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Below you will see ALL of the Critiques that Ashni Irey has given on The Poetic Link.
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Displaying Critiques 22 to 71 out of 71 Total Critiques.
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Poem TitlePoet NameCritique Given by Ashni IreyCritique Date
ENCHANTING SKYPaul H. RoefsI'm sure you already know that the last word ended up a typo. Otherwise, gentle descriptions of the usual, but abound with hope of a brighter tomorrow. 2016-09-03 08:41:46
Woe Will Not WinDeniMari Z.Such a beautifully expressed poem about pain. I think what I liked the most about this is the poet facing every rainy night with an umbrella. I love the clarity of choice in that most people who suffer have gotten used to it, or rather, repeatedly forgive the cause of the pain and go back to it intentionally, often stronger.. and dare I say.. expecting it to stop or change in some way? Love you always, Deni. Ash2016-09-03 08:36:48
I Can't BelieveJoe GustinOh my! So smitten with the caller that you can't help yourself to the "siren". What would the woman you wrote this about say? :) Nothing to add .. simple and easy read that brings a smile to anyone's face.2016-09-03 08:23:36
If I were the windJoe GustinEvery line is beautiful! A woman should be SO lucky to have someone like you write such beautiful words about her. I wonder.. do the ladies you write about ever get to read your poems? The snowflake passage is my favourite. It made me tremble a little. 2015-11-29 03:50:12
Sweet MysteriesWanda S. ThibodeauxHow lovely to be in the arms of someone who inspires such poetry in you.. Very easy read. I wonder why you chose to write this as a couple instead of a shorter line free-verse structure. Perhaps something to explore?2015-11-24 05:03:57
MasqueradeJoe GustinI read this a few days ago and had to think about how much it meant before I could critique. Murderers masquerading as soldiers indeed! I couldn't agree more. That's about all I see in the news. It's become that way, this world we live in. Some people with a different point of view choose to make their voice heard only through some form of aggression, instead of striving for change and setting an example of themselves through perseverance and social conduct. Everyone wants change and they want it immediately. Working hard, waiting.. those things take time.. and who has time, right? p.s. I get the intensity of emotion conveyed, but "dumb ass" is not very poetic! :)2015-11-24 04:54:37
A Soldier.kevin DunnVery simple poem with a strong message that doesn't show till the last line. I don't see that you need the period at the end of "dear" in the third quatrain. With all the goings-on in the world at the moment, I feel this message needs to be in everyone's mind. Truly, so easy for those who enjoy freedom on their living room couch to forget what allows them that luxury. 2015-11-24 04:35:27
Inspired AgreementDeniMari Z.I see beautiful colours in my mind's eyes upon reading this. Every shade of blue you described would look so beautiful together in a painting. 2015-11-24 04:28:43
WhereMedard Louis Lefevre Jr.Cry, if your God keeps you alone Cry, if your God wants you alone and yet I am here where I am supposed to be.. So many lines here that touch the depths of a soul burdened by grief.. So many actions we can take responsibility for, and still more that are not in our control. How much can one cry? Is that how poets came to be? 2015-11-20 09:11:55
haiku 31Wanda S. ThibodeauxSimple words to describe a perfect evening.. I read up a little bit to understand haiku structures after you told me they aren't meant to have a title. Looks like they have very specific rules about how many syllables fall on each line, etc. Since this is haiku 31, I went to your poem list to read the other 30.. where are they? Look forward to reading more!2015-11-20 02:08:03
HummingbirdJoe GustinHave you just met someone? Lines are so romantic. A night flower viewing the moon is SO delicately put. Love it. :)2015-11-19 07:19:45
STUTTERING JIM HEDGEHOG OF WW2.kevin DunnLong story short, indeed! You weave interesting tales all the time! Bravo! PS I liked the butterfly joke. :P2015-11-19 07:11:19
Anchored By Old Dirty ChainsDeniMari Z.There's so much emotion here. Some people can be so hard and cruel and still not know it. They say a few words and get back to their life like nothing happened. If we dare remind them of their words, they'll only tell you to move on .. We can never win. At the same time, we never leave. And that's why the cycle continues. Because they know you won't leave. They've seen your heart. They know you will tirelessly get up and try again.. Lovely write. -Ash2015-11-19 07:05:30
