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Poem Title	Poet Name	Critique Given by Turner Lee Williams	Critique Date
The Vow	Latorial D. Faison	Latorial--The ensuing verbiage aptly speak volumes of scribe’s emotional attach- ment and devotion to her distanced significant other. Even if I didn’t know that your “other half” is serving our country in uniform in ‘some foreign land’, I would still realize through the title this terse poem is about fidelity and all it entails. Moreover, protagonist is determined not to feel sorry for herself and indicates a resolve to use her independence during this interim; “Longing won’t bring him back to me now so I spread these wings realizing the vow” This (IMO) should be posted where it can receive wider readership (for those in similar situations) especially, military personnel. Thanks for sharing such a heartfelt personal piece. TLW	2005-03-20 09:39:19
Whirlwinds and Tornados	Kenneth R. Patton	Kenneth--This single punctuated enjambing/run-on piece is a super quick read while presenting some dark-humored (if fictious) vivid imagery. Great meta- phors for trails and tribulations of a troubled life. Although the ending is redeeming, I only hope the overall theme/tone is the hyperbolic imagination of this scribe/protagonist superb poetical mind; "Still, it beats the alternative IMO, an almost Poe like piece. Keep writing. TLW	2005-03-18 11:27:22
HOPE	Edwin John Krizek	Edwin--Great mixture/combination of personification/nonliteral expressions create vivid imagery; "Despair's seductive song calls to me. Yet, I hear another voice. Her beauty silences this empty enchantress. Her promise sends me running headlong into the day." Excellent line breaks enhances this enlightening, lyrical and well presented rebuffing of negative energy/pessimistic views of life for the more positive/ optimistic side. Your approach with this upbeat piece, in my humble opinion, is as it should be: the world doesn't owe us anything nor is tomorrow promised. And, as mundane as it sounds, at this time in my life, I too am just; "Happy to see the sun again..." I have no suggestions for this superb free verse. Thanks for sharing it with fellow TPLers. TLW	2005-03-18 11:09:38
Especially in spring	Joanne M Uppendahl	Joanne–In my opinion, this simplistic/enjambing/run-on verbiage belies it’s understated beauty and subtle piousness. My thoughts quickly went to a Haiku; Endowments man’s exquisite gifts from a loving creator: plants and animals Enough said! Only a few scribes would/could state the “so obvious,” this poetically and enthrallingly. You've painted vivid imagery with "Especially in spring" and aptly given the credit where due. TLW	2005-03-14 23:59:36
Remaining Superior	Mell W. Morris	Mell–The initial descriptive/picturesque images of stanza #1 are in direct contrast to eerie sojourn induced by fog on this road trip (stanza #2). This atmosphere produces a depressive mood which in-turn create some trepidation (enjambment of stanzas #3/4); “I thought of running off the road to the deep Superior where I would eterne with an old wrecked ship and mermaids for companions.” The title/theme of the entire piece (IMO) is summed up by stanza #5 as a possible metaphor for maintaining/sustaining status quo/ego despite obstacles or somber events: reader gleans a subtle analogy from title, the last stanza and its sparse rimes (Gumee/gloomy; said/dead); “The legend lives on from the Chippewa down of the big lake they call Gitche Gumee. The lake it is said never gives up her dead when the skies of November turn gloomy.” Sorry if my review is off, but it is what I feel. TLW	2005-03-12 11:29:21
The Sea and Me	marilyn terwilleger	Marilyn--Must be spring fever/itch; the taste for salt or that love of large water that inspired this one. Active sailing terminology, apt sea fowl and colorful descriptors saturate this piece of levity. Wish we could make you repeal and or amend your last stanza; "There would only be my sails, the swells, the sea and me." Please forgo the solitary and take us with...TLW	2005-03-11 19:15:33
Alignment Cues	Latorial D. Faison	Latorial--An enthralling enjambement and big departure from your 'normal' caustic social rant-smile. My favorite verbiage is the solitary rime phrase; "...my inner child can't even dream of places she will go people she'll never know" In my opinion, both stanzas are combinations of oxymoronic phrasing and sauciness which makes this an attractive read while being the second post to remind me of "Ego Tripping" (there may be a reason why) by Nikki Giovanni. Hope to see more of this! TLW	2005-03-11 18:39:38
Monastic Surrender	Paul R Lindenmeyer	Paul--Absolutely nothing wrong with attending any setting which allows or guide one to reflect, meditate, purge and get in touch with nature/spirits/inner self, etc. It appears that your self-searching/forgiving and conscious rasing has paved the way for better use of the gift of FREE WILL we humans are blessed/cursed with-smile. This piece is all about redemption! Another sagacious and terse post. Keep them coming. TLW	2005-03-10 12:33:26
