Joanne Duval Morgan's E-Mail Address: morgan@net1plus.com
Joanne's Favorite Song: Islands in the Stream, and Bridges

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Poem Title	Poet Name	Critique Given by Joanne Duval Morgan	Critique Date
Tentacles	Regis L Chapman	Hi Regis, I read your posting on the forum about critiquing longer poem. Many points apply here, time constraints, the ability to decren exactly if the poet has stayed within the context of the intent of the poem. Longer poems are difficult to critique in a way, I guess to say making the point of the intent, in the sharpest, most concise manner probably would shorten a piece to the degree that it might be a distraction for the poet to attempt saying it other then what he/she has written. There isn't any doubt in my mind this poem relates to the passing of time, and all the changes it's taken for us to arrive at this point, keeping in mind you are writing of the approach by a varience of individuals to express in the manner of poetry. You're right of course, my brain thust automatically related to all the validity your poem pointing out. Realistically the intent might e a little to seep for the average reader, the brain in each of us, is that different, basically I look for honestly of thrust to carry the intent, I do prefer shorter poetry using the most concise presentation, so of us are rather long winded, and boy we're rushing around to get to who know where. Maybe the dept of poetry now a days is proof positive that we're all in flux, yet when someone writes with a shortened concise, using proper language, inclusing vocabulary to make their point, part of the rush, rush, rush of this particular era in the developement of civilization. Yet in your note you know that statistics (forumla) if you will can accomplish with symolism the whole pictutre of whatever needs discussion, like Logic proves, true or false, valid or invalid, the simplest form to understanding points. Net field you were in, and I can understand your question. You laid of nicely strong points, using the shortest form of expression, just it created a longer then usual poem. I hope this helps, formulas, expression using the best tools (expression) possible sometimes takes the thrust of what the poet intended, the only way he/she could state it has been exactly what your poem covers. I enjoyed reading it a lot, and my instincts told me it was a compilation of all the diversified personalities who write poety, the need to express. Good luck Reeg..........................	2004-01-28 15:38:13
Falling in Love with Food (revised)	Mick Fraser	Hi Mick, It reads like a song, right from the first glimpse it had that cadence that comes with lyrics written to a specific tune. Aside from the writing Mick I have to tell you that I roared when I read this, truthful, to the 9th degree, humerous, and catch, you better believe. Mostly though I'm really affected with your dialogue, my Lord, how funny can a humor poem be? It's been a while since anyone created anything that brings instant laughter, we use to have a couple of poets that wrote with humor, and wrote easily enchantanting the audience. This poem easily fits that mode, and it's so nice to see something posted that tickles the funny bone. So it's definately a winner in my book. Write more, you could develope a real following with poems like this. Living in the dread and gloom, bad news, killing, bad decisions it's a lot of fun to finally read humor, and you string your dialogue in such a way, that you automatically created the rhythm of this poem, good job, so entertaining....Best of Luck Irish I really enjoyed this neat little ditty....Jo Morgan	2004-01-28 06:00:27
I Must Go Down To The Sea Again	Mell W. Morris	Grand linguistics as usual, you never disappoin, never really do. I'm stuck with all engulfing embrace of this poem, the sea mystifies, is unique to itself, in it's poer, but also in the gracefulness your words display here. I'm really having a difficult time, but I hope I've been able to convey, that the embracement is all consuming, as is this poem. Mell you get deep with each submission, and I fight with myself to understand each nuance you protray, this is merte sensation with the sea the canvas, and it's wonderful. The brain is not in sink with the rotations of the earth right now, I read all the poetry, trying to understand all the metaphors, and words placement, the projection the poet is trying to imbue the reader with, this poem is pure sensation, as such I wish I could once again experience the embrace you relate here. Sorry I could do better by you, but it's quite a struggle for me right now. Hope I've at least been able to tell you in my way, I understand the backdop, the analogy, and the lovliness of sensation. Sorry Friendgirl best I can do right now....Love, take care, wish I were coming to Texas for the Super Bowl, quite unable to of course, but you'll be constantly in my thoughts, wishing I could meet you personally....Love Jo	2004-01-21 23:35:53
Pickett's Charge	Ronda Michelle Nelson	Dear Rhonda, I have not had the opportunity to comment on any of your other submissions, to are like that figure that emerges from gray mist, recounting very poetically the reality of Picketts charge, and inclusive in this wonderful narrative, is the human factor, the decisions weighted on political need, it is about the best recounting I've ever read concerning Gettsburg. As a history buff, having visited Hettsburg I can honestly say this poem includes, the emotion, the sensation, and the poets ability to recall so vividly these many years later, the essence of how that one battle determined the Southern faith, and these many years later, the pride of decendents who knew of their ancestors bravery. For me it is complete, it reads very smoothly, and has every portic nuance, it's a wonderfully written historical narrative incorporating all the skills of an excellently written poem. As I said I don't believe I've commented on any other possible submissions of yours, but with this ability you demonstrate I will surely search for any more submissions, for it was accurate, and contained, and held the interest of this reader, and I throughly enjoyed the encounter with your poem. Wonderful, a poem I won't be forgetting...Good luck and give us more, Joanne Morgan	2004-01-16 15:44:44
Shadow's last sigh	marilyn terwilleger	This poem is so lyrical. Of course your speaking of my fravorite time of the day, and your selection of grammer is so quieting, and presents that comfortable glowing sense, the one time of the day each of us can go deeply into ourselves, no noise, nor pressure, just the quiet, prented so well, the cadence, and rhyme is excellent, not forced, the tercets are simply prented, and it allows that comfort zone to engulf my senses at least, it's beautiful, and throughly enjoyed, and to me the prefection with all your well strung descriptives, very, very strong, but soft presentation. Never cease to amaze me, from where came as a newbie, to a wonderful poetress. Congratulations, if the contest means anything, the best of luck, but in any case the poem to me is mafnificent. Love from the frigid Northeast, the poem picked up my spirit, it's the peacefulness, always sought, but sometimes eludes us. You did a great job, love it. Love and God Bless, Jo ( I can't get over the descriptives capturing the full essence, just had to throw that in, for a poem strikes my senses, I feel the full essence of it, and this poem really does that.	2004-01-15 15:40:56
Love Me This Way	DeniMari Z.	You know DeniMari, I can't possible give a critique that is negetive, or even would make suggestions for any improvements you may consider, there isn't anything written that over a period could use tweaking, that's what the finese of writing is. Let me speak of cadence, along with the philosophy of this poem, as it stands it has all the positive impacts on a reader it should have, it's soft, and alluring, and carries the message of honest bonded committment, so as it's projection you've managed nicely to carry the intent of the body of the poem, it's quite lovely, and speaks I believe to anyone that is looking for an idealic union, to death, why allow bumps in the road of life to destroy the basis of what a true relationship is, no bondage, just shared committment and compassion for a soulmate. So you've projected wonderfully, in a cadence in reading the poem that has great appeal. Maybe you'll find a voice that tweaks it into what you consider perfection. From my point of view I accept the writer message, and gut reaction to the effect of the poem is what moves my senses, and to me you have a wonderful basis for a poem that's very lovely, and enjoyable to read, that causes retrospection in every reader that truly understans shared union...yes it's quite lovely. If you choose to polish this submission in some way, I wold take in your words, and acknowledge that a true writer is their own worst critic after enough time has passed, but noone can offer a change in this philosophy, it's very lovely. Maube some of those experts who are language art experts may suggest what are considered improvements, but the poem as it stand is based on emotional dreams, and all of us seek idealistic relationships, that endure, and are shared as equal partners. I love the projection, your choice of grammer, and the wonderful seeking of a union...very lovely indeed...Best regards, Joanne Morgan (JoMo)	2004-01-13 14:31:17
