DeniMari Z.'s E-Mail Address: writer356@hotmail.com

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Poem Title	Poet Name	Critique Given by DeniMari Z.	Critique Date
Memorial of Innocence	Mandie J Overocker	Dear Mandie, This is one of the saddest pieces I've ever read. Were these losses due to miscarriages? It is hard to distinguish because that is something you would have no control over. It's unclear to me as a reader, when you say "You had no voice", voice to stop a miscarriage is impossible. I too, lost a child in 1983, I was almost full term, and due to the placenta pulling off the doctors said there was little they could do. It was a heart breaking time in my life, and I was comforted by the fact that I had two healthy children at home to return to. I think of the little girl - who would be almost 22 now, and this poem took me there - to her. I'm very sorry for your losses - sincerely, DeniMari	2005-06-18 14:29:09
Falling From You	Rick Barnes	Dear Rick, The clear sentiments of lost love, come through in this poem. It's very touching, and sad with hopes of a reconciliation not in the immediate future. Your piece flows well, and I love the rhyming scheme of pace and embrace, that being my favorite line in this piece. The first stanza shows me, two people who were falling in love? that's how I percieved it. Then the relationship comparison - one thinking it was equal and the other drifting away from the relatioship. Nice job with this stanza - clear comprehendability with an impact of emotion to the reader! All in all this is an enjoyable read - that I'm glad you took the time to post. (Hoping the writer has moved on and is not heartbroken). Sincerely, DeniMari	2005-06-16 15:44:14
Contentment	Debbie Spicer	Dear Debbie, The happiness you are experiencing is contagious. This type of poem takes courage to post and express. I am happy for you, that you are ahead of the depression, that life is enjoyable again, no matter what the reason be. This poem is very inspiring to those with depression, those who may still think they will never find peace will see the light in your poem and have hope. Very nicely done, stay well, Sincerely, DeniMari	2005-06-14 13:28:20
The idea-hound	Mark Andrew Hislop	Dear Mark, I enjoyed reading your poem. You have a very clever imagination, the best thing a talented writer can be blessed with. It's really a story, in itself, and the imagery shows the reader everything that is transpiring from begining to end. This is very deep, and the message I get is someone not having any ideas of what to write - to something that could fill up a page. (Is that right?) - It bounds into the lightless cavern of the brain- your way of telling us that. I like your style of writing, you are very good at it. Thanks for posting. Sincerely, DeniMari	2005-06-11 14:53:58
Chains of Command	Latorial D. Faison	Dear Latorial, This is deep, and wonderfully stated, and the last verse, wraps up your poem perfectly. So many questions, no answers - we all are faced with the morose reality of our country, society and hands are tied. It seems to me corruption rules the roost, America this corporation is blindly going to get worse without a chance of getting better, and here we sit, the pions with no voice - to make sense of it all. Brilliant piece, I'm glad I read this one. DeniMari	2005-06-06 13:03:52
Mea Culpa	Dellena Rovito	Dear Dellena, You've managed to capture a world of emotions in this poem. Hatred to me is the deepest emotion to tangle with. The question is intriquing: If I'm always angry with you how do I get past resentment? Yes, how indeed. Anger can build and store up in our hearts and minds, and forgiveness can seem out of reach. But, yet we are told to get past the anger, and to forgive is divine. What about forgetting? That to me is the hardest part of this emotion. Sometimes we just can not forget things that others do to us - and the very memory of hurt - can pop up at any given moment - making us hate again. How true the line, one can't exist without sun's light - to have light is to live and breathe. Will world's darkness ever persist? Another intriguing question, and I'm thinking yes, it will. All in all I've enjoyed this read - from beginning imagery to the end - Thanks for sharing. Sincerely, DeniMari	2005-06-03 20:53:21
Sometimes	Kenneth R. Patton	Dear Kenneth, Hi, I can certainly appreciate this piece - and wanted to tell you so. It seems like when I want to write, have the time, energy and feeling to do so - nothing comes to mind. Then as I sleepily try to fall asleep, all of these things come to mind to write - but I feel to lazy to get up and do it. I enjoyed this short piece - I think everyone will. You might have included your note, as the ending to it. It works. Sincerely, DeniMari	2005-05-31 21:07:45
Tiny Tragedy	Nancy Ann Hemsworth	Dear Nancy, This poem is really cute. You have used a good rhyming scheme, easily comprehendable and fitting of the description you intend the reader to have. Moonlight moths on taffeta wings, a great line to start out with. There is alot of imagination put into these two verses - that bring the reader to an amusing end - the magical flight of the moth ended quickly, under the light. This was easy to read, and a pleasure also. Sincerely, DeniMari	2005-05-27 16:16:31
