Mandie J Overocker's E-Mail Address: aoverocker@triad.rr.com
Mandie's Personal Web Page or Favorite Web Page: http://www.geocities.com/Wellesley/7336/index.html

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Below you will see ALL of the Critiques that Mandie J Overocker has given on The Poetic Link.
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Poem Title	Poet Name	Critique Given by Mandie J Overocker	Critique Date
Depending on What Is Is	Mell W. Morris	Although there is no apparent rhyme scheme or specific meter, this poem flows well and reads like a short story. It is filled with images, some i care not to imagine, but vividly portrayed. I wonder if the title should read..."Depending on What It Is" ? This is a thought provoking piece and one that really made this reader think. Good work. Mandie	2005-06-26 00:20:10
Yoked	Dellena Rovito	Dellena, Oh how burdening emotions can be and how restraining too. You have done an awesome job here conveying the image of being yoked to the emotions and how one must gasp 'for life sustaining air.' be it from anxiety or depression, fear or amazement. "Gripped in servitude to misery's implement' This is an incredible line and leads perfectly into the next. The metaphor, well simile, of the draft horse is excellently immersed within this deep and reflective piece. Sorrow is a complex and difficult emotion to carry...and often we attempt to evade the expression or process of grief...and in that process of escaping we do become heavy burdened and overwhelmed in feeling bound by something beyond ourselves and often become desperate to ease the pain. yes, 'and so it goes.' I love this piece, another one i will keep close by. Thank you for sharing it here online. Keep up the great work. Mandie	2005-06-26 00:11:19
Thunder	marilyn terwilleger	Great meter, rhyme and flow throughout. This is an excellent piece of work. The images are colorful and vibrant popping through the verses. "Flowers yawn and mountains shout" What a great characterization you have here. and here too "even grasses smile therein". I like the alitteration in "Skittered and scattered overtop." The use of 'Hearkened'in the first verse relates well to the mention of 'angel-spirit' in the second verse. There are so many goodies in this! Great job Marilyn. I look forward to reading more of your work in the future. Always enjoy it! Thanks for sharing it with us. Mandie	2005-06-25 23:57:35
Pickin	Dellena Rovito	Dellena, This is a refreshing piece that flows so fluidly and liltingly. Poignantly written what seems effortlessly. The rhyme works well and i think it rather crafty to use the same sound throughout. The images are vibrant and i like the characterization of the tree..."With attributes that I don't see" i love this line! Trees are such awesome creations that hold so much life and learning for me. I will keep this poem nearby, i love it! Thank you for posting it and sharing it with us here. Mandie	2005-06-25 23:48:40
Falling From You	Rick Barnes	Rick... This is a beautiful piece, eloquently written. Your rhyme scheme and structure works effortlessly and the story flows vividly through each stanza. 3,5,4,3,6,4,4 3,5,4,3,6,4,4 3,5,4,3,6,4,4 you have created a lovely beat and kept it true throughout the piece. The title nicely fits the work and the imagery and metaphorical appeal is intense. I can literally see two lovers falling for each other, or falling away. Even the image of 'jumping out of an airplane' comes readliy to mind and how perfect as falling in love can often give the same rush as that. I imagined two lovers jumping from a plane and holding tight, then letting go and falling from each other instead of towards one another or for one another. I know you don't mention airplane here, but that is what my mind created as i read this one. I love the metaphor and imagery and wouldn't change a thing! Cheers, Mandie	2005-06-25 23:44:58
Arnie	Latorial D. Faison	Latorial, This is a great tribute to a wonderful poet. You have done him well here. I like the flow and the structure of cinquain even though the meter varies. You paint a great picture and offer a great metaphor. Thanks for posting this and sharing it with us. Mandie	2005-06-25 23:20:10
These Eyes	Donna Carter Soles	Silence becomes a silent cry... A whisper of heart or whisper of lie? A wail, a scream soon tears apart (just a few adjustments that i think might help the flow...although it flows well for the most part.) my soul my mind my beating heart! (i love this stanza) I know I can ne'er escape these echoes of the lies and darkness which fills my lifeless, blinded eyes! (again subtle adjustments for flow) All that technical stuff aside...i love this piece. I am left wondering are you blind, or are you speaking of being blind to what is right in front of us. As a victim of severe abuse growing up, i dissociated most of the experiences and locked them away in my head. This piece screams at me and reminds me of so many bits of evidence that were and are often right in front of me that i couldn't see because of the 'lies' i told myself to get through it all. And silence...a huge part it played...you may want to read my poems titled "Prison" and "Silence" - this poem reminds me of these. Great work here...Thanks for sharing it! Mandie	2005-06-25 23:17:56
Foundations	Thomas H. Smihula	Thomas, This is a truly lovely piece. I love the images and the sense of a stong, old, perhaps oak tree that has witnessed generation after generation of your family. Yes it is a wonderful example of a foundation, with roots firmly planted in the earth and branches reaching to the sky. I imagine your grandchildren, wrestling with you and clinging in your arms, as though you were a tree yourself. Your family tree has definitely sprouted...and will continue for years to come. I really like the image of the tree, one can see oneself as the trunk, with ancestors the roots and children the branches. You have done a great job depicting this here. Good flow, i like the loose rhyme scheme...it certainly doesn't seem forced. Thanks for sharing this with us here. Mandie	2005-06-25 22:24:22
