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Below you will see ALL of the Critiques that Jana Buck Hanks has given on The Poetic Link.
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Click HERE to return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!Displaying Critiques 1 to 28 out of 28 Total Critiques.
|Poem Title||Poet Name||Critique Given by Jana Buck Hanks||Critique Date|
|Severance||Mary J Coffman||mary,
this piece gives me chills, makes my stomach churn at the thought behind the writing. You have caught the helpless feeling of family and friends trying to relate to someone who has no will to live. Anger!! your choice of language ||2007-08-07 12:12:30|
|Earth Spirit||Michael Bird||Hi Michael, Your name is new to me but I have been away from TPL for some time. If you are new...welcome. I am taken by your intent in this poem. It is simple and straight to the heart of this Crone. It speaks of Earth Mother and the beauty of our world, the connection to all Spirits that ARE interconnected by nature. Your diction is simplicity yet imparts a meditative feel to this reader. I am with you as you direct a mantra of peace and knowledge of the heart. You are soooo correct in saying that the earth spirit will guide the way...if we but listen in the silence of our mind. You have captured fire, water, air and earth...you have talked of the spirits of each of these elements (water sprite) and the great eagle, the highest totem with the greatest expectations. Yes, these things you have written about are all communicated without talking. But I am so thrilled that you have put them into words. Thanks for sharing this piece. Bright Blessings Jana||2005-07-24 10:04:38|
|Enough2||Edwin John Krizek||Hi Edwin, I have placed my comment on the first poem, which I like better than this format. Both versions bring about Spiritual elevation and I really love that. Bright Blessings Jana||2004-09-13 12:58:44|
|Enough||Edwin John Krizek||Hi Edwin, I have read both version of this poem and have to say that I like this one best. Some how I think using enjambment might work here too instead of the endstops. Then endstops make each stanza so final...and then the reader has to start over again with the next verse. Just a suggestion. I thik the last two verses say it all: It is enough to dream of simple things that do not require the strength and determination of the gods. It is enough that you live knowing that you are a man and your actions matter. The subject matter and diction of the poem is excellent. I am honored that you have shared this with us. I will make the comment of which choice I have made on the 2nd poem of Enough...but think I will not comment outwardly on it. Bright Blessings Jana||2004-09-13 12:56:57|
|A Diamond Of Design||Nancy Ann Hemsworth||Dear Nancy, I love stones...precious or otherwise, so this poem is close to my heart. I love the analogy of stones being people and how the facets of time make them precious, if we are willing to hone that dull piece of earth...over time...bringing out the qualities of the pure diamond. The rhyme is so soft and each stanza flows gently into the next. The ending is excellent bringing the point of the poem to an end. Bright Blessings Jana||2004-09-13 12:45:13|
|Poet's Prophetic Metophor||Robert L Tremblay||Dear Bob. I hope you do not tire of this life too much. I value your poetry and this one is just another example of excellence. Many things have been written about Sept. 11 and the travesty of man. I love they way you have handled this subject, in a sort of mystical view. You are gifted. EAch stanza enfolds into the next and with each endstop, the reader must muse for minutes over what has been said, or at least this reader did. It is hard to pick out which verses I like the best,that is rather like chosing one child over another, but these two jump out at me. As tentacles entwine lungs thirsting air, Sound spirits simmer in forlorn despair; Revealing the eleventh as a sign Imposed upon your destiny and mine. With quickening homage from soul bestowed Within Divine celestial abode, Mankindís creationís realized, As Love is beckoned, heavenly disguised. Thanks so much for sharing this with us. Bright Blessings Jana||2004-09-13 12:29:56|
|Big Catch||Claire H. Currier||Oh Claire, I set spell bound reading this piece...I am out there in the boat with you two. I feel the rocking of the boat as you fight with the catch...and what a catch! Sounds like New England to me. Your diction is wonderful. Bright Blessings Jana||2004-09-13 12:15:14|
|Arthurian Ode - Part One||Robert Wyma||Oh Robert, this piece just thrilled me, I love the whole thing and am waiting anxiously for the continuation. This tale is in-depth and the characterizations are so real, I think you ought to do this as a book....there can never be too much said about Authur and Merlin!!! The metaphorical language gives me chills. Keep right on writing! Bright Blessings Jana||2004-09-13 12:07:13|