A Captive Bird	marilyn terwilleger	Marilyn--A simple but poignant title which is followed by five melancholic rhyming couplets, lamenting painfully and poetically the missing of a significant other. Heartwrenching oxymoronic phrases causes reader to emote over verbiage use (2nd line of 2nd couplet; 1st lines of 3rd and 4th couplets); "I bow my head and veil my eyes to quell the silent river cries I hear hollow echoes of grief when will I wander to relief? Clamor of whist in turbid air my being trembles with despair" The analogy of "A Captive Bird" for title/theme and ending stanza provides the ultimate emphatic sentiments for this stupendous effort; "Like the beating heart of a captive bird who yearns in vain to fly skyward." IMO, a well limned genuine on-going cathartic saga which serves to pacify protagonist for short spells and give some respite from grieving. Sorry for any misstatements. TLW	2005-03-10 12:09:45
Your Mouth is Mine	hello haveaniceday	Barbara–Everthing about this offering is hot---no,X-rated. The title alone is enticement enough to peak reader(s) interest. The sexual theme/tone is initiated through assorted allits, i.e.,(surely, softly, sweetly; Elvin echoes entering; trust the twisting tentacles), starting with stanza #1; “Surely, softly, sweetly I can move your lips Elvin echoes entering Your mouth around these quips I control the muscles The shapes around your tongue Trust the twisting tentacles I’ll tell you when I’m done” Stana #2/3 is adroitly done with a continuation of title theme by employing additional/subsequent alliterations ( touch the tips of tiny twigs; swallow, swift this sweltering line take a sip and start again) with imaginative hyper- bole; "Open wide my hydra smile And sneer in meek decree Let me hold the reins of sound Your breath is all I need Faintly weigh the measures Accentuate success Touch the tips of tiny twigs That glad and happy mess Of hard cored words to crunch And swallow, swift this sweltering line Take a sip and start again Pink drinkers of my wine” Excellent combinations of innuendos, explicit descriptors, allits, and sparse rimes create vivid imagery of a steeping tryst. I for one feel that all my senses have been sated. Keep writing. TLW	2005-03-09 20:03:28
Damn	John Dean	John--Welcome! Don't recall seeing your name or poetry, but I am getting senile- smile. This is great stuff! Interesting title and my favorite genre-rime (with dark humor). Written like a true frustrated/muse deserted scribe. Anyone who has ever attempted to write anything for any length of time has hit the wall (writers block). What I'm infering is that you've posted this at the right place, since we at TPL can all identify with your plight. I have no problem with the repeat of "Damn." IMO, the use here is not useless profanity, but an emphatic statement of the tenuous undertak- ing of poetical pursuits. This is not just another excellent "ars poetica," this one is much better. Forgive me if I got lost following your effort, but I did so enjoy the trip. TLW	2005-03-09 12:45:35
Your Pain In My Heart	Lennard J. McIntosh	Lennard--These are the pieces that tear me apart: realism in its rawness. For pro- tagonist, this is an on-going open wound which tears at the inner most feelings, which he has vividly related to reader; "...to draw each new-born headlong as murky flashes dash by time." Such a mixed emotions event that is heartfelt with a genuine appeal; ".....too busy to quell enmity, too frail to grasp serene, please grant me your pain." The three assorted stanzas/lengths of this free verse aptly depict its sequential dis- traughtness. However, the appearance/inference of redeemption and catharsis serves to enhance this dark read; "Though I well know it's only dreams, and those that I can't own. Still, deep inside the marrow buried in my bones, I achieved your pain as giving birth in total immersion in me." Sorry if I went in the wrong direction with your poignant and sober post. I applaud your valiant effort in addressing this painful subject. TLW	2005-03-09 11:10:33
Through The Pain	Nancy Ann Hemsworth	Nancy--Perplexing title, and made even more so by the subsequent verbiage, especially the seemingly innocent first three stanzas: the scenarios presented in no way appear to be ominous, maybe with the exception of refrains "nose pressed against the window- pane." These repeated endings of stanzas infer at least long ago childhood aspirations still are unrequited many years later; "Now-a-days rain is colder, I am older; nose pressed against the windowpane." This reader sees the piece as a metaphorical depiction of protagonist undergoing some traumatic experience. IMO, a haunting/melancholic/rhyming/terse read. Sorry if I mis- stated your intentions. TLW	2005-03-08 23:48:57