Cat Lovers.........HELP	Claire H. Currier	Claire, I could just see the cat through the delightful expression you have penned here. I love the way you wrote from the cat's point of view. I have three cats and I swear they know what is up when I pull out their crates...They know where we are headed. I used to try to take them for rides just to get them accustomed to riding in the car. I even have one that seems to hold it in and leaves a present for the vet when they go to take him out of the crate...EVERYTIME! And each time i think we have made it to the vet without a present...by the time we walk in...there's one there...so much fun...so pretty. I am glad to hear your pets 'survived' this adventure and that they are so well taken care of. The poem flows well and reads like a story. Great job on this one... Mandie	2005-06-25 21:54:51
I Don't Know	Kenneth R. Patton	Kenneth, This is a beautiful, short and to the point piece of art. IT is well written and conveys your thoughts poignantly. My only suggestion would be to say "But I know [you] would offer it" at the end of the 2nd stanza. Perhaps it is that you would offer her your strength, but in my humble opinion, which doesn't mean much, I think that change would suit the structure of the poem more befittingly. I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. Cancer is an ugly evil and steals the beauties of life all too quickly and maliciously. I'm glad you had the chance to give her this too. Peace, Mandie	2005-06-24 07:22:44
Contentment	Debbie Spicer	Debbie, Medication can be a wonderful thing and can also be the opposite. My theory is if it works for you why upset the balance? If it doesn't, perhaps there's something else out there that can. I presume you're talking about an anti-depressant, or similar drug, and your reference to looking at the past reminds me that it has been the combination of medication and working in therapy on past childhood/young adulthood issues that has helped me through the darker moments into the light of contentment...if i can even say i have felt it. I have found my writing to be an amazing outlet and one which brings me peace, and it seems that writing holds something similar to you. I hope you are able to decide what you want to do, I know this much, whatever you decide will be what is meant to be...as long as you are keeping your own best interests at the forefront, you can't go wrong. I like this poem, it is simple, and from the heart, yet is complex with the possible interpretations. It flows and rhymes well. Good work here. Mandie	2005-06-24 07:16:45
For You I Waited	marilyn terwilleger	Marilyn, What great images here. The poem flows well and I was whisked away with your words. Are you still waiting? There is a melancholy tone here, and I wonder who you wait for...a lover perhaps, yes, it seems as you feel their breath and hear their voice. I love the vivid colors you have painted this picture for us in and look forward to reading more of your great works. Thank you for the honor of reading this one. MAndie	2005-06-22 16:43:01
I AM . . .	Latorial D. Faison	Latorial, Frankness is your style as this poem reveals. I love the flow and the images you create here. We are as poets each and everyone of these things and so much more. When will we all in this world realize we are all of the same creator, all of the same creation, we share the same air, drink the same water, walk the same earth? Thank you for this inspiring and thought provoking piece. Mandie	2005-06-22 16:26:27
Mea Culpa	Dellena Rovito	Cloudy skies and raindrop eyes - I love this line. Full of imagery and well written, this piece tickles my fancy. I am curious if you intentionally tried to make each line with the same number of syllables, oir if that just happened. the only two that are short a syllable would be the first two and i wouldn't want to see those change, they open the piece so lovely. if you wanted each line to have the same syllables perhaps sticking to a seven syllable line instead of eight would work... but i have trouble with some lines making that work. is this a particular form i am not aware of? Mea culpa! indeed...you've written a marvelous piece here...thank you for sharing. Mandie	2005-06-22 15:45:22
unittled	Rachel F. Spinoza	Rachel, I can't believe the misspelled title "unittled" was overseen by you. PErhaps intended? I wish i knew what a jacaranda is, my presumption would be it is a flower, perhaps one found in California? Great piece of haiku, form is good and the imagery superb (if i am right about the flower.?) Nice to read your work again. Mandie	2005-06-22 15:36:11
The Thief	Timothy Holyoake	Timothy, I am impressed deeply by your painful experience. Your title harshly forewarns of the painful tale you spin. But i presume it is not just a tale but an awful exprience, memory of yours. I too have had my share of this terrible crimes, and i can only hope youare finding peace and healing as you continue your journey and write. Thank you so much for sharing this piece with us. No child should ever be exposed to such cruelties and with such trickery and misguidance and alluring with treats. I am so sorry this happened to you. Many blessings for peace and cheer, but do not forget to let that young one mourn. Thinking of you, Mandie PS As a comment on structure and technicalities, i feel to comment here would be to take away from the poignant way you have shared this memory. I think the poem flows well and the structure seems rather sound to me. Thanks again.	2005-06-21 11:25:00
