marilyn terwilleger's E-Mail Address: mterwilleger@bresnan.net

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Poem Title	Poet Name	Critique Given by marilyn terwilleger	Critique Date
Winds of Change	Michael Bird	Hi Michael....beautifully stated. This terse poem is lovely and evocative. I have read it more than once just to get the feel of the music of the words. I love the message conveyed in this poem. Very well written poem that is simple and powerful....well done! Cheers....Marilyn	2007-09-08 10:46:44
Living In The Questions	Nancy Ann Hemsworth	Hi Nancy....yes this song could easily stand alone as a poem....and does. It is very well written with a lovely message and I would love to hear it sung. You have good word choices and I will not attempt to pick a favorite line or phrase lest I do an injustice to the rest. Well done and I hope to read more from your pen soon. Blessings, Marilyn	2007-09-04 15:58:39
TRAUMA, THE REALITY	Debbie Spicer	Hi Debbie....this doleful write, while beautiful in the manner in which you wrote it, limns the constant grief you have endured. I know you will never forget the trauma as it will be with you for all your days but the grieving will come to an end and probably when you least expect it. I can only just imagine what that horrible event is like to live with...I have endured trauma and grief but never to this magnitude. I think being a cancer survivor has served to make me stronger but when I lost my husband I thought I would never recover as I felt lost and alone. You have written this so well...in fact I could easily feel your pain as I read the words. Your last line...."A gift that keeps on giving no matter the price" is so powerful and a perfect way to end this piece. Very well done. Blessings....Marilyn	2007-08-30 17:33:11
Of Diamonds and Moonbeams	Mary J Coffman	Hi Mary....this is a superb poem and one I wish I had written! The wonderful word choices and phrases paints a beautiful image in my mind. We have had an unusally hot summer, as well, and I have found myself almost wishing for the cold of winter. I have tried to pick a favorite phrase and even though I have read this several times I cannot chose one over the other. Your skill as a writer is very evident in this poem. brava and a dozen red roses at your feet! blessings....Marilyn	2007-08-29 15:47:52
Mowed Over	Dellena Rovito	Hi D....what a clever idea for a poem! I too remember those days of the push mower and what a chore it was to cut the grass. The smell of newly cut grass is wonderful and I remember, even as a child, how much I loved that aroma. You have written this without punctuation and made it work very well just using line breaks. The imagery is wonderful and thanks for taking me back to a time when things were simple. I hope we never forget to remember that time in our lives as it may never happen just like that again. cheers.....Marilyn	2007-08-29 15:42:12
A GLYMPSE OF HEAVEN	Monica ONeill	Hi Moni....this is such a lovely poem and one that tugs at my heart strings. I like the way you formatted it with no punctuationa and in lower case. It is as if you wrote down your thoughts quickly less they be lost in a swirl of grief. I think we are protected, somewhat, when we experience a tremendous loss such as death of a loved one. I felt I was numb about an inch deep all over my body and my soul so that the hurt could not assualt me when I wasn't expecting it. "by his verbal caress" is a wonderful line and it does speak to me. Well done and a good contest entry for this month! blessings....Marilyn	2007-08-28 17:18:58
Release Me	Rene L Bennett	Hi Rene'....this poem, even though melancholy, has an uplifting message. No matter how down or depressed we become there is always a way to find ourselves again. You have demonstrated that here and done so very poetically. In your line..."little did I see to late"...it should be "too late"...I hate typos and sadly make enough of my own! "I've served my sentence, done my time" is such a revealing line and one I can so realte to! Your last line just sums up the entire poem and sends a good message to the reader...."To love, to live, to breathe again"....very well done! blessings....Marilyn	2007-08-21 16:48:36
Enduring Love	Paul H. Roefs	Hi Paul....you have poetically stated what is wrong in the lives of many...or one could say, what is wrong in our world today. So many people are thoughtless and say the first thing that comes into their minds never wondering how it may sound or who it makes feel bad. The fist time I read this poem I was a little put off by the inconsistant rhyme. The first stanza rhymes the last two lines..the second stanzas rhymes the second & fourth lines...the third stanza rhymes the first and fourth lines...and the fourth stanza doesn't rhyme at all. However, when I read it a second time the flow was even and the rhyme has an appealing sound. You have made good word choices and you are consitant in using 7 syllables per line. A very good and thought provoking poem. Marilyn	2007-08-21 16:43:11
