This Poem was Submitted By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2011-01-30 14:25:06 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Keeper of Mem’ries Tis another year that has come and gone
and as the music fills the air
my mind wonders o’er all that passed before
In sullen tears that flow too easily
pictures of you and I float through
my mind, a mixed profusion of hap’nings
of some soft and sweet while others bear the
tempest of passionate discourse
still, held in the parameters of love
Now that I’m left to be the keeper of
those memories and dreams, I long
for the strength that your spirit lent to me
Are you watching for assurance of dreams
and reflective mem’ries kept true?
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Copyright © January 2011 Lora Silvey
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mandie J Overocker On Date: 2011-02-06 22:05:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Lora, this is by far one of your best. The flow and rhythm are smooth and whisk the reader down the page. The bittersweet reminiscence of one you've lost, the longing for guidance, the need for assurance...you've done well with this one. Very well. Mandie
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2011-02-05 14:28:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Lora,
Another sad poem of a loved one gone. Too bad it got in so late in the month.
They say it doesn't matter but I think it does.
Your meter is great, this flows well.
Good job my dear.
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mary J Coffman On Date: 2011-02-03 14:15:04
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Lora;
So sorry it took me so long....lol! The "longing"
in this beautiful piece is so very evident
throughout in words like "sullen," "mem'ries (love the
short-play on these words), "keeper".... The first stanza
"sets" the mood of this nicely, but stanza 2 really
drives it home. I can so relate to the personal side of
this, and want to share rainbows and stars with you, as
well. The fourth stanza really stuck with me. So often
we rely on those memories to "sooth and sustain,"
keeping them in the locked rooms of our hearts. This
pulled at my soul, and left me sighing. Well done, my
dear friend!! So very good to read you again!!
Always here for you;
Mary (((hug)))
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2011-01-31 11:57:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90909
Lora, I find myself looking for the substantiation. What a voyeur I can be!
In S1, the year has passed. It must have been a good one to be lauded with “music filling the airâ€. Do you mean “wander†and onto “wonderâ€? The verse leads me to the next scene.
S2 makes me wonder at “sullen tearsâ€, the breach in the joy, and the “profusion†of events. “Pictures of youâ€, I wonder who it is, a husband, lover, child- and then S3 hits.
S3 the keys are “soft and sweet†/ “passionate discourse†(which actually could mean arguments as much as anything else). Leads to the “parameters of loveâ€. That phrase has the scope of a good Haiku.
S4, in lieu of S2/3 makes me wonder why you are the sole conservator of the year, of the memories. Then we hear of “lent†spirit and strength. Aloneness in memories.
S5 we ask with you. Still, in the context of this poem, I cannot tell if you were alone the past year in memory, or lost somebody who shared a partial year with you. All I know is “reflective†will always paint a picture.
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2011-01-30 20:02:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.25000
Life and Loss, so poetic and written in true admiration in missing what was, and feeling the strength left behind to hold on to. This poem captured me in the first line. Your unique style never fails to fascinate me or deter me from wanting to read more of your poems. They are all brought to life with the best imagery, flow and content always understood before reaching the end.
From title to ending you have done a wonderful job, I believe yes - watching most definitely.
blessings,
Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2011-01-30 17:40:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.57143
Hi Lora,
Such a melancholy poem and one I enjoyed reading more than once. I love the notion of being the keeper of memories and wish I had thought of it first! Well written and evocative poem. Bravo!
Best wishes,
cheyenne
This Poem was Critiqued By: David Keesey On Date: 2011-01-30 15:12:04
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.40000
This is one that rings of a lover lost. "The music fills the air," makes me think that the narrator is at some festive function and is left longing for their lost lover. It is short and to the point and gives an impression of a fleeting thought as the narrator might possibly be on thier way to the dance floor. It is effective in expression of lost. Well done.
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