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Poem Title	Poet Name	Critique Given by Turner Lee Williams	Critique Date
Tomorrow's Forecast	Rick Barnes	Rick--Just an excellent metaphoric/analogous relationship inference. From inception of the superb title through this imaginative matching/ follow-up verbiage, an offering well thoughtout, humorous, witty and entertaining. Moreover, the incomplete ending, a stroke of dramatic genius and is in direct coorelation with theme and tone. Tight, terse and tantalizing post. TLW	2005-08-28 19:05:49
Our Time	Audrey R Donegan	Audrey–You’ve impressively penned a dual positioned piece: (1) title encompasses a significant other while the first three stanzas meta- phorically/poignantly inferences scribe (only one) being acutely aware of prophesied inklings and future date with pious destiny. (2) Not so subtle twist/turn of last strophe ties protagonist, title and reader to present/real world, where significant other is center stage in admirable/enivable/secular/passionate relationship (...a bird in the hand is worth more than two in the bush...). IMO, this is a parallax of ‘free will’ prioritizing (if purposely done a stroke of genius, any other reason is fortuitous). Whatever the case, this post makes for a very interesting read. Sorry if I missed your point(s). TLW	2005-08-27 13:41:33
Don't Get Around Much Any More	Mell W. Morris	Mell–Your presence sorely missed on all fronts, but keenly aware that any energy directed toward your afficionados is a plus-smile. Enough fawning already, but just glad to see this post from you. Although the title could easily be the theme for a blues song, the piece itself doesn’t have a doldrums feel. Of note is a short list of what this reader perceives as protagonist favorite blues/jazz musicians (of course a list of this stature would never ever be without “JOHN COLTRANE”). Scribes penning is not only adoration for these renowns whose euphonious sounds seem to soothe or lessen whatever ails Mellita, but tribute to a genre that have long been standards for legions of seasoned ears. “Thank...,” as one TPLer said, (sometime ago) “...for my Mell fix.” TLW	2005-08-27 13:08:48
We Love Yet	Kenneth R. Patton	Kenneth--IMO,A metaphoric piece references lovers exchanging pledges and keepsakes; "Our tears mingled caught in a jar then hung around our necks Each in an amulet" And, for whatever reason something causes both parties some consternation, but still the relationship endures; "Our fears mingled sent from afar then flung from our lives …and we love yet" The short unpuncuated rhyming poem is musical in its read while also serving as a testament to this undaunted love. Thanks for sharing this terse post with your fellow TPLers. TLW	2005-08-26 20:52:37
The Dirt Farmer	Jordan Brendez Bandojo	Jordan--IMO, a dual tribute: to farming and patriarch (giving a majority tilt to the father-smile). I can personally attest to the backbreaking hard work involved, since I was a sharecropper in Georgia during my formative years. And, true the satisfaction derived therein; "Early morn, he ambled to the grange Equipped with farming tools His mind directed merely to a sole purpose To till the soil for his family to survive." Your vivid imagery throughtout aptly honor the much unappreciated "...Dirt Farmer/your father, esp.;" "My father is a dirt farmer He has uplifted the dignity of labor Through his untiring hands That cultivate the farm to be rife with good harvest Making our place a breadbasket. I love my father More than I love farming." Thanks for sharing this personal/heartfelt narrative. TLW	2005-08-24 10:41:37
Morning Prayer	Joyce P. Hale	Joyce--The simplicity of this write belies the genuiness of its reverence: graciously stated piousness without pleading/begging; thanksgivings for those mundane events that are taken for granted because we've been spoiled by a loving creator. This "...Prayer" deserves wider readership as is. Well thoughtout and perfectly presented. TLW	2005-08-24 02:46:35
