Wayne R. Leach's E-Mail Address: martij@surfglobal.net

So far 709 People have Entered a Personal Profile on The Poetic Link! Click Here to see the rest of them or to Add your Own Personal Profile Now!

Below you will see ALL of the Critiques that Wayne R. Leach has given on The Poetic Link.
By Clicking a Poem Title, you can view the poem that is associated with each Critique.

If you would like to view all of Wayne R. Leach's Poetry just Click Here.

Click HERE to return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!

Poem Title	Poet Name	Critique Given by Wayne R. Leach	Critique Date
The Boy Who Played with Barbie	G. Donald Cribbs	Don, this is a well-told story in its free verse form. You have used many poetic tools very well, esp. the alliteration and assonance. Of course, the imagery is excellent, as is the cadence. In other words, there isn't much to recommend. The only place that caused me to hesitate a little was in S3 with: "beneath the porch steps dusting off the window my soul lifts with the dirt we are made of." It sounds like the "soul" lifts the window with dirt, and this seems a little puzzling. Or, is the "soul" dusting the window with dirt? Still difficult to envision. Hopefully, I am not mis-reading and misunderstanding your intentions for I think this is an excellent piece of art. The strength of the closing line, with its extra length, is outstanding and fully defines the objectivity of the poem. Best wishes. wrl	2004-06-06 19:22:08
Where The Heart Is	Mell W. Morris	Mell, a beautiful write - and read. I enjoyed it, loving the enjambment for it is so well done. Some try - and fail - with this poetic tool. The imagery could not be more emphatic, as it grows into completion near the end with the "shadows" of the homeless. I had several tenaments in years passed, and huge lilacs grew beside one building. It was in a section of town where homeless wandered, lingered and slept in some of the halls of my buildings in winter. I can relate very well to this wonderful poem. Thanks....and, peace. wrl	2004-06-06 09:07:51
By The Seat Of My Pants	Marcia McCaslin	Marcia, nicely rhymed couplets in perfect iambic pentameter, but it lacks the length for a sonnet which contains 14 lines. One form [Petrarchan or Italian] has a rhyme scheme of ABBAABBA for the octave, and CDECDE, CDCCDC, or CDEDCE for the closing sestet. The other form [Shakespearean or English] consists of 3 quatrains and a couplet, usually ABAB CDCD EFEF GG. A Spenserian sonnet would be ABAB BCBC CDCD EE. It appears your work resembles the English form, and by adding one more quatrain, you'd have succeeded. However, this poem is very worthy, with great rhyming and meter. I like the color simile in L3 & L4. Thanks for posting, and hope I've helped with your efforts. Peace. wrl	2004-06-06 08:55:39
Apology to my readers	Mark Andrew Hislop	Apology accepted - if necessaary. I think not, for all who visit here contribute something, if only anger, sadness, time. This from my "bloodied hands". All minds are different, thanks to whomever or whatever determined it would be so. Poetic contributions are different, as well, thanks to those who determine that. I'd say your contribution[s] are worthy of acceptance, if not by all, then at least, by some of us. So, for what it's worth, write on in... peace. wrl	2004-06-06 08:38:15
Above the Well	G. Donald Cribbs	Don, such a lot of fantastic imagery to devour. Great personification work. Alliteration and assonance are good, too. I struggled a little with some of those images, kind of way out there, IMO. [e.g. "wrestle God against the open spaces", and "When the storm hits cold stones below/my feet smell like wind stirring the water."] They are vivid, but quite a stretch for poor little me. The last verse seemed stronger, less vague. I really liked that closing stanza. Maybe it's because I'm from the coast, and therefore, relate better. I can detect the excellence of rhythm and the use of poetic tools is outstanding. Very well constructed and I can see that a lot of time and work must have gone into this piece. Thanks for sharing with us. peace. wrl	2004-06-05 18:19:51
