Thomas H. Smihula's E-Mail Address: tsmihula@sbcglobal.net
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Poem Title	Poet Name	Critique Given by Thomas H. Smihula	Critique Date
there are so many things i don’t want to learn	Mark Andrew Hislop	Bold statement showing emotion. Not wanting to belong yet finding one does sort of irony. Well done on presenting this thought. Thanks for sharing.	2005-12-07 16:11:01
The End Is Near	arvin r. reder	Like the thought and presentation in this. Felt at times there was some rough edges but only from this readers eyes probably not by others. Examples: Dusty winds, indicate a (very) dry day there was a supply store, near, (where) I passed, Preachers say, "Believe, it won't, be( )long Just some thoughts. Enjoyed reading and seeing your thoughts about a travel along life's road in today's world.	2005-12-07 15:56:50
Inner Me	stephen g skipper	Like how you use a refrain in this piece and mask the feelings within. You have made the reader look into their own eyes to see what remains there is it something we would like to see? Well done enjoyed reading this.	2005-12-07 15:49:39
Yuletide Wish For TPL	marilyn terwilleger	Merry Christmas to you and Happy Holidays. Very nice wish for all and a very fine choice of words. Thank you for sharing you thought about the season for all.	2005-12-07 15:47:29
Red wine cries on a washing machine's shoulder	Mark Andrew Hislop	Definately kept me in this piece and had me read every word. Very blunt statement at the end that gives this piece the power needed to place emphasis on the thought you present. It does seem unfair. Very well done and I enjoyed reading. Thanks for sharing.	2005-12-07 15:09:25
CONTRASTING WAYS	arvin r. reder	Like this poem very much enjoyed the rhyme and meter presented. My favorite parts include: The grazing caribou are ready to move in haste, my eyes searching for the hunter, preying for their taste, watching, standing, then stalking for one of the lame, A drifting predator wolf, in pursuit of its game. My only suggestion and a minor one is the following: stumbling, across the tundra, or was it just for me, Just a thought. Thanks for sharing.	2005-12-07 15:03:40
Leave-taking	stephen g skipper	This is a beautiful poem of love that has left in body but not soul for it still lives within. You have captured this reader by showing the togetherness even in passing. Well done and enjoyable to read. thank you for sharing.	2005-12-07 14:57:14
Of what there is of life that cannot find a home	Mark Andrew Hislop	I enjoyed your piece with the use of old english wording. You thought is delivered througout this poetic presentation. Your words flow nicely and have depth. This is a wonderful piece and wouldn't change anything with it. Your ending brings me back to the main concept when mortal eyes return. Thanks so much for sharing.	2005-12-05 09:11:47
To Oakwood and Back	Thomas Edward Wright	Wow...the depth and the story told here. This was written in such a way that the reader never strayed. The memories you have played out on these pages is simply wonderful. The main thought I see is how this man is alone but satisfied in just the memories. Thank you for sharing this.	2005-12-02 14:09:23
The Crow Haiku	Duane J Jackson	Duane, Very well done especially for the first attempt, if only I could do as well I promised someone next month I would try. You give us a crow after a long day overlooking and appreciating the surroundings. You kept the pattern intacked and visual. Like the use of the old church steeple establishing the setting. Well done. Thanks for sharing as always. Thomas	2005-06-07 13:31:43
The Opposite Side Of Life	marilyn terwilleger	Marilyn, Nice how you have taken this story breaking it into stanza’s. The first and second stanza’s paint a picture of the land you are traveling with the splendor of nature. In the third your presentation actually made me pause in thought. The description of the fires destruction is wonderfully illustrated and once again a picture is painted for the reader. The next stanza you give us a little hope and birth comes back into natures cycle. Well done as always great descriptions within this piece. Thomas	2005-06-06 08:16:14
Summoned By A Kiss	Erzahl Leo M. Espino	Erzahl, How I enjoy the expression within this piece. Your Haika is suburb and you have shown me the other side within this completely different format. It is extremely well presented, excellent use of words actually one of my favorites for this month. Have only one question and that is how can one find and realize a lost moment if it hasn’t been lived? Maybe that is the puzzle presented. Here are my favorite parts: Murky aroma of the pond Nightfall comes and conquers my world Magic lips of my princess Letting my sonata be heard. Thanks for sharing this side of you. Thomas	2005-06-06 08:09:45