I Think I Will	marilyn terwilleger	Marilyn--Absolutely nothing complicated here, but it no doubt will receive mixed reviews/slants from several factions due to a myriad of religious belief(s)/differences. However, if one believes in an afterlife or salvation or purgatory/heaven/hades, the questions posed in stanzas #1/#2 are bound to arise and can only be answered by The Almighty. At this late date, I to think I'm not afraid to die, but would like to leave this "world" as painless and gracefully as pos- sible. However, I feel we have very little to say about how, when and under what conditions/circumstances we make our departure. Thanks for posting this theme as food for thought. Hopefully, the response(s) will be as sober as the write. TLW	2005-08-24 02:18:17
The Farmer	marilyn terwilleger	Marilyn–I was raised on a farm/ranch eons ago and nothing has changed: flora and fauna needs H-2-O to thrive. Your personified rhyming narra- tive dramatically and vividly captures the plight of farmers/ranchers when drought/near drought conditions exist. Thankfully, this story has the great redeeming twist/turn. Supreb suspenseful metaphoric storytell- ing throughout made my eyes well with tears, esp; “At the second turning of the fourth row With parted lips and straining eyes he gaped, The swollen sky broke and sunk where he stood. He felt healing rain as over fields it draped On bended knee he cried and God understood. “ (WOW!) A great gambit of emotions/dramatics/piety stuffed in this post. You’ve just raised the bar for storytelling at TPL. This is realism plus!TLW	2005-08-22 13:28:29
Play For Me	Medard Louis Lefevre Jr.	Medard--It is good to see this post from you.Superb lyrical appeal directed toward scribes object of adoration/affection/enamorment. This single (comma) puncuated five stanza quatrain is sequenced artfully through a simple set of subsequent pleas to an intricate/ultimate request. Great flowing arrangement, however,IMO,the same part of speech (adverb) at the end of each refrain (namely, stanzas #2 and #5) will enhance the flow even more (or maybe not); "Play for me Your song so *timely*" "Play for me Your song so *beautifully*" I hope my suggestion (only) is helpful, not a distraction to this excellent poem. TLW	2005-08-22 10:31:50
There's No Place Like...........	Paul R Lindenmeyer	Paul--Written like scribe may have played this game before-smile. The baseball vernacular is tight with all the right moves (presented by a true fan of the game). I found myself racing to the next line in order to see how this played out. Excellent suspense and insider knowledge of apt nuances for this seasonal piece. Over all vivid imagery of an exciting ballgame, especially the great ending; "The "Pop!!", *concurrence* by the ump, "Yerr Out!!!" No place like home..." This post show baseball in a favorable light as America's greatest past time! Thanks for sharing-go Angels. TLW	2005-08-19 21:34:53
Pole in Hand	Claire H. Currier	Claire--A great nostalgic fish story-smile. Thanks so much for this bond- ing narrative with its sorely needed bit of levity. This is a welcomed conversational like post, vividly recalling the events of a bittersweet escapade during a memorable outing. I am sure anyone who has gone fishing can identify with some similar mishap with fishing gear, especially hooks/ lures. Thanks for reminding me of the new unused reeling rods that I've had for years, but never got the liscense needed in order to use them-smile. A simple but heartfelt personal write. TLW	2005-08-19 05:59:01
Easy	Kenneth R. Patton	Kenneth--Your simple title belies the import of your theme and tone for unconditional/unbridled love. The over-all verbiage is like laser bullets striking the heart dead center. If only love in the real world could be so uncomplicated; so tolerant; so compromising. The hyperbole of the final stanza is goose-bumpy (WOW!) and my favorite lines of all eight vivid imageries; "To live so light and airy Our own footprints can’t be seen" You've definitely grabbed the attention of this reader with your well thoughtout post. Great stuff.	2005-08-18 22:02:34
Excitement	marilyn terwilleger	Marilyn–Another intimate inferenced cinquain. Tasteful and subtle the subject broached: whatever answer given, there will be no losers (it’s a win win proposition-smile). P. S. Stay away from the Asti, Chardonnay and Zinfandel. TLW	2005-08-18 21:21:24
