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Below you will see ALL of the Critiques that Sean Donaghy has given on The Poetic Link.
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If you would like to view all of Sean Donaghy's Poetry just Click Here.
Click HERE to return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!Displaying Critiques 1 to 30 out of 30 Total Critiques.
|Poem Title||Poet Name||Critique Given by Sean Donaghy||Critique Date|
|Soon, a Year||Thomas Edward Wright||TEH - Oh, my! This is lovely, lovely! So often anniversary tributes melt into sappy syrup, not fit for a cold griddle-cake. But, here, the memories of one who is missing are tangible, touchable and a clear picture of the joy that was in the making of them. I love this poem. It has a feel to it! Sean||2006-01-27 01:20:40|
|Australia Day Revised To Comply With New ...||Mark Andrew Hislop||MAH - Gripping poetry! To me it seems a reflective glass facing this country. America in a mirror, if you will. Actually, I do believe the two countries are truly mirror images of each other. One, Australia, populated (after the Aborigines) by Irish criminals (as so identified by the Empire), the other (USA) populated (after the Native Peoples) by (in a large part) Irish immigrants escaping the poverty of their homeland. Seems the Brits created twins in two hemispheres. And..from the text of your poem - the similarity still exists. Nicely done Sean||2006-01-27 01:11:47|
|Duel for a Paper Dollar||Lynda G Smith||Lynda - Marvelous poem! Nicely crafted, sharply honed indictment of those motivated by a greed rather than an emotion. The format..8 quatrains...is a perfect presentation and the meter is lyrically held (one exception - 2nd line, last stanza: "who live by tales told" - do you think you could use another syllable in there? like, "who live by sad tales told" or "...tales untold" ...I dunno! The rhymes are terrific. Simple, not far-reaching but nothing forced or out of place. The rhythm of the poem works nicely, too! Smoothly, like a good tune...not at all the "sing-song" usually found. All in all, great poem! Thanks for the read! Sean||2005-03-12 10:54:18|
|Your Mouth is Mine||hello haveaniceday||Exotic and erotic! A poem that can be felt as well as seen. You did well with the words you used. The poem is almost embarrassingly alive! (I don't think you'll have to tell me "when you're done"...I'll know!) Thanks for a great read. Sean||2005-03-08 15:08:51|
|Monastic Surrender||Paul R Lindenmeyer||Nicely described event that few really know of. The sweet solitude experienced while on a religious retreat is a healing, deeply spiritual thing. Your poem does well in bringing that picture and feeling to the reader. (Typo?: Penance...one "n") Thank you Sean||2005-03-08 15:04:56|
|Damn||John Dean||Ah! Writing is almost always such a painful...bloody...process as you so aptly show in this piece. The ache of authorship is really felt as one reads. Poetic imagery usually refers to the pictures of reality evoked by the poet's words but the imagery here paints an almost surreal picture of the imagination. Very nice! Sean||2005-03-08 14:51:08|
|Through The Pain||Nancy Ann Hemsworth||Lovely re-tracing of the line from childhood wonderment to adult reality. It takes a bit of thought to tie in the "pain" of the title with the "pane" of the stanzas but, when the picture clicks in, the sub-textual connection is eye-opening. A pleasant read... thank you! Sean||2005-03-08 14:45:26|
|Finding Hope||Rick Barnes||Rick - This is quite the gem! I'm really glad I took to the critique list at this late date and found this. The imagery is clear and powerful. You make the reader feel the season. I'm zippering the mack all the way up and pulling on an extra pair of socks! Thanks for the read Sean||2003-12-06 11:36:42|
|Day At The Beach||marilyn terwilleger||Marilyn - Sad that such a lovely day has to be marred by the realities of the world. Your great use of language and powerful imagery give even more impact to the contra of this poem - the ugliness of the evils of the world that go on incessantly as most of us hide behind sand dunes and lemonade. Thanks for the reminder and for the great poetry! Sean||2003-12-06 11:17:52|
|Gerald O'Reilly||Leo Wilder||Leo - We borrow from the Beatles, eh? A bit of "Elinor Rigby" - No harm there - Dylan borrowed melodies and form from many places (Woody Guthrie, The Childe Ballads) and it served him well. The problem for me is, instead of paying attention to your message, I keep hearing Paul McCartney singing in my head. Thanks for the read Sean||2003-12-06 11:10:06|
|Soul Unattended||Annette L Cowling||Annette - The idea that the writer is central and everything else revolves around him/her kind of sets a certain arrogance to the poem...and that is reinforced by the "porcelain plates on picnic tables" bit (nice alliterational rhythm, by the way). A powerful, yet subtle, statement...well written! Thanks for the read Sean||2003-12-06 11:07:40|
|japanese verse 31 (Twilight)||Erzahl Leo M. Espino||Erzahl, you paint lovely pictures with your haiku. I can see the brilliance of the sunset in your poem. I do understand your effort, I think...Two complete thoughts: Twilight is the time... "After the great torch/Banished its scandalous flame" Twilight is the time... "The sun shies away" Did I get it right this time? Thanks for the read Sean||2003-12-02 15:25:55|
