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Poem Title	Poet Name	Critique Given by Lora Silvey	Critique Date
Night of the Black Dog - Paradelle(Dark/Halloween)	Mary J Coffman	Mary, Sorry it took so long for me to get around to reviewing this one for you. What a unique and intrigueing structure, form. Old English verbiage coupled with old English (Elizbethan) style is so refreshing even if the context is spooky as well it should be for which it was penned. I could hear the lead speak and the chorus behind follow with the same line (old theatre), LOL, this is just great and so very different. Thank you so much for this delightful treat, it sings and vibrates. Also, thanks for the little history lesson in notes. Kudos Best always, Lora	2005-09-28 20:37:14
Upon the Back of Dragonfly	Mary J Coffman	Mary, I found this offering to be well structured with an easy flow. Your rhyme and cadance are good and make it a most enjoyable read. I've to pick a favorite line but can not, it is all to my fancy and one would be nothing without the other. Dragonflies are fascinating creatures and wouldn't it be awesome if we could take rides on their backs.......ah, a place of serenity and peace-is that not something we all hunger for. Thank you for the respite, a chance to put away adult worries and duties to be free just for the few moments and to become a part of your well penned poem. Lora	2005-09-28 14:03:55
Rumination on Love #1	Jillian K Sorenson	Jillian, I particularly enjoyed the well structured easy flowing offering. I could visiualize the counter, the perfumes, smell the scents and see the players. Yes, isn't it a shame that the real scents of life aren't in bottles but then who'd wear them willingly. I also prefer the fairy tale ending but all too often the prince does turn into a toad, *smile* Thanks for a delightful read that leaves something to ponder. Lora	2005-09-28 13:58:21
Another War	marilyn terwilleger	Oh Marilyn, How this echo's what our men must go through. Your husband Korea, mine Nam and neither to my accoutn are guilty of murder for they did as ordered, it is not man's call what their crime but the Divine's call and these men punish themselves more than any can, even in their request for forgiveness. Excellent structure and the flow moves the reader on smoothly. Plain simple verbiage add power and clarity to this writing. I especially like the personal touch of conversation your subject has with those that are unseen. Great job, good read and timely with piece for we will have many more men now going through the night terrors of a new war once they return home. Kudos Lora	2005-09-25 17:53:27
Senyru (train watcher)	Joanne M Uppendahl	Joanne, I've struggled with this one and don't know quite why, perhaps I'm just overly scattered of late. I enjoyed it and remembered my childhood fascination with trains. I walk between tracks on gray gravel, leaden clouds return freight train’s roar [yes, the heavy clouds left by the trains not only return their roar but also their scent....both to linger in your mind] Death-dealing rumbles, dangerous as steel stallions who run in darkness [yum, you can just feel the earth shake and sense the power/danger of these steel stallions as they race through the darkness, even if unseen-their presence is felt, their approach something to behold] I curb my letdown, perhaps around the next curve new trains will greet me [living on the edge, seeking something new, unseen yet familiar--ever searching for that which is missing...only you know what it is and only you will recognize it.] Such power, strength and yet a quite lonliness in the middle of all the thunder. Very deep. my warmest always, Lora	2005-09-22 22:35:33
With Leaves Stirring	Mell W. Morris	Ah Mell, What a wonderful treat you have given us in the well executed offering. Of course as always your structure, verbiage and rhythm is impeccable. What glorious pictures you paint for us of the desert and all it's offerings. I so miss being able to ride out into the canyons and arroyos of the high desert, to view it's colors and smell sage, to hear the rustle of the grass and feel the wind on my face. You have given this to this reader with this poem and it has been well enjoyed. Thank you so much for this respite. Lora	2005-09-22 22:26:52
Stars	Dellena Rovito	Dellena, What a wonderful tribute to fabulous people. I also, as a child used to watch mesmerized as Fred and Ginger glided across the small screen in our living room.....in black and white..although in my mind they already where in techni-color...*smile*. Not only have you paid such a wonderful tribute you have coaxed memories to the fore of a time when life, entertainment and taste were way different then today. Thank you for this journey into the past, the present and hopefully the future......lest they be forgotten. Lora	2005-09-22 12:06:34
Time Ends	marilyn terwilleger	Marilyn, Spoken words the count it right on however, sylable break down does put off the count. I've been told that the count can very if the word needed would effect the message/intent that it is alright. I find that I also tend to write the cinquian by the way they sound rather than actual grammatical sylable breaks.....so---bravo, well done, your message is clear and well understood from this reader. Lora	2005-09-19 18:12:40
