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This Poem was Submitted By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2005-04-18 19:33:50 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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The Shepard

He is a humble man who needs little to survive. He loves grassy plateaus, his burlap topped wagon, icy streams and his flock. He is the Shepard Just before dawn, when sky is crimson and sunrise likens lemon rind, he sits on a verdant knoll and waits for flush of light when his sheep awake from night. He sees suckling lambs, patient ewes with curly fleece, and restless rams that shake horned heads and look about. He feeds his sheep, patrols the fold, bewilders big cats and wolves, and ponders death. Who will tend his sheep? Will little lambs still play and leap? He knows life goes not backward nor dallies in yesterday but swells forward to live in tomorrow. He is steward of the land Keeper of the gate Savior of the flock He is the Shepard

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-05-04 06:30:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.32075
Indeed, a humble man He was............the Shepherd.......you could be referring to John the Baptist within these lines or perhaps Jesus........both Shepherd's............good structure, your word flow brings us there to where this Shepherd is tending his flock whether they are sheep or men......makes no difference.......his love is pure and so full of meaning for those that listen......thus He is feeding his flock...........Makes no difference to this reader who the Shepherd refers to..........it just fills my heart and soul and that is all that matters......thank you for posting, God certainly continues to bless your work. Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: Audrey R Donegan On Date: 2005-05-01 00:42:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.26087
All of your work is filled with such awe inspireing imagery. Take for example: 'and sunrise likens lemon rinds' - wonderful! 'patient ewes with curly fleece' - good stuff and 'patrols the fold' - rolls off the tongue. Nicely done, Audrey

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2005-04-29 08:32:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi, Marilyn It isamazing to see your poetic gift developing. He is a humble man who needs little to survive. He loves grassy plateaus, his burlap topped wagon, icy streams and his flock. wonderful beginning to a narrative poem with much descriptive grace and profound meaning He is the Shepard This word alone on the line – and the device of the capital letter takes us out of the field and into a biblical realm. The Shepard could be David or Jesus, depending on ones theological orientation Just before dawn, when sky is crimson and sunrise [is as ] lemon rind, he sits on a verdant knoll and waits for flush of light when his sheep awake from night.[great internal and well as end rhymes in this stanza] He sees suckling lambs, patient ewes with curly fleece, and restless rams that shake horned heads and look about. He feeds his sheep, patrols the fold, bewilders big cats and wolves, and ponders death. Who will tend his sheep? Will little lambs still play and leap? this reminds me, in its profound simplicity - of Blake and his..”Little lamb – who made you – do you know who made you?” He knows life goes not backward nor dallies in yesterday but swells forward [love that verb here] to live in tomorrow. He is steward of the land Keeper of the gate Savior of the flock He is the Shepard Great ending for a fine poem with reflective wisdom in every line

This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-04-25 15:29:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.18182
A very definitive ending to a fine poem. I haven't seen any sheep herders in these parts, but there are a few Llama farms about. Llamas for what I know of them are not passive like sheep. At first when I saw the title I thought this may be a religious poem...the lord is my shepard thing. There is one line in here that stands out amongst all others: sunrise likens lemon rind...that is brilliant. Wish I could come up with that.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Helen C DOWNEY On Date: 2005-04-21 15:55:57
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.40909
Marilyn, First I must admit that I am getting addicted to your poems! When you first read this poem so ful of magic imagery and desriptive words, I get the impression that I am reading about about the life and times of an ordinary shepard. Reading over again I feel as if yo are speaking about Jesus...especially the last stanza... "He is steward of the land Keeper of the gate Savior of the flock He is the shepard This last stanzascreams out to me to remind me that the lord is our shepard and that he over looks all of us while waiting at the gate. What an inspirational piece Marilyn. I am so glad that you posted this one. ~Helen

This Poem was Critiqued By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2005-04-20 09:44:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.33333
I could vision this world of the Shepard that you have so skillfully layed on paper. Beautiful and strong images appear throughout, this is soothing to read, and good for the soul. I love your use of inline rhyme," on a verdant knoll and waits for flush of light when his sheep awake from night. " and this line in particular just simply sings " when sky is crimson and sunrise likens lemon rind," Yyour choice of the word "bewildered" is excellent in this line "bewilders big cats and wolves". This whole paragraph is a metaphore on life, and one that we all can relate to "He feeds his sheep, patrols the fold, bewilders big cats and wolves, and ponders death. Who will tend his sheep? Will little lambs still play and leap?" I am so glad that I found this piece in my list to critique..thanks for sharing! nancy

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2005-04-19 11:53:10
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Marilyn: I absolutely love this! It is, I think, a metaphor for the Great Shepherd. I know you will have realized this by now, but the title is misspelled. That is so minor compared to the glories in this poem that it's almost inconsequential. He is a humble man who needs little to survive. He loves grassy plateaus, his burlap topped wagon, icy streams and his flock. Burlap is the humblest of cloths, well-fitting for the man of humility you have described here. A 'man of the cloth' chooses the simplest, utilitarian covering for his wagon. The "grassy plateaus" remind me of "He maketh me to lie down in green pastures" from Psalm 23. I think that the solid-sounding consonant 'g' in "grassy/wagon" add to the image of this man as down-to-earth. He is the Shepard Just before dawn, when sky is crimson and sunrise "likens" lemon "rind", he sits --maybe 'is like'? on a verdant knoll and waits for flush of "light" when -deft assonance of long i's his sheep awake from "night". He sees suckling lambs, patient ewes with curly fleece, and restless rams Love the internal rhymes of "needs/streams/sheep/fleece" and end-rhymes of "lambs/rams"! that shake horned heads and look about. --An allusion to something less benign with horns? He feeds his sheep, patrols the fold, bewilders big cats and wolves, and ponders death. Who will tend his sheep? Will little lambs still play and leap? He knows life goes not backward nor dallies in yesterday but swells forward to live in tomorrow. This seems like a human man, but a leader. I am guessing that perhaps you refer to the new Pope, just elected. When you wrote this, that had not been decided as yet. But the world awaits the decision, for even non-Catholic Christians are concerned and hope that the new 'shepherd' will move "forward to live in tomorrow." He is steward of the land Keeper of the gate ---this is why I think you may refer to the new Pope. Savior of the flock Much will need to occur to keep the current Catholic church (flock) from failing, given recent events and declining enrollment in western nations. But of course, the poem could likely refer to Christ, the Good Shepherd: "He is the [Shepherd]" In either case, I think you have an excellent poem! Brava! My best always, Joanne

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