Nancy Ann Hemsworth's E-Mail Address: foxtail@nbnet.nb.ca

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Poem Title	Poet Name	Critique Given by Nancy Ann Hemsworth	Critique Date
Constant	Dellena Rovito	Oh this is great! I love the rhyming couplets that you have arranged your poem in. They make this skip along so well, every thought a skipping spot. Sounds like a skipping song to me...and I think this is approperiate , reminds me of constant changing which is the theme of your poem. "Concrete has a written dictate but then it chips, cracks, breaks and flakes. " my favorite stanza, this is so true!!	2006-07-02 10:32:26
Now that I am dead	Mark Andrew Hislop	I love the rhyme and theme of this work. You have done an excellent job with your rhyme and images ..never seem forced. You have made this reader wonder and ponder on your thoughts. This is a really unique angle to write in.."since I am dead" ..it would surely give the viewer a much different and clearer view of things, it is interesting to me that you have managed to see this so clearly while still caring the beat of your heart..perhaps that is "why"..really enjoyed your perspective..and your words.	2006-07-02 10:18:41
A Spot On The Prairie	marilyn terwilleger	Oh such beautiful and well written images within this work Marilyn. Thanks for taking this reader along with you for this visit back in time and memory. I could picture myself there..and feel my hair at the back of my neck. I can so relate to this experience. some fav. lines in this for me are "It was the bluest noon in June" nice inline rhyme here, it sings. "Gossamer ghosts hovered above the floor Like every fairy wheel and thread, long Fingers of light shone through the cove." This piece appeals to all the senses, I could smell this place as well.don't know exactly why, but that is how strong you have written your images..and I love the way you changed the mood in this as well from stanza to stanza, ending with "My hard breathing ceased, my joy increased As I drank of the stillness and peace" and dismissing the "ghost". truly enjoyed this piece.	2006-07-02 10:13:26
Solstice of Suffering	Mary J Coffman	I just love the poetry form you have chosen. It is so classical in feel and gives the subject just treatment I feel. Your use of the soft "s" sounds in your alliterations is soothing although I can truly feel the pain and emptyness of your heart, I can also feel the mending taking place. Slow and softly upon your soul. I love this type of writing, classic and it is like music ..your own inner music softly hummed. Thanks for sharing and take care. Nancy	2006-07-02 10:07:46
Secrets	marilyn terwilleger	I found the first stanza so vivid in image. "Watch flakes of sun On the chop of water" that is what they look like, never thought if it that way..thanks for the vison! and it is like the chopping of the water our memory, bits and pieces coming in and out of consciousness, and yes trapped there repeatively over and over to haunt. I like your clever similies in this and the over all feeling..I love the ending, it is so "there" I took the footprints to be the impressions of the sole (soul) always sinking, embedded in the sands of time.	2006-06-23 11:28:16
I Believe	marilyn terwilleger	This is so lovely and wise...such a soft and light feeling to this piece which so suits your subject. "I believe" repeative throughout was an excellent way of presenting your ideas here..makes the reader stop and take in your words. Makes everyone of your beliefs stand out so well, and they are wonderful beliefs . Some people go through life not knowing what they believe in their life journey and keep on questioning. But I do know this much "But most of all I believe in His Radiance and colossal grace" ..lovely and spiritual write marilyn and lovely images as well."I believe in rainbows with pastel hues And trailing clouds flair" and here again in "I believe in trees shivering song And blue in a boundless sky. I believe the aria of a mountain’s throng And smiles on a child’s face" This poem stimulates the senses, not only the eyes..but all the others..	2006-06-16 05:15:21
To Mommy	Jordan Brendez Bandojo	I find it interesting that you have started this piece with an apology!! I guess we all feel you have come somewhat short of what was expected of us..even though we have been loved and nurtured and cared for..why the regrets I wonder? You have had a much happier relationship with your mother from what I can tell from this write..but no matter the experience I have from your first stanza realized that we all have the feeling of failure to some extent. I like the innocence of this piece, the feel of childhood throughout and enjoyed your lines. thanks for sharing.	2006-06-05 10:06:38
