Sherri L Smith's E-Mail Address: dancer6477@insightbb.com
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Poem Title	Poet Name	Critique Given by Sherri L Smith	Critique Date
Shadow's last sigh	marilyn terwilleger	Dear Marilyn, I just finished critiquing your looking glass poem and when I read this one, it seemed to just pull me into the stor a little bit more. Your lady is now looking out her casement window, with sighs, looking at the barren and bleak, even though the sun might be shining and flowers blooming. To me it is a continuing story about the loss of a loved one, and the pain that comes with that. I think it is a perfect fit for your Looking Glass poem. Good reading, enjoyed both very much. Sherri	2004-02-06 14:50:14
Her Looking Glass	marilyn terwilleger	Dear Marilyn, This poem brings to mind a medival castle, and the lady of the Manor waiting for her husband to come home. He is her light, and their love is strong. He does return after many years, only to be so ill that he wastes away before her very eyes. Afraid to look into the looking glass where she once saw a beautiful and happy Lady, secure in her husband's love. Now she sees only the emptiness of her eyes and her future looks dark and grim. Anyway, that is my fantasy! When I read the poem I read a whole story into it. To me that is the sign of a good writer! You let me interpret your poem into my own little story. This was an enjoyable read and I am glad I had the privilege to read and critique it. Sherri	2004-02-06 14:46:17
Love Me This Way	DeniMari Z.	Dear Poet I like the whole premise of this poem...it is straightforward and it is completely honest. I like honest poems right from the heart. My only suggestion would be to take some of the longer lines and try to condense them and in some to try seperating the lines into tercets a little differently. For instance: Take this heart - share my life, Be my everlasting friend - two of us complete as one till the very end. Suggestion: Take this heart - share my life Be my everlasting friend Two as one till the very end You asked for suggestions and those are just one poets take on a poem that I enjoyed very much. Mostly due to the total honesty that is portrayed here. Thanks for sharing. Sherri	2004-02-05 14:09:08
The Reader	Debbie L Fischer	Dear Debbie, I know the painting you are talking about and it is beautiful. Your words in this poem do it justice as they paint a remarkable word picture. I really don't have anything that I would change in any way. It is beautiful in it's own right. It leaves me with a nice soothing relaxing picture to end my night and go to sleep with it in my minds eye. Thanks! Sherri	2004-02-02 21:45:17
I Must Go Down To The Sea Again	Mell W. Morris	Dear Mell, You have captured the essence of the sea and why I am so drawn to it. I have lived in the midwest all my live and still do, but I am drawn to the sea when ever I go to either coast. It makes me so peaceful and so serene. The alliteration, the s sounds that you used, just adds to the flow and the serenity of the piece. Internal rhyming is also nice as well. Care/share inflection/affection. I think the soft s alliteration in the first stanza just sets the tone for the whole work. Thanks for giving me a little serenity in a busy hectic day. Love, Sherri	2004-02-02 14:13:52
A Life Sentence	Mell W. Morris	Dear Mell, This poem could have been written by me. Although my Mother has passed away, I still feel the pain and can still her the "voice" in my head telling me that I can't do this, and I can't do that, and why am I wasting time on trying to write, and there are other things I should be doing besides reading a book. I had 16 months of constant care of my Mom, she battled for all it was worth, and only about 2 weeks before she died, did she even begin to talk to me like someone...an equal. She rarely showed any affection and only at the end of her life could she even say "I love you." from Mother's dismissive gestures: her lack of care semaphored in an arms-length stance, a constant sardonic commentary, by her oft- repeated put-downs, by a chronicity of frowns. Never a light touch, the slightest caress, no soft words of compassion. All of the above could have been said about my Mother, and a few other things as well. My heart goes out to you and others who are caring for elderly parents. It is hard enough when your childhood was happy, but in other circumstances, it is very very hard. Thanks for sharing this with us, I do find that writing about it does help. I will keep you in my prayers... Love, Sherri	2004-02-02 14:04:33
DENIAL	Mick Fraser	Dear Mick, Acrostics are fun to write and a pleasure to read. This one is done very well, mostly I just love the simplicity of them. So few words, but the thoughts that are conveyed are wonderful. I found that it is not a simple task to make your thoughts known following the patterns and so very few words. You did a great job on this one. Thanks for sharing, Sherri	2004-02-01 22:15:33
