James Edward Schanne's E-Mail Address: jim522@netzero.com
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Below you will see ALL of the Critiques that James Edward Schanne has given on The Poetic Link.
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Poem Title	Poet Name	Critique Given by James Edward Schanne	Critique Date
pernicious anomaly	Mell W. Morris	This older poem of yours stricks me as cute but lacking the depth I see in your work now, While this is fun to read (I went back and read your last three), I don't get an idea from this one to take with me on this one. Thanks for letting me read and comment.	2004-10-04 15:29:26
verse 61 (Birth)	Erzahl Leo M. Espino	Loves delightful gift babies cry is music heard Celebrating life As much as I talk about having ones own voice I couldn't resist the rewrite, Thanks for letting me take a shot at it.	2004-10-04 10:58:02
Mainstreaming	Edwin John Krizek	A passionate malaise, how interesting. This piece has good flow and some good metaphors which I'm always a sucker for. And it makes me wonder about the difference between consciousness and being conscious of my own consciousness and does that lead to or away from humdrumness, Away from I hope. Thanks for letting me read and comment.	2004-10-04 10:51:57
Finding the Muse	Edwin John Krizek	Writing with a sense of urgency is important I think and this poem is a reminder of that. So often its a sense lost and then springs out of nowhere . Why? I don't now. But also like most I'd like to have some control over the process and come up empty. So it becomes a quiet prayer to that voice that gives me voice. Thats kind of what I get from your poem. Thanks for letting me read and comment.	2004-10-04 09:23:30
Verses 41 to 60 – Third Collection	Erzahl Leo M. Espino	Great start for a new month with a best of retrospective, and as for stubbornness to me its important to keep your voice your own and you have done that, Thanks for letting me read and comment!!!!	2004-10-01 06:34:28
Thoughts on An October Day	Joanne M Uppendahl	The birds migration always leaves me a little melancholy, it makes fall start to merge into winter and leaves summer in a lonely past, warm memories for me to swirl around in my glass of port. the flocks are waving farewell until next spring. Thanks for letting me read and comment.	2004-09-30 15:56:52
When Trees Begin to Spill Their Color	Joanne M Uppendahl	lovely, so picturesque I feel like I've taken a walk in the woods. And thats something I used to have the time for often, now hardly at all. I enjoyed the experence very much thank you.	2004-09-26 16:03:58
Schism	Regis L Chapman	Is - sitting isosceles talk - a yoga reference, if so is that you or the cat, I can picture a kitty in meditation-meuuuum meuuuum, being the mantra; Oh well thanks for letting me read and comment.	2004-09-24 11:04:35
Moving On	Joanne M Uppendahl	Amphibians bugged out with summer largely eying the fall of the simmering vaporous daze within days green fading fast on breezes touching the coffee chilled on the morning breath smacks the caffeinated cheek with kisses of understanding that I do not understand Oh well, I felt inspired by your poem, thanks for letting me read and comment.	2004-09-23 09:28:25
The Earth Smiled	marilyn terwilleger	And the gods frolicked supremely, in the knowledge of being ultimate, till God decided otherwise- Thanks for leting me read and comment, I enjoyed both.	2004-09-22 17:37:10
A Pocketful of Stones	Lynda G Smith	I've just got stoned. These lines string together nicely and make me contemplate the rocks in my head. I wish they were as polished as your poem. I see nothing to change in your poem. Just let me say thanks for a very good read.	2004-09-22 10:59:37
japanese verse 60 (Pillow)	Erzahl Leo M. Espino	pillow listener of snores cloud of my most sweet escapes morning says goodbye Oh well theres mine. Thanks for letting me read and comment.	2004-09-21 14:14:34
Dark Angel	Edgar Alan Pierce	In line ten - love an compassion - should I believe be-love a compassion, also in line 13-suffering and hateing oneself - hateing should be spelled hating, In the line- Dwealing in life -ever surviving never enjoying, is dwealing supposed to be dwelling, if not I'm not sure what word you were after. Interesting poem though thanks for letting me read and comment.	2004-09-21 14:05:59
The Bearers of Vision	Rick Barnes	It seems to me to read better broken into stanzas of; For we ever journey onward through the darkness, as if we were wearing the very darkness, carrying the very darkness sharing, all of us, sharing the very darkness. That has defined our vision, combined our vision refined our vision, into a small, thin, dim blue beam of light. Even so, there are those among us who somehow know, we have all the light we need. It seems like two distinct thoughts, Thanks for letting me read and comment.	2004-09-19 19:17:53