A Life Sentence	Mell W. Morris	My Lord Mell, this cuts close to the bone, your descriptive of youth captured by a place and time, one would think that eventually a measure of person freedom and space would offer respite, but as your poems that's not the way it works, does it, that inborne compassion, the gentle hope for some small gesture of an acceptance that nver comes, but standing in principle based on a love never acknowledged, we are and become cative audiences. The difference between youth and adulthood, is the realization and understand all the drawbacks that eventually turn us into the adults we become, and we ride out the storm of a standoffish parents, and really understand movation, we are all products of our upbringing, and never lose sight of the compassion and understanding that to ultimately live in peace and tranquility means sacrifice. To me this poem is proof positive, that regardless of family there is always disfunction, but we become trapped, and respond accordingly to the needs of an elderly parent, who can't change ways, yet we stick it out, hoping to the end there is an intimate time that the parent acknowledges the cause and effect. Some make the the ultimate ytansition, some never do. You write from the heart, you've dealt realistically with circumstance, never the less that form of rejection sometimes is never resolved, one wonders at the thought process, the awareness that should be a part of a life package, why some get it, and others can't break down the barriers of their own past prisioner status. The child makes the gesture, the child eventually will be able to be at peace, all lives end, some end more peacefully then others, sometimes we're our own worst enemies. Strong poem Mell, contains the right measure of all the human emotions that one can go through from youth to adulthood, and the acceptance that the void will never be filled. You write with such wonderful projection, your poems deal honestly with all manner of subject matter, I would say, for a Hippie, you have it all together, but my point of vuiew I always will wonder why it took my Mother, until the year before she died, to actually open up and speak of the malfunctions in her life, with a disfunctional family determined what tact she would adopt, and how long it took her to realize, I think always at the expense of the child, and in retrospect, how inane it was that people become products of the force of character of those relative that came before. Life is too short, not to be and adopt a quieter acceptance, and not let past interfer with personal growth, to the point it accets the upcoming generation. You're a strong Lady my friend, and your writing projects such honest acceptance of fact, and your ability to relate it, in such wonderful poetic form. Hope you're well, hope it's warmer weather for you then it is here, for it makes me house bound, and I'm chomping at Spring, to once again spread my wings, it's so darn cold here, not enjoyable at all, and all of January so far has been just plain depressing. Keep writing Mell, your ability of proclaim is great appreciated by many, a definate plus to TPL since you joined us. Love and best wishes, Jo (still like your ability to use linguists, it's really something to behold.)	2004-01-13 08:38:15
The Card	Michael Bird	What a beautiful card, that encompasses so much of persons long dead, but who at the time of mortal existence felt that pain of losing the bright star that shone in their lives. Wonderfully written description of the loveliest card, the incorporated rhyme, strikes a lyyrical spiritual rhythm, it's almost as if the finding of the card was a part of the written text intended for your life's blood. Your rhyme isn't sappy, it application allows the read to feel the love the pain, the committment, once a situition as finding the card becomes a part of the writer, and the whole lyrical piece is projected with a very quiet, respectful rememberance. This poem Michael speaks a lot of the writers spritual, and emotional makeup, as such it's a highly remarkable poem that strikes at the emotional cord, no matter the time frame, families loved, and pained at so grevious a loss. lucky you found the card, to preserve the memory of people long gone. The irony uis that even today these situition envole, and regardless of the time frame, we are all emotional beings. Your entry is wonderful, straight foreward, honest and full of spiritual emotions. I just lost my last Aunt, she passed away two days ago, and had her final funeral Mass and burial today, so the poem has affected my emotional makeup in a way that causes the eyes to stink with tears that come voluntarily, very emotional, but wonderful tribute you shared here. Absolutely wonderful..Best regards always, Jo Morgan	2004-01-12 18:02:30
Her Looking Glass	marilyn terwilleger	Hi Marilyn, you really affected me emotionally when I read this poem, for quite truthfully in wonderful poetic form, you sucessfully describe the despair that becomes part of the counternance when someone loses a soulmate, at first adjustment and acceptance of the inevtible form, and give a purpose to the survival, but your right eventually that looking glass displays something that only one who has lost that most soulmate connection, broken, eventually the breakage of the relationship through death, for those so emotionally tied to a life partner lost, part of the spirit that comprised an individal is effected, it shouws in the metaphoric mirror, which always tells the eventual truth. Painful to read, and identify with, but also the reality of the scenario are wonderfully described, bring out the emotional aspects of the long term loss, it drains, and it pains, and the lonliness is only a shared experience for those that would deeply identify with your lyrics, so for me it screams the truth, brings forth that visial countenance that is apparent to the spouse that has to live their life alone, in a way one feels abandoned, of the reality of the death is there, the pain however, the lonliness is really only know by those that shared actual knowledge. So for me the poem is the truth, with the living, breathing, seeing aspect of our persona reflected through the looking glass. Again very concise, written by someone who really knows, as such a finished, complete thought that has emotion and feeling. Very lonesome indeed, we may go on, but it's always on a different plane, level of understanding, the poems cover it all brilliantly. Always best regards, Love Jo	2004-01-12 07:24:16
The Stoop	Mell W. Morris	Hellsn Bells Mell, Some of this brilliant color would warm the cocklers of this chilled heart. Your lurical qualities are not surpassed by any pOET IN tpl'S fAMILY OF POETS. qUITE SERIOUSLY I READ THIS SUBMISSION FOR DAYS NOW, AND WITH ONE DAY LEFT DECIDED THAT i JUST HAVE TO COME UP WITH THE ENERGY AND AT LEAST LET YOU KNOW, YOUR SKILLS BECOME MORE BEAUTIFUL WITH EACH SUBMISSION, AND THIS POEM IS NOT LACKING ANY OF THE QUALITIES I ALWAYS COMMEND YOU ON EACH MONTH. Slippin in and out of case priority I feel I have to bid adieu for now, before I wanr unsuccessful here. Like polished gem stones that capture the radiance and soft allure of the sun, very brilliant in mine eyes. I'm alright, just super tired all the time, the old ticker isn't pumping enough oxygen to feed this staved, and aging fragments of a body once what it no longer is. Good luck, I'll always toss the die in your favor, hands down, even on your most mundane day, of which this isn't one. Love, Jo	2004-01-07 13:48:22
Visions of Yesterday	Claire H. Currier	To me wonderful metaphor relating to emotional sensation, along with the lake, and crystal diamonds. Forty years gone, but not the memory, of the enraptured dreams of a Lady, who is withdrawing into her individual inner porch. No young person quite knows yet of all these sensations, for they drift on the outside, actually thinking there is a lot of time left, when life has been experienced, it is the glorious memories that sustain, as we wait. I really think in many ways we recede to the past to the fulfillment of a brilliant foundation, then dreams are always as real as you relate with regards to your Mom at 92. Lovely Claire, and a beautiful sembelance of sensation is caught in your lyrics. Yes, I think I understand, even 28 years younger, for it is the clarity of the memories that caotuture the essence of us, and who better to understand then a daughter who loves freely, and gives of herhelf to see her Mother remains safe. Maybe both of you look out from that porch, your inner sanctum, and remember. Lovely Claire, it comes together so nicely you convey a lot of personal sensation relating to your Mom's memories, betcha there are smells that flood her senses in conjunction with the memories, but only she really knows. Lovely, would I pray my daugher remembers me thus, then my worth as a woman, Mother, wife, waiting to rejoin is articulated as well as your poem. God Bless yourMom, and you Claire, only when someone truly loves can they sacrifice. Happy New Year, and may each day be a peacful memories for your Mom...Love, Jo Morgan	2003-12-30 14:46:35
Christmas in Texas	Mell W. Morris	Greetings from Texas are as cute as they can be, expect to see the musical score planted under my tree, now maybe the heat, and misatoe grow wild that's sure, what diff I say we all in the score, y'all are funny to honor Him so, and a big smile must have crossed his lips tis so. Hawaii, California, where Palm trees sway, were warm and difficult that first Christmas Day, when being raised in snow, and frigid cold, the sounds of Carolers still ring in this ole soul, so no diff you see, we're are from the same Family Tree. Thanks Mell, you hit my funny bone, it's cute, but I didn't the undertone of how Christmas is for Christ, so once again with a quick ditty you entertain, and make each individual feel special. A Bless and comfortable Christmas Friend girl, please keep me posted about developments I think of you always. A companion in caring Mell, who enjoys the communication with my Texas friend, drawl and all...Heh Heh, you mase my night, feel a hundred percent better, of course I'm sitting down, the test comes when standing upright and trying to walk any distance at all. It's been five weeks with the shoulder, and each day it gets easier and easier, and the pain and discomfort is managable. Don't worry I'm fine. I was tickled yesterday Debbie Spicer sent me a card that she made and included the most recent picture of herself, after her stomach by-pass, I was seeing one vert attactive, and slim 50? year old, that alone made my Christmas spirit scvore. Unbelievable I'm so proud of her, she's fought her deoms and the sunlight is flooding her with a splender of brightness. Just felt I had to tell someone, but my Gosh what a difference. Now my Friend, keep me posted, I'm solidly in your corner, and if there is anything I can do please let me know, I'dgladly come to Texas to get away from this cold temp, and if it snows, well initially it's beautiful until the frist car tire hits it, or a wayward Dawg, happens to think it's his potty room, ha ha. Get well, PLEASE. Love Ya, Jo	2003-12-21 21:38:00
