Latorial D. Faison's E-Mail Address: latorial@latorialfaison.com
Latorial's Personal Web Page or Favorite Web Page: http://www.latorialfaison.com
Latorial's Favorite Song: Great Is Thy Faithfulness

So far 709 People have Entered a Personal Profile on The Poetic Link! Click Here to see the rest of them or to Add your Own Personal Profile Now!

Below you will see ALL of the Critiques that Latorial D. Faison has given on The Poetic Link.
By Clicking a Poem Title, you can view the poem that is associated with each Critique.

If you would like to view all of Latorial D. Faison's Poetry just Click Here.

Click HERE to return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!

Poem Title	Poet Name	Critique Given by Latorial D. Faison	Critique Date
My Hero	Kenneth R. Patton	I like this poem Kenneth, for a lot of reasons. And although I understand that you're just reminiscing on some old sibling rivalry, you make a valid illustration with this poem. The title MY HERO may suggest that this was your older brother, and what follows is a rather cute and sincere poetic piece that details the relationship between brothers, or at least what one thought of the other. I like that you don't make this a complicated poem. You keep it light and simple, which I think is great for the time in history that it deals with like "when we were younger." My hero Got all the girls He didn’t even have to try (This usually happens with both brothers and sisters. For some reason, everybody always thinks one is better than the other, for whatever reasons (cuter, smarter, more athletic, more sexy, has a car, can dance, whatever. I have two sons, and already people are picking one over the other. They're only 5 and 6, and it drives me crazy) Two years older And smooth With those Clint Eastwood eyes (See, even you thought he was smooth . . . smile, and that's a great thing. That's why he's your hero. Sometimes in these kinds of relationships, the other sibling can be so bitter, envious or jealous that he/she can't even acknowledge the great characteristics about the other sibling. But you can, and that's how the reader is able to pick up on your sincere feelings and love for your sibling. We know the extent of the poem, and we can see that this is just a thought worth mentioning in a poem, not worth going crazy over. But I do think it's very important that you write about it, for all those people who don't handle this sort of thing so well. And believe me, there are many people who don't handle this well.) I watched With furious envy Through long adolescent years (You say that you were envious, but that was then, and this is now. Perhaps writing this poem about it seals the memory for what it is, just a memory). Never seeing in my jealousy His own Subterranean fears (I thought this was a flavorful twist in the end. I love it. People always think the grass is greener on the other side, and it never really is. In actuality, we all have to be who we are. Being someone else always looks attractive, but it never really is .Because we simply have to be who we are destined to be). Your poem brings all of these notions of self identity out for me. Sibling rivalry can kill a sibling relationship, and I think the worst thing is when it goes untalked about. Communication is the key to it all, even if it's through poetry. Thanks for sharing. I like this one, and I enjoyed reading it. Latorial www.latorialfaison.com	2005-02-07 23:39:07
Where's a frog when you need one!	Lynda G Smith	Lynda, I was very intrigued by the title of this poem, and for some reason I expected the poem to be a humorous one. I was surprised to find a serious and serene poem instead, and I truly enjoyed it. You speak calmly about the would be princess and pearls that lie beneath her hidden. The format of this poem is perfect, as the short lines cause for a smooth reading from one line and thought to the next. I’m not much of a princess. (Very important to begin the poem telling the reader exactly what's on your mind, and it's also in direct relation to the title; good connection) Beneath a winter white mattress, Beneath my back (the alliterative w's and the repetition of the word "beneath" have a very poetic effect here, and although you tell a story, it comes out naturally and very attractively leading the reader into the heart of this poem) As memory serves, Lie golden pea-pebbled pearls (these pearls part in the poem is very mysterious. you say "if memory serves..." that would suggest that you haven't seen them in a while, that perhaps they were put there after some memorable experience that didn't turn out to be as memorable as you would have hoped it to be. I think this whole idea of the pearls of a once or would be princess is not only mysterious, but it causes the reader to really wonder what happened. You have been dormant, and these pearls in hiding mark the time for you) And the weight of angels, (the pearls are held down by the weight of angels; this suggests that perhaps you have given up your title as princess for some other means, a good one, angels (could this mean chldren? perhaps or some other duty/calling in life?) the shadows of which (the shadows may suggest death, or the death of these angels you speak of; I'm not sure) that grace the grounds, the eyes of mind, to bleach beneath their bath in frozen compression. These lines go on to describe the pearls, and since you do it in great depth; it shows that they are hidden or beneath the mattress for a strong reason. Still I ache to ache with sensory pain, to evidence my living and my possibilities. This is the turning point in the poem for me, where the truth comes out. You miss the love you once knew, the feelings you felt while in love, and your body, your soul and spirit "ache to ache" with those feelings again. Apparently, something happened to this princess and she put away her pearls, never to love again. And all she really needs right now, well maybe, is a frog . . . to validate her being. Oh for a frog To test my hypothesis And my faith. This is very unique, and I love the way you bring this all together. A frog to test your hypothesis and your faith. This last statement invokes so many thoughts in me. I think of little girls believing in themselves and believing that they are beautiful and loved and deserving, and I see the speaker or the princess in the poem needing to feel like a princess again, needing a frog to validate that she is. What an awesome idea to put into works, and you have brought it together in such a clever way Lynda. Great job. I enjoyed reading this one. Latorial www.latorialfaison.com	2005-02-07 23:19:45
Cello Child	Lynda G Smith	Lynda, what a great piece this is. You do so many different things with this, and it all comes together so wonderfully. To begin with you play on the notion of the beauty of music throughout the poem. You play on childhood and innocence, and you also personify the music and give life to it. Ultimately you give voice to the notes, as you illustrate how the music also gives voice to the child. What a great relationship. This is what music does for so many musicians. This poem made me think of my own sons, who are currently fascinated with music and instruments: mainly drums, guitars, keyboards, etc. But I never stopped to think about what all of this could mean to them until reading your poem just now. I love the title, "Cello Child" Not only do the c sounds shine, but it carries such a strong and appropriate force throughout the poem. This title also brought vivid pictures to mind of a child with a cello in hand making her way through the motions and playing along with this poem. I think it's great when a poet can not only tell a story but also invoke images through and with those words. We get so much more than poetry and so much more in depth meaning when this happens. You added some very creative memories and notions throughout that gently pushed the poem along, the pearls, and mother's memories. I wondered if you were this child at that point in the poem. Or, it could be your own child. In addition, this poem carries so much life, so much music in each line. You used perfect alliteration throughout which brings a smooth reading as the lines go by. It was almost jazzy for me, and I read it through several times for the experience (smile). Sounds the heartstrings (I think this line foretells that we will also discuss "life" as well as musical notes in the poem; great start; great tone setter) Written upon white parchment, (the white parchment brings another picture to mind, the actual notes, the sun shining upon this paper; this line brought a light, gentle feeling over me . . . ) Is bluer than forgotten forget-me-nots, (this is such a poetic line, and I adored the alliterative f's here) The music of self-discovery, (another very important line here, which shows that music isn't just about the music, but it's often more personal, it's about the musician connecting with the music to connect with life; self-discovery is a great part of it . . . as with all artists I think) The lost muse itself in recovery. (I can definitely identify with this line; it is why most of us write poetry, to find ourselves, to find out more about the life we live and how we and everyone else fit into the scheme of things, and I can definitely see a connection to this need for musicians in their music) It can find in the child, the way home, (this draws on the meaning that music or art has a purpose, that it is destined to find its way in the lives of particular people, namely this cello child of which you write, and I agree; it's much that way with musicians, artists, writers, etc. We feel that what we do is our destiny. We give life to art forms, and in the meantime, it brings so much more to us) Born by the song (another great line, one of my favorites) But for the teachers who would mute For the sound of convenience. Who are we, to dampen the notes Of a symphony in its’ infancy? THESE LAST FOUR LINES are so important, and I'm glad that it was a part of your poem. How often does this happen in life? A lot. I think about the singer Brandy, and how a teacher in high school told her that she'd never make it because she wasn't pretty enough. I think about myself and all of the people in my life who thought I'd never do half the things I've accomplished in my life, and when I think about these last few lines, I look to my sons . . . the last to lines "who are we, to dampen the notes/of a symphony in it's infancy?" This is why I let my sons bang away on their drums night and day (smile). One of my friends told me when I bought two sets of drums that either I was crazy or I loved my kids very much. Of course, I'm sure that it is the latter. I love them, and I want them to find their way, as you suggest, through whatever artistic form they feel incluined to do so. Lynda, this is such an awesome poem. It's both teaching and telling, and I think you have done a marvelous job rendering a poetic story of music and childhood and self-discovery. Excellent! Thanks for sharing. I truly enjoyed reading it. Latorial www.latorialfaison.com	2005-02-07 09:40:32