Apply For The Job No One Really WantsDeniMari Z.I had to read this over and over. Every line is meaningful and has a strong message. I would think that all of these feelings would apply even if a country was not at war. Being the change you wish to see in the world is a very challenging philosophy to live by. An interesting point - the formal schooling - because I believe this outlook can also exist in sections of society that have had access to and have been recipients of a good education. They refuse to vote, attributing their non-participation in the democratic process to the presence of no viable option (because they are so educated they know the difference!). Some people don't understand the point of embedding themselves in the system. They don't know the influence they can have or the change they can make with little steps. Very thought-provoking.. I'd like to have tea with you someday! :)2015-11-19 06:49:55
haiku 32Wanda S. ThibodeauxVery nice.. I giggled myself.. few words to paint a lovely picture of a blue and white night. You could have perhaps had a more intriguing title to this verse? Keep writing!2015-11-19 06:35:27
ONE BY THE NAME.kevin DunnI always love your poems because they rhyme and have a story to tell. I either learn something new or get sucked into a different world for a few minutes and then awaken to reality .. only to find it dull. This poem works its way nicely from good times to bad. I wish there's a sequel to this only because it has a sad ending. Rather, an incomplete one? Because bad times come by and give people a chance to do something to overcome it? Great write.. but I feel left wanting more.. :)2015-10-01 23:06:28
Love WaitsJoe GustinThere is an honesty about this poem that I cannot express. So simple. The depth you see in little things is so rare. The moment you describe in the third passage is not unfamiliar to me. Keep writing! :)2015-10-01 23:00:27
Nature ClassDeniMari Z.I've read this over and over.. I love it! I think every moment from the meet to the separation is described beautifully. "imagined in love" indeed! Couldn't agree more. Keep 'em coming! :) 2015-10-01 22:43:54
As Summer ExhalesJoe GustinVery nice idea and nicely crafted into words that convey colourful thoughts. Brevity is your friend on this poem. I'm having trouble with the line "she takes in the cooler cold" .. I wonder if that could be rephrased? I'm unable to offer an alternative. Cooler and cold seem redundant in the passage. Everything else is beautifully written. Also, I'm sure you mean "palette". :)2015-10-01 22:18:05
less well lovedMedard Louis Lefevre Jr.Is this for someone you know who suffered a stroke? I remember you mentioned once that you're a doctor. Perhaps one of your patients? My sister is a doctor too, and some stories she tells me are deeply upsetting. Your words simply walk the reader through difficult but honest feelings. No soul to touch, no faith apparent indeed. There is so much more left to give to the world, so much more to love and be loved.. and to live.. less well loved.. i will remember that. 2015-09-05 00:39:40
BubblesJoe GustinI've played with bubbles when I was a kid. Loved making them in all sizes, making two or three stick together and see how they managed to maintain their balance and float through the air until they hit the wall and were no more. I feel this poem is remarkable in that it takes a very ordinary fun activity and puts it in a very spiritual context. So many thoughts provoked in my mind. 2015-08-25 09:28:31
YouJoe GustinEvery time you smile, the sky finds a newer shade of blue.. So delicate and meaningful. Nothing more to say. 2015-08-25 08:52:00
I circle no worldMedard Louis Lefevre Jr.One quatrain after another, I kept thinking boy, this line sure does think a lot of itself. I'd say the line was driveling up until the last two lines. Then somehow, it got smacked hard. Physics was one of my favourite subjects and I loved all the references to it. Very nice concept.2015-08-25 08:46:05
The Wordsmith.kevin DunnSuperb poetry! Love the imagery and your dream. Every description was vivid! :)2015-08-25 08:39:35
Jonny Clem Dummer Boykevin DunnKevin, Thanks for putting in that note. I'd have been wondering where you got the idea for this poem. Now that I know the historical fact, I'd say that to write a poem about this young soldier, his story must have touched your heart. I actually looked him up on Wikipedia and found a picture of him at a young age. Great story and good read. 2015-08-25 08:33:00
Ungracious CreationsDeniMari Z.Oh Dear Deni, I am sorry you've had to face this. Sadly, I've seen this even in my own family, although not my immediate one. It can be infuriating. However, I have also felt many times that its the greed of these "ungracious creations" that sometimes allows them to respond and survive in a fast-changing world. It's the only coping/adapting mechanism they know. Either to get something material or for a moment of emotional superiority. I too'd be damned before I allow space for this in my life. I love the last lines. I think For growth will come 'round should have been the whole line, "for" being placed alongside the 2nd last line. It took me a second to read it right. Lovely poetry.2015-08-25 08:26:01
