitute, to someone who committed incest, to a virgin.......All these people were able to be forgiven for their sins and to shine the Glory of God. Amazing stuff! In that borrowed crib God offered His precious gift Wrapped in swaddling clothes At first I was not sure that "Manger" is the right title for this. Even the first line seems more about 'who' was in the manger. I thought "Savior" or "Messiah" might be more fitting. Never-the-less, this piece shows us the humble way this gift was offered. The most preious gift ever given, had a gift wrap of swaddling cloth and was boxed in a borrowed manger. Then I realized that your emphasis is actually on the fact of the humble beginning and therefore the manger is the subject. Thanks for the reflections. Blessings, Jennifer container.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2003-12-26 06:59:37
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.78723
Such a timely and prescious gift of your Haiku this morning as I opened my computer to find God's most prescious gift, indeed His only son, Jesus.....born in that manger so many many years ago, borrowed from the animals and wrapped in swadling clothes...and though His birth was so pure and humble He is the King of the world and if you watched the night sky you saw the brilliant star that shined that night, bringing the three wise men forth to give honor to the newborn King.......great form, nice piece my friend and indeed I hope your holiday was wonderful as well and filled with the Spirit of safe, God Bless, Claire
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