|The Counsel Of The Trees||Nancy Ann Hemsworth||Hi Nancy! This poem is so soft, so flowing, so beautiful. The images you paint surround my soul and I feel blessed in the witness of trees. Your rhyme is easy, not forced and the diction is elegant. I am so happy to have found this piece on my list to critique. It is hard to pick out one line, one stanza as the one I like best, it is like diasecting a classic. But I am partial to: Across this frigid open book the winds with words did lay an ancient text, embossed in snow with visions of a different day. Thanks so much for sharing this poem. Bright Blessings Jana||2004-08-25 13:07:29|
|Trip to the City||Edwin John Krizek||Hi Edwin! Thank you for writing this piece, I think it is lovely. Searching for answers where the claim of having the answers is televised. The city of questions. I like the way you have written the free verse and the poem flows down the page. Wouldn't it be wonderful if OZ was a real place, but we can all hold it dearly in our hearts and make it real. Your Mom did that and in some small way you belived because she belived and you searched for the simplicity and purity OZ represents. I believe that is an excellent quality to have. The following lines are my favorite and I find them profound and beautiful. Would, that we all had such faith. I went to the city seeking Oz and returned home to a meal: A little tea, a little mayo spread on two slices of hope. Eating it fed my hunger with faith. Faith that life is good. Faith that life will continue Faith that beauty and truth are real. Bright Blessings Jana||2004-08-25 11:09:52|
|Speed Metal||Jeff Green||Hi Jeff! I like the free verse and the subject matter...(my thought)as american as apple pie. With this piece we see the under-trappings of what makes america great, from a street-smart view. I think the diction is excellent, there is a flow to the piece bring it down to the last unexpected line..."but there is only one God..Mercury" and this could be interpered several ways. Thanks for writing this. Bright Blessings Jana||2004-08-25 10:42:10|
|Wading with the muse||Lynda G Smith||Hi Lynda, I want to tell you that this poem is beautiful and the message is so close to my heart. The rhyme scheme is such that it will make a fantastic song lyric...think about that! I think the enjambment works even though you have not pulled this apart into stanzas, it still flows pulling the reader down the page. Your diction is perfect for this piece. I love all of this poem but I think the following is my favorite section: Draw me, paint me, sing me, write me, send me skimming over waves to dip my staves in passionsí water......this I see as the artist's calling the muse Bright Blessings Jana||2004-08-25 10:29:27|
|A Poem Is. . .||Joanne M Uppendahl||Yes, Joanne, a poem is all of these wonderful things....and more. It takes a certain kind of person to notice the beautiful things around us and share what is seen through pen and paper or on an artists canvas. Thanks for bringing these things again to my imagination. Bright Blessings Jana||2004-08-02 03:05:00|
|The Force That Through My Muse Drives The O||Mell W. Morris||OOOooooooooooo Mell!!! I can just see all the faces of the Morman Tabanapple choir going OOOOOOOOOOO Your words in OOOO spread throughout this piece like a beautiful mosaic I love this line: I Sit and murmur O, my mouth round with Pleasure like a post-coital murgeon, Minus the coitus like roe without a sturgeon. To me this metaphorical image sets the tone of this poem, even though it is not in the first stanza. What would we do without the letter OOOOoooooo? Bright Blessings Jana||2004-07-31 21:20:22|
|Portrait of Loss As Three Styles of Music||Mell W. Morris||OK Mell, Here goes! I read this piece when you first posted, as a matter of fact I have read it several times and even though I love each seperate poems...I cannot get the music titles formulated in my mind...as going with the ones you have listed. It seems to me that you should switch the titles around....put Hesitation Blues where Country western is...then add a beer joint, lost my love, or as you have it "time heals all wounds" I love the way you have used the enjambment and endstops, it makes it flow and easy to read and comprehend. It is not the poetry that is the problem, it is just finding the right kind of music as a metaphorical title start. IMHO Bright Blessings Jana||2004-07-31 21:09:54|
|Least of All Me||Molly Johnson||Hi Molly! What a wonderful eulegy for one of the fallen. The format and endstops of the free verse, allows the flow of the poem to trickle like the sweat drying on the dying. The piece is well dictioned and the imagry is there in picture perfect timing. I wish I had written this one. I am her son enven though grief will outlast the flicker of my face....no one could say it better! Thanks for sharing this one, it means a lot to me. Bright Blessings Jana||2004-07-31 14:55:25|