Around the Block	Mell W. Morris	Mell, First let me say my thoughts are with you. Poetry, you are one of the few that understands it reason for existing. Knowing that there is both a physical and internal part within each verse. You have shared that thought with us in the first verse by referencing dualism. Questions arise within each word presented as you so elequently state in you next stanza. Your presentation of poetry hits it directly. We live to read it, we live to write it, we cherish it for music is within earch verse depicting life. Excellent, wouldn't change a thing on this. Love this type of work. Thomas.	2005-06-06 07:59:26
If I Could Fly	marilyn terwilleger	I see an individual that only wishes they could fly with the sparrow you brought this clear in the first stanza and reinforced it with your last line it is so important to bring the point back to the reader and you have done it nicely. To be carefree, reaching as far as one can reach another part you showed so well in the first stanza. To travel and see all the wonders that you have given to reader to explore and wish they were flying to see these wonders (whether man-made or natural). Your last stanza gives me the feeling of growing through the years realizing the beauty that surrounds us all. My favorite parts: fly below another sky skip my feet on London's bridge shatters clouds and rolls up the front of heaven Instead I shall weave a way Very well done, good structure and even flow. Thanks, Thomas	2005-06-06 07:10:08
A Long March	Nancy Ann Hemsworth	Nancy, Again I have the privilege to read another one of your Haiku poems. Excellent way the transition is done moving into April. Thitle is very appropriate giving the reader more depth and the long awaited April. Excellent enjoyed reading. Thanks for sharing another one of your poems. Thomas	2005-06-03 20:02:46
Cinquain	marilyn terwilleger	Marilyn, You do these quite nicely using the 22 syllables you make me want to try and do it also even though I tend to write free form. I see sweetness and caring for one another in this piece more than just love. You give the reader the sense of softness by the use of the petals touching. This piece is pleasurable and smooth to read. You show both the physical and thoughtful side to love in this piece. Another well done poem. Thanks, Thomas	2005-06-03 13:46:31
Walking In Morning	Nancy Ann Hemsworth	Nancy, Overcast skies as is ones life in this poem. The effort is seen as one trudges forward through the mist. Picture is clearly seen. Compassion and understanding yet questioning the need to hold on to a love that was not meant to be, you tell the story of a lover’s plight. If only they could open their eyes to see that love is waiting. The poem is formatted well. I noticed the rhyme in stanza one in lines 1,3 and also in the second stanza in 2,4 then in the third and fourth 1,3 and 2,4, back to a 2,4 in the last. This is nicely displayed for the reader and there isn’t need to add more to this wonderful poem. Like your layout, well done. Thomas	2005-06-03 13:12:23
Two Souls	marilyn terwilleger	Marilyn, Like the message and at the same time keeping this in the pattern that you have selected. Your beginning and ending sums up the heart of your poem. Your use of two souls melding together includes all aspects and emotions molding into one. I see a 2,4,6,8,2 syllable poem. Well done and thanks for showing me another aspect of the trade. Thomas	2005-06-03 07:46:05
Traces of War	Latorial D. Faison	Latorial, The statements within this poem are straight and to the point. So many readers forget that poetry is about expressing positions and viewpoints. You have done this once again in this poem showing the reader about the forgotten ones and the families they have jarred. Yes we do move forward picking up the pieces. My favorite parts include: too many sands of sadness, feel the fear of yesterdays, dusty pieces of denial. These give the reader realities. Very well structured, presentation has an even flow, another excellent poem. Thanks, Thomas	2005-06-02 07:26:09
Crested Swift	Nancy Ann Hemsworth	Nancy You have given me the vibrations in your first line and how they entice the watcher in the second. The speed so fast, finishing with a well polished presentation. I really enjoy this type of work and it is so challenging. Well done again. Thomas	2005-06-02 07:17:32
Gripping Dirt	Dellena Rovito	Dellena, The depth is what I like in this poem especially. Finding ones purpose, identity, is a difficult and journey onto itself. Questions always arise depending on the direction chosen and each path will have a fork; it is at the end that one has to ponder was it the correct one chosen on the travel of life? The first stanza prepares the reader where the second leads to the question within. You lead this reader into the last stanza with the puzzle of life. Well done. Great format, wonderful words, great questions. No suggestions here on a job well done. Thomas.	2005-06-01 08:17:45