Beside the Gate	Joanne M Uppendahl	Beautifully done, Joanne. I'm sure you 've heard of and seen the double "the" in S4, L1 by now. This has wonderful imagery and some nice rhymes and allits. You have described a most peaceful place where most of us would like to wait for "that other place". Home is where the heart is, to steal someone's quote. I simply loved your simile in S3, the "seasons - like ivy". Super! Write on, milady - in happiness and peace. wrl	2004-06-02 22:40:56
MY BEST	Michael N. Fallis	Michael, some very nice work with the assonance, slant and interior rhymes, with some excellent imagery thrown in. The punctuation and hesitations make this a rewarding read with a nice rhythm. The teeth in my mouth have rotted and gone. - [I might use semicolons for some of these series of thoughts.] The soles of my shoes are worn bare. I am broken and busted and lost as a sheep And for sure all my dreams are nightmares. - [Maybe "...sure each of my dreams, a nightmare."? for singular] The path I have traveled...wrought with pot holes - [I suggest using "is" to replace the ellipsis.] And dangers around every curve. - [Maybe "With dangers...."? Not critical, just a suggestion.] I have paddled a river with rapids galore - [How about plural "paddled rivers" delete the "a" for flow?] Where I floated on sweet salty tears. - [Sweet salt?? Maybe a different adjective, without losing the alliteration? Just a thought.] And although I stand here...a wreck of a man; - [A comma might be sufficient instead of the semi-colon?] A failure in all that life tests, 'Tis the comfort I find, deep in my soul With the knowledge, that I did my best. _ [Suggest leaving out the comma here] Wonderful effort, despite all my suggestions - for that is ALL they are. Write on in harmony and peace. wrl	2004-06-02 22:32:11
Condensation	Mark Andrew Hislop	Mark, a fascinating take on us poets. Uniqueness and excellent imagery is yours, my friend. Countdown - 4, 3, 2, 1 lines per stanza, yet with increasing magnetism to draw the reader along. Great job, sir. [And yes, I see it.] :>) Write on in harmony and peace. wrl	2004-06-02 22:08:45
Blending of the Heart	Debbie Spicer	Debbie, how true! Excellent form, imagery, rhythm, rhymes. I might use a comma here or there, but what the heck, it's yours and I know they were left out intentionally. No problem. Some nice alliteration and assonance in this as well. An excellent read and description of that most difficult of subjects about which all poets write. Can't wait for Part Two. Write on in harmony, happiness and peace. wrl	2004-06-02 22:02:19
Hush, a Young Bard Sings Once More	Thomas Edward Wright	I bet she's a beauty, just like this poem. A fun and enjoyable read. Thanks. Nice occasional rhymes, just the right touch for the "Beamer". I kind of wonder why a 2004 BMW needs re-fashioning, though. Thanks. peace. wrl	2004-05-31 20:29:49
A Tribute	Sherri L Smith	Thanks for posting this most appropriate piece. It is well done, and I might add - well deserved by all who served. I thank them, too. I truly appreciate the country in which I was born, and live. I only wish that all who are blessed with this opportunity would do the same. I pray for peace. wrl	2004-05-31 20:09:32
The Scar the Wing Leaves	G. Donald Cribbs	Don, extraordinary depth in [and between] the lines of this work. Self-exam time seems always present, to some. I also have problems with mirrors at times. Excellent title that says more than most can tell in a page. I will attempt no alteration, only state my enjoyment in absorbing this - over and over. Nice job, sir. Peace be yours. wrl	2004-05-30 17:31:45
Heaven on earth	Mark Andrew Hislop	I read it, but cannot suggest a thing. Score - be damned. It was another interesting read from your "pen", though.	2004-05-30 17:16:36
New Chapter	Karen Ragan	Karen, this is a beautifully crafted release of the emotions a mother must go through as her "baby" leaves for another woman. I enjoyed it immensely, even to the point of getting a little misty myself. You have adorned this piece with just the right amount of glowing imagery to enhance those emotions passed on to the reader. Beautiful job, and far be it for me to change it. My condolences, and I hope you will find happiness and peace in your future. wrl	2004-05-30 17:10:14
