DeniMari Z.'s E-Mail Address: writer356@hotmail.com

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Poem Title	Poet Name	Critique Given by DeniMari Z.	Critique Date
Crowded	Jana Buck Hanks	Jana, This is more than just an interesting read. It is something that "I" have felt, and came face to face with those feelings in this poem. Interesting structure, that enhances the flow of this piece, while the reader takes in, the depressed state of the writer, and the feeling that no hope exists, for "tomorrow's bloodless god-forsaken nothingness" is what will be for them. Your last verse is my favorite, and it makes me want to stand up and scream, and say, enough is enough, because no one, no spirit should be put into that state of mind, for any reason. Whether, these feelings are the result of an illness (as in my case), or tired of a certain routine, neither of us is doing ourselves any kind of favor. "cease to be me", stands out in this poem. I can compare that to an identity crisis, or crossroad where one needs to move forward into a more positive direction. I hope we do, and soon. Sincerely, Denimari	2006-01-22 22:48:10
The Nobility of Cats	Kenneth R. Patton	Dear Kenneth, Very nicely written with true sentiments of someone who is missing their pet. Imagery is good, and sets the stage of the cat missing from his familiar spots in the house. This is really very sad, and could bring tears when you say, that you lack the power to bring that kind of warmth back into your life, and home. I have recently become a new cat owner (he's 9 mos old now)and the star of our house (lol), I can relate to all of your sentiments. In it's simplicity, you've told a very warm, touching tale and for that I thank you. Sincerely, Denimari	2006-01-22 22:39:38
Moonless Nights	marilyn terwilleger	Dear Marilyn, This is pretty enough to be a song, very well done and greatly enjoyed by this reader. I also appreciate your note and your great sense of humor. I love the title you've chosen for this - it's very poetic, not something I've heard anyone say before. There is the comparison between youth and aging, and the imagery in contrast to the two, is what especially appealed to me in this poem. Moonless nights of age darken the soul as hope and joy pales... brings on such a sad feeling but at the same time is such a wonderful line, one can't help but smile at the thought of it. January has been such a good month here at TPL, there are some amazing poems posted and this one will be added to my voting list. I'm so glad you've decided to give the guys a run for their money. Sincerely, DeniMari	2006-01-20 21:11:21
dirty christian	Medard Louis Lefevre Jr.	Dear Medard, Only a true believer would be able to pen these thoughts, and you have written some very profound verses. Your message is clear, and easy to read. Either one, truly believes and lives according to their religous beliefs, or flips the off/on button according to what suits them and not God. While I may not agree with all you have written as in: you mistakenly worship the dark prince instead only a fallen angel can speak to a dirty christian you have conveyed a point of which you value to be true. I really liked the following lines: His heart bleeds love for you despite what you do you cannot pollute His book with soiled hands I believe depavity is spelled wrong, think there's an r in there, probably just a minor type-o. This was a good read, and very thought provoking. Sincerely, Denimari	2006-01-19 01:04:00
Adrift on Cloud Nine	Mary J Coffman	Dear Mary, You have a nice style of writing. This poem, flows well and is easily comprehended. You have created the feeling of passion and lust between two, in some genuinely unique phrases. I enjoyed the spiritual part of this piece and it's enhancement to it. This poem has a mesmorizing effect on the reader, but also at the same time, creates a feeling of anticipation - as the story unfolds. Very nicely written, the dots ..... add a bit of suspense to your lines. I don't see any changes to be made to this, I like it just the way it is. Sincerely, DeniMari	2006-01-15 02:18:04
A Woman Combing	Thomas Edward Wright	Dear Thomas, Wow, is my first thought on your poem. Exceptional piece, I'm very much in awe after reading it. You have used powerful imagery in this, specifically unique lines that add to the art of poetry and I view this as art, in it's best form. Rather than touching on each aspect of this piece, which I found to be well worth reading, I would only like to say, this will be added to my list of favorites for this month. I see absolutely nothing to enhance this in any way and feel it stands on it's own. My best to you, Denimari	2006-01-14 17:05:54