What Lies Ahead?	Thomas H. Smihula	Hi Thomas...this poem certainly puts one in touch with their own mortality! You have poetically posed some questions that I believe most of us have thought about...and some are afraid to verbalize. I remember when Arnie Watchman began to write poetry about death and he did so want to know if heaven existed...he was haunted by those thoughts. When he passed away I thought maybe he knew his clock was ticking. You write about the lonliness of old age and how some welcome, even a handy man, just to have another human in the house. I have a friend who does that already. She is a widow but seems to be quite needy, more than most I think. This is a well crafted poem that shows us what to see without telling us. Your seventh strophe is a good example of how showing and not telling works. Somewhat difficult but worth it in the long haul. Wonderful poem that should place very high this month....brava Marilyn	2007-08-20 17:26:54
Trapped	Rene L Bennett	Hi Rene....if those screams are now beginng to whisper that is a good thing and it also means you are on your way to healing after your devastating loss. You have written this in excellent rhyming couplets without using any punctuation, which I think workds quite well here. It moves quickly like you had to write it fast for fear the pain and words would be lost before you could get them down on paper. "Pain which dwells deep in my soul, holding tight, not letting ago"....yes, it is deep inside your soul and always will be but healing comes anyway and in time will over come painful memories. You have written this very well with deep emotion that resides in the written lines and those that are not. Well done....brava. blessings....Marilyn	2007-08-18 16:45:04
A Slow Dance with Death	Mary J Coffman	Hi Mary....I believe it was Shakespear that defined the result of sex (tried to clean it up a bit!) as the "little death." This is an erotic and sensual poem and one that is impossible to stop reading after the beginning lines. Your short lines and line placement make it slip down the page with ease and your word choices are superb. You have suggested much to this reader without actually writing it which is why mastering the art of 'showing' instead of 'telling' is such a challenge. This is one of your best writes and that says much about your talent as I have never read anything, from you pen, that I thought was less than excellent. Well done....brava....will be on my list. Blessings....Marilyn	2007-08-18 16:37:44
From Trauma To Transformation	Debbie Spicer	Hi Debbie....this is a gut wrenching poem in which you describe your ordeal poetically. It is written with much passion and your emotion just drips down the page with every line. I use the word 'drips' in a good way because I read each line twice before moving on to the next. So it took me longer to get to the end than it would have if I had just gone with the flow of the words as you wrote them. I have only had a couple of other poems that have affected me in such a way. The horrible event you went through will be with you forever, of that I am sure. You will heal (and I believe you are healing) and the horror will be forced to the back of your mind where it will lurk for awhile. Hopefully when it emerges once again you will be better prepared to deal with it until it loses strength and your own strength will prevail. I am sure your web site has been a great comfort for you....keep writing as it is also the tool that heals. Well done... Love, Marilyn	2007-08-16 15:31:56
Footprints in Dew	Kenneth R. Patton	Hi Kenneth....what lovely thougts so early in the morning! I know it is true that we poets often see things that "non-poets" do not...or at least we see them in a different light and can transform the ordinary in something quite unusal and beautiful as you have done here. A terse poem that creates elegant images. Written in free verse and without punctuation works very well....brava! Marilyn	2007-08-14 15:53:48
MAGNETIC FORCES	Debbie Spicer	Hi Debbie....this is a very haunting poem that touched this reader to the core. I have not sustained the same trauma as you but the loss of my husband still haunts me when I least expect it. So I guess it matters not what haunts a person it only matters that they deal with that emotion and even when you think it is gone it raises its ugly head once again. This is a well written poem with good word choices and the word "help" at the end is stunning....I did not expect that. Even though it is written in free verse it has a cadence that is pleasing though the melancholy theme is almost too painful to read. You did an excellent job with this poem....keep them comming! Love....Marilyn	2007-08-12 16:37:30
