This Poem was Submitted By: Kenneth R. Patton On Date: 2005-01-30 08:04:59 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!

Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!

My Hero

My hero Got all the girls He didn’t even have to try   Two years older And smooth With those Clint Eastwood eyes   I watched With furious envy Through long adolescent years   Never seeing in my jealousy His own Subterranean fears

Copyright © January 2005 Kenneth R. Patton

Additional Notes:
Just some sibling rivalry musings.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2005-02-07 23:39:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
I like this poem Kenneth, for a lot of reasons. And although I understand that you're just reminiscing on some old sibling rivalry, you make a valid illustration with this poem. The title MY HERO may suggest that this was your older brother, and what follows is a rather cute and sincere poetic piece that details the relationship between brothers, or at least what one thought of the other. I like that you don't make this a complicated poem. You keep it light and simple, which I think is great for the time in history that it deals with like "when we were younger." My hero Got all the girls He didn’t even have to try (This usually happens with both brothers and sisters. For some reason, everybody always thinks one is better than the other, for whatever reasons (cuter, smarter, more athletic, more sexy, has a car, can dance, whatever. I have two sons, and already people are picking one over the other. They're only 5 and 6, and it drives me crazy) Two years older And smooth With those Clint Eastwood eyes (See, even you thought he was smooth . . . smile, and that's a great thing. That's why he's your hero. Sometimes in these kinds of relationships, the other sibling can be so bitter, envious or jealous that he/she can't even acknowledge the great characteristics about the other sibling. But you can, and that's how the reader is able to pick up on your sincere feelings and love for your sibling. We know the extent of the poem, and we can see that this is just a thought worth mentioning in a poem, not worth going crazy over. But I do think it's very important that you write about it, for all those people who don't handle this sort of thing so well. And believe me, there are many people who don't handle this well.) I watched With furious envy Through long adolescent years (You say that you were envious, but that was then, and this is now. Perhaps writing this poem about it seals the memory for what it is, just a memory). Never seeing in my jealousy His own Subterranean fears (I thought this was a flavorful twist in the end. I love it. People always think the grass is greener on the other side, and it never really is. In actuality, we all have to be who we are. Being someone else always looks attractive, but it never really is .Because we simply have to be who we are destined to be). Your poem brings all of these notions of self identity out for me. Sibling rivalry can kill a sibling relationship, and I think the worst thing is when it goes untalked about. Communication is the key to it all, even if it's through poetry. Thanks for sharing. I like this one, and I enjoyed reading it. Latorial