Right in the Rosetta Stones	James Edward Schanne	Every time I read your poems James, I am amazed at how well you write in this form. I know, I've said it too many times (smile). What I have found is that I like to read all of your poems at once, instead of going back and forth. It's great because it allows me to internalize the form as well as your style, and I'm able to think consistently when I'm reading and critiquing your poems. I fell in love with the words of this poem becuase 1. they are centered around such a natural and interesting theme. This poem has a geological backdrop that's so impressive and captivating. I felt as though I was in a classroom, but I also felt that it was a mixture of science and literature. What a combination! Again, with your well written first lines, you do it again with . . . "language through osmosis sent rock to rock" This very first lines throws the idea of science and words or lit. out there. Language and osmosis. I never really hear those kinds of words in the same room, let alone the same line. You are brave and very talented, and your exposure throughout your lifetime shines through in your poetry when you write lines like this. embedded in fossilized deposits meaning cements in sediment to clock a second tongue graveling its posits You continue with the conjoined idea in that first stanza with terms that stand out as well as illustrate pictures for the reader. Not only that, these words invoke feelings. I can't explain them really, but my mood changed when I read this poem. I actually felt as though I may have been exploring in some cave looking for fossiles, stalactites or some other forms of natural substance. A "second tongue graveling its posits" makes verbal the experiences that you bring out in this stanza, and again you tie the two themes together, science and writing or words. time will tell its minutes in a whisper sunken deep beneath interpretation repeated words never growing crisper sounding different in every formation The first stanza verbalizes more of a geological backdrop, but in this next one, you speak to the issue of words and language with "time will tell" and "minutes in a whisper." Then you go on with the words "interpretation," "repeated words," "sounds," and "formation." I liked the idea of them never growing crisper. Crisp words, what a great thought. I thought fresh word, good word, never disinteresting or displeasing words. Reminds me of your last poem "Sermonizing Sunday." I like to think of a fresh or "crisp" word delivered in sermons on Sundays. common needs laugh and cry their existence and dance beneath understandings spotlight coupling communication's distance with a now in constant motion's hot flight When I think of common needs laughing and crying, I think of life. I think of people, and I do think of words. Through words we are able to illustrate our innermost feelings and desires, hurts or joys. What I saw as absolutely beautiful in this poem was the idea of one "dancing beneath understandings spotlight." This is a great picture, a great thought, that someone would actually bask in the light of understanding. Sometimes understanding is so misunderstood, but I think you correctly place it into context in your poem. burns the feet that try to hold a still thought change tells the hands what evolution's wrought These last two lines are just like "all" of your last two lines. They are profound, deep, provacative and stilling. I am lead to think on "thought" and how they often are not still, and what happens when they do become "still." Thanks again James. Just keep on sharing these because they are so lovely to read, so rich with creativity, wit and intellect, but most of all -- life! You're a great writer. Latorial www.latorialfaison.com	2005-02-03 09:44:17
Sermonizing Sunday	James Edward Schanne	James, You did it. This reminds me of some of my older days in church as a younger child, when I was less interested for only childish reasons. However, I do suppose that this is still the typical Sunday for many people today. Once I went charismatic, I could not go back (smile). However, your poem still rings true for many of my friends. Actually, just last Sunday I was so tired, and I was really fighting to stay awake, because the Pastor's message was so good, but my eyes were so heavy, and just like your poem insists, I came alive with energy from some place near the end of his sermon, and I was glad, but I also hated that being tired caused me to miss a great deal of it. I stayed up too late the night before writing (smile). To begin with, I think that you have an excellent title. It's simple, yet captivating, and it rolls off the tongue to lead the reader into a great poem "Sermonizing Sunday." You stick to the title. You don't sermonize a sermon, but you sermonize the day . . . and you reveal throughout a myriad of thoughts and feelings that any worshipper or church attendee might feel or fathom on any given Sunday. "Therapeutic electrolytes charging" This first line truly set the tone for me, as first lines should. You come out with non topical or non spiritual words. They're scientific even, and you begin to disset the day with words like therapeutic and electrolytes charging. I thought this was a different approach, but a very good one to begin with. capacitors of spirit on the hunt where invisible photons are barging on unspace with an ineffable want Although your language is nothing like preachy, you still manage to capture the essence of reverence for Sundays in words like "spirit" and "want" in these lines above. You sermonize the day, yet you keep the underlying themes of it within the poem. I thought this was clever and very creative. "those beings of nothingness scratch away" Sunday is always a day of self reflection, and I guess it's good when we feel that the message is always directed toward us, because I think that's the whole purpose, to bring us to self awareness and betterment in life. The fact that on Sundays we're made to "scratch away" these bad feelings and administer the "head slapping smirks," as you say, is a pivotal part of being in service each Sunday. We go to church to wash away the sin and come back renewed to live better and love more. These lines illustrate that idea for me. "the paint glass day" Another wonderful, beautiful creative element here to allude to the stained glass of the church. Again, this takes me back. Most of the contemporary churches today have gotten away from the stained glass, and I know it's just decor, but I think that the stained glass helps to create an atmosphere of reverence, just my opinion. So, I was glad to see it mentioned in your poem as part of your "sermonizing." while a robed voice trys to instill a perk but cold ears are plugged with sunny beaches parables turn to dreams among the rows where worshipful snores drown out all speeches a last word wakes morals skipped and then pose This stanza above "drives the poem all the way home." The robed voice instilling perks, the cold ears plugged with the desire to be elsewhere the parables turn to dreams. These lines make real the point you are trying to make. The others were a great lead up to such a climax as this. And then you continue the idea when you speak of "worshipful snores" (smile) which I can certainly relate to. The last line of this stanza is very deep and meaningful. The "last word" waking "morals skipped" What a thought? That someone in the end, the purpose of the day is still ultimately reached, even through all of the distractions mentioned earlier in the poem. Sunday makes us "pose." It makes us pause and think about our positions in the world, our lives and how we live it. It's a consncience that calls us to better living I think. "questions for the back ground noise of the day" This line makes me think of how we leave the service reflecting on those pieces of the sermon that we do remember and questioning our own selves, our own lives as to whether or not we're living right. Very important line. In the beginning, your approach seems so light and care free, but in these last lines a seriousness abounds, and I think that's very effective. "opportunity waiting to display" That's what we are faced with after every worship, the "opportunity" to perform better based on what we've heard and learned. This is a great poem James. I don't know which one I like more this month. This one is so impressive because it draws the reader in, and it shares so many real thoughts about Sundays, but even deeper, you share some knowledge. You reveal, in an unexpected way, a sermon of your own. Thanks for sharing another awesome poem. I enjoyed this one immensely. Latorial www.latorialfaison.com	2005-02-03 09:26:48