Stars Alive!	Nancy Ann Hemsworth	Nancy, Another well written tanka poem. My disadvantage in reading this is I just finished reading another one of your exceptional tanka formated poems. The flit and glitter did not entice me as much as the dancing of the butterflies. The first two lines although well written made this reader ask questions like: Tiny fantasies - they are to the eyes but so much larger than anything we can fathom. Through the trees - depending upon the season and type of tree. Now where you bring it home to me is the captured prize - within the childs eyes. Lanterns snatched from summer skies - the brillance and wonder received. Sparkling stars in mason jars - To reflect upon. This is only my take on the poem but it is really another outstanding one but your butterfly one captured me. Thanks for sharing, Thomas.	2005-06-01 08:01:35
BALLET	Nancy Ann Hemsworth	Nancy, What you have given this reader is a moment of pleasure. I can see the dance of the butterflies you have presented in this piece. Wonderful words my favorites: Wispy, tinted wings, Tapestry, blistful ease, and the rhyme of in the breeze to end it. Outstanding Tanka you have give the reader more than just words. Thomas	2005-06-01 07:51:35
Wet Ink	Debbie Spicer	Debbie, This takes life and presents it to the reader. There is pain, there is hope, there is warmth to be found in this piece. I see one sailing within a harbor just on the border of open waters. I see one reaching the mountain tops where dreams have no boundaries the span is endless. I see a sense of fanity by others not focused on their lifes direction. So many have had their dreams dashed yet the question is will the dreams be found once again. To reflect is truly a gift for it is there we find the answers even if briefly. To seek the answers is only part of the healing the other is to let go. Now you complete the picture for this reader for it is only a brief playback of the experience and life is now back on its journey searching for the warmth of the sun. This is what I saw yet everyone views words differently. Maybe this is just what I wanted to see. Nice smooth poem, very well written. I remember the poems written years ago and I do see healing within this one. For the bright moments can never be taken away nor the dark ones completely they can only be obscured but for longer periods of time. Hope all is well with you. Thomas	2005-06-01 07:47:11
Lost Love	Donna Carter Soles	Like how you give us the question making the reader ponder upon the love felt. If you hear the song it will always return sometimes glanced over but always there when needed this was the thought given to me by the first stanza. The second stanza is a very smooth stanza and like how you have used eclipses throughout the poem this is an excellent use of them. In the third stanza you have shown the reader that love has its dark side when it is missing. In the next stanza you have shown this reader that the love was one sided yet never realized it was since the reflection was not obstructed before, but as the mirror break the picture becomes clearer. Very well thought out poem, the only question I have is it seemed as if the first stanza was going to give the reader a love that had been sweet and wonderful but in the end I saw one that was only a reflection. Just a thought and thanks for sharing this with us. Thomas.	2005-05-31 09:09:26
Broken	Terrye Godown	Terrye, What depth in the first stanza, so well communicated. Hope clinging on in seen within the second stanza. The makeup of the father and the depth of lost tolerance to his actions clearly displayed in the third. Then you bring into the picture memories by setting the table for the children not losing focus on the importance of life. You bring into the picture at least for me in the fifth stanza a vehicle that reminds me of a Mercury Monclair making me see the styles reflective of the years 1955 through 1960. You have shown well how life is within this splintered family. The impact you have given the reader about trying to put the pieces together is so well shown in the closing of this piece by displaying it in the last two stanza's. Well done on breaking the before and current into separate areas. Thanks, really enjoyed reading this one. Thomas.	2005-05-31 08:00:50
Black Satin	Audrey R Donegan	Audrey, This depicts a moment so well and the depth it takes when in love. The words are stimulating to the reader using lines like 'mute magnificence Content within your bones' and 'Breathing your exhale' those are my favorite parts to this poem. The title is very befitting since you focus on it in the last stanza. You show the presence of your love next to you, well done, excellent love poem. Thanks for sharing. Thomas.	2005-05-31 07:34:18
For The Love Of Aphrodite	Nancy Ann Hemsworth	Nancy, Poetry at its best the kind that can be put to music. Rhyme and rhythem so well kept in this one. What is great about this piece is the thought behind it, written in a way that the reader focuses on it. To often a poem sounds so smoothe that the reader loses the thought but here one doesn't. As you know I love the ocean such serenity it gives yet the turbulance can be great. Well done. Thanks for sharing. Thomas	2005-05-31 07:12:00