To dream of sleep	stephen g skipper	wow!! do I ever like the ideas you have presented in this piece...and not one person could not relate to this piece on one level or the other. I like the mention of the "ferryman" this coming from Egypian death beliefs I think?? perhaps I am wrong, but I recall it of some culture..and the fee, from the release of pugtory (not likey spelt proberly"LOL I am a terrible speller.. So within this piece you have made the dreams the demons that reak our soul. I think the idea of "In dreamless sleep the domain of the truly innocent?" is an excellent question, observation and you have certainly made this reader ponder..	2006-06-05 10:02:07
Leaving	Rick Barnes	Oh Rick this is so powerful and full of insight and strong images. I can feel the hollowness in this and yet hope as well. Like the rhyme you have chosen and it suits the write very well. Beautiful sadness expressed here within your chosen mediphore.	2006-06-05 06:59:01
Infinite Grace	marilyn terwilleger	Oh Marilyn this is so spiritual and breathtaking..I just love it..It flows along in grace and I mean that sincerely. This is such a uplifting write, made my spirit smile and flow along with your lines. "Quiet eyes and quiet breath ripe with life, defying death The hills and vales I’ve crossed left me weary, spent, and lost" love the rhyme in this as well..and the thought behind it.	2006-06-05 06:54:07
Tree Swallows	Kenneth R. Patton	You have painted a lively and fun picture Kenneth, and no I would not doubt it one bit that they are having fun, so full of energy and antics. I love nature poetry and you have made me smile with this one. Birds are fasinating, and you have captured this well. "Ferraris of the sky feasting on Mayflies Following the mower with flashes of shimmering blue" wonderful use of the "f" sounds here at the first of your lines as well..gives the feeling of swooping and flying and moves the piece very well. I wouldn't mind one lifetime my self..oh to be able to fly!! sigh! great piece!	2006-06-05 06:48:33
Refuge	Dellena Rovito	and you are right Dellena..we do bury our heads..sometimes I feel these are such large and complex issues that makes ME if no one else overwhelmed and helpless in just being 1 person and why is the government etc no doing what needs to be done over these things or do they really know what needs to be done. I don't think we DO really know. frustration for sure and deep concern for the planet and its people. This was well stated, you got me thinking this morning even though I just got my head from under the covers. (smile) This is a great phrase. "Whistle the mumble of Dixie jumble and then you'll know Nothing changes it's by no means never ever better. "	2006-06-05 06:29:45
Orchids of the Imagination	stephen g skipper	You have created a beauty Stephen. This is so tender and lovely and blooms with love and understanding. Flowers eventually die, your words will remain, sweetly etched. I love the ideas behind this write, they are vivid and the metaphore is exceptionally done. There is no possible way you could offend, you have written a whole bouquet of emotion and feeling.	2006-06-05 06:21:10
A Poet's Dilemma	marilyn terwilleger	I tuly relate to this as do all the poets!! I co-wrote a piece similiar to this with a bit of a comical edge..I will send you the link , take a look if you would like to. "http://www.thestarlitecafe.com/poems/85/poem_653700.html".. here are my favorite lines in your poem "Suddenly I’m full of words, clothed with words, not naked, not inept" I like the use of seperate lines "of words, words, words, and the words, words, words" it adds to the drama of the piece give it the anxious feel, that fills me when I am trying to write something just right!! good job!	2006-05-31 11:03:12
Your friendship brightens my day!	Jordan Brendez Bandojo	This is just simply lovely, so innocent and honest! I truly enjoyed the read. You have presented your ideas in this piece with simple language and intent. It made my heart smile, thanks so much for sharing your first written piece, sometimes the lack of experience makes the write stand out and more meaningful, for we get laiden down with all the rules and techniques and all those things that are suppose to make us masters of the pen..do they really? perhaps, perhaps not!	2006-05-30 11:14:13
Downfall	Mary J Coffman	very effectively I would say..I really enjoyed your style in this piece, with all the breaks and pauses in your thoughts. Also your expert useage of alliteration..beautifully done! I love when I can tell that the writer has really toiled over their word choices and it shows here. Nicely done	2006-05-30 11:10:22