Senyru 157	Michael J. Cluff	Michael, Wonderfully clever, this well structured senyru is a delight with it's odious meaning.....I feel guilty for dnjoying such dark humor, but sense that in some way poetic justice is being served here. Impeccable. Lora	2005-09-19 15:04:15
A Scouse Haiku	stephen g skipper	Stephen, Well the count for a haiku is correct, and you have mentioned nature. I did smile, because the honesty of your statement, sort of like "I guess I'll go out to the garden and eat worms" effect, however I must say that this strikes me as a cross between asynru (about people) and haiku (about nature)...well, done, perhaps we will have a new poetic form. Gives me something to think about and possibly try, mind make over time for me. Thanks for giving me some inspiration. I like it! Lora	2005-09-19 14:53:41
love	charles r pitts	Charles, Definitely very deep and very honest. You have captured the essence of failed relationships and the awakening of potential for new relationship in this well structured well crafted offering. The graphic verbiage clearly states what you want said and leads your reader easily through this writing. Thank you for this study in human nature and love-lost and found. Lora	2005-09-16 22:19:07
Last Dream	Rick Barnes	Gee Rick, Your structure is good, the words flow easily, as you lead your reader through this heart wrenching odyssey. I could visualize each description and feel the agony with each breath and word read. This is the type of poem that makes one want to reach out and touch the authors hand and say it’s alright, we are here for you knowing that nothing will ease this pain, only time can make it easier to live with. Lora	2005-09-16 22:18:32
New Orleans, Long After Katrina	Karen Ann Jacobs	Karen, This is such a hopeful peice, it's structure good, the verbiage flows easily leading your reader on into the depths of your work. The thoughts in this are uplifting, would it that all could view this event as through your eyes and pen. Thank you so much for offerring a different take on the situation, one that lends to the forward and not being conquered by natures events. Lora	2005-09-16 12:20:04
Wrath	marilyn terwilleger	Marilyn, Well it's late and I just read this one. Wow, this is really something. Ok, I know we're suppose to be more professional but this is really something, I'm a little short on words this evening. Anyway, your structure is good naturally, and the piece flows easily. Each line draws your reader more and more into the story, like getting caught up in a whirl wind. The verbiage paints graphic pictures or the storm, the wrath, the devestation and havoc with apt discrition. Excellent, well done, kudos my friend. This goes on my list. Lora	2005-09-12 23:17:54
Crucible of the Towers	Paul R Lindenmeyer	Paul, Absolutely perfect, I dont' care if we aren't suppose to say that in a good critique for it is the truth in this case. Well structured, easy flow of words and the visual packs a punch. You have so aptly described the events and the feelings of 911, almost as if you were the hero rushing in to rescue the helpless victims of the twin towers, this is so unbelieveably graphic in it's simplicity.....Thank you so much for the memoriam, let none of us forget the events, the heros or the victims. Lora	2005-09-10 23:03:27
Ode To A Younger Me	stephen g skipper	Stephen, I take this as free form although from my recent learning it possibly could be considered an espistle. At any rate, it was an easy ready and for me quite timely, things that sometimes in our busy day to day lives we forget or just overlook and all good points that we should try to keep formost in our minds and actions. This comes off well as good advice and not preachy.......thanks for this offering. Lora	2005-09-10 22:57:25
hope	charles r pitts	Charles, Very well crafted perfect count haiku, this form seems suited to you. You didn't need a title, your haiku says it all and very well......upon contemplation it actually says so much more. However, I like you have been know to title my haikus even though I've been told that "old school" says we arent' suppose to title them *smile*. I really liked this one only wish I had written it. Lora	2005-09-10 22:43:51
truth	charles r pitts	Charles, Another perfectly counted cinquian, this truly must be your forte for you have mastered it. Such dark truthful words that speak volumns, so eloquent in it's simplicity. Thank you. Lora	2005-09-10 22:31:00
betrayal	charles r pitts	Charles, Your cinquian is in perfect count, the philosphical meaning brought home so clearly by your first and last stanzas, of course the beginning and end would be empty without the meat in the middle. Thank you for this deep and thought provoking cinquian. Lora	2005-09-10 22:28:46