Gentle Touch	Claire H. Currier	Dear Claire, I love the idea in this piece, and being a firm believer in God and his love, this touched me as deeply inspirational. If only the world could know these words, rely on these beliefs - it's my opinion that we could have a more "gentler" world to live in. These medical occurences would take a toll on anyone and I truly praise modern technology with it's advancements on treatments that really help people now. Counting blessings is something I do on a daily basis, I imagine by this time in life I've learned that in doing so, I can afford myself those peaceful moments of thanks amidst the things no one would give thanks for. I'm glad I stopped to read this one, my best to you as always. Sincerely, DeniMari	2005-05-26 19:33:32
The Dance Of The Snowflakes	sheryl ann minter	Dear Sheryl Ann, You've posted this at an appropriate time for me, we had a snow storm yesterday and we're due more of the same in a few days. Winter is my favorite time of the year - and after reading this poem I love it even more. You have the most unique discriptives - titanium winter white - Picasso in shape - very good. This flows well for me, and is easily comprehendable. I didn't have to search for the meaning in this, making it all the more enjoyable to read. You've created a winter scene, in imagery and feelings - feeling the weather as we're exposed to it. I completely enjoyed this poem. Sincerely, DeniMari	2005-02-25 19:28:14
Paper Planes	Jesus Manuel Lopez	Dear Jesus, I firmly believe the war against illegal drugs will never be won in our lifetime. The addiction is too great, the accessability to easy and the will of those addicted to weak. This is an amazing poem, that pulls the reader in and has been expressed with loving sincerity. The loss of this young life touched you at a personal level and made you a stronger person in the process. I remember back in the 1980's hearing about this same sort of tragedy, people my age then, people I went to school with - hooked and dying for their drugs. Years later, it seems it's only gotten worse, and I shiver when I hear of how many young people are turning to this kind of life, when life offers so much more. Descriptives are good in this piece - Heroin white hands, bloodless - the picture clear of someone strapping their arm to find a vein and inject their drug. God bless you for remembering him through this poem. Sincerely, DeniMari	2005-02-23 18:49:18
Silver Storm	Nancy Ann Hemsworth	Dear Nancy Ann, This is such a pretty poem, made so by your choice of descriptives to bring a clear image to the reader. I love the line "in pretzeled stems of crakled glaze", intriquing line to describe the scenes of Winter. I was wishing there was more of this - both verses are imaginative and truly pay "homage" to Winter (one of my favorite times of the year. (We just had a small snowstorm here last night!) I enjoyed this poem tremendously - and hope to see more of your work here at TPL. Sincerely, DeniMari	2005-02-21 16:26:47
The Rose	marilyn terwilleger	Dear Marilyn, What a sad piece, but all too real in this world and the saddest part of it - is it could happen to anyone. I just saw a story recently about a woman from Calif. who retired to Las Vegas - gambled all of her savings away and was left homeless. Your intent on bringing this sad truth before the reader was done well. My heart sank as I read, realizing that there are so many who are homeless and the world isn't "big" enough to give them all a home. Their refuge in shelters is at the max, which states it's beyond a crisis point - but how does the world resolve this issue. I've no idea. I as a single parent barely keep the roof over my head and do whatever it takes to keep it above us. This was an emotional read. DeniMari	2005-02-21 13:23:34
These Americans	Latorial D. Faison	Dear Latorial, This is a powerful statement - of who you are - and what you believe in and it is beautifully written. These lunatics in Washington, are spending 40 million dollars on President Bushs' inaugural events..... what pray tell could possible cost so much money? The idea sickens me when I know how people struggle day to day to survive, and work one, two or more jobs just to make ends meet. How can these politicians justify that amount of money on a party event. Oh, I'm sincerely disgusted - and disappointed and feel your words. I fear for the children of tomorrow and how hard it is going to be. Keep up this great writing - the message is being heard! Sincerely, DeniMari	2005-01-13 20:38:23
Goldie Locks Bearing	James Edward Schanne	Dear James, This poem put a smile on my face. It's quite different than I remember the original tale - and you've sensously enhanced the story - to a more adult level. I never thought of Goldilocks as a nymph, but who am I to question anyone elses perception of her - I think this was absolutely delightful and a new twist on one of the all time favorites - My favorite line is "a taste that shudders lips to peck sassy", My son looks like that when he eats lemons, (yes,he really eats lemons, and loves vinegar - plain!) This piece is thought inspiring and once again you have created a pleasurable read. Sincerely, DeniMari	2005-01-11 21:50:30