Love	Audrey R Donegan	Audrey--Unique presentation/outstanding layout. Age old theme with eyecatching and interesting attention getting idea: scribe/protagonist uses vivid imagery to relate adoration and enthrallment for this particular beau. Well done! TLW	2005-08-18 11:49:38
Shadow's Last Sigh	marilyn terwilleger	marilyn--I didn't hesitate to look for the initial post. After HEARING this title, I dove in! This enjambing personified rhyming (shadows/meadows; land/ sands; plain/grain; lea/seas/trees; shade/wave) terse piece reeks of subtle poetics: every word caresses the tongue, but especially; "Slithering night folds its shade, wily (Oxymoronic/personification/paradox/ winds wave adieu to shadow's last sigh" tongue twisting'Ws'/everything-wow!) Verbiage not only present vivid imagery, but also produce sonorous rhythm. Five pieces packing a nature punch-smile. TLW	2005-08-17 11:49:58
Contradictions	Audrey R Donegan	Audrey--You've captured the true essence of life's on-going cycle. Not always pretty, happy, or even sad, but consistently and constantly filled with these "Contradictions" penned in your List/Narrative/Personified post. Never have truer verbiage been postured; "These days are filled with life’s contradictions, A timeless story weaving, unfolding As we turn the pages." As long as we are alive, this will always be the case for our celebrations. Well written free verse with vivid imagery for all the senses. Great show! TLW	2005-08-17 10:46:41
Middle East	Jana Buck Hanks	Jana--You've certaintly captured a genre of this culture. I spent almost five years in this region (1968/70/75/87--Far East/Middle East) and can verify your penning as being right-on and done quite poetically! The imagery and layout of this is enhanced by lack of punctuation, which makes this an eyecatching, pleasant, heart pump- ing quick read. A tastefully and sensual write. TLW	2005-08-13 10:53:36
Green Grass	marilyn terwilleger	Marilyn--Protagnist quite busy in this narrative, but what a journey! This title/theme/tone, reminds me of the reversal of an adage: "the grass is always greener on the other side". However, the arduous trek- king inferenced here dispells that premise. Conversely, some aspects of travels (forest, sea and desert) limned as doable. It doesn't matter, the cause of these whimsies, but in the end scribe/wanderer plays her ace-in-the-hole; "I looked where I had been and tried to see where I was going. Then I went home... where the Grass is ever greener" The last stanza initiates and completes a heartfelt redeemption by a grateful protagnist. Good story line, excellent imagery, great write and super read. TLW	2005-08-09 11:22:51
Captive Soul	DeniMari Z.	DeniMari--This post, IMO, starts out inferences someone whose expectations from life has fallen short of what was expected; "...she sighs away into slumber Heavy heart flees to dream another life filled with fantasies" In search of a life different than the one being experienced protagonist finds temporary solace; "...she drifts beyond the universe far deep to sleep in wonderland An echo of activity will stir her once in a while..." Through an epiphany/free will "Captive Soul" realizes the problem is within her- self and therein lies redeemption; "...A soul is to choose, think and feel good wisdom sheer divine indifferent being the affliction holding her prisoner of her own design Some well placed rhymes (hand/wonderland; deep/sleep; while/smile; divine/design) contributes to poetics and enhances the message of this melancholic read. I took from this that each person is responsible for making their own happiness. Sorry, if I missed your intended purpose. TLW	2005-08-06 16:58:36
Upon Her Leaving	Rick Barnes	Rick–-I’ve been there, done that and have a divorce decree to prove it. Scribe has limned an effective dramatic narrative rendering what happens to a great number of married couples in America (over 45% w/children; 66% w/o children). I only hope that breakup of this family is fictional. Inference via title paints the fairer sex as the lone culprit. IMO, this Poem of Address presents a literal theme of an ever growing trend in these times. This conversational styled piece has a sardonic, realistic, and redeeming tone. A melancholic read with excellent and apt images depicted. The post clearly recalls for this reader similar circum- stances. Thanks for sharing another well written glimpse of the real world. TLW	2005-08-03 23:02:54