Dialectic Diadems	James Edward Schanne	This poem is a "Dialectic Diadem" James. I always enjoy reading your carefully and perfectly formed verses because they just read so well. They "sound" like poetry. I'm going to be honest, I have been reading this one since the beginning of the month, and I am baffled. What I do know is that it's quite a tongue twister, one line in particular, and I thought . . . even if you didn't play with these words in the poem intentionally, they lock the readers lips in so many different ways and toy with yout mind. To begin with, I think that the title is very attracting. Most all of your titles have a mood of aestheticism ringing within them. If poems were worth gold, you would be a financially rich individual because there just seems to be so much dignity put into the poems. I honestly don't know how you do it, except to say that you are very talented and very gifted. The poem begins with a provoking line: "The ends of opposing means lead astray," and after reading this I do wonder where this poem will take me. I think that this is a key line and an important attention getter or pace setter because what comes after this line is far more complex, so it is a great allusion. "constant jawing grinds all the square pegs round" This line made me think of incessant talking and someone who perhaps turn boredom into excitement or the straight into the narrow. It made me think of people, old Englishmen who were much to square for the women they wed. I guess I've read one too many English country novels (smile). This line in the poem took me back to many characters of which I've read. "pummeled logic puts on heirs with lips bound" What's fascinating still is that throughout the poem you play on the them of "dialect," and here you write about pummeling logic putting on heirs with lips sealed or closed; this is great personification used here, and the words keep up a unique poetic sound . . . I thought of someone being very modest when I read this line, someone who actually knows a lot, but doesn't speak. This reminds me also of most of the men in my family: my grandfathers, my uncles, and even my husband. I thought the following two lines in the second stanza were simply awesome: "differences circumnavigating dice" (what a picture; sometimes I'm too much a literalist) "chances dot the landscape to quick a fix" and I thought "chances dotting landscapes to "quick a fix" was the tongue twister. The last part of that line made me smile because I almost didn't read it well (smile). What follows are more great lines with brilliantly created alliterative patterns that you write so well, and this poetic device reinforces the title that you began with. "loaded questions do the bidding breathed in" I thought this was another great line. It made me think of some sort of interrogation. Jsut last week my aunt used the phrase "loaded questions." She works at a correctional institution where almost half the administration seems corrupt. It seems that all of her days are filled with these "loaded questions" that you write about that do their "bidding" breathed in. It's funny how the words of others can make a point better than the mundane ever could. You write some great lines. "crowns made of divergent panaceas/wear thin on heads swelling with ideas" What a great line with which to end something like "Dialectic Diadems" I think that you have written a "truism" in this last line, and it's so appropriate and fitting for all that comes before these lines. Crowns wearing thin "on heads swelling with ideas" This line made me think of all the men in leadership in our world, and women too. Sometimes this is what I think of them. I see this last line in so many people, George Bush is one of them. I don't know what you meant by this last line, but thank you for finishing the poem with something profound as well as provocative. This is the kind of poetry that I love, and this is the kind of poem that I have to read many times to grasp hold of what it is revealing to me. I wonder what other critiquers will say. Whatever it is, it would have to be great. Thanks again. You have written another great poem James. I enjoyed reading and critiquing it. I hope I have done it some justice. Latorial www.latorialfaison.com	2005-02-02 18:09:40
Syncopation	Rachel F. Spinoza	Rachel, The title attracted me to this poem. I played trumpet for about 7 years in school (smile). I think that the first two lines of your poem are very, very important. You tell us who the poem is about, but you also make a connection with time, which alludes to the musical sense of it. It's a light poem, but it's so interesting and you have chosen words that fit just right for the style, format and subject matter of the poem. I've always thought that musicians were in a clasa all their own, and there was somethign about the "indigo couch" that confirmed it for me. They have flair. They have style. They are unique. I mean how many people have indigo couches, and even if the couch was the speaker's choice, he/she is in some way tied to the drummer, the musician (by blood or love . . . or both). You do a great job painting a picture as the drummer as a passionate artist here. We get the sense that it's been a late night working, and because of the tabloid, we get the sense that he's no amateur. Amateurs don't make it to the tabloids. He's obviously someone the world might notice, and this tidbit in the poem reveals even more. It's funny how some words can do that, reveal something magnanimous. This comes in hand in poetry where we like to paint vivid pictures using as few words as possible. I think you do a great job in the poem causing the readers to think and connect one thing with another. In keeping with your title and the fact that you write about a drummer/musician, the following lines fit perfectly in the poem . . . the morning is pulsing to the rhythm of your soft snoring I simply thought of drum beats and heart beats when I read these line and of course the soft snoring in between (smile). Very effective word choices and illustrations here. I love chai tea (smile). So, I know the aroma that comes with it. There's something about the chai tea and the musician again. It works much like the indigo couch, gives the reader reason to believe that the musician loves exotic or "different" things. He's not a person without style or taste. Neither is the speaker. Something about hiding the tabloid between the cymbals (which alludes to the fact that he could beat away the pain of such a story while playing and clashing away). My sons are on their 3rd set of drums, and I think it's therapeutic to just go down and bang on their drums every now and then. So, I could see some symbolism in losing the reality of the tabloid article within some parts of the drum, the cymbals. With drumming comes an enormous amount of noise and action, and I think that you show the versatility of this drummer by capturing his peacefulness during a good sleep and dreams that make him smile. Very interesting poem. I love music, and I think musicians are cool. Perhaps one of my sons will practice enough to be good at the drums. Thanks for sharing. I enjoyed critiquing this one. It's a simple poem, but it carries so much weight with its style and uniqueness. Latorial www.latorialfaison.com	2005-01-29 09:23:13
Yearnings Like the Lake's	Joanne M Uppendahl	Joanne, this is such a peaceful, calm poem. It's probably therapeutic, and would go really well with some soft sounds of nature. I think I love everything about this poem. Not only does it have a great soft, mellow mood, but the format that you have chosen seems to allow the poem to sway back and forth as you work your way through it. As a reader, I felt the sway as I ready the lines filled with such a natural talent. In stanza one you get us started by setting a beautiful, natural setting, and the alliterative sounds are so attractive to the reader's tongue. You feel exotic just reading the lines. Another thing that you complete really well throughout the poem is description. I have always found it hard to be specific about the physical beauty of nature. But you don't just call a cloud a cloud or a tree a tree. Your trees and clouds are personified. They sway and bow and see pictures of themselves in other facets of nature. I think this is what draws me in to your poetry so much, the fact that you are able to bring a different kind of life (our life) to the objects of nature. They are already living things (because that's how God made them), but you make them human, and we can identify with them through your creative touch. In several of your poems you have the trees and their limbs bowing, and I think that is such a marvelous gesture, that trees would bow. They do it naturally, and every time I see that, of course I'll think of you and your poems. I often see trees hanging with ice and snow or after a heavy rain, but I get a different picture when I read your poems. I see them bowing on a perfectly beautiful day through your words. "Poems leapt from bent braches," I thought this must be how it happens for you because this is the way the words seem to appear in these poems (that nature is such inspiration for you, and to look outside is to write poetry for you Joanne). This is a very solid, telling line in the poem, and I could say it's one that readers would remember you by. Finally, I thought the title was very endearing and interesting. The word "yearning" itself pulled on my thoughts, and made me want to see what this poem was all about. And in the context that the line was used in teh poem, I now see that this picture, as a whole, is nature (in all aspects) "yearning" for something through every tree, stream of water, cloud and drop of water. And ultimately, your own yearning is illustrated in every line of the poem as the objects of nature become you and you give the objects voice . . . and they become human. Thanks for sharing another marvelous poem with natural flair and style Joanne. I enjoyed reading thsi one too. Latorial www.latorialfaisons.com	2005-01-25 22:54:09