ASHES	Nancy Ann Hemsworth	Nancy, Wow - what an amazing collection of images and thoughts. you have captured the essence of spreading one's ashes so eloquently, i am awed at your artistry. i feel less than able to comment, much less critique this beautiful work. The structure lends us to read smoothly from one line to the next, the brevity kept my attention the whole way through. I felt like i was right there with you as you lifted your hands to release your loved one. And how bittersweet, we can hold andd release that one, those ashes, yet they can not hold and release us in return, but perhaps our release comes as we release them. I love what you've done here. Thank you for the read. Mandie	2005-06-21 11:13:34
Sole to Soul	Timothy Holyoake	This is a beautiful, but sad poem. it calls each of us out to recognize the valuable life in every being. The imagery is impeccable, and you convey the story clearly. I am reminded of the many homeless i see around town every day, and that longing in my soul to reach out to them. For it could be just as easy for me to be walking in their soles. Thank you so much for posting this...great work. Only one editing note... tried should read tired? just a thought. Mandie	2005-06-20 19:43:08
The Mindless Wanderer	Thomas H. Smihula	Thomas, You have cleverly depicted The wandering mind. and hence your title is so apropo. I am intrigued by your use of stanzas and line breaks as they pull me to read further and further, becoming lost amongst the thoughts of the mindless wanderer. what art. thank you for sharing this with us. Mandie	2005-06-19 18:37:56
The idea-hound	Mark Andrew Hislop	Wow Mark... Once again your writing has touched me ever so deeply. What a beautiful way you have captured the essence of writing and with such a powerful metaphor as the hound. I had to reread this several times to be sure it wasn't about a real blood hound that is how well you have employed the imagery here. I love the constellationless windowpane, and the 'parchment' which detains your hand. eloquently written. Thanks for sharing this !!! Mandie	2005-06-19 18:27:04
Dignity	DeniMari Z.	Deni, This is quite an interesting piece. it flows quickly and the imagery is profound. I like how the first two stanzas seem to rhyme, and would like to see the third rhyme also. but i am not sure what to suggest. it has been a few reads and i still can't quite tell what it is that is missing. It seems well written and not needing anyhing added, but my rhyming mind wants something more.Ilike this one, it makes me think. great work. Mandie	2005-06-19 18:10:22
The Bones of the Dead	Medard Louis Lefevre Jr.	Wow...what an incredible piece of writing. I see so many different angles that the reader can go with this writing. Whether it is viewing a ghost town, or a decaying soul in a battered body. You have very artfully portrayed for me the image of one who is reflecting on a history of a life the author qquestions as meaningfull or meaningless. The image of the 'bones of the dead' is a very stark image and draws my attention immediately. I like how each line flows into the next, each stanza to the next. It seems seamless, and structured so well, that the rhymes flow effortlessly. Great work poet. Thank youf for sharing this one. it is a good one! Mandie	2005-06-19 18:04:36
Wind At My Back	Mell W. Morris	Mell, Wow. what an incredible poem filled with imagery and natural impressions. I love your use of a 'new vocabulary' and am intrigued by the form you have chosen. each line kept me drawn to the next, and perhaps thihis was your reasoning behind your choice of form? I think you have done a great job here and i look forward to reading more of your writing. Mandie	2005-06-19 17:45:05
Abyss	Jesus Manuel Lopez	Jesus, I love this poem. I wish I was more educated about the references you make, but the story came through clear to me. I was reminded of the deep abyss i feel inside myself. This poem flows nicely andconveys well the philosophical questions of life that we all grapple with. Thank you for posting this. Mandie	2005-06-19 17:41:24
A Diamond Of Design	Nancy Ann Hemsworth	Nancy, Very well written! I love the play on the metaphors of personalities in the different types of gems. Your work is well formed, flows well in most the entire poem and the message comes across clearly and succinctly. Thank you for sharing this great piece with us online. I love how the first two lines and last two lines repeat - the second time round there's such more meaning in the couplet thanks to your superb writing. I think that is what makes a poem truely wonderful when the writer makes you think and shift your perspective effortlessly, and that is exactly what you do with this one. Job well done! Keep writing. Mandie	2004-10-07 22:41:35
Mass of tears	Mark Andrew Hislop	Oh wow. I love the message in this poem and the imagery is undoubtedly clear. What a struggle as a man to become vulnerable to all emotions and feelings and then to express them as beautifully as you have here. Unfortunately men in our society are taught to 'dam' the tears and be stoic to the outside world, yet at what expense? There is so much to life besides being 'strong' and without feeling. So much more and I think your writing here clearly shows this. Thank you for letting us read and share in your beautiful creation!	2004-09-20 02:31:45
Poem Title	Poet Name	Critique Given by Mandie J Overocker	Critique Date

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