Establishing Vocabulary	Mell W. Morris	Each new submission raises the level of the reader to new levels of awareness, because each time you take us into the deeper well of concious thought, and if anyone has studied the cration of man, and how he developed his lexicon within the properities of the time frame he (she) existed in their time frame. Ideally you capture in the most exquiste linguists, that read like the rhythm of a musical score, and ask us to join you in a height of awareness, that ordinarly we just take for granted. never questioning the why, the when, the how come, yet each time your time frame of laying out scenarios is so accurate (An Aurt History major, with a minor in Humanaties), sets the stage for me with regard to how well you articulate. No doubt you are the truest most pure, mind provoking poet on this site, for you create Masterpieces, for me always a pleasure. You know of course I've been sidelined, but I've read, and reread your score, and I've worked diligently to a point where I became determined that I would, before the month ended, rise up about mere physical obstacles, and domy best to respond to your submissions, and that FriendGirl is all I'm trying to accomplish. Absolutely enthralling, and a pleasure as usual, youalways make my day, my week, my month and you have suceed brilliantly once again. There is one thought I have, your choice of Titles, it seems to fall short the masterpiece you create with your linguistic, musical ability. I read you simply your name is enough to entice me, but I wonder if you applied that same ability to some of your titles if that wouldn't create a broarder color swipe, as your pen does with your descriptive. I go out on a limb here, for ordinarly I don't like negetive suggustions, mostly never with you, but I couldn't help but wonder, why you are so cautious with your choice (knowing your linguistic ability), you wouldn't lose any your readership you know, and it's somewhat like coming ouide that box of comfort you have developed with your musically and wonderfully stated poem. Love, and The Merriest Christmas eer, like the Dove of peace, spread your wings and become the most absolute, daring, and exciting writer that you demonstrate with your poems, as you robably did with your book writing, you're tready you know. Love always, Jo	2003-12-20 19:34:43
Haiku	Drenda D. Cooper	Very nice, reflective, and the truth emeshed in the proper count, the cadence is great, but most of all the way you present the mirror reflecting, and repeating what happens in time. Really concerning all of life's heartbeats. My favorite saysing is we're just a shadow in time, so I found this haiku excellent. Wish I could type more, but it's very difficult at this time, just to comment and say you have the complete thought here, especially like the use of the morror which records All in time. Lovely and very enjoyable Drenda. Love and best wishes, Jo Mo	2003-12-02 21:34:10
Tsa-ga-gla-tal	Joanne M Uppendahl	Hi Joanne, Limited ability with typing, but I wanted to comment at lease. I love t he Indian flavor of the speech encased in your words. My mind draw a sembelance to how the November Moon does keep watch as most of the animals that hibrinate do exactly as stated in the poem. I see trees bared of leaves, and a stillness that seems to rumbled just under the surface, facing this moon, brilliant in it's light, does keep watch. It5's a drastic change from the liveliness of all animal and fauna activity, taking a break, to sleep and wait it out. Somewhat like I'm doing myself right now. But I had to comment, this a close proximity to a poem you posted earlier with the same Indian flavor which I enjoyed as well. Have to run, the arm is hurting badly, sorry this is so short....Love Jo	2003-12-02 16:21:21
The Other Side	Mell W. Morris	Dearest Mell, Your dreams are wonderful, the romantic nature of the thrust of this poem show you to be a true romantic. I too, love the older wooden bridges, the age growth of vines, that caress it's foundation mesmerize and draw one to wonder who were the men who built this span, where each board shimmies when rolled over. The quality of recollection is marvelously encased in the great use of descriptives, as the flow is sooth, and lends to the romantic, of a time that was, that won't be again, likethe enduring sturdiness of these bridges (and there are many in evidence right in my area if one leaes the main road to traverse the back roads). Love it of course, you outdoyourself in the craftniess of writing poetry, but you mainatain the wonderful vocabulary. There isn't anything I can suggest, just read and enjoy and onece again provide a limted comment. (this month has been very difficult to critique, shoulder aches, pain pills I dislike so I go without and take tylenol instead, narcotic give me bananas, and make me break out in hives, so bettwer without). Did want to comment and tell you how enjoyable the subject is, and your proclaimination and project is perfect, and once again a most highly enjoyable read. Love always Friend.Girl, Jo	2003-11-30 08:12:10
Missing	marilyn terwilleger	Hi Marlyn, Really like how you incorporated the rhyme, it all reads so smoothly. Yes, missed all the time, no particular day or circumstance, miss one the smallest words can can speak columns.. Your certainly touched my heart, made me hold my breath as I easily identified with the movement this poem created, miss him, yes, yes, yes. Could use the soft stroking hand over my shoulder and arms, just that hug that let me know he was there. The Holidays are always difficult, my companion of inner secretas, not even spoken but felt,this poem more then asaquately speaks for me. Wish I could type more, but ity's like hot pokers being shoved into the should and arm to try and continue. This widow thanks you for saying how much, every minute of our existence was based on our foundation, and that is gone, and at times can really make a person pretty morose, and sad, it would be a much happier existence with him here. Wonderful soft spoken, truthly and simply stated. Have the Happiwat Thanksgiving ever, sourround yourself if glorious memories and you will feel his arms arounf you.....Love, Jo Morgan	2003-11-26 16:57:28
Be Silent	Debbie Spicer	WONDERFUL, PEACE REIGNS SUPREME, what once was is no longer.Realse of controlling mrmories that no longer haunt, wonderful to hear this new life's philsophy. Your words flow, as slight wind blows, those rays of suneshinshine radiiant through this poem. The peace has come to you finally, and I can tell throughout this wonderful [poem that all these sesations atre heartfelt. Wonderful flow, ib a beautifully crafted piece of yourself. Peace finally allowing you the respite from all the personal hurty, it"s such a relief for me to share in with yoy. Your ray of sunlight is finally afornuing your too kind heart and soul. Sorry this is short but just this much has taken me an hour to type left handed, which I am not. Love the quietness and peace that sine through your words. Had to comment no matter what the poem is such a great start to the new Debbie, Love Jo	2003-11-18 16:54:43
japanese verse 30 (Vulture)	Erzahl Leo M. Espino	Hi Erzahl, well this is an interesting haiku, the majority use of the letter "v' is strong, you choose such strong descriptive words to tantalize the reader, ending in villian, vandalizing, cadaver, with only one conjunctive word "in", wow, amazing. As I sit here typing this, seeing the haiku in front of me you stayed so well withing the framework of expectation. Yo me each descriptive in conjunction with the sequence creates a strong visual image, without even you explaining the intent in the title, there is any other creature that would meet these descriptives other then a vulture. So was it expressive enough to paint a picture in words, can't get over the usage of just "v's", so unique, and it's amazing you can create these haiku. Congratulations on another better then even constructed haiku. You did it again....Best always, Jo Morgan	2003-11-10 12:11:32
Watermarks	Mell W. Morris	Hi Friend/Girl, Hmmm interesting, don't know what or who the challenge is, or what it may consist of. Had to go to reference to find the orgin of the work palimpset, in your submission I take it as a summination of how glories the tactile senses are atuned to feeling finely embossed, and engraved parchments, which can cover a wide specture of possibilities, if in going though a genealogical serch of past records retained in that office overlooking the river, it is the connector between all the past, and his present endevors, mostly in relationship to family? I find the poem well written (as usual), at it spurred the brain into looking for the logic, but I'm afraid this time it's alluded me. I'm breaking a promise I made to myself that I wouldn't comment on any poems this month, and just watch the flow of the site, is there full diversity of thinking what are the best of the month, or is the voting based on the name of the poet, just a interesting question I have, the poems I voted for, rated hight in the top five, but not in the order I would have choosen. I guess it's just a way of clarification for me, noone who placed this month disappointed me, but is there there parity in the vote, or do a few swing so much weight they negate anyone elses vote. Just maybe the dispersing of voting power for individuals is titled, and we need to come up with a better voting sequence. Yep, a little disenchanted with the sytem, but it's a question that has been raised for many months. Anyway enough politics, and back to you poem, who is the challenge with, and what does it consist of, mind telling me? Love always, Jo	2003-11-10 08:29:53