A Laissez Faire Life	James Edward Schanne	James, Again I say "How do you do this?" All of your poetry is marvelous, and I've read quite a few this month, but I don't like to critique unless I think I might have a firm grasp on the poem. The title of this one caught my eye, really as do all of your poems. I hope to get around to critiquing "Desermoning . . ." sooner rather than later. This poem in particular takes me back to the time when courting and finding a husband for women was a traditional task and the norm. Of course in many ares of the world, just not in America, it still happens this way. What I found most amazing is that you choose to merge the two issues of women and money. How clever were the terms and the language that you have used throughout this poem. It's amazing when you do that. Laissez Faire Life (As your title suggests it would be a fair life for women to worry about nothing but "obtaining" and "securing" through the act of looking for a gentleman. Although many women detest the idea of it all, more than enough enjoy the feat) Acquisitions are pursued and persuade (very nice ring to this line with the p sounds) a gathering of artifacts congeal (I thought it very interesting that you used the words artifacts to describe those things that we look for in a man's lineage to help determine how suitable he is) all the little nicknacks of desire spent in occupation of wants that thought bartering with emotions inspire what couldn't be made but by spirit taught (I think that you do a great job of merging materialism with emotions in this stanza with phrases like "nicknacks of desire" and "occupation of wants," adn then you come back with "bartering with emotions." Very rich terms. The elevation of the language in this poem,and all of your poems, is amazing, and it adds such a perfected air to the poetry and the topics being discussed.) speculations searching out investment in times commodity market rising with age an ever higher assessment bids up compressed minutes for resizing (This is the stanza where I thought you did an awesome job with the duality of the poem; "speculations searching out investment" this is such the task of fair ladies on the prowl (smile), and then the use of the phrase "commodity market rising" gave me the impression of men being a part of the NY stock exchange (smile), sounds facetious, but the similarities are there). Marriage was this big a deal, and it still is to many. It is something that shouldn't be entered into lightly. Long ago, during this day, women didn't necessarily look for love, they looked for someone who could take care of them forever. This is the underlying theme that I carry away from reading this poem. Excellent job with pulling this one together. Excellent. Thanks for sharing. Latorial www.latorialfaison.com	2005-01-23 05:25:39
A Letter from Mother	Claire H. Currier	Claire, I can definitely sense the peace that these words bring to you. I hope that you will find comfort in them over and over each time you read. I just wrote a poem to be faxed to a funeral home in Texas. My best friend's sister died this week. Your poem here deliverers what every bereaved family would love to hear, that their loved ones are doing alright. I think that most of all your poem addresses the question of what happens after death. If we believe in Jesus Christ, we stand firm in our faith that Heaven and Hell await those who pass from this world to the next. I think it's marvelous though to know a person so well, and to be able to have the sentiments that you share about your mother in this poem. There is no doubt where she spends eternity, and you make that known in this poem. Thank you for boldly penning such a touching letter. It helps us to not only write these, but to also read them from time to time. It reminds us of death and that this life is not promised to us. I gathered that there were so many special and happy times that you shared with your mother. I think you added just the right touch by including the things in the poem that were shared with family on a personal level. For example, the "me too" brought a sense of lifting to what most would consider a heavy thought to bear. A LETTER FROM MY MOTHER is a poem that definitely comes from within your spirit. Thanks for sharing your revelations with us, and I trust that your mother is resting in the arms of God. She made a lasting impression on you, and you can take comfort in knowing just that. Good poem. Latorial www.latorialfaison.com	2005-01-21 03:57:11
Reader	Joanne M Uppendahl	Very nice Joanne, You know I really liked this one. It takes something special for people like us to come back to the quiet place at TPL. I think there's something beautiful in both writing and posting the poetry as well as reading the work of others. I share the sentiments that you write about in this poem, and I do feel that they ring true from your heart. You have such a positive force here in both ways, as reader and critiquer. I think we can equate our relationships here to real life. I think that most of what we do here, however small it seems, is really what life (good life) is made of. I like the title of this one is simple. It's just who we are and how you see us, readers. And you push out the importance of readers to you, and how you are moved to write to be read all the more here. That's fantastic. I feel the same vibes often when I come here and read all of the great poems and all of the encouraging and helpful critiques. My favorite line in this poem is the last one. I just love how it sounds, but I love several other things that read so well here . . . Writing begins to flow (It's simple, but real. This is really what writing does in me too. It comes from somewhere, so many places deep inside, and it flows like rivers, like streams, like waterfalles sometimes, depending on the moment or the day) connected to mood or blood (definitely, the words flow out of either how we are feeling or who we are naturally, often biologically and all of that is so connected together. It's amazing that the words we pen come from surreal places as well real places) pounding behind my eyes, (we can always seem to see them before we write them, like little skits in our minds waiting to be released, acted out on paper through the pen or pencil or keyboard. Are we screenwriters and playwrights too? (smile), we could be) follows sensation in my bones (again you connect the act to our inner most beings, down to our bones. I'm a poet in my heart. I know that regardless of what anyone else says or believes. I can feel it in my bones. I completely identify with what you say. And the fact that readers come back time and time again to what lies within us is often all of the praise we'll ever need. Well, at least that's how I feel, and I have so much appreciation for the "Reader" who takes the time to read a little about me and what's in my head). of something a-borning which wants welcome but will come anyway, even with no place to land. (I love this line about coming eventhough it has no place to land. That's how I feel about so many poems that I write, and I often feel that the readers tell me truthfully where I've gone with it. That's why I love the critiquers here). It's not my fingers hitting keys nor words appearing on the screen or the electronic hum of the machine which cares not at all. (You're right. It's none of these things that we see. It's all inside. To others it appears to be the key tapping, screen staring thing for us, but it's not) It's knowing that you read. Though I cannot hear your voice nor see your smile or scowl, I long to write a page whose corner you will bend. (This is my favorite stanza/section. It's just the "knowing" that someone is out there, even when we don't know who it will be. We don't see them, but it helps to know that somewhere, some time, someone will take hold of a poem I wrote and think on it . . . Selah (smile). What a beautiful thought Joanne, and it sums up the real reason for why many of us do what we do. Poetry isn't a career, it's a passion for life). Thanks for sharing this one. I enjoyed reading it and rummaging through all of the thoughts you provoked on my way through it. It's about appreciation. It's about something so great, something we can't see, but yet it's so visible in our lives. I wrote a poem last week and the line said something like "some of the best people I've ever met are people I've never seen." And I was thinking of all of the people I've met through poetry, great, wonderful people all over the US and the world. I need to finish that poem. You've inspired me. Maybe I'll post it whenever I finish it. Great poem. Thanks again for sharing. Latorial www.latorial.com	2005-01-20 23:56:46
verse 36 (Ku Klux Klan) - revisited	Erzahl Leo M. Espino	Erzahl, you must have watched what I watched on TV last night, the section on David Duke. This haiku is awesome, and will certainly be on my winner's list this time around. The KKK is not dead, but very much alive in America today. They just don't where the robes and hoods as much. I love that you keep the k sounds coming in every world and every line. That's a very captivating effect, and it helps to keep the idea of the poem in mind as you read it. The words that you have used here are so descriptive and telling. You offer three statements of truth here, three major issues come out in such a small poem. The Klan has been one of the most evil and horrific organizations in America. Thanks for reminding us what it is they stand for. This keeps my eyes open and helps me to remember on this Kind Holiday what the fight for freedom and justice was all about. Thanks. Latorial	2005-01-18 14:48:23