acrostic 2 (Prodigal Son)	Erzahl Leo M. Espino	Dear Erzahl, This is different from your haiku's and because it wasn't written straight down, at first I didn't get it. The more I read it and the more I looked at it, the better it got. Thank Heavens, God accepts lost souls, where would we be? We are so lost sometimes, just feeling our way around and lots of times, going down paths of destruction that we aren't even aware of. I pray each day, "Lord, direct my steps." Nice change, still very much an "Erzahl" poem. I am a fan! Sherri	2004-02-01 22:08:56
Porcelain Dolls	Debbie L Fischer	Dear Debbie, I can totally identify with this poem. My grandmother who I lived with off an on till about 6th grade, favored my brother, then when we were living with my mother, then it was my other brother that was favored. Then when my two little sisters came along, well I was the babysitter by then. It brings back all the hurt that I felt and resentment. And guess what? I collect porcelin dolls too! and toys! and clothes and shoes and all of things that I was denied as a child. I also crave hugs and closeness to my children and grandchildren. Sounds like our childhoods were a lot alike. Thanks for sharing this poem. I think I have begun to deal with all that, then Wham! I am hit upside the head with it again. That's ok, I am stronger for it. Sherri	2004-02-01 21:51:00
Daydream	Stormy D Morris	Dear Stormy, Glad to have you here! This is a very romantic and sexual poem that is also in very good taste. I like the way that you used spacing to enhance the visual image of the poem. You did a very nice job on this "first in years", keep it up and glad to have you on the site. Sherri	2004-02-01 17:10:51
A Day	Stormy D Morris	Dear Stormy, You sould like a very busy person. I like your one word lead in, then right to the explanation line. It was a very effective way of taking us through one of your busy days. I found as I grew older, that it is much healthier to try to slow down, enjoy eeach day, take time to read, play with your kids, and love your family. This was a good read. Sherri	2004-01-31 12:58:26
A Vanishing Trick	Rebecca Lee	Dear Rebecca, I felt that this written deep from within your heart. We all have that one thing that we wish we could undo, hide, never think about again. It is hard to know what to do with it and I felt every word that you wrote. I find that writing does help, makes you take it out, examine it, and lessens the guilt, pain, and uneasiness that you feel. This was a heartfelt poem, and they are always the hardest to critique as they are so much a part of the writer. You did a good job expressing your emoitions, the broken format and short, terse lines add to the pathos of the poem. Good Job, good luck. Sherri	2004-01-31 12:56:00
I, raindrop	Robert L Tremblay	Dear Robert, Ths simple stuff is what I can enjoy. Each little raindrop dripping with a truth, very easily understood and to read. I liked this one quite a bit. Thanks for sharing, Sherri	2004-01-31 10:56:28
NUCLEAR MADNESS (old acrostic)	Robert L Tremblay	Dear Robert, I like acrostic poems. They are difficult to write and still keep the format and the message intact. You did a good job on this one. WMD's are madness, I pray that they are tightly controlled. Better yet, gotten rid of altogether. Sherri	2004-01-28 13:59:46
japanese verse 38 (Seahorse)	Erzahl Leo M. Espino	Dear Erzahl, How do you do it? Mine seem so bland after reading yours! Ahhh I am working on them. This one has especially beautiful imagery. I like it. Sherri	2004-01-28 13:58:04
Farther Father	Regis L Chapman	Dear Regis, One thing stands out to me in your additional notes. You didn't pick your Father, you had no choice in the matter. I can share your feelings as I had some of the same feelings about my Mother. I have used poetry and writing to help me work through so many issues involving my childhood. Now I understand that my adult life has been affected by my past but I am free to make a better life for myself and my children and grandchildren. I made some mistakes as a Mother too, but have tried to make amends where I could. Your agony speaks through out this poem, and again I can empathize with you. Keep writing, keep getting it all out on paper. You indeed will see continued progress. The last two lines affected me, my Mom discouraged my writing and I quit writing for 35 years. Now I know that I will continue to follow my heart, live my dream, and even now I feel fulfilled. Thanks for sharing, I know this had to be a hard poem to write. Been there, done that. Best, Sherri	2004-01-27 07:04:40
WMD (acrostic)	Mick Fraser	Dear Mick, You did a good job with this acrostic, although I don't share your views. I love my country and support my troops, I have four kids involved in the military. The fact that I disagree with your words, does not stop me from appreciating the style and the thought that you put into this poem. Sherri	2004-01-27 06:56:18