The Red Hat	Mell W. Morris	Mell–“The Red Hat” threw me. I mean the title–why red hat for this? Well my theory: because it’s noticeable (stands out in a crowd); a leader might wear such an adornment. If it was-- brown? or gray- would we be concern? I don’t think so! Sorry, trying to delay misstating your intents. In the past you’ve posted many tri- butes to bards and their contributions. Your admiration/adoration for them and the genre have been quite candid and well stated (“poets are the conscience of nations”--who said that?). One has to only peruse a smattering of your offerings (I highly suggest a few of my favorites-Terra Incognita; Every Poem An Autograph; pernicious anomaly; Judging By the Cover; The Texture of Blue; Portrait of Loss As Three Styles of Music) to discern the gift you possess for diction, euphony, insight, imagination and empathy/sympathy; “A poet is compelled to write his vision of the world, to remake things the way he wants. He cannot leave the world alone...he has tried more than once. To understand a poet and his work is proprium for those interested and not an easy task. A poet I describe always keeps his enchiridion at hand and I wonder if it helps him hear (hues) of purple lilacs and taste the sound of (blues) Coltrane wails from his sax.” Poetess personal take on poetry (an astute “ars poetica.”) is a teaching tool for the aforementioned attributes. Utterance of mundane striving via calculated odds to obtain serenity is the perfect coda; “Moving slowly inch by inch...to the other side.” P. S. During my stay at TPL I’ve offered different forms of poetics and you’ve always been kind enough to take notice of them. You’ve definitely influenced my improvement the most: suggestions on rewrites, calling attention to syntax goofs and rendering candid comments. Because of you my home library now contains “Eating the Honey of Words”; “Leaves Of Grass”; “West Wind”; plus others. More- over, my Funk and Wagnal has become dog-eared. Your presence for the past two years has been nothing short of inspiring. Thanks. TLW	2005-08-03 22:49:54
Bob's Name Is Roger	marilyn terwilleger	Marilyn–-Sorry, but I didn’t do any reviews in June or a few other months. In order to get some background on “Bob” I read your lead post. It is just as poignant and heartbreaking as this sequel due to the subject matter and what our family was/is going through. Every so often a poem is posted which moves me to comment without critiquing–this is one of those poems. On the surface your narrative is a very calm and mundane conversation (if having a conversation in a place like this--under these circumstances can be ordinary), but for me the undercurrent is an emotional noisy gut wrenching blast! My composure during this read and at the medical center when given the “diagnostic talk” is and was far from stoic. Thanks for relaying this beautifully scribed and heartfelt follow-up. The compassion shown in this and your prior post touches me deeply. TLW	2005-08-02 11:13:27
Epiphany	Latorial D. Faison	Latorial–-Your “revelation” is clever while requesting an idealist racially harmonious America. “To view rainbows for The first time colored,...” the universal “melting pot” revisited (so to speak). The inference is for inclusion of all citizens in the spectrum (no matter their race). This Japanese Verse (as E. would say) is more Senryu (human nature theme) than Haiku (nature theme); “...not in Strands of blacks and whites” Yes, these narrow constraints has been detrimental in “several cases!” Superb title, true to form, excellent subject and wonderful theory. TLW	2005-08-01 21:45:14
Sigh	marilyn terwilleger	Marilyn–I see you’ve graced us with another gem from your newly discovered form (cinquain). Judging from this and your previous post in this genre–you’ve found an apt outlet for that subdued amorous side-“Smile” (hah ha hah). Se- ductive title, theme and tone made me “Sigh” also. I’ll have to attempt one soon. Great job! TLW	2005-07-31 19:33:46