Song of the Undescribed	Regis L Chapman	Dear Regis, It's so nice to see you posting here again! Also my best to you, in your venture on the yogo farm. It sounds inspiring - and fulfilling to be able to be a part of that. Good luck there. I have to admit, I'm not well educated on the practice other than an exercise review which I took years ago. I remember it being, very relaxing to do, and still on occasion practice the breathing exercises. The individual wellness of a persons spirit, counts for very much and those of us who don't look for it are missing something big. Speaking in the first person, I think, you are telling about getting to know ones self, completely, is that right? I recognize the fact that you've included a chant, but don't know what it is. All lending to the spiritual side of this piece. This is a beautiful thought: I give that you may live and take from you what you cannot use any longer Very deep, and poetic. I'm glad you are back, hope to read more from you. Take care, Denimari	2006-01-14 16:58:05
The Poorly Dressed	James C. Horak	Dear James, According to the Bible, we're not worry about what we wear, but clearly society doesn't agree. Your poem is an exception to this, so what? Really, and you've said so with "Reduced to fashion statement." I like how you've pointed out "Reduced" - because that's exactly what it is. Frivolous spending, conforming to others standards, the idea that the higher the price the better is what we've been brainwashed into believing. So, the person under the $500.00 suit, is still the same person, under the $150.00 suit - right? I got a lot out of this read. I realize that I am not materialistic, nor care about what someone is wearing it's all about the person inside, whether a poet, a doctor or a rock star. Nice job with this. sincerely, Denimari	2006-01-14 16:49:33
a rant	charles r pitts	Dear Charles Personally, I don't consider this poem crap. At best, it's very thought inspiring, especially where human mortality and the element to it are exposed. Great line, "no hearses made with luggage racks", because it completely brings our mortality into perspective - in a unique way! Would haves, should haves and could haves pop into this readers mind, albeit regrets are those for the living. The dead have none and no chance of changing the course of their lives. Wonderfully profound, to this reader and a pleasure to read. Sincerely, Denimari	2006-01-10 13:54:29
Parallel Lives	Kenneth R. Patton	Dear Kenneth, I really enjoyed this, because of it's light humor attached to therapy, and esteem issues. The ending was my favorite part - I wonder who his therapist was, it adds the comic touch to the poem. I can tell you, I've had these issues, on and off again through my life - and I do sympathize with anyone that has low self esteem. It's not easy to overcome - and I personally believe that outside influences play a great part in diminishing esteem in someone who may have never had to realize exactly what it was. In any case, great read, you've lifted my spirits tonight. Thank you. sincerely, DeniMari	2006-01-05 21:44:49
The Time Is Near	Debbie Spicer	Debbie, I'm sorry you had to endure being treated in that manner. I hope once this is over you can put it behind you and move on to bigger and better things. It takes a coward, to abuse someone and obviously the supervisor felt pleasure in harrasing you. What a small minded person they must be. I've often said, in my own life regarding the workplace, "Why do people feel, their job today, is to ruin mine?", and it's true everywhere anymore. I also have to say, I've worked in healthcare most of my life, and it's there you will find, the most of superior attitudes then anywhere else. It's really ashame that others think so highly of themselves, and even though it is wrong, sometimes walking away is the best thing for one to do. You poem speaks volumes in feelings and dark emotions. I wish you the best with your case. Sincerely, DeniMari	2005-12-22 21:51:38
Yuletide Wish For TPL	marilyn terwilleger	Dear Marilyn, This was so nice of you! Such a pretty poem, filled with love and wishes for all of us. It is the season of giving and you have given me, the hope, of having these things materialize this Christmas. This actually would make a great holiday card - just a thought, but it's perfection of capturing the high spirit of the holiday - would be just as nice for anyone, anywhere. Very good read, I enjoyed this very much. DeniMari	2005-12-07 22:08:54
Wishes (for Alanah)	stephen g skipper	Dear Stephen, This piece caught my attention, because I'm a kid at heart when it comes to Christmas. I love the idea of you naming it after your daughter - adding a quality sentimental touch. The flow and rhyme in the first five verses, works well, reads smoothly. This introduction gets the reader into what is happening, in descriptives of the source of each letter. I hesitated with the sixth verse, and the rhyme with these two lines: One letter to this pile that one to another He calls for his helpers with the shout “ come my brothers” - This reads a little choppy to me, so I would rearrange it to something like: One letter in this pile, another over there He calls for his helpers They've no time to spare - Just a suggestion mind you The rest of the piece, flows just as well as the beginning, endearing the reader to enter the magical world of the North Pole. Excellent timing with this piece, with Christmas just weeks away. I know your daughter must have been thrilled to hear this poem. I love the sincerity in the last line: Wishes can come true! It's a relevent ending to a very good poem. sincerely, DeniMari	2005-11-15 22:28:54
