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This Poem was Submitted By: Edwin John Krizek On Date: 2005-03-15 21:26:02 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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HOPE

Happy to see the sun again, I dance in the morning air screaming out that life is good. Only the gulls hear me. My anger is directed at the wraiths who find only sorrow in the world. Despair’s seductive song calls to me. Yet, I hear another voice. Her beauty silences this empty enchantress. Her promise sends me running headlong into the day.

This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-04-02 14:58:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.33333
Oh yes. Sounds like you live on my West Coast...where it rains throughout Dec., Jan. and Feb.Stops for awhile, then resumes in torrents in April. We are just coming out of it now. I do live in a true rain forest 100 meters from the ocean. Yes there is a lot of sorrow in the world to get angry at, and rightfully so...however we must take time to smell the flowers. I would love to run headlong into the day, but ouch, my arthritic hip~The title fits very well, and the poem flows easily to make good reading. Thank you.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2005-03-18 11:09:38
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.56250
Edwin--Great mixture/combination of personification/nonliteral expressions create vivid imagery; "Despair's seductive song calls to me. Yet, I hear another voice. Her beauty silences this empty enchantress. Her promise sends me running headlong into the day." Excellent line breaks enhances this enlightening, lyrical and well presented rebuffing of negative energy/pessimistic views of life for the more positive/ optimistic side. Your approach with this upbeat piece, in my humble opinion, is as it should be: the world doesn't owe us anything nor is tomorrow promised. And, as mundane as it sounds, at this time in my life, I too am just; "Happy to see the sun again..." I have no suggestions for this superb free verse. Thanks for sharing it with fellow TPLers. TLW

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2005-03-17 11:04:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.92308
Hi Edwin, Glad to see a poem from your pen...either you haven't been writing or I have missed your work. This piece is wonderful, soulful, and says more inside the lines than you have written. I think you have written this because of personal depression or sadness in your life...which you have now overcome....happy to see the sun again...dance in morning air and screaming that life is good. I was relieved after reading this, it started out with a happy and contented attitude because the middle lines are packed with pathos...which isn't bad but I knew as I read the lines you have risen above whatever problems caused you to write this poem....'my anger is directed at the wraiths who find only sorrow in the world'...this is such a poignant statement...I dislike being around negative people that never find the good in anything. Everyone experiences depression at one time or another but it is the strong of will and mind that look it square in the face with defiance. 'Yet I hear another voice. Her beauty silences this empty enchantress. Her promise sends me running headlong into the day.'...your ending is grand...it signifies hope and a certain excitment at being alive. I love this poem...keep them coming! Peace...Marilyn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2005-03-17 06:32:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
I find that some much is said in this simple language poem. Packed full of emotion and I love the start of this..such a vivid image "Happy to see the sun again, I dance in the morning air screaming out that life is good." This is so simple but complex if that makes any sense at all.. I love the layering you have put in this poem. The internal struggle to stay with the promises and hopes and not surcum to the call of depression and the negativity that is always there just lurking "My anger is directed at the wraiths who find only sorrow in the world. Despair’s seductive song calls to me." and then because of the beautiful voice you and "Her promise sends me running headlong into the day. I really enjoyed this piece ..short and well stated , not over done, just there! wonderful! thanks for sharing this with me this morning.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-03-16 09:11:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.13636
Hope......The right title for this one my friend......well structured it flows well from beginning to end....the words you have chosen bring forth images of contrast between the light and the darkness in everyone's life......."happy to see the sun again" Lord how many of us live for that morning sunshine to filter through the window......to kiss our cheek awake with the sound of morning birds, so much for smiling, happy voices and faces, you have presented it all......despair's seductive song.....is also vivid. It does not take much to fall into a depressed state of mind and for some the lack of the sunshine in winter says it all......interesting way to put this poet..... Well written piece with no suggestion for changes or additions.... Might even says this could help some to understand more of themself....thanks for posting and sharing, God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2005-03-16 08:06:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.77778
Hi Edwin, There probably won't be a single person who will not be able to identify with the words that make this poem realistic and stark in every sense. The throes of depression have hounded mankind every step of the way from kings and queens to paupers and slaves, yet if depression and sorrow hadn't a challenger, life on earth would be doomed to an audience that is chained to the strains of 'Despair's seductive song'. However, as your poem rightly points out, it is the voice of that 'beautiful' challenger whose own call devours the hollow beings of the 'wraiths who find only sorrow in the world'. The other voice is all powerful and has lifted mankind up from it's lowest depths be it war, personal heartbreak, famine or even profession. The other voice rises with the sun and sends us 'running headlong into day', as you so aptly put it. It is not surprising then that you should name this well-written and hope- giving piece, 'Hope'. The poem flows well from beginning to end and the contrast between the darkness and light ('happy to see the sun again/this empty enchantress), innocence of hope and the seductive power of sorrow (despair's seductive song), is vivid. I would also like to comment on the use of 'despair's seductive song'. I find this an interesting way to make one of aware of the fact as to how easy it is for most people to fall into the arms of depression. Well written. This was therapeutic too. Hope to read more of your work in the future :-) Take Care, Duane.

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