Daydream	Joanne M Uppendahl	Oh Joanne this is wonderful. I love how you have approached your subject and wrote through as if you were nature itself (mother nature) actually came to mind! You do love it so, I can tell through every single line you have written. One of my favorite ones were, (and oh what an image) "As a cloud, I drop my face to lap at my likeness in water." just grand! This is a feast for the senses..touch, smell, sight and sound! I could put down all the parts of this piece I love, but then I would just have to copy and paste the whole thing..(smile) BEAUTIFUL! my friend..	2006-05-30 11:02:52
Ideas	DeniMari Z.	I love the way this starts out "The swirl of my world" great phrasing! and I find the whole piece so interesting and intelligent indeed. This is the question isn't it when we try and compare our vision of ideas with others, and come to some balance that is comfortable, but ah!! "balance" is this the key, I tend to disagree , it is necessary to titter at times to appreciate the "balance" when it comes. I love the way you have phrased this piece, and especially this stanza "Such value placed on an invisible idea strength and balance take boastful stands Blowing dust over the meek and muting parts of rebellious spirits Who pull strands of life out of mind's eye" so true!!..this is a strong statement "Does my rank in life make me less important the back end of a mule" and contrasts with your more flowery wordage, which makes it stand strong against the rest. I like the way you ended this as well "My time in life is my time to undertake With or devoid of a sense of balance" where you make your statement inspite of it all.	2006-05-30 10:54:52
Pollinator	Dellena Rovito	Hi Dellena, I love the layer of sensuality in this piece. It is so vivid and your images strong and colourful to the reader."Drifting by, drawn by colors, shapes and sweetness smells, the pollinator softly lingers but moments here and there. Touching rubbing this, then that, then off…unknowing of its effect on the blooms." This is such a feast to the senses, smell, taste, sight . I love the way you end this stanza with the "unknowing of its effect on the blooms. His reward is sustaining energy." it comes as a surprise to the reader, sort of anti climatic in a way..wonderful! and then your last stanza changes in mood connected by the last sentence of the previous stanza. I like when a poem does that, keeps the readers interest and makes one ponder. Great job! enjoyed every word of this vibrant piece.	2006-05-30 10:47:04
In Welter	Jordan Brendez Bandojo	I really thought your title was an excellent choice to describe the turbulance of thought within your poem. Very interesting write Jordan. The continous questioning gives this piece the feeling of anxiousness which makes the reader go for a tumble along your lines, and also makes you think which is good. I like that in a poem, when the reader actually has to think about what is written. I got lost in your lost thoughts..(smile) You have done an excellent job of composing and presenting your poem, very approperiately to the subject. My favorite parts are "Where did your laughter echoes when it bounced the lagoon? Where did your words hover when no ear to catch them?" also your last stanza really hit strong and left a lasting impression.	2006-05-30 10:39:15
The Child Within	marilyn terwilleger	This is so true isn't it..the innocence of childhood, pity how some let the inner child in them die, I fight everyday to keep mine alive, for she was the one who truly knew the beauty of the world and could appreciate it, and be grateful for the little and most important. I am glad that you can linger my friend. This is well written and gives a clear picture of where the child resides in all of us.	2006-05-16 11:18:24
Longings	marilyn terwilleger	I like this little poem in the way that it reads restful as the subject reflects. I like the in line rhymes of "rest and beset" and your usage of "s" soft sounds dotted all within your poem. The poem on the whole just makes me want to sigh!! nicely done!	2006-05-16 11:09:48
Alcohol Poisoning	Mike j Hoffman	Now this is a description for sure..made me head real. I have only been in that state once and made sure it never happened again. Not a great trip for sure. I like the way you wrote this, point after point until you get to the finality "approaching the brim of mortal resignation".	2006-05-08 04:38:47
Outgrowth	Dellena Rovito	This is so true Dellena..I like the way you used your 2 stanza to describe "father' and "mother" with nature and you as a seedling as we all are. Very spiritual and wise write. Your ending couplet "The Earth, Sun, and Cosmos do not belong to me, but I belong to them."is so true, life is so beautiful and sacred when one is smart enough to put away the ego, and take piece in the reconization of the fact that we are not the owner, but the owned. I really liked this lines as well.."I’m a solar being, a spark of the Great Spirit fire. Love, sweetness, laughter, dancing singing, even anger, energy’s attributes I utilize, bountiful gifts I enjoy." for this is so true!	2006-05-04 07:50:10