My Old Sock	marilyn terwilleger	Dear Marilyn, Such a bittersweet piece, but written in a delicate manner, with deep sentiments that come from the heart and soul. Emotions are played upon in this poem, which creates a sadness throughout the verses. I love your fourth verse, and it definitely goes to the heart of the reader, it flows so well and ties the whole poem together. Reminising, can bring back both fond, and painful memories. If only we could sort them apart, and remember all the good. Also, when thinking back, it's a natural occurance for our emotions to rise, and leave us reeling a little. I enjoyed the way you have depicted our concious memories, and I'll leave you to decide where to hide them for now. take care, DeniMari	2005-10-21 21:24:41
With Grace	marilyn terwilleger	Dear Marilyn, Wow, this is lovely. It has a dramatic flare, which is intensified by the wonderful imagery created in the first three lines - what an astounding thought - which immediately pulled me in - as the reader. The remainder of this poem made me feel peaceful, as the writer made a concious decision on how to proceed - then sad, because I believe the intention here is to someone you've lost - and will never forget. I really enjoyed this, and I wish you the best. Denimari	2005-10-07 18:50:22
Senyru (train watcher)	Joanne M Uppendahl	Dear Joanne, So much comes to mind when I read this, it can be read two ways for me. The literal part: as what is happening in each verse - as imagery guides me to the next stanza. The second part: is how one can relate this piece to passages in time - as lives move on. The first verse is omnimous - creates a surreal picture in my mind. I walk between tracks on gray gravel, leaden clouds return freight train’s roar The second is just as onmimous - steel stallions; nice touch, combined with who run in darkness - the thunderous sound that would make. Death-dealing rumbles, dangerous as steel stallions who run in darkness Last verse ends with a great note of sadness. The writer is letdown, but doesn't want the full feeling interrupt more than it could, so hope is revealed as new trains around the curve will bring a better sight. I curb my letdown, perhaps around the next curve new trains will greet me Whew, hope this all makes sense. I'm exhausted tonight, but wanted to do some catching up here. This is a good read, meaningful - and thought provoking. My best to you as always, DeniMari	2005-09-27 21:51:27
Rumination on Love #1	Jillian K Sorenson	Dear Jillian, I really like this piece in it's entirety. The simplicity of it, is what made it stand out for me. The way you mix the good/bad parts of a relationship is unique;agreeing with your comments. The fairytale part, the uplifting, never can live without part is wonderful. Clever way to make a statement, the negative issues of an attraction are never advertised, are they? That would actually be a great marketing idea. A bottle of mens cologne with a Prince on one side, and the Toad on the other..lol. Of course the womens bottle should have the princess on one side and a maid on the other. Very good poem, flows evenly and had a touch of humor to set it off. sincerely, DeniMari	2005-09-27 21:39:54
Another War	marilyn terwilleger	Dear Marilyn, This is a very intense piece, very emotional evoking a deep sadness in me. My father was in the Korean war, a medic, and almost lost his life there. The imagery here is great, especially like the line: his thousand yard stare - as if all peripheral vision was gone and his eyes saw miles and years away. In his mind the events never fading, just reminders on occasion of reliving the trauma, a bit like Post Traumatic Stress, and those of us who have never seen war firsthand, can only imagine the depth of those feelings. I enjoyed this piece regardless of the sad content, you have lifted him up, and I believe he was forgiven a long time ago by God, for what he did during the war. The times of violence and war prevail here on Earth - what a wonderful honor you have given your late husband in writing this. God Bless, DeniMari	2005-09-25 21:21:10
Wrath	marilyn terwilleger	This is definitely one of the more haunting pieces posted about Katrina, the doom is enforced in each verse, with terrific imagery. You've chosen great descriptives also: ghostly hour, indignant sea, and I especially enjoyed sharpened the teeth of the wind...I can see this huge dark growl of a storm pounding the Earth - within your poem. I can sense the feeling of the people, see them crying, and almost smell the stench you write about. I'm really in awe of this one, and see that this catastophe has as well touched your heart to speak. Great job, DeniMari	2005-09-13 01:19:00
Clearing Skies	Dellena Rovito	Oh Dellena, This poem is exceptional, I've just read it a few times and have enjoyed it more and more. Great imagery creating the picture of the clouds in the sky, love the "flirtatious sun", and the spot light, on and off. This appeals to ones senses, of appreciation to nature and the elements in the world. Very universal... DeniMari	2005-09-10 16:37:28