Senyru 818	Michael J. Cluff	Michael, Perfectly accurate count and I especially like the way you have started each stanza with a color. Wow, what an explosion of color and truth, the way our lives are....so much said in so few words. Thank you for this offering. Lora	2005-09-10 22:25:56
Ah, The Blame Game	Kenneth R. Patton	Kenneth, Good structuring and flow of words. Your poem puts things into prospective as they are, your words painting the picture clearly. I especially like the way you closed, I hadn't heard that saying in a long time and it truly is a good one to remember. Thank you so much for writing this, I'm sure it reflects sentiments that many of us have and have not voiced, bravo. Kudos! Lora	2005-09-10 22:23:38
Clearing Skies	Dellena Rovito	Dellena, This is well structured, yeh I know we all say that but it is and it flows easily. I think the visiual presentation adds greatly to the overall reading. Now down to the context, darn girl you took me back to a place in time where I'm standing there watching the sky as it parades it's changes and I can smell the crispness in the air. One can luxuriate in that atmosphere but it does bring mixed emotions, a little exillerating, a little sadness and a little restlessness......and I long for those days just for a moment. Thank you for such a visual journey back into a memory. Lora	2005-09-10 22:01:42
Unexpectedly Stone	Joanne M Uppendahl	Joanne, I as always I was not disappointed with this read. Unexpectedly Stone [inviting title] I'm so unexpectedly stone. And the thing is no one knows. No one will ever know-- most emotions live in my bones. Until your words or a poem moves me and tears come spilling to the fringes of my lower lids. [yes, we become stone, thought immune to all that happens about us, in complete control until the moment a line from a poem, a reframe from a song, a certain melody, whiff of a scent or the just the feel of the air or the rustle of leaves and the moisture appears, but no one sees and no one knows that part, no one is allowed that close] I'm so surprisingly alone. And the thing is no one knows. No one will ever know-- except when I stop on my road, and nothing more comes spilling to the bounds of my life. [this speaks so much for it’s self it is difficult to express in any other terms, alone, not empty or void but alone and as it is in some things that is the only way it can be, some times alone is all there is and some journeys we have to do that way but it does leave us so alone even with the voices all around, even when surrounded by friends and family for no one can truly feel what we feel and our path has to be walked alone, this perhaps is one of the most difficult things there is to try to explain to someone so that they really understand and understand without making a judgment call] I'm so completely unknown. And the thing is no one knows. No one will ever know-- even you, reading this now, because you won’t believe what comes spilling to the end of this poem. [ah, the fini’ of it all, the crux’s of self, no matter how hard one tries there will always be that part that one will not share, can not share, mustn’t share, the one part that is self, this saddens us for if only it were possible to completely share that which is self yet we know that until we mingle with the light that it will not come to pass, this was pre-ordained and the way it has to be.] Remember that even stone has wondrous properties and hold it’s own beauty. It has color, texture, strength that endures through out time and holds the stories of all that has gone on before it and comes after. On the surface the stone may look just like any other stone, pick it up, hold it, feel it’s coolness warm to touch, hear it’s song for all things have a song, just listen..it is of the cosmos, of all things created. My warmest always Lora	2005-09-10 21:53:27
How Boring	Medard Louis Lefevre Jr.	Medard, The Kyrielle, derived from a medieval French troubadour verse pattern, 4-line stanzas, the first 3 lines are iambic tetrameter, the 4th line, a refrain, is repeated in each verse seems to be the pattern of your poem. Well done. Your verbiage paints vivid images as you walk us through time, through man’s folly and foolish beliefs when in the end there is only one God, one truth, one love and one grace should we be so worthy. Thank you for such a well thought our and crafted offering. Bravisimo’, excellante’ . Lora	2005-09-10 21:51:05
I Am Fred Chapter V	marilyn terwilleger	Ah Marilyn, Toothache and all and you still came up with this delightful epoloque, I love it. It is well structured and the easy flow makes it a pleasant read. Your verbiage is colorful and you drew me in with your conversatons. Thank you for the respite I so desperately needed this evening. I will now have to go in search of it's precursors, I can't wait for the sequel. Hope your on the mend. God Bless. Lora	2005-09-09 00:31:27
Your Face	marilyn terwilleger	Marilyn Your cinquain is of proper count, I take in line 3 you are counting look-ed as two instead of how it sounds. Very romantic, sentimental and sad, a drifting into memory. This runs a whole gamut of emotions for me, the kind of emotions that it take many years to acquire with one person. I believe you have hit your mark with this one. While I understand that cinquain are normally supposed to be about an object instead of an emotion I applaud you for this is great. (I too don’t follow all the rules *smile*) Kudos. Lora	2005-08-31 22:53:17