Healing the Breach	Latorial D. Faison	Latorial–The title almost lulled me into thinking you had planned on using a new approach with your same dogmatism-smile. This layout, the poetics, admonishments, inculpatory evidence and exculpatory proof is a sequenced roadmap for“A Glaring-Lack Of-Casus Belli.” IMO, this is no Gloom and Doom piece, but a factual, laconic and well documented running tab of incumbents’ egocentricity, revenge tainted, cupidity (petroleum motivated) and grossly inhumane TRIP! Keep writing. TLW	2005-07-29 08:51:24
Bless Me, Father	Joan M Whiteman	Joan–I don’t recall reviewing any of your work before this, so welcome. This is a very dark theme piece you’ve presented, but a true rendering of well documented reprehensible acts by ogres professing to be devout followers. Furthermore, their hidden sexual misconduct has not only left many lives wrecked/destroyed and/or traumatized, but this atrociousness have put some churches and communities into a chaotic state. Your metaphoric language is quite eclectic: it is poetically penned, aptly accusatorial, caustically admonishing, advisory acute and genuinely redeeming. This Poem of Address, IMO, delivers a tremendous message in a few well chosen words. Keep writing. TLW	2005-07-28 12:51:55
Earth Spirit	Michael Bird	Michael–-Overall, great title and theme for a potentially excellent free verse poem. One liners at the beginning are excellent for grabing attention. Your initial caution for readers of this literal/non-literal post is sound advice. And, the presentation of the four geographical directions and their import is well penned, but the piece could use some tightening. I personally never try to rewrite or change anyones message, but this one could do without some of the “the” articles (I counted at least 8 of the 16 present which, IMO, could be done away with or substituted for and still be effective). I hesitated on reviewing this, thinking my observations will be taken in a negative way as opposed to being offered in a helpful manner. In your response please let me know if I overstepped critiquing bounds. TLW	2005-07-27 11:22:43
The Dark Side	marilyn terwilleger	Marilyn–Terse penning for presentation of foreboding nightmare(s). Personally, I’ve always been fortunate enough to awake before “monster(s)” finish me off. Judging from this concise soliloquy the end of night and/or daybreak provide respite for someone from an unnamed plight. Moreover, oxymoron(s) suggest soliloquist relives some unspeakable/traumatic experience(s) during nocturnal sojourn. Poetics of unforced rhyming bullets enhanced by purposely placed line breaks which produce staccato effect and a quick read of the un-punctuated ditty. Title is also perfect, albeit, dead give-away for theme and tone of piece. Sorry if I missed your intended purpose(s). TLW	2005-07-27 10:51:12
Cherry Blossom Melody	Jana Buck Hanks	Jana--I spent some time at Yokota Air Base back in 1969 and learned of the esteem given to pedagogy in the Japanese culture. Furthermore, my youngest daughter (30 years old)just returned (march 05) from teaching in Japan. She taught 5th graders at the Kansai School in Nagata (near Osaka) and allowed my wife and I to exchange emails with her students (which was great). Your poem is a moving, albeit terse, tribute to teachers of "all disciplines." These thirty sparse words have been well chosen by scribe to present a personal and heartfelt poetical gem. Thanks for sharing. TLW	2005-07-24 12:19:25
The Battle For Mount Diablo	Kenneth R. Patton	Kenneth--Nothing like being close to nature to start the creative juices flowing. This piece aptly shows through excellent personification a picturesque transition from night to day (with some smog thrown in since it's California-smile)in life of the famous Mt. Diablo. I like the idea of competition between opposing forces for the attention of this elevated surface. However, I did stumble with; "Agonizing heat baked the parched hills" IMO, 'baked' and 'parched' are synonymous. Maybe a different verb or adjective and or different arrangement of the exsisting verbiage would make this line flow better. I humbly offer as a suggestion something like; "Agonizing heat parched the (game/green/contrite) hills" The one line was a very minor distraction from a overall colorful/enjoyable read. TLW	2005-07-23 12:41:26