High Tide	Medard Louis Lefevre Jr.	Medard, What impresses me mostly about this piece is the four stanza's created to give the reader the sense of a wave going over. You were very clever in this poem by displaying the sights one sees giving them the memories that will never cease. I too love the beach, grew up next to it five blocks away, joined the Navy and traveled the seas, came back and enjoyed the surf. I do have some suggestions but they are only my opinion. This is an well written piece so this is only my take: Dolphins swim entertaining me In the distance, shrimp boats work The watchful pelicans, skim close to sea Pink sun rises beyond the horizon The sea oats cling desperately to dunes Beachcombers looking to find the perfect shell Wouldn't change anything in the last stanza. Well done. Thanks for bringing the sea back to me. Thomas	2005-05-27 08:09:07
People Say They're Kind	Latorial D. Faison	Latorial This brings out a thought for the reader and keeps it there. It shows a form of prejudice within so many who think they are kind and considerate. If only they can look past there white picket fence. There is a hidden part for me in this poem, whether you intended it or not, that is greed to keep themselves away from the cruelties in life that need to be addressed if they are to cease. Your presentation is well structured and appearance uniform. Makes one think, no suggestions on improving this. Well done. Thomas	2005-05-27 07:54:50
The Blue Wolf (R)	Patricia Gibson-Williams	Patricia, Love the italics and the first stanza brings the reader into the thought. It is hard to pick a favorite stanza but the first seemed to catch this eye. Rhyming so smoothe, telling the story so well. I see dawn and the brightness of love realeased at first light. A love not allowed by others, although given without question. Another of the outstanding poems within the group this month. Thanks for sharing this with us and giving us a story along with the poem. Well done. Thanks, Thomas	2005-05-27 07:43:47
Cursed	Dellena Rovito	Dellena, Dellena, Thoroughly enjoyed this poem, the depth, the questions, this is what makes good poetry. A personal side to life is brushed upon by most but you add complexity into this showing the confusion that arises and the curse of life is displayed. I see rhyme when it is needed, I see prose where it blends, three well presented stanza with a thought presented for the ending wishing that one does not have to live the curse. Outstanding piece of work. Thank you, Thomas	2005-05-27 07:33:49
Spring's Prophecy	Paul R Lindenmeyer	Paul, I really enjoyed the presentation with this poem it is difficult to create a good step down poem but you did with this one. I felt as if I was reaching down to touch spring blooms that will soon open to their fullest (my favorite part). Spring is displayed in the air that will trickle down below as the season begins. Well done. Thanks for sharing a good formated poem. Thomas.	2005-05-27 07:26:41
Visions 6453	hello haveaniceday	Barbara, The first stanza sets the tone for this poem and depth. I sense the reach, I see the arms wipe open unconditionally. My favorite stanza 'her toast and butter faith' persistant hunger this is excellent. The ending brings full circle the need of love within one life. Well done outstanding poem. Thanks, Thomas.	2005-05-27 07:18:22
Tiny Tragedy	Nancy Ann Hemsworth	Nancy, A well presented poem. I like the rhyme maintained thoughout good job. You keep the reader involved by the non use of punctuation at the ends of each line. My only suggestions are make this a two stanza poem ending it with the last two lines separately and where Tragedy unfolds tonight maybe Tragedy unfolds throughout tonight. Example: Drawn blindly to their final act A calamity, of true impact How sad; these tiny creatures plight Tragedy unfolds throughout tonight Slain quickly Neath the back porch light... Just a thought. Enjoyed reading this poem. Thanks, Thomas	2005-05-27 07:07:11
Lost Years	Medard Louis Lefevre Jr.	Medard, I see despair within this piece. I like the frankness of the words and each line making the reader ponder upon them. The main thought that is seen for me is how one looks inward ignoring all that is surrounding one. Building a wall we have all done this, some are able to chip away, others have someone they least except to scale it and enter their world. Yes the years are lost when we have secluded ourselves yet the world can be bright and full even for a moment for it enters the inner self. I really like this piece you place emphasis on being alone preventing others from reaching one. The hidden message I see is fear and I get that from your first stanza by your words depression, agoraphobia, and relationships eroded. I like the presentation and format especially you not using punctuation at the end of each line for it should be assumed. Well done and thank you for sharing. Thomas	2005-05-26 08:18:47