love will keep us alive	Michael Bird	Hi Michael....I am so sorry that you have lost your wife and also a good friend who was also a poet. I lost my husband some years ago and while I can tell you it does get better, with the passage of time, the grief is always there and ready to strike you at any moment. I find that writing poet does have a cathartic effect on me and I would guess it does for you, as well. This poem is really heart rendering. Your repetition of "Love will keep us alive" works well here. I was so saddended when Mell Morris passed away as she mentored me when I first joined TPL and we became friends. We talked on the phone, when I would go to Ft Worth to visit my daughter, but we never able to meet due to her illness. She wanted to meet me for coffee but was too ill to do so. This is a lovely poem. I wish you well and also peace in healing. Best....Marilyn	2007-08-12 16:22:30
The Cat	Dellena Rovito	Hi D....wow....I thought you were writing about a man you just discovered! Then, your last line threw me for a loop! Pretty sexy write for just a cat. Love the way you wrote this....like a woman speaking to her lover....veyr clever, my friend. I went back and read it again and this time I saw the humor which I missed completely the first time. Great poem with a surprise ending.... Maarilyn	2007-08-08 16:22:53
I Saw You Smile	Rene L Bennett	Hi Rene....Oh how this poem speaks to me! I lost my husband years ago but I find myself still writing about loss, grief, desire and all those things that remind me of him. You have poetically listed the things you miss the most...laughter, kisses, holding hands, tender touches, and his smile. I felt a lump in my throat as I read these words as I miss those very things and know I will never experience them again. A free verse without any punctuation which works very well here. You have let the line breaks work for you so no need to use punctuation as it has a smooth flow without it. Very well done....hope to read more from your pen soon. Blessings....Marilyn	2007-08-08 16:18:14
Youth	Jana Buck Hanks	Hi Jana....never heard of poem sketching but it apprears to be a challenge and even without your notes I would have thought this an excellent poem full of images that are lovely. I love your opening line...barren boards of darkness....a line I wish I had thought of! I cry crystal tears of want....I think people of any age can relate to this line...I know I can. I suppose you could interpete this poem as being about the very young....they are always in want of some kind or the other. But one might say it is about loss as it has such a melancholy feel to it. I also like....my languid steps and exploring my innocence....both which cause me to reflect on the meaning of this poem. It is full of mystery, evocative and well written.....brava....and a red rose at your feet! Blessings....Marilyn	2007-08-08 16:11:14
Looking Back	Thomas H. Smihula	Hi Thomas....this poem is full of emotion. It reminds me of when I find an old picture of one of my children or all three and the memories that flood my being. What is more perfect than a child. "memories so fond they have lived a lifetime"...such a true and poignant statement. Those memories will linger with us forever...thank heavens, as we age, our long term memory is our brightest. Wonderful poem...well written with wonderful word choices. Well done. Marilyn	2007-08-07 17:21:51
Criss-Cross	DeniMari Z.	Hi Deni....why is it we always end up hurting the ones we most cherish and need? Your words are so poignant even though melancholy they resonante the truth. I remember feeling like this a time or two in my life. it seems the mother/wife is the one the whole family looks to and the first one to be blamed weather she deserves it or not. You have written this so well....alluding to but not writing out the deep emotion and sadness you feel. It is good that you write when feelings of frustration besiege you....it has always worked well for me and it will for you, as well. Criss-Cross....a perfect title for a perfectly crafted and executed poem....brava and red roses. I hope your sister is resting comfortably...I am praying for you both. Blessings....Marilyn	2007-08-01 17:09:17
traitor	charles r pitts	Hi Charlie....this is a superb acrostic. I don't know when I have read one this well crafted. It took me a minute to realize it was an acrostic and when I did I found myself saying Wow! Your word choices are excellent and the theme is striking. Everywhere we go, in this life, we will come across traitors. Some are the people we work with, marriage partners, lovers and even our own family. This poem has such a lilting rhyme that it almost covers up the fact that it is an acrostic. Very well done....brava. Marilyn	2007-07-30 17:53:34