Open Your Eyes	Latorial D. Faison	Latorial– An emotional charged piece vehemently addressing inner racial/cultural issues. Protagonist title and subsequent verbiage (IMO) metaphorically and adamantly is an appeal to Blacks of all ages and stations to become conscious of the “real world” and its ‘bona fide requisites’. Furthermore, scribe inferences these present/ sell out/readily available/easily excepted enticements are beguiling. The ending refrain(s) are emphatic and gives a sense of finality. Thanks for this personal ren- dering of a bold reflection on a pertinent and current situation. TLW	2005-02-28 22:36:34
Outside My Window	Patricia Gibson-Williams	Patricia–This addressing of your personal heartbreaking infertility issue is bravely, soberly, eloquently, and poignantly done. And, made all the more impressive by scribe being able to express her heartfelt feelings in unforced rhymes (too much other poetic rhetoric is present to single out as particular favorites). Only those who experience such heart wrenching pain/emptiness can truthfully know what you’ve gone through and/ or what it took to pen such an emotional charged piece. I for one hope that a combi- nation of significant other support, counselings, friends and this unique elocution of protagonist unrequited wish/want/desire to have a child of her own will serve as a ca- tharsis and perhaps clear the way for an adoption to help fill this sad void. Thanks for sharing this courageous and heartwarming realism. TLW	2005-02-28 13:11:09
verse 69 (Thunder)	Erzahl Leo M. Espino	Erzahl-–Good to see your first post of the month. This non-literal Haiku present vivid imagery of natures natural celestial audio/visual displays. This piece could have aptly/easily been titled “Lightening,” as all descriptors supplement/complement/personifies both phenomena. You’ve once again given us a unique and uplifting respite. Thanks for sharing with your fans and friends at TPL. TLW	2005-02-27 10:32:03
-- -- --what they are doing." Lk.23:34	Paul R Lindenmeyer	Paul–The title intrigued me, and of course, I retired to the bible for ‘the rest of the story’. And, a sober one it is; “And the legacy of forgiveness visits creation again: Cascading, Crescendos of Compassion's unmeasured mercy; {White hot soul searing Divine logic} Given freely from Crucified lips.” Your terse alliterated piece (especially the title) poignantly depict response made during the “Passion of Christ:” This unparalleled incident is what gave/gives humanity its longevity and unprecedented free will. Your retreat assignment/request is highly laudable, Ms. Gleason should be proud/honored. Thanks for sharing such a sagacious and concise effort. TLW	2005-02-27 10:25:45
She-Who-Dreams	Joanne M Uppendahl	Joanne– Starting with the title and including the subsequent tercets of personifications/allits, this one has almost an Indian folklore feel/tone to it; “Calls clouds to tumble their soft tears on her waiting face (excellent analogy for needed rain for thirsty earth?) for parched fields of grass.” Colorful descriptors/allits/personification depict front clearing sky and darkness houses a pattern of celestial twinkles; “Weaves threads of weather’s whirl and stir into night, then makes quilts of stars.” Great ending (and of course my favorite stanza) for this nonliteral language-citing the auspicious/projected position of largest reflective night sphere in the heavens; “Only then, spirit mountains chant pale moons into the palms of her nimble hands.” Sorry if I’ve missed your intentions for this outstanding effort, however, the poetics alone were well worth the read. TLW	2005-02-26 01:45:46
The Dance Of The Snowflakes	sheryl ann minter	Sherly--Delightful little ditty. Great personification of title and heady descriptors create vivid seasonal imagery; "...Picasso in shape, an original, minute, free form ice sculpture, from the abstract to the unobtrusive, from the symetrical to the intricate. The imprinted wonders glistening in beauty, adhearing (adhering?) to our lashes, brows and clothes (,?) stinging or skin, burning our toes." These stupendous lines (believe it or not) are followed by even a better (and my favorite) twist/turn/reversial ending; "Composed menagerie among the inclement weather, inordinate in its falling, enticing us to observe, to touch, to step into a second childhood!" Apt eclectic verbiage used by scribe in this well written invitation to make "snow angels." Thanks for the incredible sense bites. TLW	2005-02-25 14:40:25
Rights	Mark D. Kilburn	Mark--I applaud your willingest to tackle such a controversial theme/topic. You've listed grave connotations/incidents which have been well documented. As a vet/military policeman/ citizen/family man/owner of guns I abhor these horrific incidents and share your belief for gun lesgislation reform. Futhermore, Until some drastic changes are made in this arena, we are destined to relive more repeated occurrences of the gruesomeness you've related. The changing of these laws won't be easy due the power of proponents for guns rights. This group has one of, if not, the most powerful lobbyist in Washington. Hopefully, your satirical post will emote/move TPLers to contact others who in-turn will make their feelings known to their political representatives. Thanks for speaking up. TLW	2005-02-23 18:08:27