Self-portrait of someone else	Mark Andrew Hislop	Mark, I'm probably way off on this one but here goes. To me this speaks of one who is not self assurded, always questioning their own decissions, their own brain storms, strengths and creativity. It gives me the feeling that the person annalyzes everything to death instead of just letting it be. Your verbiage conveys deep conflicting emotions for me, and in the end I come away with "business as usual" nothing settled. You have presented a well crafted read with which although has an easy flow the depth of the meanings here require some astute pondering. Thank you for this offering. Lora	2005-08-29 21:53:47
Wow poet this is powerful	Mark Andrew Hislop	Mark, LOL, I get it I think, you are tired of the same old reteric, but sometimes if it's true why not state it. It does give a person the feeling that the critiquer did not really read the poem and is just giving a generic critique. Sometimes there is nothing to suggest, so I guess what I'm saying all the above aply to your poem and then some. Thank you for a wake up call, perhaps I and others have fallen into a routine, I will be paying closer attention. Lora	2005-08-29 21:47:48
Tomorrow's Forecast	Rick Barnes	Rick, This is a delightful read. Good structured followed with an easy flow of words dances your reader right through to the end. Your cadance and the rhyme are perfect. OK, now I know these are alot of the words that one probably shouldn't use when critiqueing a poem but your poem put me in such an up mood....your subject reminds me of my oldest daughter and I had to chuckle for I never knew how the wind would blow with her, whether it was going to be stormy or a clear sunny day. Thank you for such an uplift with this winner. Lora PS, one suggestion IMO, I loose the "and" at the beginning of line 2, it would keep it more in line with the rest of your writing. Great work, bravo	2005-08-28 17:26:18
Don't Get Around Much Any More	Mell W. Morris	Mell, Wow! This is just so perfect for my evening read. It is not only perfectly structured and flows easily but your verbiage can not be excelled.. I can not pick out one particular line that I like, one would be nothing without the others. Yes, I'm a blues and jazz fan so I was right there with you. Your title drew me in……..but when I hit the “I relish the balm of a Coltrane sax collecting shadows of the evening.” I was definitely hooked. Oh yes, I can hear B.B. and Lena, been way too long since I’ve had the opportunity to sit and just take it in, the very essence of real life no facades. I have to tell you we were fortunate enough to go to John Lee’s (Hooker) last live performance. What a treat. However, for me, I’m an Etta James fan. Your poem transported me to another time, a place where people are people, where it isn’t a crime to. Your poem set a fire in my vanes, just wish it were possible to be there but you’ve given me the next best thing, I got to be there in my mind. Days like today when the body fights every intention are so difficult, only the memories and dreams at times seem to be left. You are so gifted, this is truly a winner and I thank you so much for sharing this with us. Now I will re-read your poem and return to the place your words have woven for me. Lora PS Somtimes B.B. still does the blues/jazz in the park thing here.	2005-08-26 22:48:11
We Love Yet	Kenneth R. Patton	Kenneth, Your title is perfect, it certainly draws your reader in. Our tears mingled caught in a jar then hung around our necks Each in an amulet [How very romantic, this tugs at the heart strings and on the real level what a wonderful way to keep close an essence of the one you love.] Our fears mingled sent from afar then flung from our lives …and we love yet [This definitly speaks of a love that will last through out time, an ageless love that will endure any and all things placed in it's way. It gave me goosebumps. This is the love that romantics dream of.] Your poem is well crafted, good structure and word flow, one that demands to be read and re-read. Thank you for sharing this poem with us. A true winner, top of the line. Lora	2005-08-26 14:40:19
One Evening	Dellena Rovito	Dellena, Good sound structure, easy word flow. You verbiage leaves wonderful images dancing in my mind and a sigh from my heart. This poem is truly a delight, one of your best. Your last four lines Thinking the encounter the first and last I'll ever reminisce the evening past. As Cinderella's slipper was lost, then found my acquaintance proposed another round. give it a perfect twist with, and all comes to he who waits. If this is based on an acutual event, congrats......you go girl and if not, well I like it just the same. The ryhme and meter are right on. Thank you for a delightful read, this will go on my list. Warmest, Lora	2005-08-26 14:34:47