Ode To A Younger Me	stephen g skipper	Dear Stephen, This is nicely written and full of good advice - akin to proverbs, I might add. Isn't nice to be able to reflect; and know these things instinctively now? The source of wisdom, we can learn from others is never ending - I love see the different prespective other people have on issues in life. Sometimes others can be objective to see what we don't for ourselves. I like the structure of this, as each item should be separated to add clarity. This is inspirational, and uplifting and was an enjoybable read for me. Take care, Deni	2005-09-07 15:10:51
Hungry Heart	Michael Bird	This poem seems to be written with a thread of country spirit. I've read it before, but am just coming back to it. It almost reads like a song, a song of someone very much in love. It's nice to read about love, and this expression is in timely fashion, with anticipation of what is to come. I see some repetition, and I'm not sure how it works with this poem, may have gone over board with hungry heart in the next to the last verse. Otherwise I enjoyed your thoughts on the subject and I'd imagine there is a lucky lady out there, who will benefit from all of these deep feelings. DeniMari	2005-09-05 20:39:16
The Climbing Levels	Mark Andrew Hislop	Dear Mark, This is a wonderfully crafted poem, thought inspiring, that I read repeatedly in attempt to reach the core of it's intent. You have some very unique lines, particularly, Skyfuls of fist, quaking the earth, a very powerful line - a wonderful visual. Your poetry always runs a thread of deep, imaginative, soul searching content, and I as a reader find this ability to be amazing. There is nothing for me to change, or want to change or add to this, as I feel, you have perfected this piece on your own. DeniMari	2005-09-03 20:58:50
Crucible of the Towers	Paul R Lindenmeyer	Dear Paul, What a tug at my heart this was, yes, lest we forget. I like the structure of this piece, good job with that. The repetition of certain lines, takes impact on the reader, as if in suspense for a moment, while going up the stairway. The crews that responded to this: were truly brave, and courageous people, that went above and beyond that day. (Personal note: My son, is an EMT that volunteered 9/11 evening from 3am - 11am), with a group from his squad that formed to volunteer. I pray that we as Americans never experience anything like this tragedy again. Very nice dedication. Sincerely, DeniMari	2005-09-03 20:52:51
Unscheduled return	Mark Andrew Hislop	Dear Mark, I'm going to guess, that this is about a bitter love affair, there is sarcasm within your lines, that tends to make me think, Unscheduled Return is NOT a welcoming event. You have some very cleverly written lines in this: I especially like, My tongue, however, licks the floor with my footsteps. I was going to offer you the use of my mop, but that's the silly side of me. So, I love the ending, sarcasm noted - but what is the dirt? The part of this relationship that you know holds nothing in it for you? I enjoyed this, if I was wrong on content, just let me know. DeniMari	2005-09-03 13:21:51
Your Face	marilyn terwilleger	Dear Marilyn, This is an interesting poem, as it creates a visual and a deep loving emotion within the reader. All captured in a moment in time, the look, the connection, which created a bond between two people. I last saw your smile frozen in time, makes me wonder, if someone has passed on, if they are not around anymore to smile for you to see. All in all I enjoyed this, it has a tender touch, and speaks volumes on that of love. Good poem. Sincerely, DeniMari	2005-08-31 17:13:59
let me hold you	Christina Morrow	Dear Christina, This is a compassionate, inspiring poem, as the writer feels empathy towards someone who is in pain. It's an upliting idea, for someone, to want to help another, and carry some of their pain, whether it be physical or emotional. It also takes a lot of courage to do this, and to be selfless when another is in need. I like the structure of this poem, the short verses, and the rhyming scheme make it a easy piece to read. There is no hidden message in your words, it is straight forward, simply stated, with something that all of us can relate to. Good job. Sincerely, DeniMari	2005-08-31 17:10:25
Wow poet this is powerful	Mark Andrew Hislop	Hey Mark, I'm hesitant about commenting on this...perhaps I should try to do it, without repeating any of your poem. (Smile). I'm not sure of the message intended, are you saying, you want different language used to comments on your poems? These seem the standard feedback lines, that all of use here. Of course, I think we all try to put a little of our individuality in critiques, but that itself can become risky. I'm glad I stopped to read and comment on this, it was different. DeniMari	2005-08-29 15:29:53