With A Certain Humming In My Ears	Mell W. Morris	Mell–I’m sure Blaise is on to something, but I don’t think he was/is referring to four walls turned into an austere cell; “...misfortune comes To man from being unable to stay Quietly in one room.” From the tone of stanza #3, this reader gets the idea Pascal didn’t trust anyone who played with a full deck/rowed with two oars-smile. Moreover, there’s inference his philosophy has had a profound influence on protagonist; “If my own ordinary life Be made of madness as seen through Pascal-formulated hypnosis (hypothesis?), I demand God-given rights to have a full-blown, Proper psychosis.” For selfish reasons (I’m sure I speak for all at TPL), you can go as crazy as you’d like, but, we’re all insisting you keep a writing utensil handy. Once again you’ve taken an unusual theme and made it entertaining, humorous, pertinent, mind tingling, poetical and yours. TLW	2005-02-23 00:11:26
The Rose	marilyn terwilleger	marilyn–-Your title completely misled me, but the subsequent language left no doubt as to dire circumstances of this segment of society. Tenebrous verbiage, i.e., languid, bent, drooped, onerous, sorrow, wrinkled, tattered, tragedy, aching stoop, dull eyes, perfidious wrongs) create sad and troubling imagery. I think we’ve all asked ourselves, “why have these people dropped out?”; “how did they reach this point in their life?”; “don’t they have any pride/shame/ family?”; “What robed (robbed?) rapture from this man’s face?” The afore mentioned questions can be judgmental/biased, however, these later ones request/inference simple yes/no answers; “Can these perfidious wrongs be disavowed? Will serendipity unfurl his frame?” Scribe has sagely proposed the definitive denouement; “Only his Maker can redden a dispetaled (de-petaled?) rose.” This melancholic read is well written poetically and emotionally. TLW	2005-02-21 23:16:04
Understanding Dali	Gene Dixon	Gene--Welcome to TPL. This man (imo) along with other 'Surrealists' make us all question their take on reality, but moreover, did/would they care? I think your title and subse- quent brief read aptly indicates Senior Salvador Dali clearly "saw images that didn't reach others retina." And, historically most creative geniuses, especially artists, have worn mixed tags: madmen or savants. Thanks for this interesting dark humored effort. TLW	2005-02-21 10:51:30
Poetic Devices	Janet A Burg	Janet--Don't recall your name/reviewing any of your poetry, so welcome! This is too precious! And, it has some of everthing: realism, humor, truth uniqueness, metaphors, rimes (radiation, inspiration, constipation) and frustration, in other words "Ars Poetica." Any and all aspiring/would be scribes have without a doubt experienced a sleeping/fickle/finicky/absent Muse. In view of this post, you must've done a pretty good coaxing job on Thalia. Your effort is truly entertaining and sorely needed. Thanks for this well constructed/quasi-serious/giddy read. TLW	2005-02-19 21:20:31
Becoming Spring	Joanne M Uppendahl	Joanne–I do believe you’ve started already,‘Becoming Spring.’ This simple rendering of your walk in the woods has taken on a life of it’s own: Detailed descriptions as only seen through a very few select eyes have placed this reader smack dab in the forest; “...climbing over rutted mud past the trees’ soft caves. Untried tracks find mallard duck twosomes pressed heart-to-heart in dappled sunlight.” Almost tongue twisting allits delve into intimacy of duck pair; “They chat in quick quacks, perhaps planning ventures past the pond or in it (U talk nature-smile).” I then catch myself glancing down at my improper shoes; “...sliding on slippery muck left from morning’s rain.” Yes, you’ve got my attention and I’m gonna hold you to your promise; “...as life renews, I’ll chant my joyful vision of it.” Thanks for this respite from the serious prose of late. TLW	2005-02-17 16:48:01
A Different Prayer	Lennard J. McIntosh	Len--Nothing complicated here, excellent verbiage created vivid imagery of protag- onist desperately plea/want to ward off antagonist(aging process), and of course he will be quite unsuccessfully. In my opinion, death, aging andtaxes, are the three (ok-make it two-smile) things which can't be avoided. I too share your sentiments, however, at my age, I give more thought and effort to the interim (that time between birth and death), trying to make it mean something of value to me, yours and ours. Great lament/prayer! TLW	2005-02-17 13:39:22
Water Spirits	Latorial D. Faison	Latorial–My thoughts went directly to the boats of Haitians who were turned away by the USA: first stanza inference these people subsequently drowned; “they swallowed the Atlantic to be free” The second stanza alluded (ambiguously ) to the atrocities they were fleeing and ultimately going/returning to watery fate/home of their gestation; “leaped over inhumanity to sink into the loving arms of their mother” This metaphoric piece theme (IMO) indirectly, echoes the selective process used by the strong to come to the aide of the weak: what can/have you done for me lately; no oil no influence no leverage! Sorry if I’ve misstated your intent. Powerful pausity worded effort. TLW	2005-02-17 13:13:59