My teacher	Mark Andrew Hislop	Mark, I enjoy your stuff, and can relate to most of it. This requires little analysis and comments - only reading and enjoying. Romantic, sensual almost to the point of erotic IMO. For that perfect, perfect song - [doubly "perfect"!] I learnt while watching her go - [I know "learnt" is intentional, and it says so much more. Excellent.] Another superior piece. Write on in happiness and peace. wrl	2004-05-30 16:57:51
Prima materia	Mark Andrew Hislop	Mark, aha - the never-ending circle, eh? ...and, what's that we inherited from our ancestors? ...gave to our youth? Could it be only reproductive clay? This is deep, so maybe I am off track, but really don't think so. I enjoyed it the way I read it anyway. I always find your material deeply thought-provoking, requiring several reads, at least. Any who like a challenge should delve into all of your works. Best wishes. wrl	2004-05-30 16:48:33
Ashes	Rick Barnes	Rick, an interesting read, assuming the metaphor re love, emotion - or even, if literally fire and ashes. The imagery and feeling contained herein leave me warm - then... cold, so very cold. If one can feel that from mere words, then the words are as they should be. Very good poem. A lot of puctuation, but here, that is okay. It only adds to the chill -"when the spark has gone". Write on in peace, and I hope happiness. wrl	2004-05-30 16:20:24
This Leda and Her Swan	Thomas Edward Wright	A beautifully constructed and revealing metaphor replete with sensuality and sensitivity. Truly remarkable, sir. The beast not always lies at rest, eh? No need to bore you with line-by-line details, for I can see no need for change. peace. wrl	2004-05-30 10:59:52
Photograph	Edwin John Krizek	Edwin, what an emotional, heart-wrenching outflow of words. I can relate to this quite well, but each relationship has its problems, and though similar, every one contains twists and turns that another might not. The imagery, colors, sounds, etc. of the 2nd stanza are very well done; the alliterations are plentiful, too. I thought that the latter portions of the poem kind of faded in comparison to that 2nd stanza, became more matter-of-fact sounding, even though life sometimes is just that. I'd like to see the feelings depicted a little more strongly in S2 and S3. I do like the last stanza very much with its more metaphorical content. Thanks for sharing this sadness and hurt with us, if indeed it is personal as the 1st person suggests. I wish only happiness and peace to all. wrl	2004-05-30 10:21:55
What I Wish For In A Friend	Cathy Hill Cook	Cathy, I am certain that the sentiments expressed here are very much appreciated - whomever the friend may be. I will be honest, and hope you expect nothing more, but this seems more like a note to the friend, rather than a poem. You appear to be telling them you appreciate them, rather than showing it with imagery and sounds. I encourage you to really make this person feel and experience, through more sensual and pictoral language, the love and caring you have for him/her. Thanks for sharing this message with us, though, and hope I have not discouraged you with my harsh honesty. Best wishes for happiness and peace. wrl	2004-05-30 10:09:00
The Guru	Mark Andrew Hislop	Yes, Mark. Well said, and except for one misspelling/typo, I'd change nothing. Nice alternating rhyme pattern and rhythm well done. Much in the way of l and d alliterations to help the reader sense the mood of this piece. Sp. of "excesses" in S2, L2. Sorry for the brevity, but score as you will, for I see no need to be verbose here. Peace. wrl	2004-05-29 18:45:15
Hiding	Nancy Anne Korb	Nancy, yes. Nonsense? I don't think so. ;>) This is a very strong poem, with its staccato lines hurrying the reader down your important message. Very well done. I might suggest losing the caps. [again] :>) ...and, even the punctuation in this one, for the line breaks seem to give pause enough, and the periods, etc. maybe too much hesitation. Just a suggestion. In this section, you might try it with deleting the items enclosed below. More brevity?? Tear the bars From [off] your cell[.] Seek the stars [And] leave your hell[.] Thanks for sharing this with us. Please keep on keeping on, too. Again, I wish you wellness, happiness, peace. wrl	2004-05-28 19:43:06