Watermark	Dellena Rovito	So true and well said Dellena. I like this couplet a well done description of profanity "It gushes forth with the pressure of a steamed cooker popping it's top." and really makes your title stand alone...and we do "become less or more by the power of our self-will." enjoyed!	2006-05-04 07:41:44
My Husband"s Mother	marilyn terwilleger	This has such a gentleness to it, and brings such memories back to me as well..of my grandmothers home in my case, and I miss her too. Such a homespun piece of writing, and reflection. I really like the way you have composed the beginning stanza. It has such rythm in it and crisp sounds."Crisp autumn afternoons green beans snapping soft scents of flowers coffee perking" a delight to the senses. I could picture each of your images very clearly and they made memories pour forth from years ago. I love when this happens. Very meloncoly piece, touched my heart as I am sure it will all who read. And so the life cycle goes on, a sad journey at times, but so much love around the corners that it is so worth the effort. Thanks for sharing this, I really enjoyed the read.	2006-05-04 07:34:57
Luna goes to bed…	Joanne M Uppendahl	Such a lovely little haiku my friend. Love the personification of the "night", the "branches" and again the "moon"...The images are spectacular. The choice of soft "s" in the last line feels as if a sigh as slipped from Lunas lips, which is such a wonderful way to send her off it bed. I like your use of assonance in the "a' sounds in "rain, bathes, branches. Excellent choice in the "ch" sounds of your phrase "drenched branches". I also like the loose rhyme of "wind,then" with the "n" linking them at the end of your second line, and "into" rounds it all out with yet another "n' sound to finish it off. This little gem sparkles my friend, and I have had a heck of a good time reading and finding all the skill you have written into it. It is wonderful to find haiku like this cause you know I love to write it myself. Have a great day, and write a few more of these will ya HUH!! LOL..Nancy	2006-05-04 05:28:17
High Road	Kenneth R. Patton	I like the metaphore you have chosen to represent "divorce" and the journey. I have walked, tripped and stumpled on that road"just inches above the mud?" Very interesting, and gets the reader thinking, some in sadness, others in regret, but always with emotion. None of us have walked this road without taking along some baggage. I like the way you did this short and to the point. excellent write.	2006-05-03 14:30:55
The Pouch	Thomas H. Smihula	This is just lovely..I wrote a poem myself comparing jemstones with the people of this Earth so I relate and enjoyed this piece so much. I love the way you summed up all your earlier verses and the way you use personification as well. Nicely done, and your concluding verse is perfect to finish this off. thanks for sharing. Nancy	2006-05-03 04:35:21
My Reverie	marilyn terwilleger	I love descriptive poetry, and this is no excepting! what wonderful images you give the reader in your detailed descriptions of the landscape. Beautiful word choices here "Streaks of lichen on lips of stone lend softness to the robust scene." as all through the piece. The end stanza gives a undetected twist, making this come alive and layering it. I love the mention of the "gods" and "spirits" and mankind. When I read this line I could almost here them, in the wind in your reverie.	2006-05-02 17:56:45
Tattered Memories	marilyn terwilleger	oh this brought a tear to my eye..so real! so easily related to! I love the well placed rhyme in this poem, it seems to give it a "sigh" when you read it, that is simply terrific. I saw your images so well, and felt the feelings as well. Wonderful written atmosphere, so meloncoly and also musical. One of my favorite lines is "One crumpled paper from a chocolate square" well constructed line and so visual. and your last stanza just finished this off exactly.	2006-05-02 17:49:10
HIM	marilyn terwilleger	you can truly feel the faith that you have within your heart and this poem. So personal, this speaks of fear, self doubt, wonder, questioning etc..but in the end one who reads this knows the strength of your conviction and faith and the knowing that you are loved and always forgiven. The description of "Jesus" that you give though the stainglass illustration is vivid, not only to the eyes but the heart. Thanks for submitting such a personal piece.	2006-05-02 17:43:14