FORBIDDEN AFFECTION	Debbie Spicer	Hi Debbie....I remember this poem! It was lovely the first time I read it and this time it still holds allure for me. It is written with deep emotion and passion which makes it a joy and a mystery. Written in free verse it has a smooth flow like liquid down the page. Your word choices are excellent and reminds me of how much I have missed your poetry. I have tried to pick out a line or phrase as my favorite but cannot without doing an injustice to the rest. So let it suffice to say this is wonderful and I do so hope to read another poem from your talented pen. Love....Marilyn	2007-07-30 15:37:18
Morning Wind	Paul H. Roefs	Hi Paul....I love this poem...it is soft, alluring and evocative. You have used a lot of alliteration which gives this entire piece a magical quality. Also your phrasing is wonderful, such as....swirling in the sky's raptured cadence...I wish I had thought of this! Caressing breezes style my hair and crytalline mist cast a morning haze..superb lines. Your last two lines....we left no footprints on the morning dew and a persuasive passions by the morning wind...sum up the poem nicely. You have written this without punctuation and instead have let the line breaks work for you which is very effective. Not all poets can pull this off! A lovely poem....brava! Cheers....Marilyn	2007-07-25 15:33:38
Little Tears	Paul H. Roefs	Hi Paul....This doleful poem is almost too painful to read. I may have completely misinterpeted your intent but to me this little child refers to all the children caught in a war that has no hope and no sign of relief. "Your Mama died in ragged bed an sister may not live too long" is a gut wrenching line. I can't imagine the horror of all the children who are caught in war or famine or disease. You have some good end rhymes that keep this piece moving along and flowing with ease. Your word choices are excellent and the sentiment in the lines is overwhelming. Your last line is so poignant and gives just a tiny ray of hope to this melancholy poem. Well done. Glad to see you posting here again! cheers....Marilyn	2007-07-25 15:22:38
Angel	Jana Buck Hanks	Hi Jana...I have been riding in a car and seen the very sights you so poectically describe. You have written such lovely images that I felt as if I were sitting beside you watching this glorious scene unfold. You have written some good enjambments throughout which give the poem depth. I love the image of "fullness of the gown of a perfect Angel high in the horizon"....just wonderful. Then your last two lines lend the perfect ending to a poem that is well written and a joy to read. Nice to read your work and hope to do it again soon. Brava.... Blessings....Marilyn	2007-07-23 18:02:40
Severance	Mary J Coffman	Hi Mary....The first time I read this poem I knew you were speaking of a loved one but I thought it was your husband or significant other...then I read your author's notes and my heart sank. To have such sad feelings concerning a child has to be the ultimate in emotional pain. Your words are gut wrenching and the way you wrote them cascading down the page, one short line after the other, seems like they are heading toward darkness from which they won't return. Your heart and soul are not only broken but fractured into little pieces and I am so sorry that your son has given you such pain. You don't give a reason for his readiness to die but whatever it is must be totally consuming to him. Such a doleful poem that is well written and very compelling....well done. I wish both you and your son well and hope you can soon find peace. Brava. Blessings....Marilyn	2007-07-21 14:42:49
My Lady	James C. Horak	Hi JCH....Hummmm...I wondered what you were doing with your time as you have been fairly silent of late! I see that you may be smitten or this poem is a metaphor for something more profound than my critiquing ability allows. The entire piece is sensual and quite intriguing. You have created lovely images of this phantom lady. "The sleek of sail to ride of wave and peak to the moon til (till?) dawn" is downright sexy! I enjoyed this....very well done. Maarilyn	2007-07-19 14:20:59
The Mask	Donna Carter Soles	Hi Donna....this piece is so profound that I have read it several times trying to dig in between the lines to find what is not written. The mask could be a metaphor but the emotion is so raw that I tend to think it is just what it says. A conversation with oneself or someone very close to you. Now that I think of it the mask could be the poet's dreams or a lover who refuses to let the poet see who he truly is. Oh dear, I have completely fractured the meaning of this poem in my feeble attempt to understand where it is coming from. Not only is it deep and intriguing but it is written with a great deal of passion and emotion. Very well done. Blessings....Marilyn	2007-07-16 17:26:00