London Bridges	Latorial D. Faison	Latorial--Where indeed!! These are some serious no bull.... queries addressed in this list poem. And, the title-Wow! There's no mistaking the comparison to the original "...Falling Down." As usual you've not backed off/away from controversial topics directly affecting the doleful condition of the world. These rhetorical questions are quite valuable, but their answers are priceless!! keep planting seeds. TLW	2005-07-20 10:59:05
I Wonder	marilyn terwilleger	Marilyn--Protagnist inference all the great things about waking to another day which has been granted but not promised. Simple but genuine heartfelt naturesque scenes depicted by scribes colorful and harmonious verbiage. All appears to be right with the world (stanzas #1 thru 4). However, uneasiness of nocturnal emis- sions creeps into mind, causing some concerns (stanza #5); "As my day begins night dreams cause me to pause And I wonder" This "...Wonder" leads to serious queries of scribes mortality (stanza #6/lines #1 and #2; "Will I see another daybreak? Is this my alpha or omega?" Realizing the answers to these difficult questions can only be addressed by a higher power, protagnist turns to prophecy in the last two lines; "Or is it more devine To wonder" Great title for this poem-it's repeat in 5th stanza serves to enhance the piousness of message. Hope I didn't misstate the import of your intentions. TLW	2005-07-18 16:53:31
From Down Umbra, Inflecting	Thomas Edward Wright	Thomas--Encomium for Mell Morris (aka, MellO, Mellita and other derivatives) and whole- heartily endorsed by yours truly). IMO, this is a reciprocal/adoration piece that alludes to the maladies that this lady has endured and her resilience; bouts of doldrums shaken off; and the break through to another plane which allows her to continue on in pursuit of a higher destiny (the lady has the skills to uniquely analyze/verbalize evoked emotions). The metaphoric inferences of her fortitude is well conceived and inspire this reader. Thanks also for the mini-syntax lesson-smile. TLW	2005-07-18 15:37:08
My Faults	Joyce P. Hale	Joyce--And, funny it is! This is a well crafted humorous piece that speaks also to the Venus and Mars aspects of the genders-smile. The poet has shared an array of poetics in this litany of self-belittling blitheness. IMO, the listing in "My Faults" provide a little something for each reader to identify with and laugh at. Good-on-you. Keep writing and experimenting. TLW	2005-07-18 13:42:13
The City Masculine	Joyce P. Hale	Joyce--I like it! Your previous post certaintly deserved a politically correct sequel/ response and you've delivered in style-smile. This verbiage definitely a bit more rough and tough; aggressive and competitive; egocentric and testosterone laden("...Masculine). Although not as dramatic are as well rhymed as the "woman" slant, when combined, these two versions are probably a more accurate portrayal of the city in earnest (the city is a hermaphrodite if you will). Sorry if I've missed the taxi-smile. TLW	2005-07-17 15:39:27
The City's a Woman...	Joyce P. Hale	Joyce--WOW! Ecellent rhyming committed to this metaphoric/analogous piece. The poem is easily seen by this reader as an imaginative and colorful feminized allegory. Through an array of apt and descriptive phrases scribe has done a great job of selling this protagnist as advertised. Yes, indeed, "The City's a Woman..." (TLW)	2005-07-17 15:00:27
The Back Side of the Moon	Mell W. Morris	Mellita--Since I'm not at full discerning strength, I offer this-since it still speaks the truth (no offense intended to other TPLers). TLW Revenant by Turner L. Williams During an interim poetics were deficient in terseness metaphors stopped resonating: the silence was deafening imagery became less vivid Funk and Wagnal was not consulted well-once...for sure never more than thrice Just when reviews seemed unendurable onto the proverbial site Poetess returned-true afficionados rejoiced as she redisplayed her silver syllabled voice	2005-07-15 14:53:34