Reunion	Joanne M Uppendahl	Joanne–A host of good things going on here:IMO, almost an allegoric List/History/ Open/Free Verse Poem presenting poignant tribute. This plain language,literal,down- to-earth piece portray bittersweet eclectic retrospectives: those collection of memories producing vivid imagery of a unforgettable “Grandma/Grandchild/childhood” which is provided by double protagonist(s) (is there such a word?),since there's no antagonist. Moreover, the “Reunion” becomes a lament/catharsis. Similiar flash- backs made me misty eyed-again; "Once we are in there, stories start to roll out, roll out like biscuit dough." (what a yummy simile) Nothing wrong here: no suggestion, no redemption, none needed. Thanks for taking me back with you. TLW	2005-02-15 15:05:27
The Problem With Angles	Mell W. Morris	Mell–-Although inviting, the title alone isn’t what attracted me to the poem-it’s a Mell signature and that worked for me. Now, to do it justice from a review stand- point is a challenge-smile. Protagonist admittedly not perfect, but is a self-con- fident person with added help from an assigned spirit/watcher/protector (as we all have?). And, futhermore,is revering in the wonder of being created in The Almighty’s image not unlike the whole of mankind. Inference made to Creator’s last chore before resting which also entailed the special assignment of signaling ones pre-selected for entry to heaven (Angel of Death?). Great twist/turn/reversal ending: protagonist is the one who has finally reached a required zenith and thus, The Trouble with Angels; “Since the day of my birth, for the first time, I feel free. Now no one seems to stare at me since I lost my sharp edges.” Would not be surprised if I’ve once again missed the boat. However, I did enjoy the attempt to get to the dock on time-smile. TLW	2005-02-14 11:13:52
I Can hear Humming Bird Wings	marilyn terwilleger	Marilyn–Echoes of a 'son of a seventh son'-smile. Your title immediately reminded me of the movie "Ray" which I saw last week: in a restaurant scene the Ray Charles character relates to his dinner partner your title outside the window, when she looks, of course right on que there's this humming bird. In another movie Bruce Willis is the lone survivor of a horrific train crash, needless to say, he also gain special powers after “cheating the angel of death.” Finally, a poem "Ego Tripping" has even more hyperbole than this post. However, your tone does not have the appearance of braggadocio, more a stating of wonder and reverence as obviously depicted in these oxymoronic descriptors; “The muted sounds of alfresco leave me breathless, even solemn silence holds sound for me with its soft sibilance in my ear...” And the reverence for these gifts are continued and ended all to soon in; “There is eloquence of beauty in discovery of trivial things. If I were to lie beneath the sky I could hear (clouds applaud heaven’s choir), rain drops (neat personification) before they fall...and now I can hear humming bird wings” This is an awesome entertaining and imaginative offering. Sorry if I missed your mark. TLW	2005-02-13 17:43:58
Dreamer's Legacy	Jennifer Wilmot-Lavigne	Jennifer--Welcome! I can’t recall reviewing any of your work, but real sorry that it has to be at the same time while learning of your father’s passing. At any rate, I must commend you for posting (IMO) almost an elegy or at least a tribute to your dad. Only you are someone who has lost a loved one would know the difficulty of writing about experiences shared with someone who has passed on; “A mourning ritual that has been (past–passed?) Down From father to daughter, Pisces to Pisces.” It appears you both enjoyed reading/reviewing poetry of TPLers, according to your notes; “...he loved starting his day with you all. “ You’ve also done an excellent job of relating/relaying how much more alike you two were than different; “A silent man, as I am woman, Sponges of life, we soak(ed?) it all in, Burden(ed?) from the weight Only to be lightened, as day breaks Through (poinient-poignant?) verse.” A virtual repeat of stanzas #1 in stanza 3 serves to reemphasize how parallel worlds are for both protagonist/antagonist. I hope penning/posting this will be cathartic and allow you to continue to write. Sorry if I’ve misstated your intentions. Thanks for sharing your effort. TLW	2005-02-12 12:34:27