When We Die	Paul R Lindenmeyer	Dear Paul, This poem especially touched my heart tonight. I have an older sister, but not that old, she's 55, a cardiac nurse who lives in Florida who is battling cancer. Anyway, she is normally very strong - and today she had a bone marrow test and said she absolutely panicked - and then cried - during the test for the shear reality of the end being in possible sight had consumed her. She's not critical yet, but is very sick on a daily basis. This poem - just jumped out at me - and at her experience today - She's not ready, and by the grace of God and a miracle I pray that she gets through this in peace. Sincerely, DeniMari	2005-01-10 21:01:28
Old Friend	Latorial D. Faison	Dear Latorial, Wow... absolutely wonderful - such a quiet sentiment that makes a strong impact on the reader. I hope I come to know you before we leave that it won't be somewhere between heaven or hell and my dreams that we learn to be civil, silly or resilient This stanza is powerful - full of passion and insight - almost fantasy like yet a real dream to hold in your heart. there's little time in life yet we make too much to hate and take too long to hasten to hills where faults are forgiven This is so true - we do make too much to hate - I see this happen everyday and it makes me wonder why people do not stop to count their blessings, and realize the bad comes with the good and to stop worrying about petty issues and be grateful for the life they were given. I like the ending - just a solemn statement - friendship - the kindred spirit that ties our hearts and souls together. Good writing! Sincerely, DeniMari	2005-01-03 20:42:12
I Remember Julenisse	Rick Barnes	Dear Rick, This is an incredibly superb write - my favorite part is: The stream is never Two moments the same And yet it always remains The same stream. - Very deep thought - and inspiring lines - I also like the message - not believing but still having faith intact - it's a little spiritual and touches me inside. My congrats to you - and also my thanks for being able to read this great poem. Sincerely, best wishes, DeniMari	2005-01-02 18:41:08
"What is a Tsunami?"	Latorial D. Faison	Dear Latorial, The true passion of a writer comes through in this poem - your empathetic nature towards those who faced this tragedy is 100% felt in the heart of the reader. Unfortunately, no warning, just an act of nature caused this to happen - and it is one of the most traumatic events I've ever heard of. God bless you - for keeping them in your thoughts and for writing such a touching piece. We're still waiting to here news of a local woman in our town - who works at a convience store and recently went to Shri Lanka to visit her family for the holidays. I saw and spoke to her a few times before her trip and she was going on an extended visit there - I just pray she is alright - she was so happy about the trip - I'm still praying that I see her back at work soon. Sincerely, DeniMari	2005-01-02 16:16:04
HIM	marilyn terwilleger	Dear Marilyn, Your piece is complete with divine spirit - and really touches my heart. I'm a believer - no tutored mind for me - this poem is exceptional based on content, structure and vivid imagery - Burdens of sin rape my soul, emotional rue taking it's toll - just a wonderful line - His work is in your writing - God Bless you for sharing this amazing piece. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-12-19 22:36:37
The Encompassing Compass	James Edward Schanne	Dear James, The first two stanzas had me thinking that this was touching on religion, then I decided perhaps not in reading the rest of your poem. I have to admit, you've got me wondering about this one. I couldn't quite get the gist of it - nothing against your writing - just the level of my awareness when it came to reading this. Right now I'm just the last two words of your poem, mind befuddled - I think you have touched on originality. Best to you. DeniMari	2004-12-16 21:09:58
Unknown	Latorial D. Faison	Hi Latorial! (Where have you been hiding?) I really enjoyed this poem. In your first verse where you say, we have too many people walking and talking inside of us - well - that's so true. Not only do we rely on our own resources, we keep advice from others stored and tap into it at will. I rely on spirit - to follow, to guide me through the real world - and I feel fortunate to know - that no one will ever really know everything I think. Your title is perfect - Unknown - simple yet compelling to the reader - to want to read more. Such is life, such a mystery - in between the dreams and reality and ego tripping - I like what you call it, Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-12-14 21:20:34
Sanity Claus	James Edward Schanne	Dear James, This is perfect for this time of year. I absolutely love it, especially the last two lines. I had to smile at those. "Someones made up everything I know". Wonderful line! In a unique way you have described this holiday season - the confusion we bring upon ourselves, suspicious season is great too! We find ourselves surrounded by people who act "suspiciously" different towards us than they have all year - they are actually being nice, and we have to wonder why. It's almost as if everyone has been given a "happy" shot to get them through to New year, and then it all changes in the blink of an eye. I work in a dept of over 40 women - and you would not believe some of things they say this time of year - it really does challenge my mental health. It makes me wonder how anyone can enjoy the holiday if they get so stressed out by the whole thing - stress has never made me very "Merry". Best of luck with this and have a happy holiday! Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-12-12 09:36:28