Tornado	marilyn terwilleger	Hi Marilyn, Congratulations on your first acrostic! It is a very good one for a first attempt, getting in all the elements of the weather and the sounds and sights of the devastation. The last line might be the only line I would tinker with. I would use something other than slaps--maybe touches, brushes, of all in it's path. Just a few suggestions. Great first time effort, and welcome back! Sherr	2004-01-25 16:59:22
Delay	Regis L Chapman	Dear Regis, Yes a very compact little poem that does spell out modern life! Hurry up and wait used to be what my ex used to say about the Army, and it applies to a lot of other areas of life as well. Short little quatrain with lots of meaning. Sherri	2004-01-17 17:59:16
Blue Tide	Mell W. Morris	Dear Mell, Goodness gracious girl, you are making me work! All those new words and sounds that I have to look up cause I haven't read them before! I think this is my favorite part of this particular poem: With that insight, a score of sun-lit airs pours inside to luminesce, to erase the shadows Erasing the shadows, whatever it takes! I love the sunlight and when I am home and it is dreary outside you can bet that I have plenty of lights on. Your internal rhymes are just fabulous, thrill/fill, light/might etc. Great work here Mell. Sherri	2004-01-17 17:46:06
Inktip	Donna L. Dean	Dear Donna, This is a simple little poem that expresses quite a bit. What does our pens bring forth? You hit the nail on the head with your list, pretty much covered the territory. I seem to never know what will flow from my pen when I sit down to start writing. Sometimes a list can turn into a poem, sometimes my feelings pour out of my pen, sometimes just a short little moment in time becomes a short story or an article. Very interesting take on what comes out of the pen. Sherri	2004-01-17 16:39:50
Michelle	Claire H. Currier	Dear Claire, How much I understand this poem which comes from a Mother's heart. My boys are so special to me, as well as all of my grandchildren. This is a very nice tribute to your daughter that I know comes straight from your heart! Sherri	2004-01-17 16:12:40
Orbituary	Sergio M chavez	Sergio, Keep on using your writing a s aform of therapy, yes it can be shocking and disturbing but if it helps to vent your fears, your anger or whatever you need to vent then keep on doing it. My suggestion, to go back and write about those things in your childhood that have affected you negatively. I have done that in my own life, and all published now in a chap book. I feel vindicated, cleansed by this baring of my soul and even if never published or read by anyone else, it does help to get it all out. I found that the festering sores in my life, soon started healing and I can think on those incidents with much more objectivity and without as much pain as I used to have. Thanks for sharing, keep writing, keep venting, healing can come. Sherri	2004-01-17 12:41:37
Fear	Sergio M chavez	Dear Sergio, This is a very disturbing piece, I hope it isn't autobiographical. If so, I do hope you can find someone to trust and talk to. It is very open, very straight forward. I appreciate this kind of work as that is the way that I write as well. I say it from the heart and the guts and just let it pour out with no fancy words to make it look pretty. Hope this venting has done some good. Best of luck. Sherri	2004-01-17 12:36:05
japanese verse 37 (Top)	Erzahl Leo M. Espino	Dear Erzahl, Again a very beautiful rendition of haiku. Always in perfect for, (Iwould expect nothing less) and since I have now written a few of these myself, I know how difficult it can be to put your thoughts into such a structured form and make it work, as well as make it beautiful. You are the master, still think you ought to branch out, send in to some places that want haiku especially, likes Brooks Books. Thanks for sharing, Sherri	2004-01-17 12:32:20
Belonging	siddharth Gopalakrishna	Dear Siddharth This poem struck a chord with me. I too, always longed to belong, to be loved and accepted for who I am. It took me more than 40 years to finally accept myself. "I am who I am, God made me this way" That is my motto, once I started to like myself and the way that I am, the happier I became. Glad you came to realize this as well. Your style is simple but powerful words, still gets the point across. I like the last stanza as sometimes it comes like a realization, we are unique and each special in our own way. Thanks for sharing this with us. Sherri	2004-01-17 11:48:27
Blazing Mustang	Robert L Tremblay	Dear Robert, You did a great job of this, I know it must be extremely difficult. Congratulations on your special critique. That is quite an honor! Sherri	2004-01-11 11:06:14
japanese verse 36 (Ku Klux Klan)	Erzahl Leo M. Espino	Dear Erzahl, You know I think you are the master. Keep it up! Sherri	2004-01-08 14:34:34
Visions of Yesterday	Claire H. Currier	Dear Claire, What a beautiful and touching piece! It has great visuals in it and lots of heartfelt emotion. May God bless you Mother in the days ahead, I am glad that she still has some of her good memories. Sherri	2003-12-30 15:50:31