Following the Tributary Home	Molly Johnson	Molly--Hello and welcome! I do not remember seeing your name before, but we here at TPL can always use another scribe/poet/reviewer/critiquer/visitor-smile. A big title (and apt) for this tight little gem. The first stanza gets this quick read going with an excellent mini-marine/biology lesson. Then 2nd stanza catches this reader with a surprise twist/turn; "That is exactly how I find you: hollow collar bone, bent leg, smooth constellation of your face." This reversal moves directly to an even better analogy in stanza #3. There is no mistaking this stupendous depiction for anything other than the "spoon position"; "...and then press the slick side of my migration against your shore." I totally enjoyed this cute, subtle, lighthearted post, which is a welcomed respite. TLW	2005-02-11 20:41:14
Alone on A Beach	stephen g skipper	stephen--Just the title conjures up a great visual for this metaphoric "List Poem." Taken as is, this protagonist has it bad (I mean real bad!) and that's good (I mean very good), and even better if most of these feel- ings are reciprocated. These hyperbolic phrases (IMO) could still be apt pick-up lines (smile) and emote/sway potential partner(s). This reader felt that this "list" is meant to be taken figuratively and inference some deeper theme. For sure not an elegy, but perhaps a genuine appeal to a "distant" lover or loved one; "I am the sail boat, that you see with your god given eyes, waiting for the day to carry you away. You think of me and I will of you!" As a reader, I can not honestly select any one of the non-rhymned couplets as a particular favorite------they're all pictuesque images that I wish were lit- eral and or I had thought of. I also have a few nit-picks: an excessive use of commas; line #13 caused me to pause/stop akwardly (may be just me-smile). I won't begin to suggest how to re- write your poem, because I do enjoy what I get from it. TLW	2005-02-11 11:45:59
Beneath the Lilacs	Lynda G Smith	Lynda--Great poetical rhetoric creating some pretty picturesque and vivid imagery (excellent end rimes producing feast for all the senses). If I had a nit-pick, it would be a wee bit one--scratch that!! I almost suggested changing the layout to couplets or some other arrangement (but it does not affect the contents--so what!!), upon reconsidering--this unpunctuated ditty allows a quick enjambing read. I truely enjoyed the taste, tone, sights and sounds. TLW	2005-02-10 15:45:36
Prelude To A Kiss	stephen g skipper	Stephen--Immediately, this post reads like a reunion of two from a past relationship; "Through the mists of time, we are parting the veils of mystery, as we now meet again." There are almost surreal qualities herein that make me want to pose "Oh, if this be a dream, let me not awake..."; "Bring me a boat of sides with silver blue, lets sail away, to the new dawn, glorious in all its majesty." And, on the other hand the piece turns quite amorous in stanza #4 as pro- tagonist inference through hyperbole some wanton desires. Yes, whatever this pair had/have is now past boiling, check the smell; "Air filled with the heady scent of lust!" Poignant oxymoronic (rhyming) ending enhances this tasteful done quasi-erotic offering. Hope I did not miss your intentions. It is nice to see a post from you-smile. TLW	2005-02-10 15:11:17
Somewhere in the back of my mind I hear a melody	Leo Wilder	Leo--Welcome revenant! This type of post is never out of season:pious, humorous, naturesque, unique, and a mini-biblical-history-life lesson. Also, a terse, brief, concise and quick read. Thanks for this. TLW	2005-02-10 14:04:41
Lessons	Rachel F. Spinoza	Rachel--This is not a critique, but simply a comment(s) on what in my humble opinion is a GREAT metaphoric/lyrical poem (although sequenced like a List Poem). Your terse sober paternal sageness is completely and opposite matched by poetical/non-literal verbiage (the stuff poetry is made of)!! The last two stanzas (hyperbole) gives me goose bumps; "...and you-you slapped me wide awake and taught me to attend the light and listen for the sounds of life that bubble up in kneaded clay" This understated titled/unpunctuated gem has absolutely nothing wrong--except my muse did not bring it to me!! TLW	2005-02-09 22:02:22
Perfecting Praise	Latorial D. Faison	Latorial--Excellent devotional piece (almost a prayer). Immediate allits of title gives this an inviting and pious tone. And, read quickly, followed by reverence of obedient servants through all three stanzas: depiction by com- binations of allits (choirs chant, prophetic plans, women weep, men mediate, ...dreamed, David danced) and stagered placement of end rhymes (sky/high; meditate/fate/late; verse/first) create vivid imagery while producing a euphonious rhythm. Overall, a terse revealation of personal faith. Thanks for sharing. TLW	2005-02-08 15:30:14
Red Feather	marilyn terwilleger	Marilyn--What a nice tribute to Mell and her Native American ancestry. This piece is a poignant "Indian civil war" incident/story. Excellent descriptors and phrasing depict the meticulous preparation of a young Indian lad hoping to earn through battle his coming of age (brave) "badge." Although, apt cere- mony/procedures followed by "Red Feather," melancholic twist/turn indicates, he was unsuccessful in returning alive from his admireable quest. However, much redeemption/honor shown through the placement of his spirit "...in the esoteric sky." IMO, the relating/relaying of this particular genre shows poet's great snack for combination of poetry/story telling. The background and surround- ing picturesque western scenery is presented in vivid details producing imagery for all the senses. Well done! TLW	2005-02-02 23:06:15