verse 68 (Parents)	Erzahl Leo M. Espino	Yes Erzahl, this is where we are from. You put it simply and quaintly in this short poem, but I think that your words carry a lot of meaning. You speak of something poetically about which many of us may take for granted, until something happens. "From her womb we came" This is not only just a telling line, but it's filled with alliteration and assonance, great poetic devices to use in haiku and other short forms. The w's and r's and o sounds make this line come alive, and it's more than what it appears to be. It sounds beautiful and meaningful. "From his hands we were molded" Again, in this line there are the h and w sounds. But you take us to the other part of the equation. When we think of women, we think of wombs, but when speaking in terms of fathers, we speak of hands. I think this line is so important, and I think it makes a grave illustration on societal norms. It's believed in many traditions that fathers have the duty of shaping the lives of the children. Women were gifted by God to be able to bring life into the world, but men have the ultimate gift of being able to make his seed into something good or bad. "From them we become" . . . This last line brings it all together. This is very appropriate subject matter for a haiku. Both mother and father make children who they are and what they become. No one can be denied. Without mothers, there can be not fathers. And without fathers, there often is no production or maturing of the seed. There is no line 3 (smile). Thanks for sharing. You have a wonderful way of bringing life in your haiku This one took me beyond, and made me think even more on the beauty of birth and parenting and life. Great job. Latorial www.latorialfaison.com	2005-01-13 01:12:47
Cloudy Outbursts	Joanne M Uppendahl	Joanne, I can see that you had a lot of fun with this one. It's different, and really a breath of fresh air considering all that's going on in the world. I think we'll all look at rains and clouds a little differently after this year. I like that you personify the clouds giving them personality and character in every line. It makes me think on how we often take nature for granted often treating it as if its not really there. But this year, nature lets us know what it is capable of. From the earthquake and tsunamis to the flooding in California, we have been forced to recognize what nature and all of the elements can really mean in our lives. Your poem brings out this memory, but it's a good memory because God made all of nature. You give nature authority in these lines. I almost thought I caught on to a pattern as each stanza rolled on by. I like the idea of "flirty drops" and "Hives of rain bees," I had never really thought of those rain patterns in that way, but I will next time I feel a few drops tap me on my forhead, or when it comes down upon me like stinging bees. You have an awesome imagination, moreso a great gift for personifying things that are not human. Although clouds and rain are not human, they are definitely a "real" driving force in our lives. I think you give creedence to however it is they exist with each line of your poem. Congratulations on another good write, even if it is just for "fun." I had fun reading this one. Latorial www.latorialfaison.com	2005-01-11 23:57:03
On the Grief of Parents	Joanne M Uppendahl	Joanne, this piece is truly touching. Since I've moved to N. Chicago, I've made a new friend, another military spouse, whose oldes daughter committed suicide a few weeks before we arrived. God has allowed us to connect, and we often discuss what happened with her daughter. Losing a child is devastating, and I've always imagined that it's almost impossible to shake the feelings of loss and the grieving. I think that your poem illustrates the reality that you never stop grieving for the part of you that has gone from this world. You capture all of the feelings in a very poetic way that I believe are imagined by many. Writing about it whenever you want and for as long as you want is your privilege. My friend's daughter wrote poetry, and I have shared a good deal of my poetry with her as well. I will probably share your poem with her at some point as I believe that she agrees with every sentiment that you write in this poem. Thanks for sharing this one. It was more than touching. Latorial www.latorialfaison.com	2005-01-10 09:56:16
A Right To Rut	James Edward Schanne	Another of you fabulous writes James. To rut, to vent, etc. I like the thoughts that appear in this poem. Such are the ways and wonders of many writers. Thanks for sharing. Latorial www.latorialfaison.com	2005-01-09 12:11:50
Aleutian Getaway	Mell W. Morris	Mell, this was very interesting to read. Oh, to be Eskimo (smile). As a lady, I don't think I could have written this poem. Actually, let me take that back. It would be an interesting write. I wonder if there's any birth control used by Eskimo (smile), any made up or traditional methods. Overall, this poem was quite interesting and it read very well, like a little story. Throughout, as I gather you have researched this, you teach me something about the ways of the Eskimo. I am not a fan of cold weather, so I'd probably write about being Bajan or something (smile), some place warm and nice. Your poem is a great exploration of how we are driven to think from day to day and how we might often grow tired and bored with the mundane of our own worlds, so much so that we crave another, just for a moment. I was wondering, at one point in the poem, why you were preparing your escape plan. Was it because you really did not like the way or life or the way they offered up their women to strangers? I guess you put the plan on the back burner when you found out that you'd actually might be doing a woman a favor by relieving her of housework and other duties. Just wondering. Thanks for sharing a great poem. This was something different and enlightening to read. Good job. Latorial www.latorialfaison.com	2005-01-09 12:09:43
Christmas with Joe	Mick Fraser	This is a great Christmas recollection. It's funny how poems written by others inspire me to write on subjects. I've not actually attempted a Christmas poem like this one. I think that poems like yours are so important because they document memories that might otherwise be forgotten or go left untold. You have written about near and dear sentiments and people that you love, and you do it naturally. I'm glad that you shared this one. It shows that Christmas really is a special time to be shared with loved ones, whether we like to do it or not. When it comes to family, especially a younger generation, time is very necessary. I feel that so many older family members neglect an obligation to share with those coming up. Obviously, this poem encourages sharing special times with special people. Thanks for sharing. I enjoyed reading this one. Latorial www.latorialfaison.com	2005-01-07 21:43:00
Love Tide	marilyn terwilleger	This is lovely. It takes me back to the ethereal poetry written by the traditionalists, and you combine, with your language, so much of the contemporary with the ordinary style of poetry. It's a love poem that entices the reader from line one until the end. I felt like I was singing a song to my husband while reading this one. It reminds me of many, many letters that I have penned. Letter writing is an artform that we must continue to bring to the masses. Love Tide, I like how you bring two themes together as one, love and the sea. Poetry is off the chart when I see themes so well conjoined and fulfilling. Thanks for sharing. This is an awesome poem. Latorial	2005-01-07 00:10:11
I Named Him Ocean For His Father	Rachel A Couch	Rachel, This is a phenomenal poem, and I'm glad that I read it. It could be about a drowning or perhaps losing a newborn baby. Either way, the sentiment and the heart comes to surface in every line. This must have been a therapeutic poem to write. My favorite lines come from the following: sometimes i hear Your clever words put to another’s clever song. How does an idea belong to you? can someone own this wind that is avoiding us? Talking to others even though there's no response is healing and therapeutic. That's probably why people with pets live longer. They have someone to talk to who doesn't answer back. They just listen. Thanks for sharing such an endearing piece with us this time. I really like this poem. congratulations on it. Latorial	2005-01-07 00:00:55
Jack Frost	marilyn terwilleger	Marilyn, What a grand poem for the season. I spent an hour shoveling snow this morning in N. Chicago, so I could certainly appreciate your idea of Jack Frost, probably for the first time in my life or in a long time. Healing fingers of dawn . . . I love that you fill the poem with personification. You tinge on an aspect of life that has become commercial, yet you keep your poem grounded and warm, interesting and fun. Thanks for sharing another creatively done piece with us. Latorial	2005-01-06 23:56:38
verse 67 (Jellyfish)	Erzahl Leo M. Espino	Very nice and cute and simple and oceanic and natural Erzahl. I love reading your haiku. This one gave me a pretty picture of a free falling sea creature, peacefully descending, bobbing and weaving, to the ocean floor in search of nothing but continual existence. Thanks for sharing your creative works. Keep on keeping on. Latorial	2005-01-06 23:49:16
In the Sea of Sri Lanka	Jane A Day	What sadness Jane, and your poem brings the reality of this tragedy to life. Most importantly, you provoke our thinking about the latest events in Sri Lanka. What WAS the rest of the world was doing. What were the scientists thinking. Were they in uproar because they knew? It's sad that animals can see a storm coming, or they can feel it, but we often don't have the wherewithal to get out of the way. I don't know how we are going to heal from all of the wounds that we are accumulating as people, but in time, it'll happen. Thanks for sharing an interesting poem with us this month. Latorial	2005-01-06 23:47:36