The Lost Poems of San Francisco	Gene Dixon	Gene--You've penned well the frustrations of poets in a imaginative, humorous and great name dropping way. No,it's not just senility that grips the mind, for whatever reason inspiring thoughts are such fleeting things and when not captured at the moment they present themselves--they're lost to us forever. To help offset this phenomenon, I keep several pens and pads at the ready (even in the bathroom) for jotting down my flashes of brilliance-smile. Thanks for sharing this unique blithe insight into missed opportunitues. Sorry if I've miss the mark, but I did enjoy the read. TLW	2005-07-14 13:29:00
Smile	marilyn terwilleger	Marilyn--Romantic love is written all over and through this terse ditty; a clean erotic piece (oxymoronic, but true for this old man). A proponent of sparsity, yours truly is in awe of protagnist and the object. These eighteen simple words are arranged exquisitely poetically. Anyone to whom this is directed is very fortunate indeed. Thanks for letting me fawn on this-smile. TLW	2005-07-13 19:13:32
Sonnet to Life	Joyce P. Hale	Joyce--I applaud you and those that write the not so easy (14 lines w/eight syllables per each-including a rhyme scheme, which makes sense) fixed forms of sonnets. This is a great positive story, told in plain down to earth language with a subtle, but pious (not preachy) slant. The entire poem covers a gambit of "Life" issues, but the last two lines capture (for me) the theme and tone of the piece best: "What would life be without our hope, what would this earthy world be worth?" Thanks for sharing this insightful post with TPL. TLW	2005-07-13 16:50:39
The Rain Upon the Heather	Sean Donaghy	Sean--My favorite form: end rhimes. And, you've done it so well. The piece seem to flow in sequence and as easily as; "The rivulets of rain run down the hillside and course like widow's tears into the earth..." Sribe has penned a tribute to one of nature's universal substance, which without it- no life would be sustained. Credit given to the almighty God, creator of all things. The post covers sins and redemption in a non-preachy way. Combination of elements, wren, end rhymes and descriptives phrases not only conjure up glorious imagery, but produce sonorous rhythm. This is superbly done, I hope I didn't mistate your intentions.	2005-07-13 16:25:53
Haiku on Midsummer	Joyce P. Hale	Joyce--Excellent representation of mainly Western Haiku (7-5-6) as oppose to Japanese Verse (5-7-5). The imagery is metaphoric and personified. Much said and presented in this eighteen syllable nocturnal scene. Thanks. TLW	2005-07-13 13:38:02
Poetry Distilled	Paul R Lindenmeyer	Paul--This one called to me and I had to answer (short, sweet and to the point)! A terse mini-treatise on what all TPL scribers want for their poetics. Thanks for sharing these profound words. TLW	2005-07-13 13:13:46
At The Real Life’s Return	Lennard J. McIntosh	Lennard--Although I'm not familar with Milton's "Paradise Regained," this appears to be a pretty ambitious undertaking: attempting a post to parallel the sentiments of such a noted scribe. Your piece depict the frailities/shortcomings/sins of man, including his free will to know and chose the wisdom/salvation/redemption offered through writings/teachings of the true way (sacrifice by way of the passion). "At The Real Life's Return" Eutopia/nirvana will be re-established (a return to the Garden of Eden); "...the life bathed in perfection that life that He first purposed back there "in the beginning." Thanks for sharing this well thoughtout poem following Holy Week (March 20-27). TLW	2005-04-05 21:48:05
A Leaf Blooms In Maine	Rick Barnes	Rick–I've studied on this from several angles and feel it is two pronged. IMO, the first two stanzas present this post in one sense as a simple up front plain read: a sparse piece of flora germinating too early in a snow covered area in this particular seasonal state while being assisted to live by the sun. On the other hand, it can easily be a perplexing/complex metaphor for an early/troubled birth of a child-with its survival due to intervention from the creator. The tongue twisting allits saturating the 3rd stanza infer that the enity is no longer recognize- able to us and no longer available to us because it has gone on to fulfill its true destiny. Surely much deeper than it and its title appears. Sorry if I've misstated your intentions, but glad to read anything from you-smile. TLW	2005-04-04 02:27:25