The Man In The Window	Ms.Kim Shumaker	This poem reminds me of a book I read by a philosopher named Motermer adler who died in 2001, the book was called how to think about angels, He drew many parallels between thoughts of angels and subatomic particles,not they were alike in reality but that how we know of their reality. That is that their inferred, one from our limits of the knowledge of matter and one from our limits of the knowledge spirit. The conclusion being that one makes no less sense than the other. So angels for me are very much a matter of the way the world really is, Thanks for letting me read and comment.	2004-09-18 22:44:57
Seattle	Michael J. Cluff	It can be tough at times to critique when you see little in a poem that you would change, Still I find any changes people suggest at least gets me thinking, no matter how bad so heres mine; the line; being blanketed warm I like; cold cadvavers blanketed warm and next insulated from the standards of the living Well that just some suggestes to chew on,Thanks for letting me read and comment	2004-09-18 19:13:53
Imperfection	Robert Wyma	Our own effects, effect the effects of others, Anyway thats what comes to mind reading your last 9 lines; Also of course the fact that we're often not who we think we are, for me that always opens up questions of if we are who we intend or not or if it's deliberate and so on , I love the line; coalesce my dreams Thanks for letting me read and comment in my own way.	2004-09-18 18:44:59
She's...	Patricia Gibson-Williams	I think rapt makes sense to me, I enjoyed reading it. thanks for posting.	2004-09-18 09:32:14
Mass of tears	Mark Andrew Hislop	In line two is out meant to be our, That seems right to me. Other than that I think it hits its mark, of course since I'm chatholic the alter boys and Eucharist mentions stricks a special chord with me.	2004-09-18 09:12:50
The Jester's Prayers	Karen Ann Jacobs	Dear Painter, Behold longing reflected in my vision lying within see, more than mischief lurking My countenance riddles working on your mind struming strings, plucking vibrations Oh well I just fealt like rewriting a little, I'm not sure it helps but I had fun, Thanks for letting me read and comment.	2004-09-17 19:04:52
japanese verse 59 (Lake)	Erzahl Leo M. Espino	words lined with sweet grace breath holds a tumbling stare reflects my wonder	2004-09-17 10:32:10
Deep In My Heart Is A Song	Mell W. Morris	A place to call home is important to all living things I would think, And sing to in praise when finding it is grand. Thanks for letting me read and comment.	2004-09-16 16:28:11
On a Bench by the Potomac	cheryl a kelley	The pace of life has so often changed for me, left me bewildered , in need of calibration from some universal clock - BUT I don't know how to access such a thing, Thanks for the good read much in joyed.	2004-09-15 19:48:57
Stones Will Sing	Joanne M Uppendahl	You know sometimes my soul is so full of hot air it floats before and above the physical me, luckily yours is a higher self, and your poem a higher piece of art. Thanks for letting me read and comment.	2004-09-15 14:19:52
4 Fleck of the Sun	Jana Buck Hanks	This time the breeze is implied by the wave, the word haunt in line two I really like because I picture the birds peaking out of the trees and flying when they think the time is right, the suns heat put a warm smile on my face, probably because now that it's sept. the warm days are drifting off. Thanks for letting me read and comment.	2004-09-13 15:09:31
3 Late Summer	Jana Buck Hanks	The first thing that struck me was are the Black-eyed Susans nodding in agreement or are they nodding off asleep, In agreement with the butterflies and trees , After all I think just about everybody loves an autumn kiss. Thanks for letting me read and comment. I enjoyed it.	2004-09-13 15:02:24
Big Catch	Claire H. Currier	This brings backs memories for me of going out fishing with my dad and four of my brothers, our boat leaked quite a bit so two of us had to bail out all the time, and mostly what we got on our lines were turtles, This poem flows like casual conversation which I'll asume was the intent, Thanks for letting me read and comment.	2004-09-13 11:44:40