Change	Thomas H. Smihula	Hi Thomas....haiku can be such a challenge as there are so few syllables allowed to say much. You have accomplished this here. I love the notion if the world owning tapestry and you have used that thought well. This haiku makes perfect sense not like some I have read that you have to study to understand. I am partial to cinquain poetry, however I do write haiku and acrostic on occasion. All terse poetry forms can really be a mind bender. Some might think a poet just sits down with pen in hand and creates these gems with a flourish of pen and ink, but we both know that doesn't happen. It takes a lot of thought and time to get them just right. Well done! Marilyn	2007-07-11 16:11:14
Russell Means-American (hero)	Mark D. Kilburn	Hi Mark....I must confess I did not see this article in the paper...probably small compared to the Paris Hilton scandal. You would think the Feds would thank Russell instead of arresting him but I guess they had to follow the law. However, I know there are times when the law turns its back when they see justice in what laws are being broken. This is very interesting and you wrote it well. You should have no trouble in writing a book. It is hard to believe anyone with any conscience at all what put a liquor store so close to the reservation....what are they thinking? Well done. Marilyn	2007-07-11 16:03:14
Dad...	Nancy Ann Hemsworth	Hi Nancy....what a heart rendering poem this is about your Dad. It leads me to believe he was in the second world war. If that is true was he captured and did he pass away there? There are times when I see an old photo the memories assault my mind so fast I can't keep up and I think that is what happened to you. Even painful memories should be treasured as they are all a part of who we are. I like the form you used for this poem as it is like the quick images and thoughts we have when something like an old photo reminds us. It is so sad you never had your father long enough to really know him. I enjoyed this one...well done. blessings....Marilyn	2007-07-11 15:54:25
The Black Heart	James C. Horak	Okey Dokey, JCH, who has made you so mad?? Perhaps one of your many lady friends or just this screwed up world where we live. It is easy to accuse but not as easy to forgive....but we all need forgiveness occasionaly...some more than others. I really can feel your anger in the words of this write and am somewhat intrigued by that. A terse poem that was written with much emotion and passion. Marilyn	2007-07-09 14:37:19
Grave	Thomas H. Smihula	Hi Thomas.....this piece is almost too sad to read even though I have done so more than once. I hope you are okay as these words speak of death and gloom, however it is superbly written. I notice that some of the end lines do not have periods before a new thought begins. It is almost like you decided not to end the thought with a final period as it might make the ending come too soon. Even though this is written like a final goodbye, of sorts, it is stunning and captured me from the first line. Or perhaps you puts caps on the last lines of the first two strophs to make more of an impact...if that is the case it is effective. An excellent poem with overtones that are too dire to think about. Marilyn	2007-07-08 15:27:17
Stronger Than What I Can See	DeniMari Z.	Hi Denimari....this is a compelling poem...once I began to read there was no way that I could abandon it. It is powerful but also has such a melancholy feel about it. Anxiety and or depression can fill the soul and pray on our minds with seemingly no respite. I think you are speaking to that here. You have excellent word choices that express this 'damn seed of invisibility' very well. You have written it entirely without puncution and have let the line breaks do that for you. Some cannot accomplish this feat but I think you have been consistant and it works well here. If you are speaking of yourself, and I think you are, then my heart goes out to you. I have had these same feelings and they can be both mentally and physcially debilitating. My prayers go out to you. Well written and evocative poem. blessings....Marilyn	2007-06-28 10:22:50
Rocket	Mark D. Kilburn	Hi Mark....when I first read this piece I was thinking you were speaking about a dog. However, a closer look after the 3rd strophe I now believe you are speaking of Mother Earth. I think it is the line....only her heart surpasses that strength, for she is ancient...I can't think of anything that is older than earth. This is a powerful poem but misleading in the beginning or perhaps that is just me. Having said that I did enjoy this and your word choices sets it apart from most. I often visit another poetry site and must admit I read a lot of garbage there and must wade through it to get to the good stuff. This is the good stuff. This piece is intriguing and evocative.....well done. Marilyn	2007-06-28 10:12:59
Doppler	Jana Buck Hanks	Hi Jana....exercise or not you have written a good poem that I can certainly relate to. I have been in Texas and endured many of their thunderstorms...they are noisy and can dump globs of rain....not drops but globs! You have written this in lower case without punctuation which I find very effective here. "feeling the electric tingle on your fingertips" is my favorite line. But the more I think of it I would delete "the" and "your"...so it would read...'feeling electric tingle on fingertips'....just a thought, it does tighten up the line. Well done. Blessings....Marilyn	2007-06-26 16:27:52