|Deja Vu||Sergio M chavez||Wow! Powerful! Strong and biting! Your words whip the senses! Reading this fills one with the anxiety, fear and pain of the story. And that means it is really well done! You've done a fine job with this...If there are wounds, I hope they heal! Thanks for the read Sean||2003-12-02 15:07:39|
|Border Clash||Thomas Edward Wright||Charles Starkweather ran northward..."through and away from"..., "fast and sleek in a maroon coupe..." - over "...a stark black earth..." but that was some time ago and has nothing to do with this (I think) Marvelous imagery (although the "pregnant with snow" thing is a bit cliché-ish). I will take some time to discern all the meanings here...there being so many diversities! Thanks for the read Sean||2003-12-02 15:01:12|
|Birth Right||Ken Dauth||Poignant and powerful, the message you offer here. Not one that is always accepted by the vocal majorities(?). I like the way you've constructed your poem. You offer your reader the pedestal to stand above others then point (with your sword?) to the "rest of the world" so often ignored by those who stand on pedestals. Good work! Thanks for the read Sean||2003-12-02 14:54:58|
|Crafted in the Hands of Shakespeare||April Rose Ochinang Claessens||April Rose - Sorry, but this reads like a weak attempt to write in the manner of the old master. Your poem is filled with clichés that, In my opinion, Shakespeare would never have touched. There is promise in the structure, however, so my suggestion would be to re-write this with an eye on being more individually creative and not trying to "be" Shakespeare (none of us can be that!). Be yourself! Create your own images and put the language under YOUR control. Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery but, in the end, it is only a copy of the original. Craft your poetry in the hands of April Rose! Thanks for the read. Sean||2003-11-29 11:36:39|
|Root of Evil||Donna Carter Soles||Donna Lynn - Do we speak of the love of money here? (I think the actual quote is something like: "The love of money is the root of all evil") You express that thought well with very vivid imagery and a nice turn of phrasing. An interesting, thought-provoking poem. Good work! Thanks for the read. Sean||2003-11-29 11:27:09|
|japanese verse 32 (Chess)||Erzahl Leo M. Espino||Erzahl - Another well-constructed "English-style" haiku (5/7/5)...One question: Would "gambit" be the proper word to be used here? "Gambit" (a noun, by the way) - in my understanding - is defined as "an opening move in which the player seeks an advantage by sacrificing a piece, usually a pawn." So - a "Queen's gambit" would mean the sacrificing of the Queen's pawn, wouldn't it? I hope I'm not being too "picky"! Thanks for the read. Sean||2003-11-29 11:22:13|
|Ignorant Attempt To...||Sergio M chavez||Sergio - Is this the flip side of "The Wall"? I've just finished reading that and this one seems to parallel the theme. Sad tales...both of them! Poetically - you've managesd to express the deep feelings that have caused this poem rather well. Your anger and hurt are felt in the words you present..your pain is visible in the images you've created. And...all that makes for good poetry! Thanks for the read! Sean||2003-11-28 09:30:40|
|The Wall||Sergio M chavez||Sergio - This rings with the same sense of "hurt" as does Paul Simon's, "I Am A Rock" in which he says, "I build walls/A fortress deep and mighty/That none may penetrate" You nicely express the almost-universal need to protect one's self from the hurting world. Nice work. S.||2003-11-28 09:22:00|
|acrostic 1 (Wishful Thinking)||Erzahl Leo M. Espino||Erzahl - Clever! It took me a bit to figure out the acrostic layout but, eventually, I did... as I said, clever. But, poetically, it seems a bit weak and vague. It would make a good slogan, though! Thanks for the effort Sean||2003-11-13 14:49:33|
|Mirrors Have Memories||Annette L Cowling||Annette - Fine, fine poetry! Citing the mirror as the repository of all of life's memories is certainly a unique and wonderful image. Your poem contains many great lines and pictures. My favorite: "I never underestimate the power/Of sadness and its insane hold on me." Not just memorable but profound! (just being picky...You don't need the comma after "...sadness...") Good work! Sean||2003-11-13 14:43:25|
|A Fragment||Sandra J Kelley||Sandra - Your mystery writer of the first stanza piques my interest. Is he your favorite writer? Your muse? An alter ego? Whatever - he is obscure and certainly strangely strange in that he "deletes" his days work, consigning it to the ether rather than someone's interested eyes. The second stanza blows me away! The images you've created are absolutely amazing! I still can't figure out who the mystery writer is but I sure like the way you tell his story! Thanks for the effort! Sean||2003-11-13 14:37:25|
|The Last Conflict||Robert L Tremblay||Robert - Good story-telling here! Death rides through the ruins of the world, examining man's inhumanity, searching to assure its completeness, making sure the job is correctly completed. Interesting portrayal of Death's indifference to, well, death, in that he finishes the job on the suffering infant not to alleviate the sufferiung but, simply, to complete the job. Could use a bit of polishing, in my opinion. Some clichés and forced (and somewhat ordinary) rhymes. Also some glitches in construction and syntax for the sake of metrics, like: "of tiny infant who was left to die" (might read more smoothly like this: "of a tiny infant, left to die"); or "And he wondered why infant suffered so" ("he wondered why the infant suffered so"); One more: "Death, unperturbed,briskly dismounted horse/Removed his steel dagger without remorse" ("Death dismounted his pale, white horse/Unsheathed his dagger without remorse") My opinion, of course. Thanks for the effort. Sean||2003-11-13 14:27:58|
