This Poem was Submitted By: James C. Horak On Date: 2009-10-20 18:31:06 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Willing Limber

The brittle is never that way    studded to the grain, can't sway But you walk knowingly in weave    answering motion with tease Like you would clothe the breeze    in song.... Can I step lightly enough...             just to hold a moment To place my hands in cradle                  and not be spent To a motion without stop?    

Copyright © October 2009 James C. Horak

Additional Notes:
In all of Creation, the culmination of beauty is wrapped in the woman's movement.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2009-11-07 20:58:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi James, Marvellous piece and one that so effectively captures the sesnuous gait in a woman's movement - I especially like 'you would clothe the breeze in song'. Duane.

This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2009-11-07 11:34:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hello, I am intrigued by this write and the form you used to pen the well chosen words. There is nothing that turns heads like the graceful and fluid movements of a woman, conversely the opposite is true of a woman who walks like a stiff peice of wood. The rich language in this piece makes it a pleasure to read. I find I can't offer anything to change. cheyenne
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2009-11-05 08:09:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
You seem to have captured it well within the lines presented with the flare of your pen. When I was younger I so loved wearing my very high heels, nylons and a dress with a flare to it.....the walking and swaying was so much fun back then and I remember my hubby always saying something about my tight blue jeans too.....I do believe women learn this maneuver at a very young age as I watch my little two year old granddaughter walk as if she too sways to the beat of music only she can hear.....God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2009-10-29 00:18:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
James, I think beauty is wrapped in swayability, like the willow tree moving to the music of the wind. Not rigid, stiff and unyielding. The gender doesn't matter. Dancers are both. I understand your view. Women are better at surrendering their all, where a man feels he loses his power. Which is actually the reverse. He gains respect for his confidence and assurance. My take... Lovely, wistful and possible. Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2009-10-27 08:41:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.40000
This is beautiful JC, especially the first verse. Love the last line in it "Like you would clothe the breeze in song" Women definitely move in ways men can't, it's a part of the natural way women are built with female animation, even our moods can change the way we present ourselves. I like how you tie in "motion", in both verses. Adds strength to the poem, leaning toward a mans hesitance - in his approach towards a woman. This is a keeper, and on my list, blessings, Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2009-10-24 08:34:03
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
James, This is such a well constructed tightly written poem that offers so many levels in its textures. As I read and reread this unique penning it occured to me that this has so many facets just as its composer. With first blush one might think that it speaks of literary accomplishment, those with blinders on who are set in their ways and remain obtuse to exploration of thought or notion. Then, also it comes to mind that it could be offering a hint of sexuality for those who are caught in flux, to hold sway to simply beauty whether it be woman or ? .. but most of all it hold that universal note, which address' the aforementioned and can encompass a life well lived, the necessity to grab or touch the dream just for a moment again without being caught up in it and consumed by it. On final approach I read of a unique person who has stood before the mirror, contemplated, reflected and with a sigh is satisfied even with the odd chance of just brushing up against what was for one more time even if only for a moment.. A most enjoyable read, one that demands to be read more than a mere two or three times. It offers a universal quality that all should be able to relate to even if they do not come away with the author's intent.. A most excellent writting that for this reader is without flaw or fault, it moves quickly yet softly through the mind and lingers like a warm afternoon's gentle breeze. Perfection, as always. Lora
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