Self-portrait of someone else	Mark Andrew Hislop	So, Mark, I was here, eating sunflower seeds, sipping coffee, in a comfortable place - and bang... the world tipped, and rocked as I read this deeply profound poem, on being. You have some beautiful lines in this piece: ie. Over themselves to reveal the waterfall - Terrific visual Where your naked children bathe. My God, does it hurt so much - Very very deep statement - which actually made me catch my breath. To expand into who You are? Your last verse, as poetic as the first, a true mind opening experience. Great job with this one. Sincerely, DeniMari	2005-08-29 15:25:52
Don't Get Around Much Any More	Mell W. Morris	Dear Mell, My first thought on this poem, was a childhood memory. My father considered B.B. Kings music to be "X" rated back then, and wouldn't let me listen to it....... Back to your poem, breathtaking if you ask me. I love the first few lines, especially the storm entering the day, great imagery that compelled me to read more. You have captured a performance, within a few verses, again with imagery that brings the poem to life in front of my eyes. This piece is quite unique, great idea choosing music as the subject - it's a fresh idea which was enjoyed and will be remembered by this reader. Best to you Mell, sincerely, DeniMari	2005-08-26 20:08:06
Morning Prayer	Joyce P. Hale	Dear Joyce, This is a spiritually uplifting poem, that makes the reader feel joy, happy for a new day. We have so many things to be thankful for - and you have described in poectic fashion things we should not take for granted or ignore. I love your first verse, stay with me Lord, show me, guide me, let me think of you in all I do. We should all take a lesson in this piece, all of those who believe - and find comfort in his words. God bless you, DeniMari	2005-08-23 08:20:04
Give Me Shelter	michaela z sefler	Hi, This poem did inspire a lot of thoughts on my part. I see someone who is unhappy, and not being treated the way they want to in life. There is a hidden anger, and a sarcastic search in questions - as to what they think someone else should offer them. We can expect someone to give us respect, but sometimes the expectations are not met, thus emotions are built, stored then vented. I enjoyed you poem, not sure of all the punctuation being necessary, it may read smoother without. Remember, we "allow" people to treat us the way they do, by tolerating it - Great write. DeniMari	2005-08-23 00:21:55
Pole in Hand	Claire H. Currier	Dear Claire, What a beautiful memory to pay tribute to. I'm sure your family is amazed with how you've relayed this story. I can just imagine, the chaos of the lure caught on the ear..poor little guy, I hope he was brave. For those of us who fish, or in my case used to, this is a good piece to relate to. You've built it up with anticipation of the day, as the son prays against rain. Each stanza is separated by the event taking place, which makes it easy to read and comprehend. This is a heart warming poem, that lends joy to the reader. Good job. Sincerely, DeniMari	2005-08-21 21:53:36
A Poem With a Title Longer Than Itself	Kenneth R. Patton	Dear Ken, This is just too much fun, really -I'm sitting here laughing and it feels good. Thank you for posting this. What to say, what to say? Hmmm, good structure, spelling is perfected, and although there is no rhyming scheme it seems to work in this piece. Could this be the shortest poem ever written? Of course you have inspired thoughts as to what it is that is true. Wonderful, imaginative, the humor of it is greatly appreciated, and your title fits well. Thank you again for making me smile. DeniMari	2005-08-10 21:32:32
The Grooms Gift	stephen g skipper	Dear Stephen, This is a refreshing love poem, that presents itself with good structure and a nice rhyming scheme. You have targeted true love, joy and happiness with each verse you have written. Your bride is a very lucky woman, to have found someone with a great depth of passion in their heart. The title befitting to the event and occasion being celebrated. Your message tells us you have met, the one, who makes your life complete - and is responsible for the elation showed within each verse. My best to you both, for a long, and happy life together, I very much enjoyed your poem. Sincerely, DeniMari	2005-08-07 23:22:11
Epiphany	Latorial D. Faison	Excellent piece Latorial, and I as the reader can see the racial content immediately in this poem. Knowing you, and your writing I see someone who wants a different perspective on the world. All beings - together to form a society that creates a good picture for everyone to enjoy. Much to our dismay, things were set up long before you or I were ever considered and it's a heartbreaking truth that we hate to entertain. At best we can be sure that God wasn't the one responsible for this, that man, and the ignorance of man, set the rules, brainwashed others - and the ideas have been brought forth into this day and age. You are a wonderful person, and a truly talented writer - thanks for posting and sharing this. I too, would like to see your rainbow. Sincerely, DeniMari	2005-07-26 14:55:10