Country Pumpkin	Claire H. Currier	Dear Claire, This one made me smile! I could just picture the chase that went on and those pesky squirrels sure can cause some damage if they get into the house. My Mom had made a friend of one who would come to the door and beg for corn! Once it got in, he no longer got fed! Just brought back some funny memories. Country life, maybe, we do have some of the same things in the city. Coons, squirrels and rabbits that eat my flowers! Even a ground squirrel that we thought we would never get rid of! This was a fun read even thought I have never been able to eat wild game no matter what it was! A phobia I guess. Have a happy and successful New Year! Sherri	2003-12-28 13:02:55
The Stoop	Mell W. Morris	Dear Mell, What a wonderful homespun tale, vivid with it's imagery! It involves all the senses and is appealing both in it's style and also the sights and smells that it evokes. The title "The Stoop" is an appropriate one and a beautiful way to end the poem with the mother and daughter sitting on the stoop looking at the wonders of nature. A sense of hope is there also and knowing that dawn will come with fresh wonders to see. Wonderful work Mell, you keep getting better and better. Love Sherri Hope you and Gary have a wonderful and healthy New Year.	2003-12-28 12:32:53
Christmas in Texas	Mell W. Morris	Dear Mell, Of course I had to comment on this poem. It reminds me of my son in law who is from Texas and speaks with that southern drawl. He has told some of his traditions and one of them that he has shared with us is stuffed jalpenos! A little too hot for my taste butI have been assured that they are delicious. I hope your Christmas was all that you hoped for and you have the best New Year yet! With good health in abundance! Thanks for sharing. Love, Sherri	2003-12-27 11:58:19
japanese verse 35 (Manger)	Erzahl Leo M. Espino	Dear Erzahl, This is another wonderful example of the wonderful work you do in haiku. You inspired me and when I wrote the one and only one, it seemed to flow from my pen without any effort! This is a wonderful tribute to the season and for the greatest gift of all, God's son. Your imagery is wonderful, keep up the good work! Happy New Year. Sherri	2003-12-27 11:38:04
An Old Man's Song On Christmas Eve	Rick Barnes	Dear Rick, It is very nice to have you back, and with your Christmas poem too! I liked the whole tone of this poem, the memories that we hear in our heads at night, and a reminder that we have had so many people touch our lives. Each of them leaving their own mark. Also, a reminder that our actions can touch so many people and maybe influence good or bad. The last stanza has a wealth of meaning. There are those that are not physically around us but we still feel their warmth and their influence and love. What a great reminder for this Christmas season. Hope your new year is happy. Sherri	2003-12-27 11:34:09
Saluting Robert Creeley	Mell W. Morris	Dear Mell, I have read this as it has been on my list for a while, but I wanted to read his work before I commented. Now I understand the poem! Thanks for sharing and giving us a look at a modern poet. I learned of someone new and it brightened my day! Happy Holidays to you and Gary. Love, Sherri	2003-12-19 13:15:26
The Blizzard (A Story Poem)	Drenda D. Cooper	Dear Drenda, This is a haunting tale and put so aptly and visually into poem form. I can see the hunter, oblivious to what is around him, going after his prey. I can see the snow first falling gently, (as it is here today) then coming down in blinding snow blankets. This is a good comparison to some of us humans that work to attain a goal only to lose our soul for it. Good reminder, great visual poetry! Happy Holidays Sherri	2003-12-19 10:07:06
cleansing	Sandra J Kelley	Dear Sandra, This tells me of a lost love maybe or a lost lifestyle, or maybe just the loss of a dream that was being held dear. Maybe it could be the diary of a bad relationship, it is nice to be able to put our won thoughts and feelings into this, and make it mean something to me! I especially liked the line: She wipes tears of smoke or of memory from her eyes overseeing the burning. That speaks volumes and I can picture myself doing something like that and crying as I did it. Thanks for sharing, have a wonderful Holiday! Sherri	2003-12-17 12:30:36
Caroling	marilyn terwilleger	Dear Marilyn, This is a very nostologic poem and is so sweet, with the pure innocence of girl scouts and the smells of ginger snaps and hot chocolate. I loved the way that the words of the carols matched the second line, like it is part of the song. Really really nice, gets me more into the Christmas season. Sherri	2003-12-16 20:08:43
Establishing Vocabulary	Mell W. Morris	Dear Mell, What a clever way to incorporate a bunch of new words! Some I admit I had to look up! But to also tell a story of a poet striving for perfection in such a concise way too, is a great feat. Congratulations on a job well done. Sherri	2003-12-16 07:42:41
