Robert Wyma's E-Mail Address: robert.wyma@sasktel.net

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Below you will see ALL of the Critiques that Robert Wyma has given on The Poetic Link.
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Poem Title	Poet Name	Critique Given by Robert Wyma	Critique Date
Finale	Mark Andrew Hislop	An honest emotional dialogue captured in this write. I enjoyed the short focussed stanza's with the subtle ABBA rhyme which for me clearly establishes the mood. I have no suggestions for improvement. Well constructed Mark. Robert	2004-11-22 13:16:04
B-Rated Love Affair	DeniMari Z.	The cathartic poetic journey is very well delivered here. This is where I learned to rip with words those places I could not face. The rawness of truth and pain is very compelling for readers as they seek reference points for their personal journeys. This is a very honest poem and takes the reader through a journey, that is shared and related to. Not confusing, and yet complete because it is honest. Thanks for sharing. Robert	2004-11-20 17:21:46
Solitude	Thomas H. Smihula	A spiritual journey marked by the clamp of time. So much cast to the wind in haste, only to wantonly be sought later in life. We are in a sense self made prisoners, until we seek our freedom. This poem captures for me the very deep need to create open space in our lives. So often we go from event to event filling our lives with the next ten things on the list. The true self lives outside of time and only by getting quiet can we stop the clock and go home. Good to read your thoughts again Thomas. I hope all is well. Robert	2004-11-20 17:16:15
Mist	Regis L Chapman	A delightful journey through metaphor, that provides me with the freedom to ride the waves (sorry for the borrow). I am quite a fan of readers freedom, and the right to "explore" internal issues, and the poetic nuances of your poem certainly gave me full fare. I see cycles of renewal (reincarnation) and spiritual guidance flowing from the sun (as warmth) portrayed here metaphorically. You use aliteration very effectively as a poetic tool, especially in this line: "cell cycle circle- Self is the same, One". You have written and not overwritten in my view, which engages the reader. The only suggestion for improvement I have, is carefull monitoring of the pace of the read, which is controlled by two mediums, punctuation and stanza's. This poem works effectively, but might be more evocative if broken down into smaller stanza's that encourage the reader to stop and reflect and capture the essence of a smaller stanza. With large stanza's as presented here the reader is sometimes pushed to the end, and misses some of the nuances in the chase. Just a thought. Well done. Robert	2004-11-20 17:09:07
Moon Haiku #3	Joanne M Uppendahl	I am not familiar with the technicalities of Haiku, but can speak to your poetic effects. Rhythmic tantalizing use of words. Tangerine is a rare word, yet so chock full of purpose for describing a holloween moon or harvest moon. WELL done. The second line has poetic beauty and economy with internal rhyme punctuated (long "o" in glowing and o'lantern) and separated by the hardness of "jack", and then finishes rhythmically with orb. This line is exquisitely balanced and rolls musically off the tongue: "glowing jack o’lantern orb". Well done. The last line captures the declining goddess of the celestial skies, who borrows her light and yet recognizes the power of her innate beauty in contrast to the radiance of others. Economy prevails in splendour throughout this poem. Thanks for the journey Joanne. Blessings, Robert	2004-10-11 15:43:23
verse 61 (Birth)	Erzahl Leo M. Espino	An economical journey for me as a parent, with my youngest now nine. A poem should take us somewhere, and for me the journey is quick through these well chosen meaningful words. The highest honour we are bestowed with is parenting another soul through life. The cry is not out of pain, but out of love for shared journeys. Thanks for sharing Erzahl. Robert	2004-10-11 15:23:29
Father's Time	Mark D. Kilburn	Terrifically hard for me to go from start to finish, not because of the writing, it is the pain of plain truth emerging in the poem. This is what defines poetry. It must get the reader to feel something. This one "rips" and will charge people to wiegh the injustice and disparity of child rearing. Thank goodness for interventions in a small percentage of cases. The writing has a starkness about it, honed by the lack of rhyme. This is very important in establishing the somber mood of the horrible recount. Thanks for sharing. Robert	2004-10-11 13:13:41
Mainstreaming	Edwin John Krizek	This poems feels somewhat fractal like for me. The spiral of evolution from micro to macro, each with its own turbulent eddies. I like the way you take the reader from centre stream to the emenseness of eternity and focus the finishing lines of the poem with the importance of our gifts, seldom put in context. The greater lies ahead on the winding spiral of evolution. Thanks for sharing a very thought provoking poem. Robert	2004-10-11 13:07:15
Listen, Missy!	Andrea M. Taylor	An honest poem that speaks to the dangers that the young often hear, but cannot seem to get. This poem captures the dark trail alcohol can burn for all adults, especially our young who seldom exercise the power of choice in its most potent ways. I thought 90 looked odd as a numerical value instead of being written out, but it is commonly displayed this way, so it is in context. Well done and thanks for sharing. Robert	2004-10-10 16:12:24