A Spiritual Decision	Latorial D. Faison	Dear Latorial, I needed a good dose of spirituality today, and I thank you for posting this. I often wonder where my beliefs run off to when amidst adversity - especially now at a point in my life when I am standing at a crossroad, wondering which way to go. Your poem has a touch of eloquence to it, and sends out hope to all who read it. Simply stated, yet boldly profound, a wisdom learned from the master himself. I'm thinking of following this - and yes, pick up this cross and follow where ever he leads me to. Brilliant write, Sincerely, DeniMari	2005-07-13 17:41:52
Feed Me	Mandie J Overocker	Dear Mandie, It seems like you've had fun with this piece, and that's a good thing. Low blood sugar, something I live with daily as I am hypoglycemic - seems simple can can create a lot of trouble for someone. I think anyone who has felt hunger, can relate to this. That empty feeling, and waiting is not one of my favorite past times, so the writer here is loosing patience; which tends to happen in moments like these. Then the ending, shouted out in caps.... exactly what you want that you've waited for for hours, food now. All in all this was an enlightening poem - simple and easy to comprehend. Hope the meal you had at the end of this wait, was worth every bite. Sincerely, DeniMari	2005-07-05 19:50:10
The Healing	Mandie J Overocker	Dear Mandie, This poem brings back fond memories, of the Quija board and how we used to love to fool around with it. My son still has one here at home, and now and again we pull it out just to pass time. I have to admit, we never made contact with anyone, just played and asked it mindless questions for entertainment purposes only. The fact that you may have communicated with a lost soul, brings Sylvia Brown to mind - just thought I'd mention it. Your poem has good descriptive imagery and the presence of a spiritual quality that could light up anyones imagination. Sincerely, DeniMari	2005-07-05 18:30:33
Day 4 (revised)	Mandie J Overocker	Dear Mandie, I'm deeply sorry for the pain you've carried, and depression, PTSD/Dis Disorder are very treatable, illnesses with the right plan for someone. It takes something extremely traumatic, to create this disorder, and I feel for you, and wish you all the best. You have more than conveyed a traumatic event here, and I wish you peace, truly you are most deserving of it. My best to you, I enjoy your writing. DeniMari	2005-07-04 21:49:40
I'll Call Him Bob	marilyn terwilleger	Dear Marilyn, This poem touched a deep spot in my heart, you see, I have a sister battling cancer right now, and the cancer is winning. She is a nurse, and is full aware of all of the medical aspects concerning her treatment and prognosis. Perhaps that could be an advantage in her case, although all the knowledge in the world can't make the 7 brain tumors go away. Radiation has helped, thank God but it's a daily struggle for her now. This is a beautiful poem, full of compassion, understanding, and that you give of yourself in this way, is truly inspiring. I've worked in places where I was exposed to the sadness you describe in this poem, and it does have an affect on one. Very good post, at some point in time, I hope we find a way to cure this monster. Sincerely, DeniMari	2005-07-04 21:43:46
Beauty in the eyes of the beholder	Dellena Rovito	Dear Dellena, I have to tell you this poem, brought an instant smile to my face. I love your narrative, on how women feel they must primp - and starve - just to get the seal of approval from others. From this you state the absolute wonderful truth - about vanity - and what society expects from us, and the cold harsh truth is - double standards - very nicely done Dellena. I think we all should want to look our best - but not at the cost of loosing what we really are inside. How much money is wasted on products that promise beauty and eternal youth - I've got plenty of them in my vanity - yet they are all the same to me. Your second verse is all the more thought provoking - let this - me - have you see me in my poised perfection, and perhaps you'll like me this way - or perhaps not. The title is good, we all have been told, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, many times. But, why is pretty better than ugly? Due to genetics everyone looks different - isn't the heart that beats in the ugly person, just as wonderful as the heart in the pretty person? Well, enough of my goings on - very good poem. Sincerely, DeniMari	2005-07-02 11:10:22
haiku (snowplow)	Joanne M Uppendahl	Dear Joanne, I can see and feel, the picture here. Winters are my favorite season of all, so I have witnessed this, many times in my life. "Feels flury's waste of kisses", is poetic as poetic gets. All that snow, just bounding up and flying around the snowplow, creating this white on white in your poem. You have a true sense of what writing is, what the reader is looking for and how to entertain us as you do it. You know I'm a fan, and I'm not looking for high critique scores, but I think credit should be given where credit is due and you have a natural born gift - A God given talent if you will, that you amazingly share, unselfishly each month with those of here. I've never tried haiku - I'm still trying to get the hang of free verse. I have no suggestions or changes to offer you (as usual) but that's ok, right? Best to you. Sincerely, DeniMari	2005-06-29 17:02:46