Stripping Fall	James Edward Schanne	Dear James, This is another good poem, with very "new" descriptives that have captured my imagination. Voyeuristic gaze falls out the window hitting leaves disembarking naked trees vision climbs the limbs of descent which sow shivers of branching research in the breeze - I can picture someone staring out at this scene, absorbing the moment in time as if never done before. Copper rain is definitely a new idea. One thing about your writing that still amazes me every time I read one is the way you sum them up with the last two lines. There is always a message and that's where you let us know - very original idea. I really enjoy your work - and I hope to keep reading more of your poems here. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-12-05 21:09:19
In my mind's eye.	Keith Robson	Dear Keith, The magic of words, artfully arranged have created a breathtaking read. I can't find anything wrong in this poem. It stands on it's own - and I enjoyed it immensely. Such vivid images, my favorite, (the sa a silver lane), and a good rhyming scheme all pull together a mellow and serene piece. If you can envision such beauty and then with this feeling put in down on paper you have achieved a talent that only some wish for. Good luck with this. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-11-30 19:30:12
Dividing Factors	James Edward Schanne	This poem is written with a morbid tone about it. Perhaps a funeral? All of the elements are there. Tears, a setting of being outside, grief, heavy hearts, immense holes.... etc. I have to say this is intriguing and the visuals are done very well. I can see this, transpiring in front of me and that is the best a poem can do for the reader. I did hesitate on the title of it, dividing factors - that message still escapes me. Only one error (a typo) breathing breath? but none the less doesn't take away from the message in a very surreal piece. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-11-30 19:25:59
Arioso	Rick Barnes	Dear Rick, Sorry I missed this poem early, it's wonderful. The title is appealing and the verse content is deep. It has a depressed tone about it, a search for something that you want to find you. A private conversation with God that has not been answered yet? It's the message I get from reading this. I too have felt like this and can relate to your words. I may not have howled, but I've gotten close to that where the soul cries up towards heaven for an answer. Your second verse is very compelling, very poignant and awe inspiring. I'm very impressed with this poem and wish you the best with it. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-11-30 19:21:20
All Things Pass	Kenneth R. Patton	Dear Ken, I completely enjoyed this poem. The exposure to his music and life, or perhaps over exposure is what I believe makes us feel like we did know them. I grew up with the Beatles, remember watching them on the Ed Sullivan show as a little girl. I never saw the concert you mention but I'm sure it was awesome. The message is clear where you compare yourself to him, searching which adds sadness to this poem. I often feel this way when I see John Lennons son (and thank God the courts are still holding his killer), because that was another tragic affair. You have wonderful visuals in this poem, written with a few short lines, and easy comprehension lends an Earth feel to this poem. As far as a tribute to your father I'm sure you have countless ideas but haven't found one yet that is the most pleasing to you. Very good poem in my book! Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-11-29 22:50:46
Electrifying Remembrance of "Don't do that!"	Paul R Lindenmeyer	Dear Paul, Ouch, that hurt! I know of others this has happened to, without permanent damage thank God. I enjoyed this poem. The defiance of the 4 year old as they can be at that age is clear in this piece. Those wall outlets hold so much curiousity to kids - I had to keep mine away from them too. I have a son that kept going at them with a pencil - so I covered them with those plug covers and he took his pencil and drew a mural on my wall. Your poem brought that memory back to me and I thank you. My son is 26 now. This was a fun piece to read. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-11-27 23:46:26
Be There	Regis L Chapman	Hey Regis, I have to ask, I'm sorry - but did you really mean to write - where you hide your feces? Of course you did, and although I personally know your true talents - this one kind of threw me off a bit. I'm not quite sure - who the questions are being posed to, is it to the higher power? I agree with your notes, it is a bit complex, perhaps that's why I got a bit fuzzy with it. be there for me I have pain yet I live my arms for cages Your arms to hold or trap something or someone in, to keep for awhile? (Guessing) I see a constant in this piece, "Be there", again I'm not sure to what you are addressing. Before I do any more damage, let me just say - I've read other pieces of yours - with delight, this one was a little less comprehendable to me. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-11-24 22:51:05