|Trust||Jacob W Roberts||Hi Jacob,This piece has lots of alliteration/rhyme and consonance....but the sequences feel strained to this reader. It is like you took a subject and buried it, leaving the tone of the poem shakey instead of flowing. The cadence is off, try looking at the line placement to pull this piece together. It is not a bad poem, it is just one in need of revision to make it sing. Using enjamed words and end stopped lines makes it easier For example: to read and make more sense of the rhyme. stars snap through night IMHO, these are just suggestions. moon illuminates firewood stack You lay twigs and needles assured they are combustible enough. "Strike the match, spark the wood." It is not so tough when dawn arrives to kindle our eyes. You will point at the dusty coals and say, "See, I told you so."||2004-07-31 14:08:51|
|The hallway||Mark Andrew Hislop||Oh, Mark! What a refreshing love poem! Once again your diction is wonderful. The enjambent and endstopped lines flow easily into one another. The cadence glides in free-fall. I thrill at the entire poem, but this work has specific lines that just trip my trigger : hair pulled and gelled tightly back, Black frame of a window into heaven,... Did we have coffee, then? I know, Mistress of warm chocolate, that you Didnít. I donít remember anything else Somehow... Mark, I know if my husband could write down his feelings about me....they would be similar to what you have written here. Thanks so much for this wonder of words. Bright Blessings Jana||2004-07-30 21:30:32|
|Sleepless in Colombo||Mark Andrew Hislop||Hi Mark! Please forgive the inept way I critique, the technicalities of poetry escape me. I would like to tell you what your images say to me. This poem is cold...the coldness of sleepless nights where Ambian is not your best friend. The bed is cast with shadows and the siren of desire is anything but present and her allusiveness touches every nerve in the body (and the reader.) I love the cadence and diction of this poem and the way it is free verse with rhymes here and there. Truthfully, I cannot pick this poem apart and tell you which lines or stanzas I like best...that would be like picking out the eyes of Christ. The whole poem needs to be intact...it is wonderful...the last line says it all....."and utterly forgetable"...but this work is quite the opposite of that! Bright Blessings Jana||2004-07-30 21:07:20|
|Nocturnal Fantasy||marilyn terwilleger||Wow Marilyn!!! What rhymes, near rhymes, slant rhymes...and all kinds of rhymes!! This is such a neat poem, the alliteration and consonance are wonderful. I feel as though I should don my sworping dress and get me to the widow's walk....to look for my love! (even though this piece is not about the sea!!)(grinning) I am not the greatest critic and definately cannot critique technically....but I really think this one sings! Is it supposed to be "Noonday?" My favorite lines are" Ere the crimson rays of day be done And the storm unfurls o'er slumping sun Erelong I embrace nocturnal fantasy And stay my lifelong quest for thee Thanks for sharing! Bright Blessings Jana||2004-07-30 20:46:10|
|Hopeful Dreamer||housam majid jarrar||Hello Housam, I am not the best critic but I will tell you how this poem makes me feel. Written in free verse (my favorite)it flows from line to line with eloquence. There is a dream-like quality of new love or the hope of new love. The font adds to the etherial quality of this piece. I close my eyes and feel the floating sensation of your words. I am wondering if you might consider re-ordering the stanzas so that you have equal number of lines or either descending or ascending number of lines per stanza...allowing the last two lines to stand alone....they are a wonderful ending to this piece and should shine alone IMHO Thanks for sharing this. Bright Blessings Jana||2004-07-30 12:17:51|
|Wakers||Lynda G Smith||Lynda, I am not the greatest critic, but I will tell you how I feel about this poem. You have wonderful alliteration, the sounds blend so well and the tone of the poem is carried throughout. I love the darkness of the poem, the etherial quality of the subject, the picture painted by words. The first line of the poem is captivating, holds the attention and begs to be followed by the reader. Thank you for sharing this with us. I think it is excellent, love the line placement and the end-stopped lines do not take away from the movement of the piece. Can you tell I really like this poem? Bright Blessings Jana The rooks are breaking bread within the mist On the table of the valley Their celebration slaps the ale of their bawdy song Upon the wooded air To cant upon the morning their boastful feasting Old as time, blackened breasts rosy in the rising sun And songs as brackish as the rasping marsh They sprang from. Black to the root but hearts not so What fledgling motherís love fed and thrust upon the world This rookery of roughness, toughness in the wood To stand upon a branch, swollen limbed and thrusting from The brine of creation, an elation of sound Upon the day.||2004-07-30 12:00:42|