AwayJoe GustinVery cool and casually distancing words written about someone who knows she can have what she wants, but one you'd rather walk away from for the pain she "sways your way". 4th line really doesn't need the "just to say". Nice write.2015-08-25 07:55:09
A Man Eats ChocolateJoe GustinI was simply looking through the poem list and this title caught my eye and I had to read. Dude, what were you smoking when you wrote this? Fantastic scenery from a wildly imagined world twisted around our pitiful reality. I have to say I think this is one of your best. Keep writing, my friend! :)2015-08-14 20:10:35
When A Lonely Wind CalllsJoe GustinFlowers of steel and mountains taller than fear. She understands the long division of your soul And will still be holding on when you want let go These lines and phrases are so powerful and convey so much strength in a force that we don't see or think about everyday. Embedded inbetween these lines are words that describe the soft and gentle side of that same force. Very nicely written. I've been to the mountains a few times. I know her. This poem took me there again. Thank you.2015-08-14 19:53:21
THE ALTERNATIVE THEORY.kevin DunnKevin, this was very entertaining. Leaves the reader wondering if theories like this are true. The rhyme scheme was great fun and easy to read. 2015-08-14 10:38:52
Don't You KnowJames C. HorakJames, I imagine my living room at night or a forest with lovely trees. Something eerie but so beautiful about the shadows and how they fall into each other. I love these short words from you that take me elsewhere albeit for only a moment. Wonderful. 2015-08-14 10:31:44
THE QUEST.kevin DunnKevin, I actually liked reading this. The last line is gold. In para 2, when you ask if a sentence could be written with seven times "and", it made me wonder for a moment. Some small punctuation eg. mis-spent in L4, pray instead of prey in L13, etc. but otherwise easy to follow. Keep writing!2015-08-14 10:28:33
If I Should SpeakLora SilveyI went through a phase where I wasn't sure whether forgiveness was a virtue or a weakness. I like this poem because it describes what goes through the minds of those who forgive freely and some who look upon those who do as weak. Very strong emotions and nicely written. 2015-07-24 01:09:54
WhenJoe GustinI feel like this is the sequel to Petals. A woman should be so lucky to have someone like you write this about her. The unusual comparison of fingers on a face to astronauts discovering a whole new world expresses the newness of the experience and the joy of discovery. Very nice. 2015-07-24 00:42:51
AssonateJames C. HorakThis poem makes me smile. I feel that way when I come to the poetic link many times. 2015-07-24 00:33:17
PetalsJoe GustinI love the imagery. The words show so much understanding of the "hunger" being felt the beloved. Clearly there is a parched desert in the poet's heart as well and it makes me wonder why there is no action. :) Love how your eyes thinly "hide" the fire that abides in your soul?2015-07-24 00:20:32
The Black RobesMark Steven SchefferI love the inspiration for the poem. Your choice of words convey an intensity of emotion - disclaim trespass but shit on my reef and i can smell you.. I like when you describe the presence of mollusks - it's not something want to see on our turf but even that has grown familiar and the only invaders are the "black robes". By "bath", I also imagine a river where mollusks have a home and the black robes are smoke from evil factories that dissolve in the water and become hard pollutants. These thoughts took me away from my desk for a good minute. :)2015-07-24 00:12:22
Too Youngcheyenne smythCheyenne, This touches the soul. Young love that was forced to part. I find the repetitive lines "their lies that bind could choke and wither steel" so powerful. It projects the intensity of pain felt by the writer in a manner that is very unreal. Beautiful. 2013-05-01 01:45:58
The KissJoe GustinI LOVE the lines A kiss is the soul's way of saying hello. I like the theme and the flow of this poem, but I'm finding the punctuation making the read difficult. I would line the words a little differently - Let our kiss for a while be our only method of touch. Just as an example. The last 4 lines seem like a summary of everything written earlier. I am not sure they are necessary to the poem at all. I think your message and sentiment are stronger captured by the preceding lines and if you wrote it out with the right pauses inbetween, it will make a beautiful poem. Good work. :)2013-05-01 01:33:48
Wisdom Of The WoodVictor David RooksVictor, "If I could see a tree... " I think you would have books to write! I find this short and meaningful poetry. The last four lines are powerful and nicely worded. I can imagine the beauty just through those lines. I think lines 4-6 could be better. They read just fine but I feel they are not as strong as the title, beginning and ending. Do keep writing. I would love to see more from you. :)2013-04-01 08:16:02