FRACTURED FREEDOM	Mark D. Kilburn	Dear Mark, This is a very thought inspiring poem. You have crafted each verse well, stating opinions that can be believable to some and to others not. I particularly enjoyed the last three verses - feeling and agreeing with what you have written. We all have to conform to something - otherwise I believe we would walk the earth in a complete unaware state of mind. To me this was the most powerful line in your poem: To believe heavenly rewards are earned and not learned is to be blind to all of nature. I think you have done a great job on this piece. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-11-20 01:40:01
The Clock	Patricia Gibson-Williams	Dear Patricia, I like the structure on this piece, it helps to enhance the mood in this piece. The regrets in life are pointed out - things that should have/could have been done but weren't. It's the main message and there's an undertone of sadness along with the regrets. This is a fresh line - filling a pelvic paradise with promise - I also liked how you reference the clock through the poem - pointing a finger at time - how it passes without realizing some of the dreams we dare to dream. The only thing I would change is in your first verse - changing wonders - wanders - would sound better to me. I enjoyed your poem. Best of luck, Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-11-13 20:01:42
Whispers (haiku)	marilyn terwilleger	Dear Marilyn, Hi, this is such a nice poem. Curtained night whispers conger up the evening, dimly lit lamps and soft conversations between people. A scene properly set for the calm before the new day of activity, laughter and life. These are interactions that do lift us - send us what we need - "soul" food, and parts of life that are the best worth living. I'm impressed! Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-11-12 19:36:34
The Cabin	marilyn terwilleger	Dear Marilyn, This month is starting out fantastic and you've done an amazing job with this poem. I absolutely love the whole poem from start to finish. Such beautiful images that you give the reader, very inspiring. Of course - there's nothing I would change in this poem. I was removed to a quiet place, to the woods, to seeing the sunbeams hovering above the floor (great line!) seeing them actually shake. This could be the beginning of a wonderful story - do you have more? I like how you refer to the woods as persistant - works very well, I appreciate the style in which all of it is clear and comprehendable to everyone that reads it. The ending has a sad tone to it - an eerie question - that completes this piece and compliments the story. I wish you all the best with this one - it gets an "A" in my book. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-11-09 02:31:33
Lunar Longing	Joanne M Uppendahl	Dear Joanne, What a wonderful display of talent and imagination. This was really fun to read, it was light, catchy and touched on a topic that is new - warm and brought a smile to my face. Descriptives of the planets interactions are good, the last line of your poem is my favorite - in reference to the moon making lovers sigh. This little treck into outer space was a refreshing escape for me. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-11-08 19:30:42
Blood and roses.	Keith Robson	Dear Keith, You have written a very poignant piece - war is futile in my opinion, and no one ever seems to come out the winner. I like the ideation of the rose - the visual of it raising it's head - it's significance beauty among nothing else. I like how you associated the rose with compassion - a lacking quality in our world, more and more. I've come to the conclusion that the majority of todays people have omitted compassion from their vocabulary and live numb to some of the tragic parts of life we all know exist. This was a good poem. I'm glad I took the opportunity to read it. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-11-07 19:18:36
Weathering	Regis L Chapman	Dear Regis, My first thought is that this poem runs "deeper" than my imagination dares to go. Sometimes, when that happens the writers intent escapes me - but I take that as the message going over my head, not the writers lack in any way. The emotions this piece brought up in me were - anxious - almost unrequited love/rejection but I could be way off here. Let's see if I can work this one out - visuals create a wonderful image - especially with "I breath in and out, hot with flame" - "into cracks without fame", into others lives without meaning? (Just guessing here). "Rolling on, time settles like fog", great line - very fresh idea! I've always admired your poetry here, you are among one of my favorites - since I've been working with this site off and on for almost 4 years now. There is nothing to change - or disturb in your poem - I did enjoy it. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-11-05 23:00:21