Silly Me	Claire H. Currier	Claire, You are so right in your concept on those that have only one review. I will do my best to make sure that no one this month only gets one. I like to read and offer my views on all types of writing here at TPL. You are not silly for thinking it can be more. I remember when you first started here and how you were anxious to find out how the sight worked. There is no one direction for it constantly changes according to the audience that is present. Some of us come back from time to time, some of us leave because we lose are direction, while others are only here for rewards. When I write I like feedback, I like to know if I read it right the first time, I like diging into the depths of the words, I like being taken on a trip. Alas my life limits me in enjoying this pasttime for my life is full and the moments I have cherished. Have three grandchildren now, great family taking my entire time when free time is available. Since we raise our grandson we participate in all his activities he will be 11 tomorrow. We are involved in his schooling, year round sports (baseball, football, basketball), and extra activities. Friday nights is the only time we have to ourselves since his father will take him to his place now that he is married. Sorry to get off the subject. Some verses, good format, a little humor, and some hope within this piece. Thanks, Thomas.	2005-05-26 07:59:42
verse 70 (Candle)	Erzahl Leo M. Espino	Erzahl, Always enjoy reading your Haiku. You have given me a picture of a candle and the depth of life itself. Love the words used Shadow maker(not sure if intentional without space in your Haiku), mortal, and Guide. These amplify the need for light within the darkest moments. Well done as always. Thomas	2005-05-26 07:44:07
Hybrid Haiku	Joanne M Uppendahl	Joanne, What I like about this Haiku is the complete thought given the reader and yet you show the statement is incorrect for gold can be more than the ore itself. It is the worth you give it and how you see it that determines if you have obtained gold. Open your eyes is another side of this for treasures are abundant. You have kept the 5,7,5 format intacked and the layout is pleasant. Thanks Joanne for the thought. Thomas.	2005-05-26 07:38:19
Gentle Touch	Claire H. Currier	A very nice rendition on the 23 Psalm. I like how you have given us a picture of the life of one who walks in the shawdow of death yet there should be no fear. Bringing this in a real life view and how the one should accept his kingdom is difficult but it was clear in your piece. Nature does have it part in this and having the breeze touch the cheek is a nice sensation given the reader. Well done Claire. Thanks. Thomas	2005-05-26 07:31:43
Letter to My Friend	Claire H. Currier	Claire, A very nice appealing letter and poem. It is very smoothe flowing and shows how important friendship is comparing it to the Grandmother you love so much. Treasures are much than just personal treasures and you have captured that moment. Your structure is well constructed and the words important and simple to follow. Thank you for giving us a reflection upon your inner feelings. Thomas	2005-05-26 07:23:58
The Secret Love	Helen C DOWNEY	The Knight in shining armor. Love the ending in this piece for it places a strong emphasis on the dream. Although you have a well presented piece there are a few suggestions I will make. It has been awhile since I have been around and am known for saying what I think otherwise one will never know how there piece is viewed. Although I do not like to comment on spelling you might want to put your poem into Word and check the spelling, sometimes it will distract the reader. Some words that distracted me were freesom (freedom), bekieve (believe). First stanza did not match the remaining in presentation six lines verses the five in the others even though you offset the fifth line in it. Here are some other suggestions for other areas: Tossing our heads back in laughter click, click our mugs, continuing the journey on! (Just a thought not the answer) Picnicing in many different places Running, laughing, tasting food and many races Saddle horses, then gallop through our kingdom Enjoying winds of our found new freedom Such happy faces on our silouettes. (Again only a suggestion not the answer) No one new from whence we came. Alas, awoke, the tone of an alarm... Again these are only suggestions. I see a great potential within this writing for you are expressing feelings and dreams. Thanks for sharing. Thomas	2005-05-25 08:11:36
For Ashley	Audrey R Donegan	Audrey, I see the cry of a mother in this piece telling her cherished child to reach beyond for there is light above. It will be reached one day even through the torment of life. This is my interpretation of what I read. I like how you take stanza one and emphasize it in four once again, this focus the reader on the challenges of life. The ending gives the child hope even if it can not be seen. The format is well presented and my only suggestion is in the third stanza to make it uniform to the first, second, and fourth stanza's. Well done and thanks for sharing. Thomas	2005-05-25 07:41:33