|Watermarks||Mell W. Morris||Mell - It would be good to know the challenge (the better to judge how well it was met!) Without that information, one must respond to just the poetry and ignore the motivation. So - poetically - it works well with just a smidge of places where a toe might be stubbed. Like "..those long urned.." - sounds a bit forced, sort of like pretentious diction. (Is there such a thing as poetically pretentious diction?) Also - cute but lengthy way to say "Chicago" (but that works better than "long urned"!) All that opinionated nonsense aside, the poem does work well. You most assuredly give the reader a good picture of the subject with an interesting description of his vocation (how many people do you think will know what a "palimpset" is?) With the exceptions noted...I liked it! You managed nicely the difficult job of job- description. (That's tough to do even in the want ads!) Thanks for the effort! S.||2003-11-10 15:31:15|
|japanese verse 30 (Vulture)||Erzahl Leo M. Espino||Erzahl - It may be just my own particular quirk but I find using poetic devices (like alliteration, rhyme, assonace, etc.) in haiku detracts from the purity of the form. The haiku poet has little time or space to say the beautiful things about nature that are to be said and to bother with such devices just seems to weaken the effort. Also - I think classifying the vulture as a villian is a bit unfair. The bird has a purpose, given to him by the Creator, and he serves that purpose well. He is not "vandalizing" the cadaver. On the contrary, the vulture, by ingesting the dead creature, restores it to life! Your poem is well written and your message is clearly stated. High marks for its construction and for the way you handle the format. Sorry but I just don't agree with the content. Thank you for sharing this effort. S.||2003-11-10 12:56:12|
|A Better Man||stephen g skipper||Stephen - Love lost? Obviously. Love regained? Maybe...but at a cost (Isn't it dangerous to thwart God's plans?) Your poem is interesting, obviously written from both sides of a broken heart and that might be the source of the difficulty it harbors. Maybe, take a step aside and write this from outside your feelings, make it more universal. Thank you for sharing this effort. S.||2003-11-10 12:39:23|
|The Boarder||Annette L Cowling||Annette - Good tale! Well told! A bit wordy to be poetically solid but that could be easily fixed using your obviously good feel for structure, a good ear and an unstinting editor's pencil! Go for it! Thank you for sharing your effort. S.||2003-11-10 12:33:23|
|The Cross||Jordan Brendez Bandojo||Jordan - Forgive me...structured poems such as this are not near the top of my list of favorites. The message usually gets lost in the construction. Yor effort seems (to me) a bit confusing. Who is the speaker? Who is telling me to "live my life and dare the world..." It was because of whom that I suffered? And.. who is the one who "..exempts no one..." and is "...heavy..."? I understand the "...Him.." I should be like refers to the Christian Savior but... all these other questions leave me unfulfilled. I appreciate your effort in creating such a picture with words but, again...for me... the meaning gets lost in the construction. Thank you for sharing your effort. S.||2003-11-08 20:08:18|
|Cats In Cardboard Boxes||Annette L Cowling||Annette - This is an interesting manner in which you've formatted the poem. Each stanza set so nearly quatrain-like, one begins to look for the rhyme scheme. Of course, there is none and, so, that distraction puts the reader on the wrong path - looking for things to go wrong rather than looking for the "right" in the work. Just a minor distraction, though. The strength of the poem soon has the reader back on the "right" track. You offer such great praise in this song to your writer-friend, one feels that something is missing without some example of the exemplary work of which he/she is so obviously capable. Of course, that work is between you and you friend so...but, still, I would like read the work of someone who can so thrillingly move another. But, then, there are the cats...they don't seem as impressed. They did sleep through the whole thing, didn't they? I might suggest that you subject this poem to the literary knife...that is, re-read with an eye to trimming. It is quite wordy - a fault that is usually detrimental to poetry. I would suggest some but I am reluctant to offer MY changes to YOUR poem. That is your province, should you choose. On the whole...it is an interesting read told in an open, yet mysterious, manner. Thank you for the opportunity to view your work. S.||2003-11-08 19:59:04|
|Poem Title||Poet Name||Critique Given by Sean Donaghy||Critique Date|
Displaying Critiques 1 to 30 out of 30 Total Critiques.
If you would like to view all of Sean Donaghy's Poetry just Click Here.
Click HERE to return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!