Colors of Aah!	Donna L. Dean	Love the analogy of the pink pearl in a bottle of olive oil, not a quick process, for the oil is tick, so the analogy of the sun setting fits so well. Plus love the glistening of the oil as the beautiful of a pink peal settles. Nice and restful to imagine. Yes Butterflies, mesmerize us all, all your descriptives are the same insect with the minute differences one would ponder about, wondering where they go, are they ultimately joined, as they flitter in the known flight of these beactiful animals, that amaze and once again cause a peaceful countance. Their jack o latern coloros along with the beautiful fall leaves as described are soothing, the whole poem is soothing, for it speaks of love doesn't it. Dreaming of your dark brown irises summs up so well the peace in a relationship, as does the whole poems leading to this wonderful ending two lines. Love makes the world go round, and this poem leads us all to the great sensations and anticipation. Bed of colorful fall leaves, another great analogy to the dreaming process, wishes for that special love. Right or wrong Donna, I'm in a mushy mood, fully intune with all your wonderful descriptives. Just wish I had this to look foreward to, it's very loving, warm and soothing. Best luck I love the poem, or I wouldn't have responded to it. Best always, sorry I'm so late with this review......Jo Morgan	2003-11-05 16:00:11
japanese verse 29 (Breeze)	Erzahl Leo M. Espino	Oh Erzahl, in this haiku you catch the fanciful pleasure of a wonderful sensation, the feeling sensation is completely captured in your selection and place of very descritive words, that literally make the leaves dance on the trees, the breeze rippling the body sensation not only of the wind tickling the trees (which by the way is so charming a turn of phrasing). With the haiki you bring out not only the visual images, but you personalize the trees, the leaves, the wind. It has to be the brightest, lightest and most honestly descriptive where you capture not only the format, but the presensation is excellent, leaving the reader to sit and imagine all those times of laying in the grass, and musing about these eartly wondoners, wondering is the trees, the leave the breeze feel, you just answered my questions with this wonder. Throughly enjoyable. On this rough day of being physically out of balance, you managed to nicely to capture a spirit of longing, for the brightness of those days past. You just encapsulated all my memories with this gem. It's absolutely wonderful, and you deserve Kudos on this one, you really do. My best regards, and I love it, I truly do....Jo Morgan	2003-11-03 14:02:46
A Thousand Vacant Bodies	Eddie S. Iris	Hello Eddie, Welcome aboard, sure glad Rick talked to you about RhePoeticLink, and that you've joined us. As I read the poem I was struck how vital and true your title speaks, for you have managed to encapsulate the whole scenario of societies woes. We sit back and don't take action, are we unaware of the slaughter to groups, and suicide of individuals? You poem is strongly worded, but it is very potent, and your linguist bent is current that anyone reading your intent would have to be effected by the projection. Thousand vacant bodies, literally piling up, and continuing to mass like sticks of discarged corded word, never to serve a useful purpose, because weaponary, and thrust in todays society is more violent in that it takes in cultures with a complete disregard for life, groups, and creates despair in individuals. The poem is simply worded, in a running format that makes it easy for the reader to follow, but more so then the stle or linguists, is the intent you protray, for you encapsulate the ills of humankind, no regard for human life. I like the poem, it causes reflection and an admiration that a writer could compose so powerful a thrust. So it's a great start here, and I hope you continue on. You couldn't have a better mentor the Rick, he's becoming one heralded writer here, all of us look foreward to his submissions, I think because he shows us ourselves, and cites circumstances that are such human traits, that he makes us aware, as this poem from you does also. Wonderful start Eddie, it's all a learning process, and I've found I've learned more about writing and understanding poetry from the learned membership here on TPL. Good luck and write more, really enjoyed the poem. Best regards, Jo Morgan	2003-10-31 17:41:52
Sweet, Sweet Music (II)	Mell W. Morris	You know Mell music does sooth the savage breast, and maybe since the inception of man reacted to the rawness of the cosmos, music lovers were born, to feel the beat and sway to the rhythm, as a child reacts to the sound of a Mother's Luttaby, yes, music lovers sense the rawness sensation in their cells, the spirt is infected, and thus music has transpired from dancing to a drum beat around fire, to the mostery's playing with Gregorian chants, to the coming out and interpertation of all the wonder artists you cite from Ella, to Van Kilburn, and his feats at so young a age, to show the way with his wonderful talented. What I loved was the incorporation of the complete mixture you captued by naming the beats, jazz, raz ma taz, right down the line, to the mellowness of music that quiets the soul. Music is something my body and spirit has always swayed to, that inborne capturing that can't be dinied. Will dance to all forms and styles for it like the call of long ago, to the quiet chants, the liveleness of jazz, to all the styles mentioned. Yes music is cosmosic, and can't be denied. When things seem to pile up and try to dimish the spirit, music is the only medicine that cures. Another excellent presentation, with the lyrics, that move deftly to include all the beats that capture us, and why not we are a part of the cosmos, some get trapped by never letting loose, your poem is so apt, and so well constructed it is a song in its own right. You're a mavel, and never cease to amaze me with your writing talens, not just words, but movement and sensation that climbs the ladder of emotions. There is anything I would even remotely suggest, it's together, and very lyrical with a cadence that only Mell can construct, for no-talents like myself to complete enjoy. I will anser your we-mail, right now I'm fighting edema, which is difficult to contend with, gained over 40 pounds of body weight due to the edema, so the brain is really fighting to finish these comments, and hope I was articulate enough, but the month is running out, and I did want to comment. A fan here, always, Love Jo	2003-10-30 10:50:04
From Night to Morning	marilyn terwilleger	Hi Marilyn, Nice thought, comfort in the quiet night, turning to the dawn of a new day. For me thought a touch of Fantasia, lovely descriptives of the glory of a stars path (in essence a poem, but it is a wonderful way of describing romantically exactly what happen. The web, light gossmer, the descriptive in beautiful convayance of what all of us feel as we awaken to a new day. I often see pictures that illiminate the senses, and this poem does that for me. At first when I saw the title I wondered how you would artistically bring out the components of from night to morning, so many thoughts flowed through this mind, but I really like the picture you crafted so well. It grabbed my senses, actually you speak of the time of day that has always been pure gossmer to me, that quiet time of night, the feeling I always feel being insulated from the transpas of what happens during daylight, ever those first glows of morning have always offered me personally, that very quet comfort of times, to be myself, to think my thoughts ( stay up most night because I can't sleep, so I really identify with your poem. To me very comforting, very beautiful, with a quet charm, yet the cosmos is in full swings being me full cycle to deal with the normal reality of dealing in this society. I think I prefer this trip to the cosmos...wonderfully restful for me. Hope you're well, your writing is becoming so special you know, you've been a excellent student of the site, and have grown in leaps and bounds. Glad I'm hear to at least be able to comment, your poems, like Mell's, Joanne, Steven and just some example of the pinnicales of writing that attract a great readersip. Very, very nice Marilyn, glad you're around to artistically say what I sense and feel. Best always, Love, Jo	2003-10-24 07:10:28
Dewdrop	Donna L. Dean	Hi Donna, Love it, a single dew drop, compelled to resist becoming just another dew drop that falls into the pool of oblivion. Some what a perfect analogy for we humans, don't you think, holding on, trying to retain our individuality, knowing if we get lost among the masses, to become just another lost, yes as I read these stark words concerning your dew drop I couldn't help but make the comparison. I've sat and watched the antics of single rain drops, or any moisture that beads and manages to remain an individual, know eventually that the inevitable would happen, the melting pot, from a dew drop to a [pool, to a river, to begin the journey over. Actually the poem captures nicely for me all the cosmic environemental thrust and pull, something I think that human beings fight so hard for invididuality. This short, poem, written with a lot of sensation leaves the reader to ponder, wonder, and reflect on the great possibilities. Neat submission, written simply enough for all to identify with the scenario, you did a nice job with this presentation, and I enjoy the read, nice job...Good Luck, Jo Morgan	2003-10-22 22:47:54