Ice Daggers	marilyn terwilleger	Dear Marilyn I see you have been inspired by Erzahl also. I am beginning to enjoy the haiku form. Short, sweet but says so much! This is very nice, thanks for sharing. Sherri	2003-12-15 09:10:56
Awaken	marilyn terwilleger	Dear Marilyn, I don't believe in things that just "happen". I do believe that sometimes dreams can bring us warning and understanding of things that are past. I am glad to see that you diagnosis was incorrect and you are still here with us. I had a dream once that foretold of loss of my husband not long after that, we had a terrible storm, my husband was out fixing siding when a major elect wire came down right across the ladder he had just climbed down from. He is now my ex but do still remember that incident vividly. Thanks for sharing your experience. Sherri	2003-12-12 08:20:15
MAN-HATER	April Rose Ochinang Claessens	This story is a horrible tragedy, but unfortunately these things do happen in this world. When a girl has been assaulted they all can respond in different ways. Some may grow promiscuous while others shun anything to do with sex at all. The first stanza sets the tone for the whole poem. It is very stark and spells it out exactly how it was. The loss of innocence, her doll falling to the ground. A symbol of childhood that is lost and untold years of torment and memories. This was beautiful april, thanks for sharing. Sherri	2003-12-12 08:14:31
Poetry (in the Tradition of Science)	Jordan Brendez Bandojo	Jordan, What a unique scientific verse! I don't understand all the wonders of nature and how the world revolves, but I am glad that it does and know that it is in God's hands. I especially like your last stanza and we here at TPL are very glad that your Dad's sperm and your Mother's egg cell hooked up! Enjoying your critiques and your poetry here. By the way, where are you from? Sherri	2003-12-12 08:09:32
Snow * Revised into Rondolets*	Drenda D. Cooper	Dear Drenda, No need to apologize here! This is a learning place where we all can feel free to experiment and do things differently without being censored. I wouldn't know the rondelet style as I said before, but I just liked the subject! Sherri	2003-12-11 22:38:23
Life at ThePoeticLink	Jordan Brendez Bandojo	Dear Jordan, A very nice tribute to all the wonderful poets and critiquers here at TPL. I too have learned so much in the time that I have been here. They also gave me the courage to try to fulfill my dream of being a published writer. Their encouragement and support have meant so much to me in my writing life. Thanks for sharing. Sherri	2003-12-11 09:28:47
Snow ( A Rondolet )	Drenda D. Cooper	Drenda, I am less familiar with the structured poetry then I should be, but this one grabbed my attention and I wanted to comment on it. Snow, we see a lot here, but that is one thing that my son misses by living in the south now. He only wants to see it once tho! He likes the temperate weather down there. (Alabama) Snow can be lovely, and beautiful to see. I love the first snow of the season, when all is blanketed and sun is reflecting off of it. Then, it goes to dirty slush, then by the end of the winter, we are all ready to have it melt away and be gone! Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this wintery subject! Sherri	2003-12-11 09:18:09
A Failure To	Thomas Edward Wright	Thomas, Again I am in awe, this is a wonderful poem full of feeling and of course very timely. I agree wholeheartedly, leave the criminals in a cell where they belong, not where they can get ahold of another poor innocent. Thanks for sharing, Sherri	2003-12-07 23:46:57
As to the Site of the Preservation of Memories	Thomas Edward Wright	Thomas, This brought tears to my eyes. Almost the exact pattern that my Mom's illness took. From Mayo, where I heard the awful words, "I thought it was malign, but it isn't." Such a horrible time, and downhill from there, I feel your pain, I have been there. I am glad that you could write it, I don't think I have actually been able to put that time of my life into words. You have done it beautifully. Sherri	2003-12-07 23:44:35
japanese verse 33 (Snow Capes)	Erzahl Leo M. Espino	Dear Erzahl, Another beautiful word picture! I am beginning to be a fan of haiku. Sherri	2003-12-01 21:51:42
The Other Side	Mell W. Morris	Dear Mell, So glad to see you back to writing and critiquing again. I have been very busy but wanted to comment on the poems that spoke directly to me. I love a covered bridge, the old wooden kind that only one horse and carriage could go through at a time. They have some lovely ones in Brown Co. Indiana and I always enjoy walking through them and thinking of what those planks would say if they could talk. You tickled my imagination! I loved it. Love, Sherri	2003-11-30 16:13:02
Poem Title	Poet Name	Critique Given by Sherri L Smith	Critique Date

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