Young Couple In LoveJoe GustinJoe, I liked this piece. I feel all through that it speaks of the very age we live in, where the world is mixing and physical barriers (race, community, etc.) mean so little in the face of true love .. and it does take courage to walk (or run) in that direction when so many (living in their small-minded communities) have paid the price for letting their heart choose. Flames without candles, indeed! Keep writing! 2013-04-01 08:07:13
definition: I get what I deserveMedard Louis Lefevre Jr.Dear Medard, A very harsh coming-to-face with the choices one has made.. I can feel the intensity with which the person in the poem deplores his own self-absorbed living and the strength with which he recognizes and accepts the results of his actions. I dwelled a long time on the lines a sine wave is trying to become a circle I must say it set my thoughts into much momentum.. beautiful lines.. I arrive at the sine wave.. trying to progress.. it is a form that has its ups and downs, yet can progress.. but the circle.. it is endless.. it is the same beaten path over and over again.. but the sine wave thinks the circle is more defined... more familiar.. and wants hopelessly to become the circle.. I find it to be a beautiful metaphorical expression.. and shall take the liberty of quoting it when I see a fool on a hopeless quest in the future (if I have the good fortune of meeting one who fits the description!) I loved the food for thought.. keep it coming! Best wishes, Ash2012-05-31 09:36:40
Motherly LoveDeniMari Z.Dearest Deni, A lovely tribute to your mother and all mothers. :) I had some trouble with the punctuation on several lines that ended with a period that I didn't think was necessary since the following line was continuous. Other than that, a simple poem neatly written... and a very happy Mother's Day to you as well! :) Hugs, Ash2012-05-31 09:08:56
I Was In the Middle and You Were All AroundEllen K LewisMy dear Ellen, So sad, this.. Even if I have my loved ones with me, it makes me wonder how I will feel when they are gone.. "I sat alone in the living room.. this used to be your chair" these lines make my heart ache.. I am so sorry for your loss. Do keep writing. You can do it! :)2012-05-24 11:00:14
Nature's Blisscheyenne smythCheyenne, I can tell this came straight from the heart.. So much beauty in this world.. so much that we can draw strength from it everyday.. Your descriptions are an absolute delight for the senses. I simple love stanzas 5 & 6. I see so much of this Earth painted before my eyes just by reading this poem. The couplets are a nice touch.. They intensify the emotions behind the strength and the love that you describe. Very nice piece. :)2012-05-24 10:54:39
Why?Mark Steven SchefferMark, Very nice! I think many poets can identify with this reply to Why? The ending brought a smile to my face. I'm sure God would get a kick out of it too! Keep writing! :) Ash2011-08-30 00:13:41
Heavenly ConnectionsMandie J OverockerMandie, Deep and emotional piece from you. I like that you've captured a moment of intense joy but are able to look back at life to be reminded of "shadows" and hope to no longer hide from them. Nicely written. The word free is repeated in the first line and in the second paragraph.. I feel like it fits better in the 2nd paragraph and perhaps could be replaced in the first to avoid repetition. Just a thought. Last two lines convey a very powerful meaning.. something that every human being would want.. I'm not sure dim was the best possible rhyme to use. Maybe ... "to see the light of truth within and hide no more from shadows grim." ?? Good Luck! :)2011-08-29 21:59:36
LimitlessThomas H. SmihulaMy goodness.. so true of existential thoughts that plague the mind through some phases of our lives. If there is no one.. no rules, no authority, no goal.. what are we then? Beautiful piece... the last line will be in my head for some time.. :)2011-08-29 13:35:33
UndoneJoan M WhitemanYou know .. I really enjoyed the simplicity of this poem. I especially liked the last paragraph with closing doors and opening statements. I found that very original. This poem flows very well and really makes me feel like there are so many people out there who can feel the same emotion you describe .. and the title was apt! :)2007-02-07 21:57:35
My Father's FuneralNancy Ann HemsworthI find this poem very invoking of emotions in theme. However, I feel like much can be done to improve the flow of poetry ... a starting suggestion would be punctuation and better alignment for ease of reading. I liked the intervening blocks of phrases such as 'So Sorry' and the last two as well. I remember watch him "write it writing it as" ... needs to be revised to just "write it". As I said earlier, the theme is very moving and has potential for invoking a lot more emotion in people if written the right way. 2007-02-07 21:53:29
Poem TitlePoet NameCritique Given by Ashni IreyCritique Date

Displaying Critiques 22 to 71 out of 71 Total Critiques.
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