Finding the Muse	Edwin John Krizek	The timeless curse of all writing. What of the muse and the filmy, translucent relationship that is apparently on someone elses time-line. This poem captures the way I feel most of the time, pushed to write, interested in writing, lines bouncing around in my head ( not my voice, or my rhyming style) and when I sit down to rap them into something, the urgency fades. The other part that is so true is caught in this line: Tell me now what secret fire can be found in the contented heart From great pain shall come the best writing, and from a content heart, not much ( at least for me). A truthful poke at the muse in all of us. Thanks for sharing, Robert	2004-10-09 19:44:06
MY THOUGHTS ON POLITICS	TJ Daniels	The scourge of modern living is political drama, that serves no HIGH purpose in the end. You carry my sentiments exactly, how can everyone be wrong. Can't be, and where does truth get chopped up and shared. Hmmmm. Timely poem, even from my Canadian perspective. Robert	2004-10-09 19:30:37
The Dawn of a New Thought	Amour Stakwi'a Dresbach	A full dedicated write that uses interesting, non-traditional language as guided in the comments. The depth into which you take me, the reader leaves me often wanting less. From my perspective, when I write something heartfelt ( for me alone) , I have to play it out in full context, much like you have here. When I am writing to engage a reader, I will become less detail oriented, allowing the reader to become the poet and fill the characters with their own stories. This very detailed write does not allow me the space ( perhaps on purpose) to project my experiences or imaginings into it, so I feel always at arms length. I will not presume to have the expertise or talent to tell anyone not to overwrite. We all write for personal reasons. I am just suggesting that the core idea, or central piece in this poem never emerged for me. In the beginning I see the metaphorical King and Queen, and the last stanza shifts to its focus on Love, and I am somewhat lost. Perhaps they are reconciled and as one, but I just don't get it that easily. I hope this helps. Just being honest. Thanks for sharing. Robert	2004-10-09 19:23:14
A Diamond Of Design	Nancy Ann Hemsworth	A bold metaphorical journey, that describes us appropriately perhaps as cut and uncut (my thoughts). I think you take me to the precious, positive view of humanity, which is refreshing. So often we frame by contrast the rough with the beautiful. You have primarily focussed on the inner beauty in contrast with what may appear on the outside, as a shell hiding something greater. This speaks to a greater truth, and perhaps a a more difficult truth to relate to in our busy modern world. Each of us, would we have the time, has hidden, very attractive, deeper parts of ourselves waiting for an opportunity to emerge. I might guess that is why some of us write, and interact at TPL. Thanks for sharing this poem Nancy. Well done. Robert	2004-09-23 14:31:12
Stones Will Sing	Joanne M Uppendahl	Dear Joanne, I can hear the harmony of spheres ringing in your poem, as the symphony above, is reflected below. This has to include the discordant imperfections of the unripe, and of course the perfected tones of the ripened. I love the subtle rhyme in "who doesn’t flinch at little accidents". You have packed this concise piece with aliterative "f" sounds in the second stanza, which gives the poem some punchiness. This shifts in the third stanza to softer "l" and sibilant "s" sounds in contrast. The last stanza has internal rhyme in the first line, which is fantastic, abundant soft "s" sounds again, and then finishes with a statement that punctuated and closed with contrast in "bones". A great finish. What do I draw from all of this. The human, planetary and steller mixed well with purpose, and that the woven bones are one rung, as are the stoney bones of the planet, amidst the symphonic unseen orchestra. Thanks for sharing. I always enjoy. Robert	2004-09-18 16:42:03
The Man In The Window	Ms.Kim Shumaker	The joy in poetry for me is the bravery that emerges in writing honestly. You convey this poem with honesty, and passion. The question remains, are those chance encounters chance, or is something special sent unseen. In this world of crazy busy-ness we often miss much that would change us, if we could just slow down, smile, be kind, and share the good parts we all have. This is the second poem I have read today that speaks to the incredible pace our modern lives have, and how much we have but do not always appreciate. You have presented this idea very well, and in a story that enlivens the question. Well done. Thanks for sharing Robert	2004-09-18 16:18:37
She's...	Patricia Gibson-Williams	A very well written captivating poem. I think the use of "rapt" is fine. The English language is quite muscular, and this root word takes me to "rapture" which ties in with soul. For me it works. The abundance of sibilant "s" sounds makes the poem soft and subtle and sensual. You have painted a complete portrait of unabashed truth about the beauty and function of form, that lives life in truth, with honour and purpose. The poem creates a rubenesque image in my mind of a full figured woman that has lived, she is not young, and not old, she is beauty. The only suggestion I would have for you is weighing the value of repeated She's. I did a poem like this once and a crit reminded me of the fact I could state it in the first stanza or title and leave the second word of every line as the first... just a suggestion. She's... Spiraling curls That leave me rapt Round fingers That dance through my soul Brown sugar eyes Melting away doubts Leaving me Dripping with desire Crimson lips With honeydew kisses Sighing rapture and screaming fire Thanks for sharing. Well done. Robert	2004-09-18 14:15:54