Night Dreams	Mary E. Gustas	Oh Mary, you tease with this..Alarm rings...isn't that always the way when a beautiful dream assails our subconcious, isn't that a fitting conclision for such a passinate, and artistically rendered romantic poem. This is as hot as all the burning tapers, the beautifully laid out romantic hidway, bringing lovely sensation, all set so great in this what I shall refer to as a tease, but you did did it, you grabbed this reader, and had me all warmed up for an most alluring conclusion, then the rug slipped from under my feet, The alarm rang, all I can say is oh yes, how many lovely dreams have been ruinied by the alarm. Gtreat job, really cute you know, you reved up the engine, and failed to leave the start, but just spun your tires, and left me with soot and grime all over my face, ha ha. Love it. Best regards, excellent writing maybe we need a complete romantic love poem from you with complete finish, for if all the stanze, emotion and sensation that you used in what I call brilliant form, presentation, and projection are an indication of your ability to write a love poem are in strong evidence. try it, no alarm clocks though, just the complete romantic ability you've proven you have. Best regards, Jo Morgan, no suggestions from me I can't write romance like that I can only read it, and feel all the sensations.....what a closing.	2003-10-22 19:48:30
Talking To The Trees	Mell W. Morris	Hi Friend/Girl, well welcome back, I hope the dizzy, foggy bumbling period has diminished and you are coming back full time. I feel as one of those leaves that have fallen this Autumn, alone and diminished without the my sisterly poets who stimulate the mind, and tickle the life cells of bondinding, not wasted to blow and disappear with the story each can tell. Love the gist, and the lyrical quality of this poem, and I know it was written by a wordsmith of the first degree, now I feel together again, the connection with one of my fellow leaves. Let me tell you a little story instead of giving you a real critique. On Saturday last, my two youngest Granddaughters came for a visit of five days, so they along with their older Sister Jen (who is in my custody), decided that I should jump on my Little Cherry red Scooter, and drive up to my old homestead (where I was raised), it lies along the bank of a Fresh water pond, a little white house that holds tremoundous memories. During the One and a hald mile walk the children enjoyed the Fall foliage (as did I0, and we walked up this hill, and leaves had gathered along along the side walk, in a dept of beautiful color, the dry, crackling leaves talked to us as we traversed up the hill, well we got to the house, admiring all the Maple, White Birthch, and pine trees, took in the black cool Autumn waves of the fresh water, all agreeing that it wasn't a time for swimming, well we started back, doubling our the route we had taken. This time we got to the hill and the girls begain duplicating the antics of playing in the leaves. At the point I said arn't the leaves beautiful, but did you girls notice there are hidden gems among the leaves. Of course they looked dubious, and I ponted to a green orb lying among the leave. The younges 6 year old Angelique picked it up, and instantly threw it from her hand. I asked why? and she said it has sharp point on it, and it hurts my hands. Well I picked it up and they gathered around me, using my thumb nails I split the orb open, and there rested the most beautiful brown glisting nut. I took it complete out, and gave it to them to feel, all three commented on how beautiful it was, but it arrived in a horrible shell. The brown glisted in the sun, the finish was as if 500 years of fine sand at a beach had made it as smooth as glass. Then I said there are other gems to be found hiding among the fallen leaves. Well the treasure hut was on, they found dozens and dozens of these gem. Then I told them this is a creation of God, that each year at this time his bounty is to be found. Now truly they were beautiful Horse chesnuts, a simple lesson so it would seem. As children though, no TV no video games, we the children created our own entertainment. So a simple lesson maybe, but I believe one each girl will recount later in life, and Grandmom did what Grandmoms should do teach. So the validity of your poem each stanze each, each declaration is so true, so factual so brilliant in in projection, for each leave has a history, and we should be aware that life begins, has a middle, and ending, just as your poem does. Done like like extradionary well written, linguist poem. That's my styory and I'm sticking to it, learn about all forms, seeing that leaves, each of them are like pages, each tells it's own story, just like the Horse chesnuts. Terrific, I like, the writng once again is fab, and I'm glad you're back, I've missed you, knew you were ill and didn't want to bother you, the fact you're writing agin is so welsome to me. Be well, I think of you always, Love, Jo	2003-10-20 23:40:58
In Search Of The God Particle	Drenda D. Cooper	Hi Drenda, Admirable that you are delving into physics. My mind though has always lived out the box, the scientific community may use equasions, may think in terms of matter, however my thought is, God is everywhere, he and only he has created all of the Universe. Simple maybe, I don't need pictures as proof, I don't need scientistic, or the dogma of established relegion to sell God to me, to prove anythibng. Belief is my value, also my philosophy that I can't take anyone there with me, they have to go there themselves, thus the disenchantment and uphappiness the killing, and all that takes place, God created, God can take away, no scientific theory will ever make or break belief, the individual is the only one that can determine the belief. No harsh judgement here, for everyone is allowed the space, inside the box or outside the box to live with their belief. I enjoyed your presentation, your dialogue is outstanding, your points strong rendered. A great poem, written in the best of intellect, as such I respect the poem for it's projection, and admire the ability of the poet to be as concise about a terory as is presented here. Nice writing, it certainly can make one think reflectively, and get to the root and core of their belief. I've always tested the confines of any box, and a bunch of scientific minds trying to prove God is folly, a waste of time, for he created all in the universe, including the minds of noted scientists trying to prove this this or another. Of course you understand my whole life my closest partner has been God, and I don't need proof, for I believe. Deep, deep poem, undoubtly you'll be many different takes on it, mine may be a simplist approach, but I see no complexity when it comes to my person belief..............that's all. My take and my take alone. Heck of an intellectual poem, great to read, and wonderfully written, great syntax, flow, and all apparent poetic devices.........just a great job. Besy of continue luck...........Jo Morgan	2003-10-20 19:08:49
Forever Daddy	Jordan Brendez Bandojo	Hi Jordan, If this tribute is the forumla that your adult life is (will) be base on, I guarantee you will forever be strong, with resolve, the principle and discipline, given in paternal love (Father to son), he endowed you with understanding (that guarantees tolorance), the dignity and heroism, are two high water marks for any lad to grow to. nobility and greatnes, not bosterious or fool hardy, but capable of making sound decisions, virtue is mine said the Lord, and you finishing off with "You do love me, and I love you too. Foverer Long, beautiful, no son could ask better lessons in life, and he is the Daddy, Love the inflection, Daddy denotes all the memories of the times these life lessons were learned, beautiful tribute, and I really can't take exception to any of your phrasing, but from a grammer point of view, wouldn't Now I've grown up", be more appropriate phrasing at the 6th stanza, that particular wording is what cause me to pause as I read. All in all beautiful, and you are one fortunate son, and you're Dad one heck of a wise man to teach you all these life lessons, to allow you to bloom into a fine man. Beautiful, and it made me feel warm glows of rememberance for my Dad, as a girl he taught me many lessons, which I learned, and all have aided me in my 64 years of life, fond, and loving memories spoken with a patina of love from Son to Father.......Love your sentiment, may be so day we shall meet, and then maybe never, but I feel a closness to you, you seems to be a wonderful man, and loving son, and for me these exchanges are very meaningful...My Best always, Jo Morgan (JoMo)	2003-10-19 15:12:34
Kite	Jordan Brendez Bandojo	Very nice Jordan (Dan according to family right?), (this poem could also speak the poets heart to experience a heartbreak, a loss of a Girl friend who has choosen marriage with God, however special blessing shall follow all the days of your lives, for those that walk into our lives truly remain a part of our lives, in special ways, it takes a strong individual to see a love choose a different life, but to me as a Catholic I understand her need to serve the Lord. Nothing happens without a reason in our lives, some we may understand, others we may never understand, HE knows the reason, and the belief has to be Faith in him.) Bless you Jordan. your three lines allows for quite a mental image to this reader. I love the wind, especially when it is barly preceptible, however it ruffles the hair, and tingles the skin, and that the image I get from your pronouncment of this type of Zephyr, enough to lift. allowing for the kite in it bulky, yet swift decoration to stay aloft, one really would work and just launching the kite, yet I feel theplay (sensation) on the skin, that glorious feeling to soar. Doubhty dreamer dares to soar, going up against the odds though allows the dreamer to be enraptured by the flying colors. Wonderful format of haiku, the count is accurate by Japanese standard, the presentation is more Western though, so it's a flowing combination of all the sensation. Hold that kite string tightly, work at keeping it aloft, and all dreams can be fulfilled. I guess it depaends on the interpertation of each reader, and being a gut critique, the sensation allowed by the visualztion is wonderful to me. Good show poet, you write very, very well, and your critiques are outstanding....Love it!! Best wishes, Jo Morgan	2003-10-18 20:47:56