ILLINOIS	Mark D. Kilburn	This is one of those poems with such a personal feel it seems to defy Critiqueing, Yet let my ego roam its terrain. I would think that - to take your breath away - should maybe be takes' your breath away; they are singing still whistling worries far away, I read a comma between singing and still, yet that's nothing much and you given me a very good read. Thank you. ;	2004-09-12 19:41:04
Listen For The Shout	marilyn terwilleger	The triumph of the human spirit, certainly hard to knock a line, esp. from something so uplifting. The last three lines reminds me of a certain Dylan Thomas poem, Hey, I don't know why I keep rereading to see if I can think of some suggestion to improve without changing intent, I cannot.	2004-09-12 18:47:19
Crab	Mark Andrew Hislop	A cute little poem with : Again that untidy wetness Swallows my sky. It spits it out again, Now it drowns me in light. Rising above meer cuteness, to grasp something higher, visions That strikes the imagination into a playground of the soul	2004-09-12 11:31:42
Poet's Prophetic Metophor	Robert L Tremblay	Lots of good imagery in this piece, the line -Agape quivers as dark void it loathes - reads to me as if it needs a word or two to make sense of it like perhaps - Agape quivers as dark as the void it loathes - or perhaps something else if that alters your intent. Thanks for letting me read and comment.	2004-09-12 09:37:17
Enough2	Edwin John Krizek	I think enough has more depth in its lines, So that is the better of the two thanks for letting me read and comment.	2004-09-10 19:07:33
Enough	Edwin John Krizek	This certainly reminds me of something I always think of when people say we've got to change the world, I make the world a better place by doing what I can to make that part of it I exist in better by my actions. I'll wait until I read the second to comment.	2004-09-10 18:17:05
Creating and Dating	Mandie J Overocker	love or the anticipation of it is agreat creative force, I know it is for me. Your poem flow wells I think; Building gradually growing mindfully restless you caress my skin your lips thin pulled tight no fight. This line does it good. Thanks for letting me read and comment.	2004-09-10 13:42:22
Insight	Andrea M. Taylor	The intellect sees through its instinctive lens, does that lead us to only some of our beliefs or all of our beliefs you certainly leave that to the reader, which I think is quite right. Thanks for letting me read and comment.	2004-09-10 13:33:25
Canvas of Life	Jana Buck Hanks	Lots of imagery in action with flights of lovely fantasy I went back and read this with the first as one but I think it works well either way and do you really have Lamia fantancies? Thanks for letting me read and comment	2004-09-10 10:37:28
CRUCIBLE OF THE TOWERS	Paul R Lindenmeyer	AS its posted yearly I guess theres not really much to be suggested except its important to remmember Thanks for letting me read	2004-09-10 09:00:23
A Fragment	Sandra J Kelley	chained to his chair- a slave to his labor, doing what must be done because it is what he must do, knowing no matter how much is put into that first draft most of it never touches another soul, and thats just what I get from the first three lines, every fragment tells much more then what is eyed. Thanks for letting me read and comment on a fine piece of work.	2004-09-10 08:57:46
Fairyland	marilyn terwilleger	is this a comparison between the dream\fantasy and the reality which falls short of such lofty expectations, I esp. contrast the line: I stroll along a tranquil path in search of a mystic fairyland with my footsteps trudge on pseudo sand and my disenchanted heartbeats sag I enjoyed this very much Thanks for posting and allowing me to comment	2004-09-08 21:51:04
1000 DEAD AMERICANS	Mark D. Kilburn	The first part is very vivid, I can see the bodies lying in the sand kind of like a field of corpses, I guess I might have tried for a metaphor along those lines, the line- insanity at it’s worst -seems to me as one thats been done to death, perhaps trying to give it a new twist would help. But you do present your theme with lots of force which is always a plus, Thanks for allowing me my two cents. Thanks for submitting and letting me comment.	2004-09-08 14:43:35