Contradictions	Audrey R Donegan	Audrey, I really liked this one, one of your better ones. Well structured, easy flow of words, colorful images that set my mind to wandering and contemplating. My favorite line/s had to be, "Stacked high on sun stained shelves of experience, Like books begging to be read", well I take that back because there are several others that struck my fancy. Your poem is one that begs to be read and then re-read, Kudos. Thank you for the opportunity to read your work. Lora	2005-08-23 23:42:45
Hungry Heart	Michael Bird	Michael, This is quite a bit different from your other poem that I read. Great range of emotions, desire, and owning the feelings in this one. However, I did have a problem with the repition of the line "with my hungry heart", for me it is a bit like over kill...... Thank you for the opportunity to read another of your works, I hope you'll keep them coming. Lora	2005-08-23 23:37:03
Flashbacks	Audrey R Donegan	Audrey, Your style caught me off guard, somewhat unusual a style for me however it does work. I can not explain it but I came away with images of an old woman in worn torn coat (bag lady) feeding pigeons in central park and wondering how she had come to that...Shoot I've never been to New Yorks Central Park. At any rate, I enjoyed your poem and the verbiage...thanks for a great read. Lora	2005-08-23 23:21:16
Our Time	Audrey R Donegan	Audrey, Well structured and your thoughts flow one to the next easily. I seems that we all are on a path of contemplation of our final days here. Your emotions have given us another view of this subject. Thank you for the sharing of this piece.....it's on my list. Lora	2005-08-23 22:50:48
The Dirt Farmer	Jordan Brendez Bandojo	Jordan, You have crafted your tribute to your father well in this well structure easy flowing poem. Your words have imprinted on the mind a life style which is foreign to alot of people. Thanks for the great read. Lora	2005-08-23 22:48:29
Fire on Sinai	Paul R Lindenmeyer	Paul, Wow, I really like this, a great read. Your structure is good, the words flow easily leading from thought to thought while your verbiage leaves colorful images dancing in the mind and the final decission is made, there can only be God. Lora	2005-08-23 22:43:22
Morning Prayer	Joyce P. Hale	Hi Joyce, This was a refreshing way for me to start my day, definitely needed this as the health thing is still keeping me down. Very well structured and ease of flow with the words. Your verbiage is a delight of discription and leaves great mind pictures to linger while filling the heart with a peace and resolve, such contentment in the knowing that prayers are heard. Just a super nice way to start the day. Thank you so much for sharing this piece with it, hope you plan on including this one in one of your books. Kudos, my friend. Lora	2005-08-23 17:54:57
I Think I Will	marilyn terwilleger	hi Marilyn, Now, I know that the subject of passing on is supposed to be one of serious contemplation but I gotta tell you, this poem put a smile on my face. This is a wonderful way to look at what comes next and I also plan on going undautnted and undismayed with a sprinkling of outlandish grace, well at least I'd like to think I will and then once on the otherside you and I can discuss the finer attributes of our crossing over. Good structure and the word flow made for an easy enjoyable read. OK, I tried for the shorter critique and for me this is probably as short as it will get unless we go to a number system, LOL. Great Job, this goes on my list. Lora	2005-08-23 17:51:27
Excitement	marilyn terwilleger	Marilyn, You are really getting into the cinquain writing, and as to be expected, this on is right on count and definitely brings a different way of viewing how our actions are percieved by someone else. And yes, I'll take that occasional smile as given from morning to night for it can sustain the most of pleasant feelings throughout the day. Bravisimo, this put a smile on my face.....thank you, thank you, for the reminder of how something so simple as a smile can bring about such a change in all things. Warmest always, Lora	2005-08-20 11:15:55
Of Frogs, Crickets and Vespers	Paul R Lindenmeyer	Paul, Great structure, the visual effect lends to the quailty and naturally your verbiage is beyond perfuntory. You have given a feast for the senses I have have embided. I have an affinity for this hour of being, everything is so alive with natures music, the type of music that paints mind pictures (such as you did)of a more earthy nature. Thank you for this respite and refreshing offering. You deserve kudos for this well crafted piece. Lora	2005-08-19 19:50:08
There's No Place Like...........	Paul R Lindenmeyer	Paul, First let me get the basics out of the way......great structure, easy flow, imagery and thought flow smoothly without a pause. As to the contente......YES, I like it, this was a great read, I could see the players, the tenseness, a bit of presperation, I'm sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for the play. Now I'm with the crowd, cheering and smelling the dust in the air, and I feel my heart racing at the excitement. This was a truly exciting read and very enjoyable....thank you for this offering. I'm not too keen on alot of sports but I do like baseball......Kudos Lora	2005-08-19 19:17:34