Dawning	Nancy Anne Korb	Nancy, I'm glad you have discovered our group here at TPL. I hope I can give a few minor suggestions for this, because it has great potential for an exceptional piece. Please do not take offense, for I intend not to write your poem, only suggest some things for your consideration. First, I would rather not see each line capitalized for IMO it detracts from the flow, forcing the reader to hesitate and discern where each sentence or thought begins and ends. If caps are used at all, I'd only begin actual sentences with them. Only my opinion, and there are some who will disagree I'm sure. I am kind of noted as the "punctuation nut" here, so I'll make a few suggestions along those lines, as well. I wonder, also, if this might be more effective in the present tense. That would get rid of a lot of the -ing's and make the piece more dramatic, I think. There's some great imagery in your poem. Like a snail[,] darkness crept[,] Rearing its slimy head [-] Then back to its portable bed. - [another comma instead of the period, maybe?] Wending its horrible way, Allowing us nothing to say, - [I might delete this comma.] Day after miserable day. - The main thought seems to continue down through the first 10 lines, so maybe some semi-colons would be in store to isolate some of the clauses and phrases a little more, but no periods - yet.] Stealing the promise of happiness, Pain suspended, unexpressed, - [Could this comma go, too?] Shadows and so used to less. - [This is where the strain seems to break off, requiring that period.] The cold freeze of winter took hold in our hearts, Emptiness learned from a young life in parts, - [This seems just a little vague. Is the "in parts" really needed? You have a rhyme in the next line anyway. Only a thought.] Never allowing our childhood's to start. - [no apostrophe for the plural "childhoods". The apostrophe makes it possessive.] Like enemies in battle, choosing up sides, - [delete the 1st comma, and "up"? Better rhythm IMO] Seeking the strongest to hide behind, - [I think a period might work here instead.] The ones who should love us, so very blind. [There is certainly a lot of emotion pouring out of these lines!] Till growth gave us freedom, - [I'd drop both commas from these last lines to give it a quickening sense.] Life bade us to come, And try to forget where we'd all come from. - [...and delete the "try to", for "bade" covers that thought somewhat, then I'd suggest transposing the final phrase to get rid of the ending preposition, such as: "and forget from where we'd all come." - [ I know you have the same word in the line before, but think maybe that one could be changed to another synonym to let the rhyme come at the end without being redundant. I hope you do not think me too harsh, and of course, you are free to ignore any or all of my suggestions for they are only for your consideration, and my intent is only to help, not re-write. Thanks for sharing this emotional piece with us. Write on with my best wishes for happiness and peace. wrl	2004-05-28 19:29:37
The Watcher	Regis L Chapman	Reeg, I read it several times, and thought I had it, but I'm still not sure. I enjoyed the poetics contained, but the message was just out of reach for me, I think. Parts I could grab, others elude me - I think because I never got into the quantum theory stuff. I did okay in basic math, science, etc. It is certainly interesting, and I'll undoubtedly return to read it again and again, but for now, I gotta get onto something else. I do appreciate the effort that must have gone into a piece such as this, so hope I can devote more time and maybe input in the near future. Best wishes for happiness and peace. wrl	2004-05-28 18:56:01
Sunday Morning With a Used Car Salesman	Molly Johnson	Molly, welcome back - with this gem of a poem! Wonderful images - and message. The staccato lines rush the reader right to the point(s) beneath his shirt. [Pun intended] Some nice alliteration and assonance to dress this poem up to the hilt. I caught the embarrassing comparison of "baldness" to "bareness". Nice! Good work. I enjoyed it. Have fun shopping and "fast-fooding". :>) peace. wrl	2004-05-26 20:01:57