The Rectification of Names	Rachel F. Spinoza	Rachel, this poem looks into a simple yet rich aspect of life. The act of naming . . . I think your word choice, the elevation of the language and the brevity of the lines make this an awesome poem to read. I could identify with many of the illustrations that you introduce in the poem. thanks for sharing a great read. latorial	2005-01-06 23:44:51
The Stones I Carry	Medard Louis Lefevre Jr.	Medard, This poem tells a story of how man can often be his own best enemy or a woman her own. It's amazing how we manage sometimes to ruin every good thing that comes our way, and it makes you think when you have all of that time on your hand to remember how you screwed up and how good what you messed up was. People, places and things, we are rarely able to get them back when we throw them away. I loved more than anything the form and style of this poem. You cleverly used a pattern and a line that sticks with the reader and just entices you to want to hear more and more and more stanzas as the intrique continues. Misery is often interesting. Thanks for sharing a part of your world and your writing. Great poem. Latorial	2005-01-06 23:40:08
Sanity Claus	James Edward Schanne	This last line is simply unique and breathtaking. It's a gift how you're sanely able to do this James. You have chosen just the right words to again incorporate two thinks, Santa and Sanity. How you bring the mental mind in wrapped packages or unwrapped, in this case, is amazing. Your poems have a duality that cut deep down inside, and somehow I'm able to read both underlying illustrations and go two different places when I read poems like this. What a cute couple, Santa and mental health. Are we all crazy for believing in Santa or just for lying to our kids. You could go a million places with this title, but you took us somewhere grand. Thanks for sharing another good one. Latorial	2005-01-06 23:34:46
Directions of Lost Passing	James Edward Schanne	Directions of Lost Passing is a "great" poem. It almost comes back down to earth with it's language and tone, but again you wondrously beautify and dignify a subject with your style. Imperfections do define us, especially when it comes to people like me. I don't mean to. But for some reason, I seem to have trouble forgetting the thoughts of others (smile). Inability runs weight to our toes . . . I think there's so much truth in the lines that you pen in this poem. This line reminded me of a conversation that I had just to day with someone about how we have a tendency toward feeling inferiority and it grounds us; it kills us. We kill our own selves because of what we allow to define us. Darn good poem, and it's truthful to life right down to the end. Thanks for sharing. Latorial	2005-01-06 23:27:33
The Encompassing Compass	James Edward Schanne	These lines are lighter than the others I've read by you tonight. I'm not sure if they're really lighter or just lovelier. As I read line one I felt as though the words were lifting me. This poem changes your mind and your mood. It's so ironic that it's subject deals with encompassing that which gives us direction. This poem set me on another direction. I actually am holding on to this one James that I might attempt a poem in this form. That's goign to be interesting. You've peaked a notion in me. Thanks again for a soothing poem. Latorial	2005-01-06 23:23:18
Renovating Thoughts	James Edward Schanne	You sure know how to dress up a poem and turn something as mundane as carpenter work into something mysterious. I like this title, Renovating Thoughts. When you do this thing with your poetry, you almost give the reader two stories in one poem. We can go with the literal or the metaphorical, the carpenter's work or the mind's work. Thanks for making me think deeper and deeper. This poem is evident that the mind is a beautiful thing. Thanks for sharing. Latorial	2005-01-06 23:20:24
Goldie Locks Bearing	James Edward Schanne	WOW! Talk about a sexual beast (smile). I think I like this one James. It's sexy. I can't remember if I'd read anything in your form by you that was so daring, maybe a time ago. But I love it when you bring a sexy back grop to the stage, and with this title, I wouldn't have guessed in a million years where you would go with this poem. But it's fantastic. It's interesting; that's for sure. When I read the first line, I knew I was going to have to read this several times, not because I needed to understand it, but because I'd like it. Sexual themes and poetry seem to walk hand in hand, and once again, with your vivid imagination and lovely gift of words, you take us back to where poetry first began, to the old school poets who loved to make love. Thanks for sharing another great poem. Latorial	2005-01-06 23:17:23
Mining Discrepancies	James Edward Schanne	James, Either you like coal mining stories or someone in your family did it for a living and passed the stories on down. You do a really wonderful job of capturing the essence of the duties. You give this profession some class. Usually we here all of the horror stories about coal mining, but you poetically do the office some justice, and it sparkles like the diamonds that can be found, right down to the last line. Thanks for sharing this one. I enjoyed reading it. Latorial www.latorialfaison.com	2005-01-06 23:13:32
Socraitic Time Keeping	James Edward Schanne	James, I don't know too much about old philosophers (I'm assuming here --smile), but need I say it, this poem is grand. All of your poems are. I feel like you put a wealth of time and energy into each one. Do you? How long does it take you to come up with poems of this magnitude. I'm not trying to flatter you, but your poems are so well written. What I love most is that you've adopted this form because you do it so well. I think I've told you that I feel as though I'm reading poetry from a brilliant mind of the past when I read something like this, "Socraitic Time Keeping." You and Shakespeare might be kin. To get to the poem, you also did an impeccable, interesting job of capturing the everyday uniqueness of life. You play on words so well ie. "patchwork of arguments" wrinkling time and so forth. I hope that decades down teh road some company like Simon and Schuster or Random House will find out about you and publish your great work. it deserves to be studied and adored. We all have our reasons for writing. I believe that mine has its place, and I know that your work suddenly does. I think that this poem speaks to the issue of time and how life equates to it. You draw on so many idiosyncrasies of the mundane like our movements, tongues talking, arguments and all kinds of misunderstanding and misinterpretations while we are slowly sinking, dying and coming to our ends. We and and life runs out of time . . . eventually. I think your poem brings that idea to life in a poetically elegant and intriguing way. I also walk away with the idea that it's okay to be okay with time, the fact that we are running out of it day by day. It reminds me of a phrase my brother-in-law always says, and it makes me laugh: "Jesus keeps the books." Great poem! Latorial www.latorialfaison.com	2005-01-06 02:24:39
Nightmare At My Street	Erzahl Leo M. Espino	Hey Erzahl, I've never heard of this in my life. I read your poem,and I kept wondering as i read it, what inspired you to write this one. But when I read your notes, I thought WOW! And then I wondered if someone based the movie on this. I guess we'll never know. All of this information that you have added is very interesting, and I plan to read all of the links. This is highly interesting to me. In fact, I'm going to pass it on to other friends and family. As for the poem, I was wondering how you lost a family member, and I thought, MY GOD, please tell me this kid does not believe in Fred Kruger (smile), but then I read your notes. This is so sad. I'm a black American, and even my grandparents have always said that eating before you go to bed causes you to have nightmares, and I believe that. However, now you have me really wondering if you can really die in those nightmares. So interesting. Thanks for writing and sharing the poem that sparked all of this interest. Happy New Year to you. Latorial www.latorialfaison.com	2005-01-05 03:09:29
Stripping Fall	James Edward Schanne	James, This is brilliant. I forgot how well you write in this form. There is absolutely nothing elementary about your style, and I mean it when I say that. I wish I could write like this (smile). This poem begans with the trappings of nature and the description takes you places, but underneath I am able to see a darkness, a truth that hides behind all of the words. I think you play with these words and bring out just enough to symbolize the abuse in this poem. And do tell me that there's some alluding to some form of abuse here. Poetry brings out so much in us and so many different interpretations. I love to read and be read. I love to see poems for what I see in them, but also for what authors intend. Congratulations on a super poetic rendition. I can't wait to read the others. Latorial www.latorialfaison.com	2005-01-04 04:38:02