A Real Life Fairytale Dance	Christopher T. Moore	Re: A critique... I HAVE AN IDEA!! Marilyn (dialup-4.227.154.188.Dial1.Denver1.Level3.net) Sep,07.2004-18:00 This is a post from the forum , seems everyone is concerned about the site, just in case you aren't checking I'd thought I'd try another approach to bring it to your attention Count me in as a "blogger"...now how can we get this message out to everyone when just a few of us come to the forum? If Chris will answer Arnie's e-mail and agrees with the idea he can do it. Well...ya if he will answer. I don't want our bedloved TPL to die a horrible death...it has sustained me much more than you might think and I know others feel the same way. I use to go to Poem Kingdom once in a while but only met one person there that still e-mails me. He told me in his last e-mail that the site is in real trouble and one person has started her own poetry site because of it. Yes....I haved tried in vain to get him to post here as he is a prolific writer and the worst of it is he has never given me a reason why he doesn't give us a try. In the mean time lets keep criting and posting... let us not unplug the machine yet! Hanging on by my teeth...Marilyn	2004-09-07 18:32:37
A Diamond Of Design	Nancy Ann Hemsworth	People as gems in all there many different qualities, we all belong to different groups and yet have individual uniqueness of our own. It makes me wonder what kind of gemstone I am, the irish in me says emerald and perhaps thats right your poem does make me a bit envious. But of course I'd rather think of myself as captured in: But then the transparent gem, it comes to light One that's radiance, does beam so bright No serious diffusion stops it's glow A soul that shines, a heart were love does flow I can only hope I am. Thanks for posting your delightlful poem.	2004-09-07 17:36:10
Arthurian Ode - Part One	Robert Wyma	Here comes christianity and Merlin sees it coming along with Arthurs rise in power, it reads real well I thought. I'll be interested to see if some body else Thinks there's any flaws in it, Because I got to be honset I don't, The once great Merlin has left all behind to steward the vision gifted by powers while star wrapped signs mark well the decline of wizards tradition as Christianity flowers. This stanza boils down everything pretty well and then is used as a spring board to let the words bounce forth and they leap right into my eyes. Thanks for posting and letting me comment.	2004-09-07 09:43:52
Flow?	Ryan D Allen	reading this I wonder if -down here- in the first line is really needed and if -to it- after flow is needed as well although perhaps your going for a certain effect thats escaping me. Thanks for letting me read poem	2004-09-01 10:01:14
2 (Play)	Jana Buck Hanks	I like this one better better than emerald, why? because the last line makes me think more of an interplay between the first and second lines, I hope that doesn't sound like I'm saying I like it more because I like it more. Thanks for letting me read it.	2004-08-30 11:47:11
1 (Emerald)	Jana Buck Hanks	Nice contrast in the first line of the colors of sand and water, I can see them meeting and the sandpipers of the second running along the waves mixing with seagrass. nice change of 6-5-6 as opposed to the oft used 7-5-7 while still maintaning 17 syllables. A pretty picture, reminds me I didn't go to the beach enough this summer. Thanks for letting me read it.	2004-08-30 11:20:04
A Loss of White	Medard Louis Lefevre Jr.	Nihilism suched into a black hole, if thats what your going for then you hit the nail on the head, Thanks for letting me read your poem	2004-08-30 08:15:31
Becoming Acquainted With Bly	Mell W. Morris	I'd hate to think you would't post this, It was very enjoyable with the : or where it pleases. I once fell in love with a pinecone placed at my feet by the wind which was following and obeying a force irresistible. A triangle formed: pinecone, wind, and me. You once were fond of a sprig of chervil, the nicest gift you ever received. with the stanza being my favorite, Its hard to step back from what we write and see what might be most treasured, I certainly enjoyed this . Thanks for posting it.	2004-08-29 18:58:42
Grandchildren	marilyn terwilleger	That second stanza makes me think of my mother now a GRAND mother 20 something times over, They are her greatest joy and she finds all excuses possible to have all her children bring theirs' over to her house Thanks for posting and I did read that post on the forum and have posted three poems the last three days, perhaps another one tommorrow	2004-08-29 17:52:15
A Society Gone Wrong	Ms.Kim Shumaker	My soon to be eleven year old step daughter is preparing to enter 5th grade, I guessI'm luck in that I have the resourses to send her to private school, as so much of later life is affected by these younger years, I think its important to help our children not just to get all the information they need to decide but the vision to decide wisely. Thanks for letting me read a most interesting poem	2004-08-29 11:44:15
Poem Title	Poet Name	Critique Given by James Edward Schanne	Critique Date

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