Pole in Hand	Claire H. Currier	Claire, Wow, what a delightful surprise to find this one on my list today. Your structure is good and this poem flows easily. You did an excellent job of takin your reader on a grand excursion, what a wonderful outing. I couldn't help but chuckle when I read "Dad yelling "save my lure" this just totally captured me in the moment. I can envision the trek, the pride, and the surprise of casting and it's outcome.......even the stop at the emergency room.....and then tieing it altogether in your final stanza.......Bravo, kudos---this is a winner on my list. Thank you for such a delightful read. Blessings, Lora	2005-08-19 13:15:22
Love	Audrey R Donegan	Audrey, I love the structure and the visual presentation of your piece. Your wording flows easily leading your reader on as if they were "freefalling". I have not as before seen love quite discribed this way but it sure does fit. Your words leave the reader filled with enchantment that two could come to such a place "love", your poem struck me as soft, giving and sensual. Whom ever the object of your love is, they are very fortunate. Kudos, this is a winner in my book......simple elegance. Thank you for the read. Lora	2005-08-16 09:50:02
Shadow's Last Sigh	marilyn terwilleger	Marilyn, I was going to go line by line but then decided not.......this is just so delicious with all these earthy discriptions, a day in the life of a shadow, how clever you are. Your poem is well structure, flows easily and the cadance is right on for me. I can not pick any one line that I like the best for I like them all. You taken your reader on a great excursion from sun up to sun down all the places a shadow travels and the imprint it leaves on where it has been. This left me with a contented peaceful feeling, and I too sighed at the end. Lora	2005-08-16 09:44:19
A VESSEL	michaela z sefler	A VESSEL [unusual title, draws your reader in] A vessel I made decorated in blue; with comely stones and colors that are new. [earth] A precious gem garbed and decorated; mined from the ground, witnesses wonders. [man] A cup of gold; made in style; decorated and stained in a comely fashion. [the sun] Blue like the skies blue like the oceans; the seat of the Lord; in all it’s Glory. [the Heavens] Michaela you have good structure and an easy flow. There is one awkward place that brings hesitation and that is in line 8, I think because of the plural of the words, but can make no suggestions with out altering the meaning, which would alter your poem. I may be way off on what you were speaking of however to me this spoke of the creation, of earth, man, the sun and it spoke of the Heavens where God sits in his Glory. Your verbiage paints vivid pictures and lent a sense of awe and peace. Thank you for sharing this with us, good read. Lora	2005-08-16 07:53:51
The Farmer	marilyn terwilleger	Oh Marilyn, This is simply superb, one of your best. Great structure and flow, very easy to read. I especially like the break inbetween with the counting of rows. You entice your reader to read on to see what happens, what the final outcome will be. Your verbiage paints panoramic pictures of the farmer, a drought, hard work and the blessing of keeping faith with his principles, his belief. Very well crafted and a rood read, thank you for sharing this with us. To me it is somewhat reminescent of Stienbeck's works, you've truly captured the moment in time, could be a Rockwell painting. Blessings, Lora	2005-08-14 15:06:06
The Marsh Cat	stephen g skipper	Stephen, Very well structured and great flow. This reminds me of some songs, the works of Rupert Holmes, very seductive, subtle but sort of in your face at the same time. You have captured the moment well in your well turned phrases, this is one of those pieces that echo's in my mind. I could not pick one line that stood out for they all are exceptional and one would not be the same without the others. Once again, this would make a great song..... Thank you for giving this few moments of joy and sharing this with us. I look forward to seeing more of this style from you. Lora	2005-08-11 21:57:28
Captive Soul	DeniMari Z.	DeniMari, Your structure is good and your words flow easily one into the next. You have painted a diffuse picture, one I'm not sure is good or bad but that I can identify with. I think there is a bit of this in all of us, at least those of us who are honest with ourselves about our lives, our beliefs and feelings. You summon us to an awakening, knowing of ourselves, our imperfections, our downfalls, our escapes, the things that help us to remain functional in what can be such a disfunctional place. You have crafted this piece well and certainly have honed your skills as a poet and potential philosher....Thank you for gifting us with this talented piece. Lora	2005-08-11 21:47:08
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