Poetry's End	Paul R Lindenmeyer	Paul--IMO, the initial post was scribe's original and personal subjectivity of "Ars Poetica," therefore, a heartfelt genuine rendering. After having written that mouthful and perusing this revision, I can easily see it has been tighten: the poem appears to have lost some extraneous words, making it terse and more precise. Also, the new layout is more pleasing to this reader. Although I like both versions, I prefer the repost. TLW	2005-01-31 22:31:54
Where To Now America?	Latorial D. Faison	Latorial--A very heavy inquiry! And, too pertinent to be disgarded or ignored. The selective refrain/repeat of title serve dual elements:(1)to reempahsize the sequential direness of each subsequent stanza and (2) a well deserved sense of finality. This message inference and importance can not be overstated. We are deeply involved in yet another "Historical doomed to repeat" scenario. IMO, it is vital that the questions posed herein be addressed judiciously. Hopefully, your heartfelt appeal of "Where To Now America?" will emote more than TPLers. TLW	2005-01-31 12:06:24
My Hero	Kenneth R. Patton	Kenneth--How goes It? Really nice to see a post from you. Identified with this right away. One point five years separate my brother and I (I'm the oldest). He was scholastic,I was athletic and we both had many girls (popular leader(s) in our own groups). According to history, parents siblings, sociologists and psychologists this rivalry is normal, expected, helpful, and can be healthy (if not taken to extremes). And, from what you relate in this piece nothing really dangerous/harmful transpired between you two. I get a sense/tone of a redeeming for protagonist and also a catharsis. Sorry if I misstated your intentions. How- ever, thanks for causing this reader to revisit some bittersweet days and melan- cholic times. TLW	2005-01-30 10:59:41
Holocaust Memories	Latorial D. Faison	Latorial--At least "noone" has to wonder where the inspiration for this piece came from. Although your "Holocaust Memories" laments the wrongs done "one people," stanza #4 gives a universial reflection of infinite truth; "...tell how real the hatred how ugly the people who practice it" Moreover, the last/ending stanza holds for me the greatest definitive (it has to); "...but I always remember the people, the promise lands of abundance lives of freedom" This tribute is an excellent mixture of lamenting, condeming and redeeming.Thanks.TLW	2005-01-29 10:49:29
Yearnings Like the Lake's	Joanne M Uppendahl	Joanne–WOW!! Where do you get this imagery from? We, your fellow poets, all look of out our windows at some point; we see the rain, go on walks in the woods, and glance skyward for those birds and clouds, but most of us, with the exception of a few (JH & MT-come readily to mind) have yet to get these types of impressions and/or fail to verbalize them in this manner. While you on the other hand, never seem to be at a loss finding colorful, unique, picturesque and emotional descriptors for de- picting the simplest entity in nature. Case in point, this current off- ering with it's repeat of the title (my favorite phrasing); “...Yearnings like the lake's for her translucent, fingerling streams. Clouds dropped white faces to lap at likenesses in water." Furthermore, physical layout of this five stanza quatrain free verse off- ers a pleasing visual to match tone of piece. The indent of lines create a nice serene ebb and flow as eyes follow across and down the page (almost hypnotic for this reader). Your ever use of personification in conjunction with hyperbole has to be some sort of imaginative genuis. I like this!! TLW	2005-01-28 08:27:05
Keeper of the Gems	Mell W. Morris	Mell–Anyone assigned such a task as the title would be singled out due to a code of extreme merits and held in high esteem. This reader has read your offering several times and the very second I thought I had gleaned a bit of insight or small clarity, my feeble mind raced in another direction. Maybe this bit of libation and Wes Montgomery will help-smile. Well, here goes nothing. The piece is definitely saturated with inferences of protagonist link to a Native American Heritage: well known this people reverence for “mother earth/nature.” Also metaphoric references to effect of opals (various colors being responsible for separate functions) for their mystical/appeasing/protec- ting/prosperous powers through timely “sowing:” regardless of problems/trou- bles/situations, “Keeper...” by staying on the prescribed path inevitably “reaps” benefits which have been ordained. IMO the crux of theme born out by; “As the sun rises and sets, so I follow the rules given me by ancestral guide. The winds blow, I feel the weight of my diadem, my crown and its surround and I remember the responsibilities of my role. The jewels are symbol and sign a praise for the ways of the divine.” Reads like a resolve to live daily life according to the “good book” no matter what personal affronts or the environs bring. I hope I haven’t strayed too far from this heady post intentions. TLW	2005-01-25 16:08:28