November's Breath	Joan M Whiteman	Hi Joan....this is absolutely wonderful. I think everyone that reads this can relate because I certainly can. I'm reading this as a disagreement between a man and a woman....your own situation, or not...it speaks the truth. Living in constant harmony with someone else is nearly impossible. There are always words that hurt and accusations that seem unfair...such is life. Your last strophe is so exceptional and the last two lines have compelled me to read them over and over. The entire piece speaks of complacency on the speakers part...there are times when complacency is the only weapon we have to endure an unpleasant situation. Well done....brava and red roses! Blessings....Marilyn	2007-06-26 16:21:45
The Moods of the Sea	Kenneth R. Patton	Hi Ken....what wonderful treausers you have of your great-grandfather. He was multi-talented and I do hope you will publish his work. He was an amazing poet and this particular poem is a fine example of his talented pen. It is very professional and the rhyme is just outstanding. Keep posting these gems and thank you for sharing with us. Cheers....Marilyn	2007-06-24 18:23:39
Ten Moths	Kenneth R. Patton	Hi Ken....I do believe you have written this poem about your mom. Ten of you hovering in her light and now that light has dimmed....it is not extinguished but has just dimmed. It is only natural that you must wonder what a world will be like without her...you have never known such a world until now. You have written this with emotion and the confusion you feel at her leaving is only natural and will turn in to beautiful memories. I do believe this is poem is the most beautiful poem you have written about her. I hope you let your siblings read it, as well. Just wonderful...brava. My best...Marilyn	2007-06-20 16:20:37
Voyage	Thomas H. Smihula	Hi Thomas....your imagery is so great that I felt like I was taking this voyage with you. Your rhyme is spot on and has a fluid flow as it slips down the page with ease. Life, itself, can be a very treacherous ride but one we must take if we want to live life to the fullest and with "persistence." A well written poem that is well thought out which makes it very compelling....well done....Marilyn	2007-06-20 16:11:26
Petals of Flowers That Fall Upon Touch	James C. Horak	Hi James....I did the same thing when I tasted goat cheese that a friend gave me. The only difference being that was a week ago and I was in my own kitchen...alone! However, I can't say, with certainty that I wouldn't have done the same in a resturant....it is nasty stuff. I had no inclination when I began to read this poem that it would end the way it did...it was a pleasant surprise and one that made me smile. Your first strophe is very strong and is written with flourish, which you often do. The notion of having moments to remake is wonderful and a line I will remember long after I forget the poem...not that the poem is forgettable but that line is one that is not. I enjoyed this....well done. Marilyn	2007-06-14 16:51:18
Forsaken	Jana Buck Hanks	Hi Jana....such a doleful poem. One that if full of the ache for a love that has gone astray. It speaks of abandonment and hopelessness which is so sad. I felt this way when my husband died but not for the same reasons. I think it is even worse for a loved one to leave us than it is for them to die when they had no choice. You have written this with very little punctuation and let the line breaks work for you which is very effective when done properly and you have done that. I do believe I would leave off that last line as to me it doesn't add any impact to the poem. If you were going for a bit more drama, than you already have, you might just say...."my heart aches"...no that is cliche and you already used ached. How about "Even my shadow is forsaken" or something to that effect. Don't mind me I tend to noodle with poems that are full of promise. well done Blessings....Marilyn	2007-06-12 16:49:45
Silence	Jana Buck Hanks	Hi Jana....I would not begin to tinker with this poem as it is lovely. Good images created by your pen with an easy and uninterupted flow. To me every strophe is well crafted with wonderful word choices that I find delicious. The only question I have is...'to sides of wooded mountains' when I read this line I wondered if you meant 'two' instead of 'to' sides of wooded mountains. I think it flows better and the meaning is more clear using 'two'....you must be the judge. Good poem that will be on my list this month. Blessings....Marilyn	2007-06-10 16:49:45