Arnie	Latorial D. Faison	Dear Latorial, It's so refreshing to see a bond formed here, within this site - as you have so aptly described in your poem. Whatever kindness was bestowed upon you, your gratitude clearly comes through in your piece on "Arnie". This poem puts a smile on the readers face - and the knowledge that it speaks from your heart to another, makes it all the more worth the words you've written. Very nicely done, Sincerely, DeniMari	2005-06-28 10:01:14
The Dream	Mandie J Overocker	Dear Mandie, This poem is so sad. "Weep for me no more", "I have left them behind", pushed back away, blocked out of the mind for sanities sake, I suspect. Moving on, past hurtful events is a courageous thing to do. To write about it, express it, and let others share the experience is a very open minded thing to do. God Bless you, and send you all the happiness you deserve. Another good post! It's free verse flows well, and the content although of a deep nature, is easily comprehendable to the reader. The only thing that stumped me here, was the title. I'm sure it ties in significantly for you as the writer - but I sense this written not from a dream, but from a true reality. Sincerely, DeniMari	2005-06-26 17:12:53
Depending on What Is Is	Mell W. Morris	Dear Mell, This piece drips with sarcasm - and the intent to properly demean the politician as portraying him to be lustful, indignant, and willing to do whatever it takes to get to where he wants to be. At the end, where you say he needs to remember definitions of small words tends to lean towards a final insult on his intelligience. That perhaps his vocabulary lacks, and he can not communicate in language measured to that of someone educated. I loved this poem, it's decriptiveness bold - but not alarming - just enough said that the reader can see the piece unfold - the pun clearly intended - fits in smoothly - and does not take away from the flow of the piece. Very nicely written, I like your way of thinking - Sincerely, DeniMari	2005-06-26 08:17:48
These Eyes	Donna Carter Soles	Dear Donna, There is more than enough desperation evident within these few stanzas. It definitely has an emotinal impact on the reader - wondering what conflict or inner turmoil the writer is experiencing. To never be able to escape a situation is profoundly depressing. Could it be an illness with no cure? You do say blind eyes, but this could be a metaphor. Lies, tends to lead me more towards abuse, also darkness, wail and scream. At best, the writer is living with something they can no longer tolerate - which is expressed in each of the stanzas. I can only offer my sympathy - and hope to you that whatever it is - will be mended and that you find the courage to make it happen. Good post. Sincerely, DeniMari	2005-06-26 07:39:24
The Road	Mandie J Overocker	Dear Mandie, Wow, you are on a roll this month, one post after another. The creative juices are flowing, aren't they? There is alot of truth, in this piece - it's message tells me - the well traveled road is probably the one that most people follow. There are no risks to be taken on this path, just a comfortable uneventful ride, which is safe and secure. To take the other road, you have to take risks, venture out and be ready for change at any moment. As your poem states, the fuel must be in the engine, the motivation, the energy necessary to go, forward and see where the road takes you. I enjoyed this Mandie, it's very thought provoking and inspiring. Good job. Sincerely, DeniMari	2005-06-26 07:31:24
Pickin	Dellena Rovito	Dear Dellena, This poem is very light hearted, with an unusual rhyming scheme - that seems to work from beginning to end. It is will filled with imagination also. The comparison of unanimated things to others that are not, exceeds in imagery as well as content. The reader can follow the story, see it and use their imagination to complete the tale. All in all I enjoyed this clever upbeat post. Sincerely, DeniMari	2005-06-21 18:12:41
I Wish	Mandie J Overocker	Dear Mandie, Inside the writer, is a pain so deep, so unhealed that it cries out in these stanzas. Time the healer of emotional pain, is on your side but I see no hope of finding that peace in time in this poem. I know for myself, writing is the outlet to vent and express all the intimate details and emotions I hold back. That itself is good, it's a form of release that is needed. I sympathize immensely with your deepest feelings, and I hope you do heal from these events as God would not want you to feel this way the rest of your life. Thanks for sharing this and for having the courage to pen down your thoughts and feelings. Sincerely, DeniMari	2005-06-18 15:48:57
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