The Language of the Angels	Valene L Johnson	Valene, the angels have spoken - well and surely. Some very nice use of the poets' tools: alliteration, assonance (e.g. sky, cries, triumphant and freedom, steamed), and wonderful imagery, too. I thought maybe the switch from plural "tongues" in L2 to the singular "tongue of angels" in L22 might be incorrect, but feel that this is correct as it stands, because it is meant as the "language" of angels, not dissimilar to the "language" of any group. Hope I am reading correctly, but no big deal, for sure. Thanks for the enjoyable read. Peace. wrl	2004-05-26 19:52:05
there was another tree	zen sutherland	Zen, a powerful poem. I enjoyed reading this, and did so several times, hesitating to comment until now. Really wonderful imagery throughout. The poem is laden with short i's and "l" alliterations which is good; but, I wonder if at least some of the and's in S2 might be extinguished somehow. The more I read, the more they seemed to distract from the flow of the poem. The surprise ending really makes the poem with the absolute strength it displays in the extraordinary comparison. That would be my only suggestions. Thanks for posting. Peace. wrl	2004-05-26 19:37:03
For Whom The Young Bird Sings	Thomas Edward Wright	This is such a creatively peaceful piece, I was actually soothed from reading it. Thomas, you've caught the magic of this event magically. Wonderful images and the alliterations are exactly right, not over done. Nicely formed tercets, and the closing line really makes the poem with its switch to the day-to-day image of dropping gloves to listen to something really of importance to happiness and peace in the heart of all of us. [IMO] Thanks for this one. wrl [BTW: No suggestions] :>)	2004-05-26 19:25:31
The Color of Harmony	Mell W. Morris	Mell, the music in this is magnificent, as is the excellent interior rhymes of your enjambments. The alliterations and assonance are also superb. I did hesitate with the word "ails" for some reason. I wonder if "ills" might work better? Only a minor thought/suggestion. It is a great poem. Thanks - and, as always - peace. wrl	2004-05-26 19:15:13
Seedlings	Nancy Anne Korb	Dear Nancy "Aurora" Korb, I would say you have a definite talent for poetry. The rhythm speaks for itself, and your imagery and message are well expressed. There is some nice use of assonance and alliteration. I do think some of the rhymes appear just a wee bit forced, but that is overcome with time and patience. Please let us see more. I would suggest caution as to your other site that you mentioned. I have heard a few rumors, and actually participated there some. It is, if not totally, at least partially a scam, in my opinion. I really believe you will enjoy the input from this site much more after "meeting some of the talented and knowledgeable poets here. Only a suggestion, but give it a fair shot. Best wishes - and, peace. wrl	2004-05-26 18:55:58
Enchanted Stew	Edwin John Krizek	Edwin, quite a perspective on life - put in a blender and whipped all together. Interesting brew you've concocted here with its brief lines and many fine images. All the ingredients to keep a reader busy savoring this piece. Nice job. Write on. wrl	2004-05-25 22:23:18
Hush, The Young Bird Sings Once More	Joanne M Uppendahl	Joanne, yes Mary Oliver. I have several of her books, and really believe she is one of the best. You are really amazing, too. I find nothing but enjoyment in this as I find myself looking for that elusive songster in the branches. The waterfall simile was outstanding, as was the assonance of the o's. Then, a kind of personification of the bird at the end makes a magnificent closing. Great job. Peace. wrl ps: Not sure the colon is needed in S2's ending. [An afterthought]	2004-05-24 20:00:42
Ocean City Weekend	Edwin John Krizek	Ah yes, Edwin, the anticipation of winning at whatever game there is going, eh? Well said with some nice imagery - the weather setting a mood, the dream creating another, then the closing is excellent, expressing what all players feel [IMO]. I might make the pause between the tomorrows a little stronger with a hyphen or ellipsis. Other than that, I see nothing to suggest. Another day, another opportunity. Nice write. Peace. wrl	2004-05-23 20:13:03