Math	Moira Grace Hamel-Smith	Moira--I don't recall reviewing any of your posts, so welcome to the site. This approach is a unique concept: a mixture of art, music, history, science, math, sociology and psycology used in a poetical context. Excellent analogy of; "Physics is art, music is math." Also, great inference of prophesy?/vision/insightfulness; "Random is the horse we have yet to ride, Actuaries (and derivative traders) are the Da Vinces of our time." IMO, strophes #3/#4 are credible hypothesis proposals (albeit idealistic). It's at this point the piece seem to lose continuity: in stanza #5 protagonist appear to be presenting testimony/admission to some ill(s) with a follow-on absolution of which no tie-end is evident to the previous verbiage (at least not decernible by this reader). Sorry for misstating your intentions, but did enjoy the intrique prior to getting lost-smile. TLW	2005-04-04 00:28:26
Rain	marilyn terwilleger	Marilyn--Just a tad early, but a "seasonal/nature" piece. This Japanese verse (as our haiku master "E" would put it-smile) is a simple scene which conjures up literal images without wasting any of the words. It causes this reader to think and feel, especially lines two and three; "...Showers from somewhere unseen Drops of life for earth" Your post is true to form and authentic: three lines/17 syllables/nature themed/ seasonal. Thanks for sharing this light (but prophetic-smile) effort. Looking forwarded to more of your haiku. TLW	2005-03-31 20:36:59
IN DEFENSE OF INNOCENTS	Paul R Lindenmeyer	Paul--For those who might just not know who or what your offering is about, I've taken the liberty of copying this from a news service to catch them up; "Who is Terri Schiavo? For seven years now, Michael Schiavo and the Schindlers--primarily, Terri's parents, Bob and Mary--have been locked in a grueling war, a war over money, over control, and, in the end, over Terri's future. Schiavo wants his wife to be allowed to die. That, he says, was her wish. The Schindlers want someone-- the government, the courts, anyone with any possible authority in this situation-- to restore the feeding tube that was removed, by court order, last Friday. They want their daughter, in whatever state she is, to live. The fight over her life--and death--is being played out, in this Easter week, as a uniquely American Passion play. Congress passed emergency legislation. The president signed it in the middle of the night, in his pajamas, after being awakened. There are picketers, prayer services, angry invective, impassioned ap- peals. The Vatican has weighed in. The Supreme Court has refused to do so." This poignant, gutwrenching, heartbreaking, and tear rendering poem, both quite accurately depicts this cruel/atrocious "extraordinary law passed by congress" and present yet another prime example of man's inhumanity to his fellow man (woman). Thanks for being as bards usually are: conscience of nations. TLW	2005-03-27 11:35:46
Judging By the Cover	Mell W. Morris	Mell--This is downright clever! Apt combination of verbiage/interior rhymes not only witty, but relates succinctly candid aspects/signatures of selected artists'lives/careers/artistry. This of course is more than 'insider' infor- mation, it is mainly acquired through astuteness of the well-read and the well-roundedness of scribe. Duality of the title serves to enhance/emphasize theme/listed characterists and create colorful/vivid imagery. You're still 'Queen' of the tributes. TLW	2005-03-25 04:34:08
Pepe LePew	Kenneth R. Patton	Kenneth--An excellent humorous/semi-serious allegory. It's great to see someone not take themselves too seriously. Almost a nonsense piece which gives the site a respite from some of the more gloomy posts and also seems to fill in for a less active muse-smile. Thanks for the levity! TLW	2005-03-23 12:29:15
Poem Title	Poet Name	Critique Given by Turner Lee Williams	Critique Date

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