Woman	April Rose Ochinang Claessens	You pay much deserved credit to "woman" and do it though the use of scripture..so well done, I truely enjoyed the classical feel to this piece. This is my favorite part "Your womb has given life to the Light that freed the lambs from the Wolf's claws. "	2006-05-02 16:46:40
Dawn Till Dusk	Jordan Brendez Bandojo	This is so full of beautifully written images, and a treat to the senses for sure. I love your use of alliteration througout the piece, especially is the soft "s" sounds...reminds me of the water lapping the beach. I also like the incorporation of the human aspect within as well...adds much to the piece. And my favorite 2 lines I think, thought I do love many is "The cockerel's crow roused the folks Even the poke from deep slumber woke." The hard 'c" is wonderful and goes well with the 'k" in folks..nicely done, for the harsh sound would surely "rouse". and then the inline rhyme of "poke and woke", just set this off perfectly. I really enjoyed your poem! well written indeed.	2006-05-02 16:43:44
For All That Lives And Calls Earth Home	Joanne M Uppendahl	This write is so active and real, you have written each stanza into brilliant images, and I can picture all so well. This is not only for the eye of the imaginator but for all senses come alive in the read. I love the nurturing in this. It is tender, and natural and a real treat for me to read. I think my favorite stanza in this is "Their moist rumblings, her hungry stomach bind one to another-- as meant to be as any pair of lovers." and links so well with the preseeding one. I love the similies of warming mild, like yeast, like sun. very nice! The last stanza is beautiful and such a soothing way to end this piece. You have a way with words my friend, and one can feel the love of all things natural in all you write. Enjoyed this so much!	2006-04-25 18:12:54
A Sonnet	marilyn terwilleger	I love the classical feel of the sonnet form ..this is a beautiful love story and only your second! You have done a fine job. My favorite lines are your ending ones "My love for you abides in shade Cloaked in hues of eve’s brocade". I loved your word choices here "nightingale’s voice sings" the repeative "ing" sound is musical, and this is speaking of music..so it is wonderfully done. Enjoyed your poem.	2006-04-25 15:17:04
Lunar Clips	Joanne M Uppendahl	This is great..what an image.."frog" in the moon..I love the word combo."Yin amphibians " nice sound with ASSONANCE here..it just sings..like the frogs I would imagine under the moon.I love the way you make the image of the frogs eating away at the moon, and then the personification of the moon "not saying a word"..just marvelous my friend, such a beautiful and different image and a wonderful myth describing the coming of the day. you always awaken my senses and my degree of awe for nature , it being Earth Day on April 21, this celebrates the magic.	2006-04-23 20:07:57
Period 6	Ronald D Istivan	and so goes the cycle eh..I like this the way your makes have doodled. Interesting poem. "Magic marker", in more than one way isn't it? It can take us back to "kindergarten" and all the thoughts of childhood that we pen to paper, immature and real and sweet with innocence, or Pack with the devil, deep scribbles dark and haunting..fearful and manic. Tell someone our truth, what makes us who we are before we are no more..leave our make ..our doodled remains..don't know if I am right about how I am intruperting this (know my spelling isn't!" LOL..but it brought me to this place your pen that is..and that is what the task is all about isn't it...making an experience for the reader. Enjoyed your piece, even though I probably analysed it too much. Thanks for sharing	2006-04-21 21:03:37
Ordained	Thomas H. Smihula	I enjoy this work so much Thomas, and can relate so well. Much wisdome within your lines and one can tell that you have thought this through. It is the journey, although perdetermined isn't it, but sometimes we as humans has a tendency to forget to enjoy the trip. It is all in the way one chooses to handle what is given him, and yes in the end, "life is remembered, only for the spirit, within it's duration. Nicely done, I love the spirituality of the piece. Will make the reader think a little deeper perhaps.	2006-04-20 13:12:46
Letter	Ronald D Istivan	Very interesting little piece, my favorite kind. I truly enjoy tight and concise writing. This has such a scope of emotions packed into such a small space. There is playfulness within although I sense a sadness as well, and a vunerability which we all experience when it comes to love. Really enjoyed your poem, thanks for sharing.	2006-04-20 13:08:10