Manhood	Mark Andrew Hislop	Hi Mark....the ending of this piece is startling...in fact I sat upright in my chair when I read it. So I went back (several times) and re-read the poem. You use the words 'we & our' so I got an image of two young boys creeping through thistles to converge on a train line on the bridge above them. I thought this mischief can't be a good thing but having raised two boys myself, I just smiled and wonder what these boys intended to do. In the last strophe it is only you that draws a bead on the bridge. I'm thinking the bridge is a metaphor for all the accomplishments in your life that have not been recognized by your father. Perhaps you feel you never quite lived up to his expectations and he has the audacity to laugh instead of giving the encouragement that you so dearly desire. I have probably destroyed the real intent of this poem and if I did I know you luv me enough to forgive me! Well I hope so anyway. You should be proud of "Porcupine" as it did very well in last month's contest. In fact, everything you write and post here does well...so dare ya go....an accomplishment that should not be overlooked. Take care, be happy and stay well.... lotsa....Mazza	2007-06-09 15:09:10
The Decision	Kenneth R. Patton	Hi Ken....the ending of this poem gave me chills up my spine. I think it is true that children are much more in tune with their surroundings and they know more than we ever give them credit for. How a one year old could possibly know she would never see her great-grandmother again is beyond me...but she did. It certainly was a moment of clarity and it will never be forgotten by the people in that room. Many things have happened to me in my life to make me certain there is a higher power that watches over us always. You have penned this piece very well. My best....Marilyn	2007-06-09 14:48:12
Hey Gramma!	Kenneth R. Patton	Hi Ken....this is such a heart rendering poem. I have read it several times and I can easily feel the lonliness and pain in your words...I'm sure your mom does too. This piece does sound just like you are visiting with your mom so if you meant it that way you surely accomplished that. You said you have been sober for seven years....I didn't know that was a problem in your life but if so my hat if off to you! You may not think so, now, but you will begin to heal with each passing day. Writing poetry was such a catharsis for me when I lost my husband and I think you will find it to be for you...so keep writing. Well done.. Hugs...Marilyn	2007-06-08 16:20:42
Thomas, my love	Jana Buck Hanks	Hi Jana....this is such a beautiful write about your grandson. I have seven grandchildren and I love each one of them in a different way, all with the same amount of love, but different. They can break your heart and make it sing all at the same time. I think all grandparents are so blessed. I love the way you have written this piece. It flows so well with the short strophes...it just seems to slip down the page. Some free versers never learn how to accomplish that...but you have. Reading this is such a pleasure that I keep going back to it! Brava. Blessings....Marilyn	2007-06-08 15:56:15
Infatuation	Dellena Rovito	Hi D....an interesting five line poem that speaks volumes. I have known people who took my breath away, as well, and as far as I know I never got it back either. This is a clever idea for a poem and I would like to see you expound on it a bit! Well done. Cheers....Marilyn	2007-06-02 15:26:55
July in Salyersville	Jana Buck Hanks	Hi Jana....this is a delightul poem! It is full of charm and took me back to my own childhood. What treaasuers for a little girl with an active imagination You have a typo...slopeing should be sloping. I do whish we could go backa and edit a poem once it has been posted....but alas we cannot! You have used some great enjambments here but those that end with 'the' would be more correct if you drop 'the' to the next line. Anyway that was pointed out to me by a poet on this sight..but I don't know if it is actually a rule or just a choice. Great poem with fun images! Blessings....Marilyn	2007-06-02 15:24:11
ALONE	Monica ONeill	Hi Moni....the dolefulness of this poem is overwhelming. You seem to be speaking of a son (who is fighting his own demons) as well as your beloved Arnie who hated his retirement, fought for his life and was a wizard with a pen and paper. I think your most poignant phrase is...scattered ashes upon sea foamed shores leaving me alone...beautiful and too sad for words. I like the form you used here....it is smooth and just slips down the page with ease. Do you ever hear from Arnie's children...don't mean to be nosey but I know there was some estrangement there and I can only hope they have offered you some peace. You are a talented poet and I do hope you will continue to share your work with TPL. Also I understand your lonliness and pray that will become less and less as time passes. Well done Blessings....Marilyn	2007-05-29 15:56:30
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