verse 62 (Scarecrow)	Erzahl Leo M. Espino	This is different Erzahl. I kept reaching for religious undertones, but I don't think you meant there to be any. Please tell me that I'm right (smile). This is nice and fitting for Halloween, and at the same time, it's not too heavy or mystic or dark (all of the things normally associated with Halloween). Actually, I pictured the scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz while reading this. Guess you can tell I'm not too big on Halloween, but it's all in good spirit - your poem. I think the first line, the first two words "lifeless sentinel" sets a serious and telling tone/theme for the poem. we get a feel that something serious, something meaningful and illustrative will follow, and it does. "Crucified all day and night" Crucified is such a strong word to begin a line with, but I LOVE IT. Actually, whether you meant it or not, this poem has religious undertones. It reminds me of how many pastors preach the real meaning behind Halloween, and how we often allow our kids to celebrate it "without knowing" what the holiday is based on: ghouls, goblins, witches and ghosts. The fact that you would begin your second line with "crucified all day and night" just take me to Jesus Christ on the cross and how He died for the sins of the world. This is simply awesome for me. Such an awesome connection to make in just the few lines of a haiku, and that is what makes these poems so special, and it's also what makes those who write them extremely gifted and talented. You have taken something like Halloween and the Sacrifice of Christ and brought them into play (whether you intended to or not). To end with . . . "Keeper of the field" continues the metaphor of Christ. He's the keeper of the world for those who follow him. I can't tell you how much I'm beaming after reading this, but I hope my words give you some clue. I think it's fantastic that you have written and shared this at TPL. Poetry is phenomenal in every way, and you're an awesome poet with words like this to share. Do continue on. Latorial www.latorialfaison.com Keeper of the field	2004-10-29 01:19:10
Leaves	Debbie Spicer	Debbie, This is absolutely cute and adorably. I think the font that you chose really adds flavor to the haiku. Leaves (I think it's wise to continue to give haiku one word titles). The leaf laughs at me (I love the alliteration of the l's here, and I think that in the first line of the haiku is where the actual tone of the poem is set. I actually pictures leaves laughing, and I smiled. So this first line accomplishes a lot even if you didn't set out to do it. My mind became a pool of animation at the thought of leaves laughing. I pictured a Disney version of a big brown lead, with eyes and a smile just chitter chattering and looking around). As the rake holds it secure. (this also brings another flavor to the picture) see the others near? And here you continue the personification of the leaves. They not only smile, but they also see. I think that haiku are wonderful to write, and to see a good haiku means that there is a serious writer with some honed skills behind it. They're not all that easy to write. Anybody can write three lines with the appropriate syllables, but to come up with something zesty, creative and intriguing, takes talent. You have expressed great talent in this one. Thanks for sharing it at TPL. Good job. Latorial www.latorialfaison.com	2004-10-21 22:12:45
Raw Remains	Nancy Ann Hemsworth	Nancy, I like this title . It makes me think of the title "Nothing Remains." One, I like that this poem doesn't take forever to make a statement on a real issue. But you do it creatively andlightly. The words are just right. You don't bog your poem down with unnecessary blog or elevated language to talk about something as mundane as memories and "what if's." Most importantly, you set the tone of this poem in the very first line, and that's important. You begin with "I remember . . . " It's nothing extraordinary, but it's very appealing. This prose piece reads ever so clearly, and at the same time my thoughts were provoked as I am now forced to think of all of the things that I want to do and how I'm going to do them, so that my time doesn't come with what if's. Raw remains is what's left if we don't pursue our dreams or live so cautiously that we forget to enjoy it along the way. I like how you have made this personal and how you have shown that it's a pattern (your mother, and now you). Many things aren't natural, they are learned and passed down. I think that almost anything can be passed down if newer generations are afraid of change. Fear is a terrible thing. It's a type of paralysis that could lead to "raw remains" or nothing remaining. Overall, I hope that this poem was revelatory write for you, and while some things may have passed on, you still have an opportunity to seize the day, those that are left. Enjoy life. And enjoy the memories that you create. Great poem. Thanks for sharing it this month. Latorial www.latorial.com	2004-10-19 17:20:53
A Beam of Life	Debbie Spicer	Hi Debbie, Your commentary and the article you read and based this on are so true. As I read the poem I found myself praying for a rhyme (smile). Just one . . . I love the way that you have this formatted, but I think the 4 and 5 lined stanzas had me desiring to hear that extra ring throughout the lines. You have taken the time to reflect on smiles and what they do and don't mean in the lives of people. This reminds me of a poem that I wrote entitled "Bring Yourself to Smiles." I might did it out and share it (smile). Smiles are so healing, and I love the fact that you discuss in this poem how others selfishly OPT OUT of offering an everyday smile to just brighten up someone's day. I figure a smile does not cost us anything, right? I do have my moments, and I get upset like everyone else, but most people remember my "smile." I hope that continues even after I'm gone. In the second line (you probably already caught it) there is an extra "a" in the line, probably a mere typo. I didn't find anything else wrong with this poem. It speaks a great truth. I like how you begin with t ellign the readers that a smile is not, should not be a sacrifice. It's just an additive given by God. We are all different. We look different, sound and act different, and even in our world of good and bad, pretty and ugly, God gave almost "everyone" the gift of being able to offer a smile. It's the least expensive offering that we have. Thanks for sharing this one at TPL and reinforcing for me a thought that resides in the back of my mind. Nice poem. Latorial www.latorial.com	2004-10-19 08:55:29
Blade In Hand	DeniMari Z.	DeniMari, this is heart piercing poem that I think is absolutely phenonmenal for the passion that it houses in every line. I don't think that "Blade in Hand" does your thoughts a real justice. I think that "Blade in Hand, Death Can Wait" would really bring out the fervor of this piece (and this is only a suggestion in the event that you decided to revisit or revise this poem). I can see how and why you chose "Blade in Hand" for the title, the words in the poem are so vivid and piercing each time I read them. What I thought as I read these lines was that here is someone who has been stepped on or hurt once too many times, and the poem illustrates such a pivotal moment, not only in this person's life, but also the lives of millions of people who have stood in these shoes. What I find so amazing about this poem is that what transpires in the lines that you write can happen or has happened as suddenly as it occurs in this poem. A blade in hand can take a person from one extreme to the next, from death to new life. Boy was I glad to read the last stanza: "death can wait Freedome becksons . . . " And this is this real reason why this poem is necessary and important and gives meaning to life. You have shown someone the way. You have empathized and sympathized with those who struggle with the idea of inflicting violence on themselves or someone else. You have helped a suicidal person rethink what it is that he/she really has to live for. You have given someone in trouble hope with this poem. Anytime this happens in poetry, it's a success, and I thank you for writing and sharing this poem with us at TPL. It's a serious write, with literaray depth and so much meaning that relates to life. Excellent poem. Latorial www.latorial.com	2004-10-19 07:39:07
Flower haiku #1	Joanne M Uppendahl	Okay Joanne, we're on to flowers now. Where does all of this inspiration come from? (smile). Do you have a garden or do you surround yourself by beautiful plants. Actually, just reading all of your haiku, I can tell that you are very in touch with nature. That's a good thing. I admire all of the nature poems that I have read here this month. They are a Godsend for me because they allow me to take my mind off of the mundane and concentrate momentarily on something surreal and natural. I like how you began this one. It's a little more cocky than the rest. To begin with the word "rowdy" was another good idea in this haiku too because it sets the tone. I think you've perfected that technique, using the first words to set the tone of your haiku. Rowdy iris leaves. Again, those r' sounds tickled my fancy. cut turqoise skies in pieces (this is such a beautiful play on words and personification). The word ROWDY and now the iris leaves are CUTTING things to shreds. What a thought! (smile). And they come back to offer "gold" something beautiful, rare and priceless. Those darned irises (smile). Your haiku always make me think. Not only are they literaly images, but you metaphorically speak to reader on another level with these short renditions. This is wonderful. Leaves cut the skies to bring gold. This is a priceless thought and grand verbiage adding creedence to what you have written. Excellent. Thanks for continuing to share your talent with us. Latorial www.latorial.com	2004-10-17 21:18:25