Upon Making the Acquaintance of Death	Edwin John Krizek	Okay, Edwin, I'll take a stab at this one, having read it several times. Be content with today, enjoy what it brings, live each moment - for today IS eternity, and we are at its center right at this very moment. There is a very deep understanding of Eastern philosophy "spewing" from these lines. It is a very powerful poem with its brief line form and staccato sounds of the d's, t's and l's alliterations. The second stanza begins with a question to set the stage for understanding why we should enjoy the present, for death cares not about anything except its certainty. This is what I am getting from this piece, and hope I am not mis-reading your intent. If so, my apologies. I think the form and imagery is just what this subject needs, and will not go into any lengthy detailed, line-by-line analysis. It seems fine as is, although I'm a little leery of the last word being emphasized quite so much, maybe just an exclamation mark with the 1st letter capitalized? Only a thought. Will continue on the others soon. Peace. wrl	2004-05-23 19:40:55
Sisyphus' Epistle or The Humanist's Punishment	Edwin John Krizek	Edwin, I enjoyed this one the most of several of yours that I have read. I've hesitated to comment on the others for more study of them. This one contains metaphorical excellence, imagery, action, assonance, alliteration, etc. Although it is saddening, I found it an easy and enjoyable read. Thanks for submitting. The line breaks and punctuation are well done, and the staccato lines serve the purpose of moving the reader rapidly on this journey. I see nothing to suggest except maybe one comma at the beginning, after "Oh" to cause just the slightest pause in addressing the stone. Excellent work, poet. Peace. wrl.	2004-05-23 14:21:09
Skylark	marilyn terwilleger	Aloft in powered blue a melody to sing - [Should this be "powder blue" or "powdered blue". My only question. Other than that I see nothing to quibble about. It is a little different style from you IMO, but very nice and well constructed with beautiful rhyming and imagery. There is also some nice allits and assonance. Well done, Marilyn. Peace. wrl	2004-05-22 19:45:12
japanese verse 47 (Ava Jean)	Erzahl Leo M. Espino	Erzahl, I appreciate the sentiments shown by and through these lines, as I am sure the ladies do. However, I would think it a senryu, more than a haiku, due to the prominence of the human element instead of nature. It is well constructed and deserves considerable merit. Peace. wrl	2004-05-22 19:31:16
The Sequel to Changing With The Changes	Marcia McCaslin	Ah yes, Marcia. 'Tis a beauty, too, as was the one before it. We will all meet again some day is what holds us together - sane, for to lose one with never any hope of rejoining would be unbearable, I think. But yet, what choice is there? You have defined the journey we all take in metaphorical excellence, from the basics and through the seasons of the heart to the ending, or should I say, a new beginning as Spring blossoms forth. Super job. Peace. wrl	2004-05-09 17:06:49
LOVE	housam majid jarrar	I see you've submitted many in the past, but believe this is my first reading of your work, so I'll begin by saying, "Hi!" It seeks you but it can never be sought It free's you - [the apostrophe is not needed here, IMO.] yet it can never be bought what a splendid display of colors it can make you imagine and be destrought. - [sp. "distraught"] It steals all you visions - [...all your visions] and replaces them with a thought of only one thing and that thing is something that has never resently been brought - [sp. "recently"] Heaven and what could it bring you if you just simply hault. - [sp. "halt"] Imagine the possibilities if only someone research it - ["...researched it"?] or even taught the wonders of the heart that lies ahead. - ["that lie ahead" with period deleted to continue into next line?] For love is the most beautiful thing - ["for love..." if above is acceptable?] to resonate or just perfectly be said. - [Nice closing couplet on this stanza!] A beginning of a mission I say to you as it was never meant to end. love someone - [Capital L, to keep with prior format at beginning of sentences?] for life is too short to be envied or to try to comprehend. Some wonderful and thoughtful images and statements, and with the "polish" will be a much appreciated poetic sentiment to any one considering love. Thanks for posting, and hope I haven't been too harsh - only honest. Peace. wrl	2004-05-09 13:52:59