Seasons and Flight	Mark D. Kilburn	Mell–Anyone assigned such a task as the title would be singled out due to a code of extreme merits and held in high esteem. This reader has read your offering several times and the very second I thought I had gleaned a bit of insight or small clarity, my feeble mind raced in another direction. Maybe this bit of libation and Wes Montgomery will help-smile. Well, here goes nothing. The piece is definitely saturated with inferences of protagonist link to a Native American Heritage: well known this people reverence for “mother earth/nature.” Also metaphoric references to effect of opals (various colors being responsible for separate functions) for their mystical/appeasing/protec- ting/prosperous powers through timely “sowing:” regardless of problems/trou- bles/situations, “Keeper...” by staying on the prescribed path inevitably “reaps” benefits which have been ordained. IMO the crux of theme born out by; “As the sun rises and sets, so I follow the rules given me by ancestral guide. The winds blow, I feel the weight of my diadem, my crown and its surround and I remember the responsibilities of my role. The jewels are symbol and sign a praise for the ways of the divine.” Reads like a resolve to live daily life according to the “good book” no matter what personal affronts or the environs bring. I hope I haven’t strayed too far from this heady post intentions. TLW	2005-01-25 15:40:26
Reader	Joanne M Uppendahl	Joanne--IMO, almost an "Ars Poetica" addressing the seemingly forgotten second half of the tandem needed to complete the poetry circle/cycle. This simple, but apt title is as at home as the well conceived subsequent verbiage that starts out downplaying the creative "writing" process and setting a course for it's target (which it hits with a bullseye); "It's knowing that you read. Though I cannot hear your voice nor see your smile or scowl, I long to write a page whose corner you will bend." Hopefully, this post will be seen for it's relevance to any and all writtings. TLW	2005-01-22 03:00:24
From My Backdoor	marilyn terwilleger	Marilyn--Wecome back!! How goes the rehab? See you've wasted no time-smile. A great return with,IMO, an analogous/prophetic post. I like your idea/view of nature seasonal needs pushing a will onto the land and it's inhabitants: the forcing of most fragile beings to hibernate, lay back and cover/heal/protect themselves until a more favorable phase returns. And, as you relate these oppor- tune times are just around the corner. Lively descriptors/personifications pro- ject vivid imagery of a glorious and sequential warming trend. The last three lines for sure emphasize the theme/tone/analogy/prophesy scribe is hopeful for; "It is then my grass will return to emerald green and warmth shall sooth my unfounded fears that spring will grace my BACKDOOR nevermore." Sorry if I mistated your intentions, but I like my imaginative "take away" from this piece. Take care. TLW	2005-01-21 19:01:49
A Letter from Mother	Claire H. Currier	Claire--I had trouble from the very start with this post. Sure, after finally reaching,IMO, the "beginning." I'll have you know it took me several attempts as I struggled to get completely through it and to this point; "Remember I am with you always, Love, Mother" I most certainly recognized it as a Persona Poem (immediately), which uses hyperbole and other figures of speech that create vivid imagery based on personal knowledge/details gained from years spent in a intimate (loving, nurturing and close) relationship with both parents. Your presenting of this piece in the form of a conversational open letter is a gutwrenching, heartwarming and tear-rendering coup. "A Letter from Mother" really irritates this reader's tear ducts (and that's a good thing-smile). Thanks for this! TLW	2005-01-21 14:25:53
verse 36 (Ku Klux Klan) - revisited	Erzahl Leo M. Espino	Erzahl--I certainly do remember your first posting of this "dark truism" piece. And, my sentiments have not changed: this American group's infamous notoriety for terriorising Blacks is well documented in the annals of history. Your use of "K" allits not only present an array of harsh consonance (and rightly so) but, inference the significant horrors visited on a selected faction of USA citizentry. This post/ theme is in direct opposition to Dr. King's ideology but, a gutwrenching reality. Thanks for the timely reminder, it serves to enhance the deeds of the honorable MLK. TLW	2005-01-19 13:12:57
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