Edge of a Ledge	Primrose Maclean	Man, what a succint and brief, but excellent poem capturing the essence of what could or did happen on a ledge. This poem goes beyond suicide. Suicide, in my opinion, is the face value of the poem, and that may have been your intention (to have it entirely about that). But having been a literature student before, I hahve learned to read too much into things and to actually find more. You have offered up a great poetic rendition on which to do so. I like the subtlety of the lines. I like the way the poem easily unfolds, almost like unwrapping a package. You never know what you're going to get until everything is exposed. Another great thing that you have done in this poem is illustrated the "flip-side" of the situation. Most people think that lots of people have committed suicide to get a reaction out of someone they are leaving behind (parents, a boyfriend/girlfried, spouse, etc.). But here, you give us the other side of "suicide." You talk about being pushed, and then thirdly, you talk about being pushed and having the person who pushed you to it lie about it or not disclose the truth. When I first looked at this poem, I thought, my this is cute and simple and profound, but the more I read, the more you provoked my thoughts and made me think of "Suicide." And like I've said before, this poem is about so much more. We can look at the "edge of a ledge" as being about anything that's seriously risky, anything that could cause one to lose his/her life. It could be drugs, alcohol and other types of obvious dangers. Thank you so much for sharing this poem at TPL this month. This is just the kind of poem that I enjoy reading. It not only reads like a poem, and sounds like one, but this piece possesses the inherent qualities of good poetry. It causes its readers to think about each word and exactly what they mean. Even after the poem is over, the reader is left to ponder on the words. Great job poet, and I look forward to reading more of your work. Latorial www.latorial.com	2004-10-17 20:44:47
Tree haiku #3	Joanne M Uppendahl	Another beauty Joanne, In the first line I love the alliterative w's. I love alliteration, and I tend to use it a lot in not only my poems but also in public speeches (smile). But you begin this haiku well getting straight to a very important illustraion of the "tree" blossomed trees exhibit mute watercolor sounds This is awesome. Again you personify the trees and bring something creatively wonderful to life. MUTE watercolor sounds suggest that the trees sing silently a beauiful color. That's a profound statement there, but it's also a great observation to make about the nature that God gave us. In everything there is beauty, and you tend to have found the best in the trees that you personify and bring ot life in your haiku collection. Thanks for sharing this one. I also had a very peaceful feeling come over me as I read this poem. It was as if the heavens smiled as I read that last line. Great job. Latorial www.latorial.com	2004-10-16 18:15:21
FORBIDDEN AFFECTION	Debbie Spicer	This is beautiful Debbie. The words ebb and flow throughout the poem very nicely. Aside from the poetics of this poem, the most important, most glaring thing about this poem is the meaning that it encompasses. You tell a great story of a love that you have for this special someone, and I think that it is all said within the right frame of mind. It's a love that seems to not be able to exist. It can be devastating to find yourself in a position like this, because love is such a beautiful thing. It can also be a very dangerous thing. It's also obvious that you know the ground that you are treading on with love in this poem, and I see this as not a threatening poem, but a rendition of letting this other individual know the depths of your feelings. It's a poem that had to be written, feelings that had to be revealed. It's a telling poem, and that's what makes it special. Thanks for sharing it at TPL this month. I certainly enjoyed reading it. Latorial www.latorial.com	2004-10-16 18:03:55
Willwind	Regis L Chapman	This is a great lamentation/testament Regis. I've been out of the loop for a while on TPL. When you say "going back to temple," what do you mean? Are you going there to volunteer, to commit to ministry, to help hurricane victims, etc. Excuse me for not kowing, but I am curious and do want to (smile). I think that this poem read simply and wonderfully. It's the kind of poem that I write when I allow my sould to actually be still and think on what it is I'm here to do, and it appears that there is a lot of personal reflection and introspection revealed in this poem. You have such power over the words here, and the illustration is clear and poetic. You talk about will and power, and those are two key elements to happiness, survival and salvation in this life. Whatever you're going to do, you will make a difference in the lives of those you are there to help. Sincerety is genuine, and that's what I gather from this poem: sincere intentions. God bless you in your endeavors, and I look forward to reading more. Excellent poem. Latorial www.latorial.com	2004-10-16 17:51:56
My Children - Lost But Not Forgotten	Nancy T Bindhammer	Wow Nancy, This is quite a sentimental piece, and I hope that singing it makes you feel better. Losing children is such a hard pain to take and move on. I guess you never move on. And to think that you have lost 3. Were they triplets? Or separate occasions. I gathered that they may have been triplets. I think that you have been very creative here when detailing how the loss has made you feel and putting down your experience on paper. It probably helped to just write these things down. I hope it was therapeutic and healing fof you. This is why I write, to make sense of life and all the chaos, the unforseen things and the mishaps. All things in time. Thanks for sharing, and I'm glad you can be strong enough to write and share this experience with others. Good job. Latorial www.latorial.com	2004-10-13 18:19:32
Moon haiku #2	Joanne M Uppendahl	Aaaaaaah, here's the other picture, the version of the half-moon, and I am intrigued by your description of it as a "fickle" moon with a half-smile beaming with something that it has stolen from the son. You sure do know how to bring personification to its highest levels Joanne. I think that out of the three, this one is my favorite. Because remember I write about mostly humanity, and this haiku gives personal attributes and character traits to the moon. Who knew? Every line is filled with descriptions and images. If we didn't have your title or the word "moon," this one could fit a person or thing perhaps. If there are more, I will truly read them. It's very interesting how you are able to capture such a wonderful glimpse of reality and nature in such a poetic sense. I love you work, and I love this haiku. The moon has been known for being sexy and for being full on nights where things have happened, but you give it life in a whole new way here. Thanks for sharing. Great job. Latorial www.latorial.com	2004-10-13 17:59:40
Moon haiku #1	Joanne M Uppendahl	Joanne, I didn't realize that I had 1 and 2 still on my list. I really like this one because of the s sounds (smile). Silver sickle. Those two words set the tone, the temperature and everything for this one. I can actually visualize the scene that you portray in just these brief words. There are mountains with snowy peaks, a sea of water and a beautiful silver moon shining (and there's probably a great reflection off the water) as the snow and icicles glisten in the night. This is natural beauty. Thanks for sharing it. I enjoyed reading it. I'll have to read number 2 now. Great job on this Moon Collection. Latorial www.latorial.com	2004-10-13 17:55:04
MY THOUGHTS ON POLITICS	TJ Daniels	That's right TJ! Thanks for sharing your thoughts on Politics. You either land on one side or you straddle the fence. The thing about elections is that, no ONE candidate is the one percent best. In actuality, I feel as thought I'm forced to vote for the lesser of two evils this year. However, I will consider all of the issues and vote for the candidate who I feel loves people the most and himself or his image less (than the other candidate). Leadership is all about serving, not being self serving. I'm glad you came along with this and kept my fire burning. Thanks for sharing it. It's a light, but tight read to post during a very important time. Thanks, and great poem. Latorial www.latorial.com	2004-10-13 17:45:59
Listen, Missy!	Andrea M. Taylor	Andrea, you are so right (smile). Wow, I've never read this in a poem before, but I'm glad that you did. I just ended a conversation with a friend who fears that her daugther might be making the wrong college decision. With young people and older ones, especially who have close families, it's always an issue. Choosing "Mr. Right" is a major thing for a woman, and in most cases, it has to be someone the family enjoys if you enjoy your family. You have written a poem that most teen-aged girls will be able to identify. There are plenty of horror stories about daughters bringing home Mr. Wrong. The good thing is that you will "treasure" many things and many people, and if it's meant to last, it will. I believe in love, but I mostly believe in destiny and fate. If it's wrong, it's wrong. But when it's right, it'll take flight. Thanks for sharing a great poem which provoked my thinking. Great job. Latorial www.latorial.com	2004-10-13 17:42:21
Moon Haiku #3	Joanne M Uppendahl	Hi Joanne, You must be writing a collection or just flirting with the season here. I'm enjoying reading your haiku. You place us in celestial peace with these well developed, brief poems. The brevity proves the seriousness and the depths of your craft. These are simply good, and every time I come across writers who can write about nature and the night time or natural elements so wonderfully, I blush -- because I can't. Most of my writing is bogged down in some serious social issue (smile), but I find pleasure in it, and when I read haiku and poems like these, like yours, I think I'm reading a writer who will live a long time because you have learned how to find the peace, quiet, and the calm in the midst of your writing. If you've mastersed it here. You've more than likely mastered it in your mind. Thanks for sharing a wonderful haiku. I absolutely adore the last line, "flirts with the high stars" Excellent. Latorial www.latorial.com	2004-10-13 17:38:01
Poem Title	Poet Name	Critique Given by Latorial D. Faison	Critique Date

Displaying Critiques 101 to 150 out of 191 Total Critiques.
Click one of the following to display the: First 50 ... Next 41 ... Previous 50 ... Last 50 Critiques.

If you would like to view all of Latorial D. Faison's Poetry just Click Here.

Click HERE to return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!