japanese verse 28 (Rose)	Erzahl Leo M. Espino	Hi Erzahl, First of all I love Roses, whenever they have been given to me, I think of my Mother long expired these many years, and a rush of sentiment engulfs me as I read this haiku. Love the color descriptive (Crimson as a wine", who can't picture, the glory in seeing this ultimate creation of God, the wine significant to daw the parrarel of color, then the second line "Filled in the glass of Season", for crimnson wine isn't drank by me, mostly because I'm a non drinker, except for those favorite occassions, so season is a very strong influence in the poem. Drunk by its beauty, is a strong closing line, that melds the whole flavor of the poem in total. So once again I find myself amazed, that this most difficult type of writing flows so easily from your pen, and it's always a pleasure to read you, and possibly surmise how you think and what gives this natural ability to write poems that I was first attracted to many, many years ago. It's wonderful, the frest, sparkling color and it's total effect on the readship. I know you are developing a following, and I gladly offer this humble offering of its total effect on making me reflective, thinking of all the occassions that Roses, their beauty to behold were offered to me, and the memories of all who offered them, right to seeing them on the bush and knowing the creators art work, to be drunk by all. Wonderful, my regards always, Jo Morgan	2003-10-18 18:27:09
Two Diamantes	Joanne M Uppendahl	As a Genie confined in a bottle, diamantes, like a diamond from the middle french you show in this brilliant poem the discipline of a stylistic approach, and as in haiku not an easy feat to command. My gut tells me all the now, adjectives and verbs are in accordance with the prescribed formula, but along with the style the writers skill leavel for effectiveness hasn't at all been hampered by the approach. My Lord the format is great, the emphasis of prescribed usage is quite apparent. Now not being a technical critiquer I can honestly say you don't miss the beat, and extend your usage in the best possible way to this vague uncertainty for this non-techinical reader. Admire the skill, the raw discipline it takes to write to a prescribed format, but the Old Joanne brilliant usages of descriptives carry the complete mood for the shaping of your diamond. What's not to line, and if you feel a need to revise I once again with my errors in typing will gladly offer my impressions, the craggy mountain descriptive really reminded me of the lost symbol of the Man in the mountain that used to be the pride of N.E. Time and God saw the need to change, yet those clouds you asptly describe to me go hand in hand with the mountain, but then I look at the raw beauty of our world and have always been moved, the poem has the same effect, excvept you revert to a stylist form, Good show, you make it very difficult for the readerrship to profess liking one submission over another, you really do. Get that spaghetti ready if ever I make it out to Oregon to see Debbie, I shall be persistent in my great need to visit Washington, which is a state I camped in one May, with frest, clear bubbling brook, and raibow trout, fond manories these long years passed...Love, Stay well, Jo	2003-10-16 23:04:36
After the Storm	Joanne M Uppendahl	Hi Joanne, The small quality of movement is more then apparent in your fine use of descriptives, as I alreay critiqued the other version, my thoughts don't waver in admiration. I know you are an artistic that is always ready to revise, and regardless of version, I'm still drawn to the movement, the brutal rainfall, slashing sideways, nothing escapes its wrath. You more then string words together, you create an ambiance of unbelieveable reality that allows the reader to see it the minds eye, the lashing out, the flowers bent in suppliation, the pot crashing to the deck. Yet the message is still clear as it applies to us mre mortals, we to shall be tested, and we shall also go on as Mrs. Spider does. Man has proven the sustained ability to overcome odds, we do it every day, I do like the parrarel, is Gods creations free of these ravages, no, are we as your topic used as a vechile any different, we survie the storm and go on. That was more then proven by the resolve of ancient one, and midevil times, the scourges that ravaged mankind, the survival the same for both, flora and fauna, as it is for man (woman). No the message is blilliantly illustrrated in this admiral crafting of poetic projection. Of course I may be biased, I like evrything you write, and as a gut critiquer you allow me to be empowered to comment freely, I like that a lot. Love and best wishes always, Joa	2003-10-16 16:24:39
Past	marilyn terwilleger	Hi Marilyn, I couldn't pass this poem up for to me it speaks the full essence of an emotional intensity that maybe time allows healing, but the mind doesn't forget. People telling me this to shall pass, just don't understand. There isn't anything that soothes the partner left behind, the memories to me are so vividly real, I feel the comfort and protection he offers me, and so no credibility in this to shall pass, for it truly never does. An Anniversary should be remembered, for it is a part of out cosmic glow, it sustains us when feeling low because of other raw circumstances of just living assail us. Yes, I remember the comfort not only of his arms, but latying against his chest, and the absolite wonderful feeling of being at home, yes they become memories, but time doesn't wipe our memories clean, Anniversaries and special occass always bring that nostalgic feeling back, and they become a comfort, although we still deal with being alone. Missed, wanted and throughly loved. Wonderful syntax, the thrust of your intent as written, carries the emotions, many of us share, and as such, just let me say you touched my heart with this rememberance, written extradionarly well. God Bless you and cherish those memories, they are golden, and they never pass. This poem is deep seated and emotionally apealling, and I enjoyed it, but my heart is in concert with you well spiken poem. God Bless those memories, and may they never pass, for they sistain me, allowing an inner glow I don';t and won't even try to explain, they are just there a part of my ceeilar makeup now. Best wishes, well written, once again allowing a glimpse into the emotions of the writer....Jo Morgan	2003-10-16 09:38:58
Role Model	Joanne M Uppendahl	Hi Joanne I would have appeared sooner, but my list of poems was chock full, and you my Dear were at the bottom of my list, but I finally made it here, and I welcome the opportunity to comment. First of all motion, the helter skelter of a storm lashing, in you great descriptive use and line structure you capture the intensity of the storm, then your intention leads in a parable for me, the message for this wild life, and wracking of plants comes across very strongly for me. Easily I can picture looking out a wondow that's be cascaded by the rain, power in wind drift, the intensityn causing not just a downward fall, but the intensity is highlighed strongly, with the whipping winds causing slant wise flow, not just rain but the power of Mother nature. The lesson, sometime we have to stand and face that wind (human element troubles), the revaging elemts comes across strongly, we;re test, plants, animals and insects (your spider), the proof of the pidding we just face the onslaught and go on, as Mrs. Spider does. Parable yes, wonderful direction of projection wonderful. It didn't miss Joanne another well written submission in poetic form that all should understand. Yes, we face our troubles and go on...love it of course. Love and Best wishes go your way, and I think of a plate of homemade spaghetti sauce that awaiting us, if ever we come your way, gladly I would take enjoyment in the repast, and have an opportunity to talk to you face to face, uno on uno...Love, Jo	2003-10-16 01:08:31
Drought	marilyn terwilleger	Wow Marilyn, how expressive can one be in the description of the drough. My mouth is parched just thinking and imbibing all your great descriptive use in this poem, that certainly conveys a drought, especially with the sun drying the earth, to grounds spliting awaiting that cap of snow to give life sustaining water. No my fiend you more then in usage of your couplets have brought this reader to the brink of full awareness, to your wonderful use of plant life, the colors, the sulliness of their withstanding the brutality of the sun ravaging, and scourching the earth, as mere mortal watch, incapable of stopping this beastly scene, that snow cap sounds wonderfully refreshing to this parched mouth mortal. Was the syntax, and formation of expression lost, no way Marilyn. Actually I'm so secretly pleased to see this artistic full of life and death, the throes of Mother Nature, in command, not mere mortals such as we. Wonderful skill you demonstrate here, fully engages the reader, and maybe even the lack of poetic ability on my part can possible respond and say, IMPRESSIVE!! Love and Best of luck Jo Mo	2003-10-15 21:50:52
For The Sake Of All Lovers Lost To This	Rick Barnes	Hi Rick, I don't make light of this beautiful effort of lovers, it and all it's sentiment really belong on some beautiful Valentine card to be shared by a mass of Universal readers, for it in it's wistful wishes say so well, about the well of longing that many experience. So please don't think my respose trite, but I would pay readily to share this sentiment with a special love. Once again you move my emotions, and for me the wishes are deeper, for in reading this beautiful poem creates a longing now lost for me in the death of my true love, but easily I could have shared this sentiment, and emotion this card creates for this reader. No the synthax for me is beautiful phrasing, that reads as smooth as glass, and the cadence is artifully done bring to the reader deep nostalgia, lovely once again, you write some beautiful moving poetry that never fails to amaze the broard strokes of life you manage to convey, and the closeness of a true love, wonderful once again. Best regards...Jo Morgan	2003-10-15 20:28:03