Good-Bye	Debbie Spicer	Dear Debbie, Hi, I've just gone through a break-up, a three year relationship so I feel confident about responding to this poem. Your poem, is everything I feel right now - especially the last two lines. I'd give anything to turn back, to resolve some of our issues, to appeciate what I had in front of me instead of finding reasons why it wasn't working out. I just lived this poem last week - him turning away - the tears I tried to hold back, that awful numbing sensation and restless nights since then and feeling exactly what you describe " my inner being falling apart." I'm working on it all - I'm keeping myself as busy as possible - because I don't want to fall apart. I just want my honey back. This was a good read - uncomplicated wording that lets the reader understand the emotion of writer. Good luck, with everything. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-11-01 16:33:24
The Door	marilyn terwilleger	Dear Marilyn, This is such a sad poem. The loss is immensely felt through each line. The ending line is what brings tears to my eyes, outlandish sorrow. No one should ever have to feel such a hurt, yet we all have to at one time or another. I can feel that this was the greatest love of your life. You must have so many memories, yet those are not enough because "warmth no longer caresses you", your pain is valid, your heart still heavy from the loss. I can relate to this piece - because I'm feeling outlandish sorrow right now. A three year relationship I was in just ended this week, and I am trying to pull it all together. It's hard, so many emotions to feel. Anger, frustration, hurting, sorrow, loneliness - I could go on and on but I know you know what I mean. This poem was a wonderful read, even tho it touches on such a heartbreaking fact of life. Good luck. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-10-30 02:04:35
Circumstand	Regis L Chapman	Dear Regis, I have never lived at a temple, but somewhere in my minds eye I see these places - as if I've been there, a place like it. Your words bring out the most visual pictures along with the feelings befitting them. I really enjoyed your poem, and I've missed your posts here at TPL. I like how you start with I alone stand, then gradually go into verse. I like the idea of separating the two - it reads well. Some of my favorite parts in this piece which I find quiet unique are: I walk a line, maintained by slyness - the reader raises their eyebrows here - another great visual. Quiet sleeps in the trees, brings about a feeling of peace. The ending is surreal - in such a place I take your hand - you and I connect in this place and it feels right. Great job as always Regis, Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-10-29 22:41:42
Five loves	Mark Andrew Hislop	Dear Mark, I absolutely adored this poem - this not quite tragic but true account of past loves. I can appreciate all sentiments and emotions that you've conveyed in this piece. Your words run flawless from beginning to end and create a story to follow that is endearing. When wanting to read more, it ended. My own life has me relating to this poem, also. You see, after two marriages and a few relationships in between, I just became single again (at 48???? ugh) yesterday. After three years it's over Again, it’s that first love that with a crush of chest each breath is pain each step shatters your own silence. Yes, that was love - These words describe me today - not my first love but love anyway. Knowing there are no guarantees with other people, especially those you love I wonder why we continue to set our selves up for disappointments like these. Oh, my mother was right, I should have become a nun. You've have done a fantastic bit of work with this poem and it's my fav this month so far. Best to you, Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-10-27 17:14:49
Amethystine Mists	Jana Buck Hanks	Dear Jana, I never had the pleasure of reading this the first time - but can I say "Wow". This is absolutely beautiful. It just flows and creates such an amazing picture in front of the readers eyes. I was anticipating each new verse - with such a soft decadence and lullyby lilt to them. Verses #5 and #6 are my favorites in this poem. I particularly enjoyed: sensually swaddled am I by amazing amethystine mists in my purple sojourn across the sky of pitch-black night infinate cloudland whispers of the spectrum reflecting other dreamers cuddled waiting for their next re-birth The whole peace had a calming affect on me. It is completely inspirational and soothing to the reader. Wow - Again!!! Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-10-20 00:00:22
Dying to Stay Alive	Mandie J Overocker	Dear Amanda, You've come to the right place - there are so many wonderful people here and I know this type of encouragement will be beneficial to you. I wish there were a pill we could take - to erase unpleasant memories from our past. Unfortunately, we don't so we through efforts like this - form a healing plan for ourselves - and writing is one of the best outlets. We have to get it out of our systems otherwise we will be spoiled for life. We can't let those who abused us have the upper hand anymore. Now we are in control and have to let go of the haunting ghosts that were responsible for our pain. This is an easy to read and comprehendable piece. You have relayed the fears well, the emotions and depth of the anguish it has caused you. You are looking it straight in the eye now - and saying you have had enough. One thing that has held me up is my religion. God made us, he loves us, he watched us being formed in our mothers stomachs. He laid out a plan - and he wants us to heal and live the contented life we deserve. We are 100% good no matter what happened to us - and if you keep up at the pace you are going - I think you will heal and life will be yours for the taking. Good luck Amanda, sincerely, DeniMari	2004-10-19 23:50:53