|Another Battlefield||Wayne R. Leach||Wayne, I read this poem earlier in the day and while out walking my dogs, I found a beautiful ring of mushrooms around one of the trees. I immediately thought of this poem and how appropriate the parachutes for Leprechauns and the metaphorical magic in linking them with men in war that parachute into battle. I love the way you set up the questions between understanding, yet not understanding war...and the dimensions of realities non-sense and imaginations place of reality....mushrooms the common denominator of both. This is an excellent piece and I wish I were more eloquent in my ability to do justice with the critique. It made me smile...and I believe in Leprechauns anyway! Bright Blessings Jana||2004-07-29 21:43:45|
|Saying Good-Bye at the Seaside Cafe||Joanne M Uppendahl||Hey Joanne! I have read this one several times and still cannot get rid of the feeling that the juxtaposition of the conversation....having to do with the title of the cafe....and the rest of the poem, does not work well. I think the portion below the coffee stuff....works wonderfully alone, starting with: This great grave mother sea is a mistake to underestimate then work in the seaside cafe...like you are standing looking from the window or porch...saying goodbye. Hope this makes sense... Bright Blessings Jana||2004-07-28 16:58:17|
|Parade||marilyn terwilleger||Hey Marilyn! I'll grab my baton and twirl right along with you...cause I love a parade too. This poem is fun and the cadence and rhyme is delightful...you have captured the marching band to a "T" and it made me smile. I am not much of a critic....but had to grin and share it with you after reading this one! Thanks for submitting this on a whim...it is great. Bright Blessings Jana||2004-07-28 14:30:23|
|Hunger...||Patricia Gibson-Williams||Hi Patti, I read your poem the first day of submission and thought it was wonderful. I am not much of a critic but I would like to comment on how this piece makes me feel. I love the analogy of the eating of chicken and being make love to by your missing lover. I think the way you have presented the topic is very tasteful (No pun intended!) and speaks to every woman who's physical love has grown cold. Fantasizing about how the sex used to be...and now is a memory and wishful thinking. I think you have said it all in few words...electric words and lightning feelings...the cadence is great, as is the line stopped endings which add so much to the feeling of this work. Great Work!! But you want to dine alone. No longer sharing delectable cuisine. I lament nights spent feasting on mere memories needs un-tended. -- Ravenous -- These three lines just blew me away!!!! I long to callÖ and beg you for the bones. How sad and it rings of the end of a marriage, to me. Bright Blessings Jana||2004-07-28 14:21:47|
|A Fish Out of Water||G. Donald Cribbs||Hi Donald, I am not much of a critic but I felt a need to comment on your poem. Having read your poem on sexual molestation, I see the same topic in metaphoric guize here. The feeling of rage topped by a wet blanket is a physical feeling to me. Maybe, because I know the feeling well. I love the free verse and the tone of the poem follows from first verse through out. I am amazed at the vehicle of "Fishing" and "threaded hooks" that you use as analogy to the glareing thruth. My favorite part is: What is fishing to me nowóthe practice of his hands thread childhood on hooks, thrust beneath water's surface! The clustered claustrophobia presses in, tightens, clench of teeth, the petit mort or little death of tensing up, rigid rigor mortis, tiny death in wakefulness. the act of or climex in sex His sweat an urgent haste, skin thrusts to satisfy, gratified, I die. Hus sweat and urgent haste..makes me Laden, laid in gravesclothes, I pass from stringerís chain sneer and clinch my jaws to stripping basket, casket stokes the choke of light, weight of sight. Here is your impending death of My unlived life a fathomless dream; Spirit, the fathomless dream seamed by the death I live with him; Unable to move on, you mourn life worn revelation of shame mourned, torn in water, reborn. waiting for rebirth in life and in in the psyche. AT least this is the way I sense the poem. I think this is a wonderful metaphoric poem and I love your writing. Bright Blessings Jana||2004-07-28 13:07:55|
|Worms in the Summer Grass||G. Donald Cribbs||Hey Don, I have written a lot of poetry for therapy. As I read yours, I want to scream and lash out...for you. The imagery is past the point of excellence. The voice is still that of a frightened but resolved to his fate, child and the diction is perfect, from what I can tell. The use of enjambment and end stops with the lines works to make the piece jerky in movement, yet it flows....somewhat like the life of this boy. I really appreciate you sharing this wide-open piece. I am not the greatest critic where I can analyze this poem down to the inth degree, all I can say is Bravo! Bright Blessings Jana||2004-07-08 22:48:09|
|Poem Title||Poet Name||Critique Given by Jana Buck Hanks||Critique Date|
Displaying Critiques 1 to 28 out of 28 Total Critiques.
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