Clouds and Curtains	Mark D. Kilburn	Oh Mark, as I read this poem a eruption of though engulfs me. I understand the curtain (more substance) or cloud (more mystical), for you show definate thoughts of what most universal thoughts consist in all of us. Actually my preference would be the clouds, and I refuse the curtain, my omnipotent courgae is awakening each more, and waiting for those shafts of sunlight to warm the spirit, now sometimes there isn't that tangible proof each day, but it is in the spirit, my preference the clouds for they disipate with time, and new clouds form (thoughts and action, the purpose of life I think), and only I can accomplish that glow. Why do we fight, grit our teeth, go on when adversity strikes us, simple, refusal to accept in our mind (spirit) that tangible fact, that everything comes to an end, and if and when that final curtain falls, I pray Ive suceeded in my purpose of life, and the fact I always see the life sustaining sun regardless of the aging, ill, or disability, there is always purpose in our lives all we have to do is recognize it, see my preference for clouds, airy and possible disipation, with new brilliant forms each time, the curtain seems so final, so I don't dwell on it, and for sure getting out of bed, now is the reluctance to leave the warmth and comfort to face each day, well worth the effort though, going on is the preference regardless of drawbacks. Love the thoughts the poem consists of, any of us may apply it to self, the clarity is there, the intent maintained, and wellspoken, neat thought process brought in this poem, I really enjoyed the encounter with your latest submission, good going, as usual. My best wishes, plugging ion, a little harder now, but plugging on.....Jo Morgan	2003-10-15 07:01:35
Hymn to Autumn	Rachel F. Spinoza	Hi Rachel, I had already seen the universal implications in this poem, your wonderful rhythm, and use of smilies (metaphors), but mostly the appeal in the the soft quality of the beauty of the season on Autumn, and the harshness and differences of the winter vissta's that are to come. Fall (Autumn) is the time of year I was born, so I've always felt that festoons quilt and elderdown comfort, that this poem so warmly reminds me of great sensations. As usual you write with a perfessional air, wonderful aluring poem for me. Good show as ual, great syntax, rhythm, and quiet, soothing quality. Good Luck, very deserving, as in another you posted that I'll critique, what a learning curve of coming to a religious understanding of a Jewish Holiday.....Best, Jo Morgan	2003-10-14 17:25:10
japanese verse 26 (Camel)	Erzahl Leo M. Espino	Oh this holds many possibilities to equate not only to the Camel, but to the time and place we are dealing with right now, The Middle East, for you tweeked me into a great deal of reflection. First of all the haiku is applied spotlessly, each of us I believe will either instantly understand, ot quite possible question where? Well to me the Middle East, and the fact the Camel has been their workhorse, probably since we all read of the Three Kings. I take you defination in you using the singular Camel, that you speak of the one humpted version of this useful beast of burden, although we know there is a two humpted version. Listen Erzahl, it speks very fluently, to an actual gentle companion many use all these past enons, you know the analogy drawn beween "Carrying the Hills is so strongly an identification, of course anywhere there are dunes of sand one can see the camel and the hills, that's a great turn of phrasing. This poem has great appeal, it's so vivid q draw in ones mind that this applies to desert like environoments, you use gentle traveler in you second line, and instantly one sees a camel with companion, or even alone wild in its habitat, there isn't anything I would suggest in the way of its carrying the intent, and it's marvelous that so few descriptive well strung words makes me feel peaceful. Yet they spit on ocassion, but look these gentle travels have served man so well. Great read, very enjoyable. So glad I could get to the poem before the month ended, however I do read and note every poem, and those I do want to critique I do, and yours are always fun to critique on. Goog Luck this month...Best regards, Jo Morgan	2003-10-01 22:42:51
When Trees in Fall Begin to Spill Their Colors	Joanne M Uppendahl	Hey Joanne, was beginning to think I would never reach this poem to comment on. Talk about capturing the essence of Fall, as I read about all our feathered friends in struck me, this is the season we all become away up here of Wild Turkeys, don't they have any in Washington. It's is neat to see them, for the hens come in flocks with their young right there, and if fortunate we may even get to see the very elusive males. Just wondered, they are really something to sit quietly and watch, sumising just what their habitat turns to onece the leaves comepletely changed, and those wonderfully colored leaves no longer crackle beneath their feet, this is also the time of the year one is bond to see all the Fox, proud, defiant, doing their things like humans don't truly exist for them, crossing roads with utter defiance for cars, they stop and stare at you, almost offered the challenge to dare you to hit them, there is humor in the wild, all one has to have is an open minds to see all the natural wild life like that exists, our town and towns around have been designated by Federal law to maintain the area is the most pristine Farm lands they always have been, and that's one Federal law I feel someone had a great deal of hindsight, and we are still a fortunate generation, to experience a somewhat maintain safe lands. Anyway I go off here once again, oh I have such memories and experiences to pull from, I've always felt fortunate that a measure of old time feeling remains here in our protected Farm Lands area. Can't say about the rest of Mass. when you get close to Boston and all the Metroplitian areas it's obvious it's been caught in the whildpool of Materialism, but here, ah the woods are still the woods, I can still walk through them, and caughth that feeling of how innocent, and simple it was, a life form I would prefer. Anyways, great, complete couplets, blending so well to maintain your intent, another very enjoyable and well written submission. Sorry I'm so late with this, but I know I'll reach the end of the month. Hope you are well sitting in breath taking relaxing environoment you so aptly described. Always a pleasure to read you, and comment. Hope all is well Being a Fall Baby this has always been my favorite time of the year, and you certaintain caught all the essence of the season. Pretty soon all the leaves will have fallen, but God is gracious they don't all fall at once, some sooner, some later. Enjoy, relax, and please keep submittine.....Love, Jo	2003-10-01 19:27:50
Sole Mates	Rick Barnes	Hi Rick, I know like a bad pain bothering you I'm back. Having a somewhat rough time with physical conditions, I havn't been able to reach this poem before now, but here I am now. Listing tell this with the inclusion how you and your boots, skuffed and worn, havn't left many footprints (in the sand so to speak), on this well traveled and experienced road, the comforfort of those boots, and the stories they could tell which you have done so nicely here. It's rhythm is right now, and I love the aspect of those well worn boots, the story you tell here, is joyful to read, and imagine the sights the sounds, the people the places, wonderfully done, with a great deal of humor included, a wonderful legend in its own right. I can't suggest one darn thing but just accept it, the intent maintained, holding the readers attention, becautiful turns in phrasing and well appled. Maybe I can identify easily with how you equate yourself to the boots, and vice versa. So nothing I can suggest, other then to say this is original, great writing, by what we've come to expect, a truly seasoned writer who deserves accolodes...you got it all, included it all, and I know how comfortable those boots feel, even if they are symbolic....great read once again...Best always, Jo Morgan	2003-10-01 18:29:09
Straight At It	Rick Barnes	Great Rick, this is a philosophy I have lived my life by, it's results in a honorable approack, of tolorance for others, with the diversity of us as people all we can use is this path of fate, realizing the diversity that some times makes the difference in approach, the brains reality is the choices that we live by in a comfortable mindset, knowing that we have never done anything overt to hurt of take adavantage of other, respect for all living breathing beings, with a viewpoint of the beauty that one can see, iff they tahey take the time to see, a great philosophy, it hasn't even gotten me in jeopardy, at 64 the peace and tranquility I experience each day, is proff positive, decisions made along the way are what, oh we may make mistakes, and they are well intented as long as we remember the lesson, and never make those mistakes again, regardless of what arena we are in at whatever point we are in our lives, and it's never to late to go straight at purpose, never selfish, always aware of implication on others. Your dialogue is straight foreward, carries the intent, and you have managed beautifully to capture the internal rhyme, lending to great rhythm in the read. Love it when you post, I can'tuhelp but feel a matual bonding, for everything you've submitted makes one introspective...Great job...Best regards Jo Morgan	2003-10-01 18:04:05