Raw Remains	Nancy Ann Hemsworth	Dear Nancy Ann, Hi, I enjoyed this write. "Would haves and could haves", are the epitamy of regrets in life. Unfortunately, life circumstances play a big role in what we do - the choices we make and the way we respond to everything in front of us. I too have regrets - for the plan I formulated for my life at 18 never transpired. I had so much spunk and energy then and I knew exactly what I wanted. Three children, two marriages and alot of heartache between has made me realize how short life really is. I have empathy for you and your mother. I did note a few typos - but that's to be expected now and then without an edit function. I'm sorry for the loss of your mother, and the sadness her regrets have imparted onto you. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-10-19 18:17:58
Squaw (revised and lenghtened)	timothy joseph canezaro	Dear Timothy, I have read this poem several times - and several times I have gotten confused by this particular poem. It is lengthy - and sends out eons of messages throughout the poem that I can't get the exact message you are trying to convey. There are alot of emotions expressed - mostly those of a negative nature and then of warnings from ancient spirits - but then I get tripped up with the ending, with the Asian girl and the death of Super Man. I realize only the writer himself can understand what is written and what is to be read between the lines, and I wish I had been able to get a better grasp of this piece. Good luck, DeniMari	2004-10-18 19:14:22
A Beam of Life	Debbie Spicer	Dear Debbie, I like the whole concept of this poem. I've related to this poem in regards to my job. I work for a large corporation where you seldom see smiles during the day, which is something I've yet to get used to. A smiling face there is rare as is anyone acknowlging your presence. I've walked passed hundreds who just walk on without even speaking a mere hello which makes that atmosphere almost seem robotic to me. Perhaps like your poem states, they are too occupied to offer a smile. I hate to think the worlds population, has become too self involved, too stressed or too busy to extend just a smile to someone else. I'm hoping that a lot of people get to read this poem - and maybe some of the "stone faces" out there in the world will smile - maybe. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-10-18 19:07:18
Your Rainbow	Primrose Maclean	Dear Primrose, I completely enjoyed this poem. It's natural earthy tone blended with good imagery makes it unique. This girl is willing to experience life - and I especially like the last line in the first verse. My hair flat on my head with fallen raindrops - (no fussy woman here)- just a light spirit that has found pleasure in this act. We mostly think of children doing these kinds of things - stomping in puddles - but - why should they have all the fun? Your Rainbow - is a perfect title - and I wonder if you are referring to a higher power here. Just a thought. The second verse is just as appealing - creating a wonderful view for the reader - drops of water bouncing off my open lips. This is very good. Sounds like something I should try - the next time it rains. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-10-18 12:23:27
Mantles	Andrea M. Taylor	Dear Andrea, Hi - I have to say I really like this. The imagery is very good describing the season we're in - and my favorite Autumn. With imagination the reader can see the first line - leaf laden blankets - stretched out across the grass and gathered at streets curbside. Battened hatches works well in describing "closing up shop for summer", then the cover of winter a nice "warm" quilt. It has an endearing tone to it - and a very peaceful tone. I have no suggestions on improvement - it is wonderful just the way it was written. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-10-16 00:38:08
Frozen no more	Nancy T Bindhammer	Dear Nancy, There is so much desperation in this poem. I can feel the anger spilling out in each verse - the strong will of the writer to break the pattern, once and for all and find comfort away from these troubling issues. The emotional turmoil is felt, the anguish seem immense at a level that I could never comprehend. I am sad after reading this piece and I hope and pray the victim in this poem rewards themselves with a clear view of a brighter future. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-10-12 20:05:30
MY THOUGHTS ON POLITICS	TJ Daniels	Dear Daniel, I really like the "who's pointing the finger at who" concept of this poem. In just a few lines, you send a huge message which takes a quality of talent that I can appreciate. Your poem is true and teters on the humourous side as well. I love the ending - he lies, simple but projects the message immensely. I enjoyed your poem, very well done. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-10-12 00:59:20
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