Millennium Lady	Helen C DOWNEY	Helen, I like this two stanza approach to that one with such beauty is not obtainable for it is hard to grasp what is within. Word usage spectacular gives the reader the sense of the surroundings and how she is unscathed by it. Your length is appropriate to much would render this piece would only shroud your presentation. Outstanding work look forward to reading more of it. Thanks for sharing wouldn't change this especially the verbage. My favorite parts formidable walls, beauty ascended, Cold intrepid water, Attainability thus prevented, she has survived, maintained every (beautiful) feature. I do not review spelling in my voting for sometimes we write so fast we want to get our feelings out...Thanks for sharing again well done. Thomas	2005-05-25 07:33:13
Golden Moment	Mark D. Kilburn	Mark, I love the pleasant feeling this poem radiates. This reminds me of Dawn to Dusk and the blending of the two. I would like to read a little more in the heart of this piece especially since you captured this reader by the mesmerized lock of eyes. Just a thought. Well done. Thanks, Thomas	2005-05-24 07:48:21
Blood Run's Cold	Claire H. Currier	Claire, Nicely done from serenity to the thoughts of the restless untamed mind. The flow is very well done. The only suggestion and I really don't know if it is one that is I am unaware of Mt. Tully, what does it stand for. Remember I am only a simple reader. Again well done. Thanks, Thomas	2005-05-24 07:42:53
After the Storm	Joanne M Uppendahl	Joanne I like the change in Title it helps this reader relate better. You pared it down and that also enhances the poem. I especially like the change to anew from once more and the use of wisely versus prudent. I also noticed how you made your stanza's uniform now the structure is complete. Again well done really like your changes for it has made it more consistent for the reader. Thanks again. Tom	2003-10-09 17:22:39
Clouds and Curtains	Mark D. Kilburn	Mark each comment I make is what I see in groups of four lines. First four lines - not sure if this is what was meant could it be death engulfs us and that we do not know what is waiting for us? Second group - here I see hesitation, making one ponder on what the future holds. Third group - now I see disparity entering into the picture for not always is there a solution for the event the individual goes through. You might want to consider not having the Vegas comment because it detracts from the depth of the poem at least for this reader. If you ended it with 'works half the time' your point still gets across. Second stanza First group - you come back with what is behind waiting for me to encounter. Second group - fear is also shown to the reader by stealing courage. Third group - now I see a clearer picture for there are those that face it. You might want to consider at this point making a third stanza with only the last two lines somewhat a break from your poem would give pause to help focus on the event . I find these two lines really great giving the reader a sense of continuing on. In the next stanza First group – you show that maybe you are being drawn into it, and accepting the outcome. Second group – I like the simplicity here but see the pain one bears. Third group – clarity in clearing the mind, realizing the importance of staying with the world as we have learned through the years. Then you might want to complete it with the remainder of the poem to make Emphasis that you still go on. Just a thought and viewpoint of this reader. Really an outstanding poem hope this really isn’t the case but if it is I have been there myself but for me I have less and less episodes of the pain. Another great poem Mark my only real suggestions regard the format but again that is only this readers point of view. Thanks for sharing. Tom	2003-10-09 14:47:23
japanese verse 27 (Will)	Erzahl Leo M. Espino	Your first line because of the title indicating will power leads me right into the thought. We all have will yet not all have the strength to carry it out, maybe to some they are hopes. Now you give me the thrust of the Haiku where freedom is the direction this will takes us and by following this path we continue on. Finally you show me that nothing can stop our will their are no walls. Thank you Erzahl I really enjoy your work congradulations for last months entry. Tom	2003-10-09 09:27:13
Role Model	Joanne M Uppendahl	Joanne I see this poem as nature and a visual of during and after a storm. You bring back the memories of such storms to this reader. I see the slant of the rain, I see the wind moving objects not sturdy enough to withhold the fury, and finally I see life go on after the storm. Yes life's web allows us to continue on. Beautifully done and the visual was created. Both nature and life's rebound are protrayed. The format is easy for the reader to follow and the words easily understood. Well done as always. Tom	2003-10-09 09:20:46
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