Leaping Lizard	marilyn terwilleger	Hi Marilyn, this is an interesting haiku, usually I don't tinker with anothers effort, but as I read it struck me that the word psychotic does really offer a sensation of what you intendted to be the descriptive for frenzy, too medicinal an application I think, another more active descriptive bringing life to the sensation would probably work better, I know you're aware of count because of the style you choose to write this, I think a world application furious frenzy, end in the same..etc..etc. Just that one work from me, but honestly I really laughed when I read there, too often we live at a maddening pace, expecting it to end somewhere other then when we started. How many times has this lesson be seem all good intentions sometime don't come to fruition, and indeed land right where we started, this is about a lizzard, and yes they do leap, people don't realize just how much they do. In Hawaii I'd look up and see one on the ceiling, and next thing I knew that lizzards leaped down and landed on me, ha ha. Good version Marilyn, a universal application here, about a lizzard for sure, just the transformation into what society does. Good life's lesson, show well, haiiku was a great choice here, and they arn't easy to write, and come out with the 5-7-5 stardard set for haiiku, wouldn't have missed this one for the world, and thought you didf an excellent job in presenting. I racked my brain for an appropriate woerd with the right count to maintain your intent, when it comes to lizzards they are a way of life, and literal bedmates all year round there, and very animated. Enjoyed then until the day I saw my 18 month old, with the tail of the lizzard in his mouth, couldn't get to it before he sollowed it, and certainly was looking foreward to that diaper change, ugh!! Humor all around us, once the incident has passed, I still shutter when I think about it and that was 37 years ago, ha ha. Nice write developing this skill is not easy, especially for the poem to carry such a punch, keep going write more......My best always, Jo Morgan	2003-09-29 17:09:53
FALLING	Mark D. Kilburn	Hi Mark, being a Fall Baby I couldn't agree more with the first well written stanza. Every time I see one of your submissions I know we're in in for a extra special, upon close acquaintance with the actual sensations, and I don't believe this poem misses a nuanace to Fall creatures (by the way really like the title), even if we don't have first hand sighting of elk, and other creatures mentioned, you bring to us a reality that allows us that sighting we may never see in the wild. Not only all the essences of each creature, but the full sensation of the season is encapsulated in the tapestry of the differt weaves that constitute this seasonal delight. I wasn't wrong after reading it, just sorry that I seem to be behind my efforts of past participation, truthfully though I'm doing what this ailing ole body allows, although the mind is still sharp, physical abilities seem to drag behind. All in all I wouldn't even suggest suggest anything, but then nothing strikes me as needing to be fixed. Exciting, and really feeling that chill, don't mind the fall the winter though that's a completely different story, won't have the freedom of using my scooter which will dampen much. Keep writing, havn't failed to excitey sensen, or to make these visualization so real to me. Best regards always, Jo Morgan	2003-09-25 12:47:08
God is in His Glory	Claire H. Currier	Oh, how true Claire. You see I've my own personal Angel sitting on my right shoulder these past 64 years, and I've realized, and have for ever so long, all of Gods creatures from the most minute to the largest is exactly Gods Angels. I love this ledgend, and how you present it, even introducing Mr. Moose, for isn't what the beauty in creation is, from the rising, to the settle sun, and the belief in the creator. You worded this ledgend to touch the soul, most ready like a tale, but you interwove a wonderful semclence of prayer, and belief, for it's when we don't believe with our whole heart we struggle so badly, the peace is stripped for the soul. A wonderfully told tale to me Claire, but then I understand there are those that totally believe, and put their trust and faith in He that created us, each living animal, each sunset, each sun rise, and resting quietly and putting you faith in, is the salvalion. I like it, ordinarilly I don't usually comment on poems like this, but this is adorable, and very heart warming, and I know it came from your heart...Amen. I know it's my Angels and creator that said, not yet Joanne, not yet, there is more for you to do. Best regards always, God Bless, and keep writing, Jo Morgan	2003-09-24 18:15:36
japanese verse 25 (Dawn)	Erzahl Leo M. Espino	Hi Erzahl, Another and another pours from you fervent mind, regardless of suggestions given, your skill in the art of haiku, knows no peer. Each time you create a mood for the reader, in the brevity and use of linguists you create perfect pictures. Of course once again you use the right sylable count, but it what you do with that count and style that is amazing to me. No only do you capture the mood, you bring the reader into this beautiful framework of presentation. I could go on and on as to the skill you display, but I swear Erzahl you improve on a near prefection, which more then demonstrates your understanding of the style, the projection, and maintaining the intent. I don't know how many times I've experienced what you have written in my 64 years of life, but you captured the exact essence of all the sensation, and the poem creates a warm glow, you know that glow that places you in the beauty of the Creators universe, for when the sun rises in the East if fortunate enough to see the infused glow of the sun spreading, wiping out shadows to eventually proclain the warm and intent of comfort in the soul. Maybe I wane unpoetically, but honestly you're a pleasure to read, and each time you post I know I will read and cvomment..beautiful, comforting and deeply appreciated on the drab, overcast, rainey day, for I know rain is a cleansing and again and again the creator will once again allow this picture to calm troubled hearts, wonderful. (I realize you used caps, in natural poems the Japanese didn't you know, everything we read in translation is lower case, so I'll assume that's your preference in presents, either way a georgious poem.) My best as always, Jo Morgan	2003-09-23 13:41:12
Between the Wind and the Song of Calling Geese	Joanne M Uppendahl	The sembelance of what you are calling on, is the measure of what all look, peace and tranquilty. You use earthy reminders, but for the Lunar pull that directs the couse of our existence, the peace is in the quiet belif and acknowledgement of our Creator, for ultimately we all look, and understand there is only one ending for us, and he gives us the grace while we as simple mortal being, looking to universal meaning, and know we are only a speck in the shadow of time, but many look to the grace of the creator, for only he gives us peace, where we look upon all that surrounds us. Love your choice to hit the emotional level in this poem.. Somehow it humanizes just how fragile we are, and in looking to all of creator, and allowing uur selves to blend with the beauty and tranqulity of his creation, do we gain that measure of peace. Easily I transpose myself in the wonderful artic display of all the siction, there is some very pure in this poem, and it breaks comfort to the reader, at least this one, who is experiencing, but enjoying all the simple things that surround us. I dribble and I drabble here, but to me it speaks of that last envisioning before our demise, right now I'm failing badly, and this poem gives me peace and comfort. Amen Joanne, my mortality is limited now, and I'm not frightened, as I look at the clouds floating so majestically, and see the good of creation, I'm just so glad I was a tiny speck in the shaow of time. Others may glean completely differnt sensations from this poem, but my admiration that you have the insight and skill has open vistas always there, but finally recognized. The creator regardless of doctine and belief is when our love is, for he forgives, as long as we do not compound mistakes, but learn for them, then we can see the sundowns the sunset, all the beautiful lifeforms and we understand peace. It's marvelous. No real critique but a reflective quality given as to how your poetry affects me. Love ya, be well, and know you're a differnce in peoples lives...Love, Jo	2003-09-22 17:59:22
Brushed By Death	Debbie Spicer	Hi Debbie, how enphatic this poem is, "Brush with death", frightening, to floow the gist of your intent, you have capture the full essence of the experience, and in all ways a universal sensation of how it seems we're lost to relatiy, alone really with thoughts unconnected, yet making fll sense to you (all) who have had the experience of a close death. Wonderfully written, but I nary had a doubt, you were ready to write this poem, it's like the awareness of what actually hold value, those that surround, offering their strength, all one has to go is grab ahold, I really like how the thread of survival is described, for no matter, how bad the fight, God wills us on, he in quiet tones, tells us, now is not the time, to grab ahold, to turn ones face to the sun (another of his creations, it's almost as if we really have to unconciously fight, yet proclaim the will to live. I know the sun is the giver of life, all we do is continually reach for it, acknowling the Creator has determined we fight this fight, and you did. Tired, painful, out of it, yet we do reach for the sun. See I told you, no doubt in my mind, you would be very poetic, and organize, and present all these sensations so well, that's why I told you to post the poem, I had no doubt it would be well written, another extension of the healing process. You never cease to amze me, the heights you have scaled, the burdens you so carefully designate to their right place. He wants you, along with loving family and friends to reach for the sun. You make me proud to read this, and be included as a fiend, who loves and cares, and prays you will find total peace and tranquility, placing what would seem insurmountable odd, learn, and go on. You deserve the accolades, you met the devil, and beat him. Amen Love, now remember to write this deep inner respective, seeing in down in black a white, is truly a part of the total healing process. You know I care, I'm proud of you, you're quite a woman. Love you, always, Jo	2003-09-22 15:54:06
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