Suicide	Erzahl Leo M. Espino	Erzahl, quite a change of pace from your pen, I would say. Enjoyable, almost "Simic-like", but just a little bit too monotonous. Should I be brave enough to suggest the comparisons without all the "Like a"s? I believe it would be much more readable and effective that way, but that is only one opinion - and it's your poem. That is the only possible change I'd suggest. Otherwise, I enjoyed the content and that powerful closing line very much, even though it was pre-ordained from the title. Best wishes, and write on. Peace wrl	2004-05-09 13:37:29
Almost Prose (leaning)	Regis L Chapman	Reeg, it matters not from whence it came, it is very effective with its excellent imagery, its similes, and all the other tools you have injected into this. I breezed right along until the next to last line, and that for some reason caused me to hesitate, simply because of the word "then". It didn't seem to fit the flow. Wouldn't it work better to place "then" before "seeking"? Not another thing seemed out of sync. I loved the "hay"-"sages" simile. You mis-spelled "sitting" in that part. Also, the use of the periods for hesitation in "that.one.side. in my chair," segment was excellent and very effective. Thanks for posting this extemporaneous work. :>) Best wishes. wrl I wonder, is this due to a physical handicap, injury, or abnormality of the subject, if I might be so bold? Or, is this metaphor for the struggles and cross-currents we all face as we proceed - or is it both, maybe?	2004-05-08 20:45:38
Australia, My Home	Alexander Inman	Hey, for a 10-year-old, this is a great job. I would suggest only a couple changes, such as: Australia is famous for there are bushlands - [delete "there are" - "Australia is famous for bushlands"] I will never find a place like this - [Possibly use contraction "I'll never..." to shorten this a bit.] Ever again. - [...and add a 2nd "ever" for a better balance in line length and rhythm.] Alexander, these are only suggestions for consideration. I applaud your work, and encourage more. Thanks for getting on the wagon here at TPL.	2004-05-08 20:27:27
Morning	Mark Andrew Hislop	Great metaphor, Mark. I like it. Best line = "Grey lumps of pigeons". Nice assonance, consonance and alliteration considering the brevity of the piece. Nice write, and keep "stabbing" at it, Mark. :>) wrl	2004-05-08 20:17:28
untitled - from Nov 2003	Cara-Mae D. Hackett	Deeply philosophical stuff IMO, Cara-Mae. Reaching inside our human quality for reasons and explanations is a never-ending quest, is it not? Notwithstanding your notes, I think it would be more effective if the long lines were shortened somehow to fit the page. There must be a place for a couple line-breaks there somewhere. Your choice. :-) You have used alliteration and consonance very well in this, so not much need to change any wording, as far as I can see. The metaphors are numerous and powerful, as well. Well done, poet. their own bramd of tangible intangibility - [sp./typo - "brand"] like a cherished, tattered teddy bear, with no eyes - [I might delete the comma after "bear".] One other minor thing is I might check some of the capitalization, e.g. the 2 "By"s in S4. Thanks for posting this. wrl	2004-05-08 20:03:03
organ-i	Regis L Chapman	Wonderful job, Reeg. The melody of this display of thought and emotion is right "in tune" with its rhymes of no specific pattern [IMO], its outstanding active imagery. My only suggestion would be more question marks after the apparent end of some of the other questions, not just the last 2. I love the ending "hello". That really works well. Thanks for submitting this excellent poem. peace. wrl	2004-05-03 19:31:37