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2005-02-04 19:49:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.69231
Kenneth, We always think it's better for the other. Cause it's not like that for me. So somethings wrong with me...... In youth we have pictures of what 'life' should be. And life never measures up. I was pretty cute in my youth and never knew it. From my perspective it was very tough going! It wasn't like the movies. Now I know different. One looking on would think I had the world by the tail. As you did......but now you've grown up! [that's good and bad!] Course we all need heroes to mimick. Good job. Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne Duval Morgan On Date: 2005-02-02 10:22:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.96429
stated from a first person point of view, contains all the elements of emotion upheaval, stated simply and factually, in fact probably universal in it's application, as it related to sibling rivaly. It may be stated from musings however it affected the course of life for the individual. Who prabably tried harder to suceed and supass the older brother. Yes, love not hate, but confusion as to why. I can speak to this being the third child out of five, and having an older sister who was treated like a Little princess (not only oldest child in the immediate family, but oldest child in the family period). It seems that regardless of how hard I tried I never achieved that lofty goal. In my own right I was very sucessful, but my path was completely different, for I felt I always had to prove myself. So you see there is a universal application for all reader, and no doubt paths were choosen just to achieve the same kind of attention, never felt that I did it thought, and at 67 she still thinks of herself as the Little Princess, ha ha, no doubt envy, but honestly I wouldn't have wanted her role, I because independent, and realized if it were to get done I'd hae to do it myself, and I did that's why there are no regrets, and one can muse, but the facts are the facts, and you did a great job at rojecting the hurt, the envy and sometimes pain associated with sibling rivalry. Simply written, hones, motional feeling, and lots of sensation., Jo Morgan
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jane A Day On Date: 2005-01-31 11:29:59
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Ken, As always, I enjoy the honesty of your poems. I would love just a little more imagery insteady of long adolecent years. Could you show this? You paint a great precise picture of your brother and the idea of subterranan fears is great as well. I'd love to see some of these fears for more insight. Thanks as always! Jane
This Poem was Critiqued By: Kelly Denise LaBeff On Date: 2005-01-31 06:33:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.96296
Poet Patton, I know exactly what you mean when you talk about sibling rivalry! Been there, done that! Hated it! I never thought about writing a verse about it though, so, kuddooosss to you! BUT, But here's what amazes me: subterranean fears, really? You think? Honestly, they had their hang-ups, too? Do you really mean it? Dang it, I wasn't privy to this knowledge! AND oh how I wish I had have known! It would have definitely made my life easier! It was my sister! Just like with your brother- we were of the same gender - she was two years youngers than me! Beautiful, tall, long straight hair, legs up the yahoo ,,, you name it! The boys all got silly around her, but me, well, they wanted me to do...augh... like....their homework! Yeah! I was like a bookworm, super smart, short, curly gross curly hair with freckles! My dad made our sibling rivalry worse though because at our house you had to be a certain age before you could wear make-up, shave your legs, things like that....well, guess who got to start everything when I did even though she was two years younger? Yep! She did! See she really did get it all! Your verse is written so well, you said so much using little effort,,that's an exhibit of great talent! The imagery you created was very effective and the feelings you felt were evoked within me, your reader! So, that's another poetic plus! The icing on the cake, however, is your ending whereas with great style, ease and clever cunning wit you used the ole switch-a-twist-a-roo and proved a point, which is defined as is a fine art within the guidelines of poetic craftiness! I thoroughly enjoyed this reading and it's on my list to things to check later......ya know,,,great one, loved it, thanks for sharing! KELLY
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2005-01-30 18:06:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.89474
Hi Ken, Without your additional note I would have not guessed this was your brother...but then I read it again and it is very clear. I raised two boys and I know the younger of the two was always in awe of his brother...for whatever reason as they are so different from each other...maybe that is why they were so much fun to raise. I think the 3rd stanza is my favorite..if I had to pick one....'I watched with furious envy, through long adolescent years'...but he never got it then..does he now? I was raised an only child and my passion was for a sibling...I always envied my friends with brothers and sisters and I think I still do. I had three children and when they would fight with each other I almost couldn't stand it...not the noise so much but didn't know why they were always bickering. I asked them about that and they just looked stunned like I had come from anoher planet. Their expressions told the me the reason... ...don't all kids fight among themselves? I think they were in their late teens when it dawned on them that I never fought with anyone as there was no one....and I sure didn't want to talk back to my parents! Glad you posted this one...gave me a walk down memory lane...or can you tell that? Peace....Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-01-30 15:50:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.82000
Hi Ken....can't imagine you jealous of your brother with those Clint Eastwood eyes.....even at his age today he is nice to look at and yes, his eyes still talk....hehehe.....interesting food you have placed before us, male or female we all tend to have and share in sibling rivalry......My Hero.....good title, lets us know you do care allot for your brother and he most likely for you as well.......perhaps it was easy for him to attract the girls but friend many girls use the younger brother to get to the older man....hehehe.....thanks for posting , good structure, word flow and images that your pen is creating in all of us.......God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-01-30 15:42:44
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
I'd have chosen Paul Newman's eyes...As an adversary (or rival as you put it) I certainly wouldn't have chosen the title you did...but hey, it's your poem. I like the style of three lines which meld into the next stanza. Well done. Good rhymne and not forced. Did you ever get the girl? Thanks for posting.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2005-01-30 12:32:44
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.97436
My Hero – I wonder if the line between hero/anti-hero is as thin as the line between comedy/tragedy, I wonder. Title caught me, kept me!! My hero – Of course, always gets all the girls… oh you said that,… Two years older – Of course, always a little older… oh you said that,… With those Clint Eastwood eyes – Of course, never mind, the eyes too, do you want to punch him out, or shall I? I watched With furious envy Through long adolescent years – This is an odd transition, there was a time when adolescence seemed it would never end, now I long for those days of waiting, while waiting for an end I don’t relish. Really liked “furious envy”. Powerful. Never seeing in my jealousy – Wisdom comes via inculcation, wish it was quicker. His own Subterranean fears (Excellent analogy, wish I’d though of it!!) Ken, this is as common a poem, as story, and as powerful a view of you, and me, and the majority of folk who seldom tasted the “rights of the beautiful people”, which, when I began counseling, I found out, were far more filled with “fear” than the rest. You wrote an insightful poem, I made a little fun, I hope it wasn’t offensive to you. A Great verse.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2005-01-30 10:59:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.85714
Kenneth--How goes It? Really nice to see a post from you. Identified with this right away. One point five years separate my brother and I (I'm the oldest). He was scholastic,I was athletic and we both had many girls (popular leader(s) in our own groups). According to history, parents siblings, sociologists and psychologists this rivalry is normal, expected, helpful, and can be healthy (if not taken to extremes). And, from what you relate in this piece nothing really dangerous/harmful transpired between you two. I get a sense/tone of a redeeming for protagonist and also a catharsis. Sorry if I misstated your intentions. How- ever, thanks for causing this reader to revisit some bittersweet days and melan- cholic times. TLW
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

Click HERE to return to Database Page!