Especially in Spring	Joanne M Uppendahl	OH Joanne "you are loved" that is for sure, we are all loved if we can appreciate what is given us in the beauty and miracles of this Earth. This is wonderfully presented, you know I love nature poems and the flow of this one is light and easy, like the Spring day you speak of. I especially loved this line "cool-soft wafts of air" it is so well done in sounds and I haven't heard "wafts" used in so so long and it is so perfect here. Took me back to childhood, for this is a word my mother used to use. Funny how something like that can transport one back in time to sweet memories. Thank you so much for being my vechile..Great write my friend.	2006-04-19 19:05:56
Moonlit Night	marilyn terwilleger	I just love the metaphores you use here and the flow of the poem. Great images and wonderful word choices..nice "w" and "m" sounds along with the smooth and soft "s"..and again in the repeative "l"..makes this little piece sing.	2006-04-16 19:31:17
Listening	Kenneth R. Patton	Hi Kenneth, it was a pleasure to hear your music this afternoon. I love the way you have described what I am very tempted to call.."marching to your own drummer"..this is lovely...and I could sit here and picture you swaying with you music and as you say, "Only my soul can interpret perfectly The ultimate choreographer" we all dance our own path and seems such a light and happy one you are presenting here today. thanks for sharing.	2006-04-14 12:12:57
Venus on the Half Shell	Joanne M Uppendahl	oh Joanne this is so beautiful..wonderful use of personification. Oh I just love your nature writes and this is short (which is my favorite kind) and makes for seculant treats to all the senses. The ending of this keeps the reader waiting for the kiss. This has such a feeling of being wtih one with nature and the world around us..all the little miracles that we sometimes forget are "miracles". I just simply loved this my friend. thanks so much for giving me a big smile and an awakening of miracles.	2006-04-14 12:09:50
Portrait	Audrey R Donegan	OH I enjoyed this so much. I love short and well crafted poetry, that manages to say just enough and leave the reader wondering about the subject even more. I could picture those ebony eyes staring right back at me. thanks for sharing	2006-04-14 12:01:40
The Utopist	Brandon Gene Petit	This is lovely...the flow and rhyme pattern are wonderfully light and it sort of skips you through all the seasons and changes along the way..like a rock skipping the water. Enjoyed the personificaton throughout as well. gives the piece life as well.	2006-04-14 11:57:48
Vernal Season (Haiku)	Thomas H. Smihula	Ah Thomas, a haiku!! you know I love the form and this one is so well done. I love the personification of the trees "accemting springtime" lovely touch and ending. great use of assonance "bend into the wind" You have written a lovely little image within the restraint of the form and have done it well. I can tell that you spent much time and thought into the word choices you have made, and this little gem shines because of it. Nicely done!	2006-04-12 19:23:32
Waiting	Deborah L Bird	This is the process for sure which I don't think anyone has missed the experience of at least once in their lives. I like your word usage in "Desperatley seeking solace" with the soft "s" alliteration, and also this couplet stands out for me "Pleading sleep That will not calm the longing."good use of assonance". Also the use of couplets to tell your story is effective, give this a sort of hollow yearning urgency that fits your topic well. Enjoyed your poem, thanks for sharing your ideas and talent.	2006-04-12 19:18:49
Soul in Need	Thomas H. Smihula	I love the way this reads..it has a soft but urgency to it which is perfect for your subject. I like the rhyme pattern as well, and the cascading effect. Really enjoyed your words.	2006-04-12 19:10:45
Silence	marilyn terwilleger	HI marilyn. I liked your use of the seashell to compare the sound of silence. For silence does roar in ones head when it brings pain crashing down. "It would be a vacant sound, If not for the tears"..this really brings the atmosphere across in your poem. Lonely and hollow feeling, the tears being water adds so much to the dimension of your piece...even though this has little to do with the shoreline you mention in this, the mention of the tears immediately made me think of a hurtful time in my past, driving in the car crying and watching the rain hit the windshield...very heavy and depressed feeling. Your choice of couplets is very effective as well, with each a seperate thought and process to the conclusion. They come across baren and with restrain in the voice of the poem. I enjoyed this very much because I am a lover of short, strong to the point poetry, that leave an impression on the reader. You have very much suceeded at that. Thanks for sharing!	2006-04-12 18:55:56
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