Down to the river	Mark Andrew Hislop	Mark, this is a miraculous piece, with a depth of vision not often seen. Did you study philosophy? I love the allits, the assonance and the sparkling imagery. The truncated lines and the interior rhymes are a very effective attention getter - saying, "Hey, look at me and REALLY think about what this poet is saying." I won't copy all the good stuff, just the things I think need some attention/change, so here they are: There, that should about do it! :>) Best wishes - and, of course, peace. wrl	2004-05-03 19:23:08
Blue Dragonfly - Revisited	Joanne M Uppendahl	Joanne, perfect descriptors of those moments. I have experienced similar ones in my yard. I loved the closing lines of S1, beautiful. Then the way you capture the darting of this amazing insect/carnivore as it goes after (maybe a mosquito?) its meal, making that a wondering moment for the observer and for this reader. One little thought: "in motionlessness hope"- [IMO, the "ness" is not needed here. It adds an unnecessary distraction, creating a noun where the adjective would suffice in modifying "hope". If the noun form is needed for rhythm, then maybe a comma or hyphen after it? But then, it doesn't connect (if it's supposed to) to the following line. Anyway, this section gave me pause, attempting to connect the thoughts/images. Maybe:(If you'll pardon my taking this liberty with your work.) graze my skin, I wonder if you divine another life-form watching you, [in] motionless, hoping you’ll stay a moment longer. How you gratify my splendor hunger! Just a suggestion for clarity. If that was not your intented meaning, then excuse my misinterprtation and boldness. Any way this is a pleasant scene. Thanks for submitting it. Write on, and best wishes. Wayne	2004-04-30 11:12:43
The Brew	Jessica Inman	Jessica, you needn't beg for mercy when you can pen a poem of this quality, regardless of age. This is the correct length for a sonnet, but not quite the correct rhyme scheme, so I'll call it a combination of miraculous couplets, beautifully constructed, rhymed, metered, and containing many other tools of the true poet, e.g. alliteration and assonance. Only one place did it seem to create a minor hesitation for me. I couldn't quite understand how a stench [smell] could shake the ground, but maybe I am being too realistic for this "witch's brew". :>) Write on, and WELCOME to TPL. Thanks, best wishes. Wayne	2004-04-27 20:09:58
ABC's of Life	Mick Fraser	Prosy maybe, but I can commend you for this post regardless. Really letting it out with power comes from "had to write" many times. I know - been there, done that. [No, not the drugs, but the "had to".] I'll not even attempt to edit a bit of it. It has rhythm, image strength AND emotion to spare. The truth sometimes makes the best poetry, even better than fantasy and dreams at times. I am sure there is a personal relationship that goes with this, and I hope they appreciate it as much as I did when reading it. Guess I'm rambling, so.... best wishes, Wayne	2004-04-26 21:44:34
Who Slew My Daffies?	marilyn terwilleger	Cute little Easter greeting, Marilyn - though sad because of the poor little daffies taking a hit from Jack Frost. That happens to ours quite often, too. In fact, I've seen them buried before with nearly a foot of snow. I like the brevity, but found myself wishing for more "soft" descriptors, maybe to ease the harshness of that late hit from Mr. Winter, but I guess that was the purpose of the staccato lines, etc. So, it does work in that way. When I think of "daffies", I guess I am craving the softness of spring. In other words, I'm not suggesting change for this, for it works as intended. I just want spring to arrive more quickly here, too. I hope your Easter was enjoyable - notwithstanding the poor "daffies". Nice job. Thanks for the greeting. Stay warm and peaceful. Wayne	2004-04-26 08:47:47
Poem Title	Poet Name	Critique Given by Wayne R. Leach	Critique Date

Displaying Critiques 101 to 150 out of 305 Total Critiques.
Click one of the following to display the: First 50 ... Next 50 ... Previous 50 ... Last 50 Critiques.

If you would like to view all of Wayne R. Leach's Poetry just Click Here.

Click HERE to return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!