On a Bench by the Potomac	cheryl a kelley	You have caught the ever widening range of how fast our lives are at the top end, in contrast to how slow it can on another level of awareness. This really defines our modern age, high-speed everything, juxtopositioned against the ordinary pieces of our life that evolve much slowly. Travel abroad and back accomplished in week, but the deterioration of a loved one can seem endless and painfully slow. I think the honesty in this poem conveys in context how little we realize that the tension between the two extremes creates chaos in our lives. I like the way you use contrast in your writing to engage the reader, "slowly slowly at lightening speed" "slow turn of his head the lightening bolt of his stare" A very well written honest personal critique of our crazy ways. Thanks for sharing. Robert	2004-09-18 14:01:08
Creating and Dating	Mandie J Overocker	I really enjoy this style Amanda, tight, rhyming and prose mixed well together and especially the empty spaces. The empty places, or sparcity allow me to project into the poem and take it on imaginatively to place where I think I understand the poem. So often the reader cannot become the poet, because we overwrite. This is clearly not the case with your poem. I feel the tension as these two characters meet and discover, and the personal boundries that eventually collapse in the joy of discovery, especially with a kindred spirit. Well done. Thanks for sharing. Robert	2004-09-18 13:46:56
Poet's Prophetic Metophor	Robert L Tremblay	Well written, very interesting and deep poem. This carries the desolation of our human and planetary condition in context, when placed in human terms, and then by contrast the journey has to contain betterment within a divine plan when viewed from another more elevated perspective. The biblical context of an eye for and eye will not take us far, yet in circles of power this rules the day. There is so much meaning, subtle meaning that speaks to my perceptions, and the hidden world that moves the external machinery we touch. In your poem I can see the forces of spirit, and the forces of matter clearly colliding in an all out battle for supremacy guided by the unseen hand (and meditative eye) that knows the outcome. Thanks for the inspiration. Robert	2004-09-12 14:22:39
Unspoken	Jana Buck Hanks	This is very much a questioning poem that takes the reader through a personal journey that can be shared perhaps in experience, perhaps compassionately. Personally, I prefer a regular font, but I am a traditionalist in this regard, preferring the emotional textures and context to emerge in the words. This is a personal preference however. There is an abundance of honesty and self reflection in this poem that took me through a similar process of drawing together "bit and pieces" of a long distant time. Every moment a truth, every experience a journey, and all of it fragmented in the mind of an adult in spite of its original coherency. Very brave, and very honest. Robert	2004-08-14 15:52:49
A life in the day of a gutter-girl	Lynda G Smith	This poem is rich with contrasting terms of constriction and expansion. This mix in balance plays out the tension that exists between what is taught, and what is felt. At the core of each of us in a natural sense of selfhood that is repeatedly challenged by rules and expectation, many of which remain unchallenged and unquestioned except in the privacy of our own internal dialogue. This poem captures the honesty and the rightfullness of this self questioning that eventually creates who we become. This poems contains many powerful metaphors: corsets of rigid-boned rules.... so descriptive and rhythmic gown of contempt.... very descriptive and vivid A very powerful truth emerges in the line that states that limitations are unlaced by seduction of expectation. So true. The poem ends with a very firm and very grounded statement, enclosed with aliterative "b" sounds that connect the reader with the grounding rhythm of the letter "b". Well done, Robert	2004-08-14 15:34:46
The Perseids Are Coming	Joanne M Uppendahl	Tis a wonderful creation in celebration of cosmic wisdom descending from the greater sphere. The first stanza creates a soft sell to the reader, like the very first hints of cosmic showers, with the use of sibilant S sounds. Stanza three punches out the change in tempo with fantastic aliteration. For example the line, "strand of sand" is a brilliant use of internal rhyme and alliteration. Love it. Subtle rhyming continues through out: "free recently" "other mud" very nice "very rarely" "horizons line" and the continued use of alterative sounds in consistant rhythm give this write good flow. So nice to hear your joy dancing through. As a heads up to the readers and crits, no finer means can be employed. Well done Joanne. Robert	2004-07-01 16:06:21
Invisible	Jana Buck Hanks	The font made it difficult for me to move through the poem that has good emotional context. I tend to view soul as different from soles, but this may have been intentional. The images that emerge hood the reader and push me through to the end, golden camels, and coral snakes are exquisite word combinations that leave me hunting for further meaning. The flow in the poem is okay until I got to the "would that the angels stopped this in juncture of life". This, coupled with the break and the final stanza was a hard stop start for me that took me back to the top to reread. There is also a subtle shift to past tense which confused me in he last four lines. For example, " would the angels stop this juncture of life and carry me home born on wings of silence" keeps the time frame in sequence as an unrealized event. A good emotive poem still. Bob	2004-07-01 15:11:36
Poem Title	Poet Name	Critique Given by Robert Wyma	Critique Date

Displaying Critiques 1 to 23 out of 23 Total Critiques.

If you would like to view all of Robert Wyma's Poetry just Click Here.

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